Curtain Call

Taken on Sept. 14, 2008 at Vieng Joom On Tea House in Chiang Mai

My husband Ernie passed from death to eternal life on Sunday, November 23, 2008, and his curtain call came during the three days prior to his funeral.

A curtain call occurs at the end of a performance when individuals return to the stage to be recognized by the audience for their performance. Athletes, orchestra conductors, and stage actors are given honor in this way. The audience would also often give a standing ovation to an exceptionally good performer.

There was an influx of acquaintances, colleagues, friends, and loved ones at the Ikthus Center, the equipping center and central office of our church, the Baptist Conference Church of Bacolod, where Ernie's body lay in state before his body was buried. Nightly we held memorial services, including a very special one conducted by Craig Hill, the president and founder of Family Foundations International, on Tuesday morning.

I knew my husband was a special man whose life had a deep impact on many, but I did not expect the outpouring of love and support that I saw during these three days. Many wanted to give a eulogy at the nightly services, and many more would come up to me, people whose life he had touched, or encouraged, or impacted in one way or the other. My cell phone must have registered over a hundred text messages, phone calls from other cities here and abroad, not to mention the cards and letters and tokens of love that reached me personally or by email.

Basically there was only one consistent thread that ran through Ernie's life -- he was humble, and he had a servant spirit. Though he was highly intelligent and articulate, able to express his thoughts and ideas very well, he remained simple and unaffected. He could associate with people of high stature in the government and in the academe, but he also had a compassionate heart toward the poor and the underprivileged. He harbored no grudges, and truly forgave people who did him wrong. Ernie is known for the ready smile he had for everyone.

What a beautiful way to live...and to die. There are not very many people of whom the things said about Ernie at his death can also be said.

What a great privilege my God has given me to have a man like Ernie for a husband.

There were numerous details to attend to, but because the whole family of Suzette, Ernie's sister, took charge of all the arrangements for this major event in Ernie's life, I was given the privilege of saying goodbye to my husband's earthly life in a very noble, peaceful and dignified way.

I will probably do another post about the funeral which was so beautiful and meaningful. But I do want to share in this entry how good God was to orchestrate the final events of our life together here on earth.

At the necrological service before his body was laid to rest, I read the letter I wrote Ernie on our thirtieth wedding anniversary. How was I to know that this was the last year of our marriage, and that the "until death do us part" portion of the wedding vows we said to each other 30 years ago would take effect in just a few months? Yet our heavenly Father knew, and He led me to write that letter, so that the eulogy I gave at his funeral were not words spoken to a lifeless body but words of appreciation and affirmation given to a man when he was still very much alive.

The year we spent together in Chiang Mai was a fitting ending to a beautiful marriage. I had Ernie all to myself, and he had me all to himself.

The time that I was still able to enjoy being with him after coming so close to losing him two years ago was God showing me that He is indeed the "God of the Second Chance." Being aware that Ernie could go anytime, I truly cherished each day that Ernie and I had together.

We got out of Thailand just a few weeks before the political unrest became really disruptive.

Upon returning to the Philippines, for a whole month, Ernie was able to enjoy his grandson Matthew, the apple of his eye in this season. He seemed the happiest of all when Matthew turned one month old and our family had a little party to mark this occasion on November 20, just three days before his death.

Our garden was a very special place for Ernie and me. We would sit here early in the morning to sip coffee together, or after dinner in the evening, to have a cup of special tea. As a way of paying tribute to this very special man, our garden was alive with flowers, some of which bloomed the day after Ernie was buried.

Stargazer Lily, taken on November 27, 2008, a day after the funeral

Taken on November 30, 2008

More flowers a-bloomin' for Ernie...

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Can’t believe the hopes He’s granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But we’ll keep you close as always
It won’t even seem you’ve gone
Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say “Never,”
Cause the welcome will not end.

Though it’s hard to let you go,
In the Father’s hand we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends...

(Friends, by Michael and Deborah Smith)