End of August post, Part Two
And she conceived again and bore a son, and said,
"This time I will praise the LORD."
Therefore she called his name Judah.
- Genesis 29:35
But the LORD said to Samuel,
"Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature....
For the LORD does not see as man sees:
for man looks at the outward appearance,
but the LORD looks at the heart."
- 1 Samuel 16:7
There are two kinds of beauty;
there is a beauty which God gives at birth,
and which withers as a flower.
And there is a beauty which God grants
when by His grace men are born again.
when by His grace men are born again.
That kind of beauty never vanishes but blooms eternally.
- Abraham Kuyper
An Unexpected Trip
I arrived back in Manila on the 14th of this month. It was a trip I was not intending to make at this time, but when the idea was dropped into my heart a few days before July ended, I realized that Abba Father was the One prodding me to do so.
Everything fell smoothly into place. The date was set, the ticket purchased, and I arrived in Manila on a Sunday morning. Perfect planning. After a leisurely breakfast, I was able to attend the 11 a.m. worship service at Victory QC on Katipunan Ave. together with my daughter Obedient One, and her maid (whom I have named Servant Heart).
I am always thankful for the opportunity to have some quality bonding time with my dear daughter, reconnect with friends, and to spend time in my father's home, the lovely home where I spent my teenage and early adult years, some of the happiest years of my life.
A Pleasant Surprise
The week I arrived, I was finishing the book on brokenness by Nancy de Moss. One week later, a pleasant surprise turned up. A friend's blog post inspired me to take a closer look at the life of Leah, Jacob's first wife.
All these years, I had assumed that Rachel, being Jacob's first love and favored wife, was the main character in the story. Leah's role was that of a disgruntled woman suffering from jealousy and unrequited love. Or so I thought. I never bothered to check if my assumptions were based on truth.
This past week I studied the life of Leah. By looking at her from a different light, my efforts were rewarded with many fresh insights.
Paddan Aram Revisited
Her story is well-known. Jacob appears at his uncle Laban's doorsteps in Paddan Aram, running away from his brother Esau, and in need of a means of living to support himself. He meets Rachel and falls in love with her. In exchange for seven years of work, Laban promises to give him Rachel. The years go by quickly because of his great love for her.
However, on the wedding night, after the festivities and under cover of darkness, Laban brings Leah instead of Rachel to Jacob's tent, where the unsuspecting groom consummates the marriage. Only in the light of morning a few hours later does he realize what Laban has done.
The culture of that day dictates the norm, Laban explains; the younger daughter cannot be given in marriage before the firstborn. But Laban assures Jacob that he can also have Rachel once the wedding week is over, provided he renders another seven years of labor.
Jacob doesn't hide the fact that he loves Rachel more than Leah. Thus begins a life of rivalry, jealousy, competition, and manipulation, between the two sisters, not to mention their maidservants who are also somehow drawn into the arena and end up mothering four of Jacob's twelve sons.
It is easy to judge Leah for causing all this mess, but of course we don't. We know that it was probably not her idea but her father's. She may have been simply dragged into agreeing with Laban's deception.
In truth, Jacob had brought it upon himself. He is reaping the fruit of the seeds of trickery he had sown in his own life. It is the consequence of generational iniquity as well; both Abraham and Isaac's life stories also contain chapters of deception and misrepresentation of truth.
Tender Eyes, Tender Heart
Many of us can relate to how painful it must be for Leah who always had to walk under the shadow of her sister, who was "beautiful in form and appearance." The only compliment Leah receives is to be described as having "delicate" or "tender" eyes.
But that simple description of Leah touched a soft spot in my heart.
The eyes are really the windows to one's soul. Sadness, grief, jealousy, greed, and a host of other human emotions - like joy, gladness, and sincerity, are seen through the eyes of the person. This I know to be true without exception. We can never fabricate the expression on our eyes. My mother used to tell us that if a person cannot look at you straight in the eyes, then it is an indicator of insincerity or wrong motives. Or fear of being discovered.
