Dawn
There is no life, no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
- Brendan Graham
...no matter what we have achieved or attained in our life,
we still find ourselves burrowing deep within,
trying to assuage the hungers of our soul.
- Ravi Zacharias
Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain.
Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.
- G.K. Chesterton
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I will build you up again,
and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your timbrels
and go out to dance with the joyful.
Again you will plant vineyards
on the hills of Samaria;
the farmers will plant them
and enjoy their fruit.
There will be a day when watchmen cry out
on the hills of Ephraim,
'Come, let us go up to Zion,
to the Lord our God.'"
-Jeremiah 31:3-6
In just a few more days, January will come to an end. This will probably be my last post for this month, so I take this opportunity to write about some of the things that have been on my heart these past weeks.
This is the year I celebrate my 60th year of life.
It has been said that life begins at 40. I think I understand why... because at 40 one has learned invaluable life lessons, and still has enough years ahead to apply those lessons by planting new seeds and then looking forward to harvesting a new crop.
But when I turned 40, Ernie and I were in the midst of a financial reversal. I was in too much pain to even remember that my life was supposed to begin anew... at a higher level.
Choices are never made in a vacuum. Sooner or later the consequences of our choices, whether good or bad, catch up with us. Choices are like seeds planted in the soil of opportunity - there always comes a time of reaping what we have sown. It is also true that some of these consequences are harvested, not in our generation, but in the next.
I impact my generations with every single choice I make.
When I turned 40, Ernie and I were reaping some painful consequences of bad choices we have made earlier in life. True, some of those choices were made by my husband, some by me. Yet some of them were also made by others.
Nevertheless, even if some of the choices that led us to our rock bottom were not all made by us, still we were very much affected by the consequences... like being caught in the middle of a crossfire, or a series of events over which we had no control, leading to a downfall.
Nevertheless, even if some of the choices that led us to our rock bottom were not all made by us, still we were very much affected by the consequences... like being caught in the middle of a crossfire, or a series of events over which we had no control, leading to a downfall.
The beauty at the end of it all is the truth that when God is in the picture, He redeems us from the outcome of wrong choices affecting us, whether they be direct consequences of bad decisions done by us, or indirect consequences of other people's wrong choices. What the enemy meant for evil, God turns around for good.
Looking back, I can say that my life did begin at 40.
And now, twenty years later... I am reaching another milestone in my life.
Life begins at 60.
Physically, I am in the autumn of my life, my sunset years, but really I feel like there is still so much life inside of me. In some ways, I actually sense that a new life for me is just about to begin.
There is still so much that I want to happen in the remaining years of my life.
Much of it is not clearly defined in terms of measurable goals. But it feels like there is a fountain of spiritual energy bubbling up within.
I'm not really a "driven" kind of person. I like to do things slowly, deliberately, carefully. But these past weeks, I have sensed an inner push driving me to move forward, reclaiming territory that the enemy has stolen, and blazing new trails into uncharted lands.
Yes, there is an inner sense of excitement.
One of my favorite Scripture passages is found in Jeremiah 33:3. The Amplified Version renders it beautifully:
Call to Me and I will answer you
and show you great and mighty things,
fenced in and hidden,
which you do not know (do not distinguish and recognize,
have knowledge of and understand).
In the first few days of 2013, the new year greetings I wished many of my friends were blessings of joy, wonder, and delight. As far as I remember, this was the first time I ever asked God to give my friends and loved ones a year filled with wonder and delight. The greeting just flowed out of my subconscious.
Now I understand. As I have called upon God to bring me to a new level of knowing Him, and "seeing" Him, He is putting a hunger and longing in my heart for the unsearchable, unfathomable, heretofore fenced in and hidden, things of His heart.
I love to read. And as I read, certain nouns, verbs, and adjectives cause me to pause and take notice each time I come across them.
Unfolding...
Serendipity...
Epiphany...
Sublime...
Beholding...
The revealing of something previously unnoticed.
The discovery of a truth once hidden.
Arriving at a new level of understanding.
Looking at a past painful event from a different perspective.
In Revelation 21:5 God says, "Behold, I am making all things new."
Behold.
The Hebrew word for it is hineni, a word packed with so much beauty and meaning. It is a heart response to the God who is always asking, ayyeh.
Where are you? God asks. We come across this the first time in Genesis 3:9, when God came to the garden, looking for Adam.
Adam was hiding, but he could never hide from God. Of course God knew where Adam was. And the same is true of you and me. God knows exactly where we are.
God is always asking us this question, and the answer He expects does not refer to a geographical location. The question is not about a physical location, but about a relationship... our relationship with Him.
God is always asking us this question, and the answer He expects does not refer to a geographical location. The question is not about a physical location, but about a relationship... our relationship with Him.
In effect, God asks, "Where are you in relation to Me?"
The answer is not so much for Him as it is for us. God is calling us out from where we are hiding, and into the light of His presence.
The answer is not so much for Him as it is for us. God is calling us out from where we are hiding, and into the light of His presence.
To the Biblical mind man is not only a creature who is constantly in search of himself but also a creature God is constantly in search of. Man is a creature in search of meaning because there is a meaning in search of him, because there is God's beseeching question, 'Where art thou?' (Abraham Heschel, Between God and Man)
This is a sobering thought for me, that God always wants to know where I am. Otherwise, what does it matter what happens to me? Who cares?
If there is no God, and there is no heaven, and no meaningful eternity to look forward to, then why bother to live at all?
But no. There is a God who cares, a God who wants to know where we are, at any given time.
And the only suitable answer to God's question is, Hineni. "Here I am."
Hineni. Here I stand... before You.
Hineni. Here I am, ready to do as You want.
Hineni. Here I am, send me.
Hineni. Here I am, speak Lord, for your servant is listening.
Hineni. Here I stand... before You.
Hineni. Here I am, ready to do as You want.
Hineni. Here I am, send me.
Hineni. Here I am, speak Lord, for your servant is listening.
When I answer, Hineni, then I am in the right place before Him. Then new truths can unfold before me.
I receive fresh revelation... a new level of understanding... and looking at the past, present, and future events of my life from a redeemed perspective.
Life gains a whole new meaning... and the future is mine for the taking!
I can choose which of the many battles confronting me are worth fighting. And which of the many options before me are the right ones.
I believe one does not have to reach the ripe old age of 60 to start thinking this way.
Yesterday morning, I woke up early to prepare a beautiful breakfast for Obedient One and me. We had fresh fruit, oatmeal, banana-walnut bread, sunny side up eggs, coconut jam, honey, and creamy kefir. She was running late and missed her car pool. As a consequence, she had two options to get to work: by train, or by taxi.
If she decided to go by train, at that hour the lines were very long. If she decided to go by taxi, not only was the traffic heavy, she would also have to pay more.
She was in a grumbling mood. A beautiful Monday morning, with a delicious breakfast in front of her, and she was not doing too well.
I ignored her negative comments and kept quiet.
After a long pause, I gently spoke to her... my motherly words of wisdom:
"Dear daughter, it is just the first hour of your day, do your eyes not see such a beautiful breakfast in front of you? Do you remember when you were little, each morning I would wake you up with these words, 'Smile, dear daughter! Give Jesus a big smile!' And you would burst into a grin. Even then it was my way of infusing joy into your heart, to prepare you for the long day ahead, tackling your schoolwork, quite a heavy load for a little girl to carry. Today, nothing has really changed. It is still a joyful and thankful heart, a matter of perspective, that will help carry us through another day. It is all a matter of perspective."
"Dear daughter, it is just the first hour of your day, do your eyes not see such a beautiful breakfast in front of you? Do you remember when you were little, each morning I would wake you up with these words, 'Smile, dear daughter! Give Jesus a big smile!' And you would burst into a grin. Even then it was my way of infusing joy into your heart, to prepare you for the long day ahead, tackling your schoolwork, quite a heavy load for a little girl to carry. Today, nothing has really changed. It is still a joyful and thankful heart, a matter of perspective, that will help carry us through another day. It is all a matter of perspective."
I guess she got the point... and we ate breakfast together, in silence.
She decided to go by train after all.
I prayed for her, my precious "baby" girl, now a young woman... Only the Father has complete access to her heart. Give her a glimpse of the beauty of Your heart, dear God. When she came home from work last night, she was in high spirits. I discerned something had changed in her heart.
I prayed for her, my precious "baby" girl, now a young woman... Only the Father has complete access to her heart. Give her a glimpse of the beauty of Your heart, dear God. When she came home from work last night, she was in high spirits. I discerned something had changed in her heart.
God is the God who is always doing something new. He is the God who restores, refills, replenishes, and renews. The enemy will cripple and maim... but God opens our eyes to see the beauty hidden beneath the difficult and painful circumstances of our lives.
It is all a matter of perspective.
Every month this year, my 60th year, I will share a lesson life has taught me.
For this month, it's all about Perspective.
Age, they say, is a state of mind. As I advance in years, I want my spirit to be growing younger.
I want my age to be measured in terms of kairos, not chronos.
I want to enter the next level of my life and conquer new territories, not in fear and trepidation, but with a sense of expectancy, enthusiasm, and eagerness.
Every month this year, my 60th year, I will share a lesson life has taught me.
For this month, it's all about Perspective.
Age, they say, is a state of mind. As I advance in years, I want my spirit to be growing younger.
I want my age to be measured in terms of kairos, not chronos.
I want to enter the next level of my life and conquer new territories, not in fear and trepidation, but with a sense of expectancy, enthusiasm, and eagerness.
How I look forward to this, the 60th year of my life! Of course there will be a celebration - to which many of my friends and loved ones who have been a part of my story will be invited.
After all, one turns 60 only once.
Hineni. Here I am Lord.
Open my eyes to see the beauty, the wonder, and the delight of what You are doing in my life!
Below are a couple of pictures I have taken of beautiful flowers in my father's garden:
Below are a couple of pictures I have taken of beautiful flowers in my father's garden:
15 comments:
Oh my Lidia. You look so young at your age. I thought we are at the same age. Im turning 51 this year.
Me too feels that my life has just began and there are more places to go, unexplored path that God wants me to explore and thousand more things to do.
I liked your positive attitude that inspires others around you. You are such a caring mother.
May you have a wonderful celebration:)
Hi sister Lidia. I'm in my 40s and when this trial at work began, made me and my hubby's faith be increased more. Going through tough life's storms helped us see the truth each time. That stability only comes from Jesus. I believe that He indeed calms the storms in us more than the ravaging storms outside. For that, we're so grateful knowing the true riches are from Him that last eternally.
Knowing more of Him....helps us with our decision-making. Aren't we battling daily with unseen wars within ourselves that affects our way of making choices? How beautiful for you to be an example of that to your daughter, seeing things through His eyes. Not allowing this world's distractions and storms to take eyes off from focusing on Jesus!!! How wise you are in your age (which surprised me, too because you look so young for that!)..wisdom that is learned from fearing and seeking the Lord. I could tell, every scar in your heart has so much wisdom to impart, the way His scars in His hands had shown how much love He has for humanity.
I love organic foods so I fought that " man cold" with lots of soups, tea, with or without honey, and I turned off my tongue so my man could get some sleep. Plenty of it!!! Which his body needed the most. Hahaha...He's back to work and now, my son who studies so hard that he also lacks sleep. I noticed how short the duration of symptoms with nothing but fluids and rest. Both of them are doing well by His grace. Thank you for this encouraging post. Thank you for imparting wisdom to this hungry heart. Hungry to know more things of God.
Lidia
So true that each "heart beats imperfectly". And God's grace is always sufficient.
Thank you for stopping by Spots and Wrinkles and for leaving a comment.
blessings to you.
Once again, I am blessed by your words. This coming year I will turn 59, and it does make me stop and look at my life in a different way. But as you so eloquently have pointed out, it's all a matter of perspective.
I especially liked what you had to say about God asking us, "Where are you in relation to Me?" That was a sobering thought. And I was very encouraged by the thought that God is calling me out from where I'm hiding.
I am struck by the thought that when we draw close to God, He draws close to us - but not because HE moved away. When we draw close to Him, our sense of His Presence is restored and renewed.
It's all a matter of perspective...
Thanks for this today, Lidia.
GOD BLESS!
my dear sister lidia,
Ah such a welcome and lovely way to "meet." I read with delight. May you be blessed today.
I am 64 and I love it. My body not so much....but my spirit is experiencing a calmness....I know it is from God. You will see....♥
When I stopped by, I felt weary - inside out, out of sorts - and I needed to hear someone say, "It is still a joyful and thankful heart, a matter of perspective, that will help carry us through another day. It is all a matter of perspective" - what a blessing of mother words you offer your daughter. I am glad you shared them - I needed them.
I want my spirit to grow younger in Him, to be less burdened at the end than at the beginning. You start by saying God can make much good out of bad choices in a seed-time-harvest manner - and how I rejoice in that, hope in that, too.
Wishing you blessing, joy and sweet surprises from Him in this 60th year dear friend:)
Maryleigh
Dear Lidia,
You are right and full of wisdom.
"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. ... To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."
There are much strength and comfort in embracing time instead of fighting it.
I have a lot to learn from reading your devotionals.
I don't have the wide view you are describing. I am more a person living from day to day.
I know my 63 year old body is aging, but my mind is still "busy being born."
Time is flying faster than ever, so I have to be conscious and aware how and what I use my time and efforts on.
Thank you for helping me focusing about structure and how to become a follower and a servant.
I use this hour of the day before the others wake up to read, pray and think.
I search blog posts that can enlighten, inspire and encourage me.
Thank you for being here today.
Your Felisol
Oh Lidia, You do not look like you are turning 60 years old . . . you look so young still :O) The only thing I like about aging is the wisdom you gain. I believe the choices we make in life is what keeps us looking young. Eating healthy, taking care of yourself is so important for us women. Loving my daughter is one of my favorite things to do, she's my baby of the kids too. She can be ornery sometimes, but loves conquers all . . doesn't it. Blessings, xo
Lidia, you have such a beautiful heart. I know the Lord looks at you and says, "look at her...isn't she special?" God bless you.
a quick note before I dash out of the house. You know what Lidia...you've become a special bud...a friend that I really care about. Hope your day shines like you shine in my world.....
Every choice plants a seed and every seed bears fruit. So says Alicia Chole - a truth that has come home to roost in my heart. What choices can we make today that will bear kingdom fruit? Such weighty responsibility; such privilege!
I love the changing season in your life and all the wisdom God has given you. Undoubtedly, your choices are exponentially increasing his kingdom witness.
Keep to it.
peace~elaine
I like your thoughts about perspective. I, too, like the unhurried, deliberate approach. My husband and I have made some whopping mistakes financially that we confess and like you, God's redemption is so wonderful to pick us up. Lidia, you are so special to me. I love reading about your activities with family/friends on FB and enjoy your posts here so much. Thank you, sister, for your friendship. You are awesome.
Our perspective COMES from the years we've lived, don't you think? Knowing this helps us be gentler with those who have lived so little yet....
Often I wish MY learning could spare my children their own, but alas! That is not the design. My life is mine to live. To learn. To serve. To love. To model. To impart. To grow. "Here am I, Lord!"
Lidia,
This was superbly written. I love the way the LORD weaves in and out of your beautiful tapestry of LIFE with HIM.... the defined threads - the radiant hues of His Glory that is evident in the landscape of your journey.... with HIM. From Glory to Glory scripture says... we are a work in process... nothing wasted... He uses every turn..every choice... to get us where He has planned for us to go.. All things DO work for good to them who love HIM.
Glad you were there for Obedient One... I love how your heart shines..
love this new word 'Hineni'... thanks for sharing...
blessings and continued favor
Celebrating your 60th year of birth!
patrina <")>><
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