So Leah's tender eyes are an indicator, right from the very start, of the tenderness of her heart.
Unloved, but Favored
Reading the story about the two sisters again, I couldn't help but think that Rachel's inner character may not have been as beautiful as her external appearance after all.
The Bible speaks of God's compassion. When He saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb, while Rachel remained barren.
She may have been unloved here on earth, but it doesn't mean that she was not loved in heaven. God's favor was on her.
Seeking Solace, Finding Comfort
The names that Leah gives her seven children also show the true condition of her heart. She had to live with always being second best, overshadowed by her younger sister. So in the pain of her rejection, she sought comfort from, and solace in, God.
The names Leah had chosen for her sons show the progression of her faith.
The birth of her first three sons reveal her aching and longing for the love of her husband.
Reuben - means See, a son! - The LORD has seen my affliction, and has given me a son. (Gen. 29:32)
Simeon - means Heard - Because the LORD has heard that I am unloved, He has given me this son also. (Genesis 29:33)
Levi - means Attached - Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons. (Genesis 29:34)
Leah's heartache is not soothed even after three sons are born. But something is happening in her heart. While the fourth child is being formed in her womb, a change comes over her. Maybe a deep realization that no matter what she does, Jacob will never love her the way he loves Rachel.
I don't think she gives up hopes of someday winning his heart, I believe she just stops doing it in her own strength. So the fourth son is born and she names him Judah, which means Praise. Now I will praise the LORD, Leah declares. (Genesis 29:35)
Now I Will Praise the LORD
The story of Leah is actually our own story. Pain, struggle, rejection, and disappointment are a normal part of our human existence. The Fall guarantees that at some point in this life, hearts will break, dreams will be shattered, and tears will fall.
It is how we respond that determines if we move forward or remain stuck in our setbacks. The way we handle the painful seasons of our lives will ultimately define the kind of persons we become at the end of our lives. Tender-hearted, appreciative, and joyful... or demanding, resentful, and unforgiving.
The Bible account says that after Judah is born, Leah stopped having children.
She had finally come to terms with her painful reality. For the first time, peace reigned in her heart in the midst of her circumstances. Now I will praise the Lord, Leah tells herself.
It is an admission that she had come to the end of her efforts and had begun entrusting her situation to the Lord.
This is the part of Leah's story that I am most familiar with, the birth of her fourth son, and the significance of the name she gave him. This is the point where she stops struggling and begins to simply rest her case before God.
She found fulfillment in her God instead of striving to be fulfilled by the man whose love she sought and longed for.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Leah came to the realization that although her husband never loved her the way she wanted to be loved, the Lord her God kept showing her that she was loved from heaven.
With Judah's birth, she began to delight herself in the Lord. Now I will praise the Lord!
She put God in the center of her pain, and allowed God's love for her to define her, speak truth to her.
As she did so, God began to gradually heal her... making her beautiful from the inside out.
God on the Throne
I have thought of how different Leah was in the way she clung to the Lord from the very beginning of her struggles. Rachel, after seeing how Leah was having one baby after another, became envious and demanded of Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die!" (Genesis 30:1)
In this declaration, we see how Rachel had made an idol out of Jacob, putting him in the place of God. She was not content that she was the woman Jacob loved above all. Her heart was eaten up with jealousy because of her barrenness. Jealousy eventually leads to death; it causes us to shrivel and dry up deep inside. It sucks the life out of us.
And so Rachel's womb remains closed. In desperation, she gives her maidservant Bilhah to Jacob, in hopes that this woman would bear the children she herself so longed to have. Bilhah gives birth to two sons, an event that Rachel sees as a vindication of her plight.
The domestic bickering and jostling for Jacob's attention continue, but I believe Leah has already found her peace. When she gives birth to her fifth son, she names him Issachar, meaning recompense or reward. A sixth son is born soon after, whom she names Zebulun, which means dwelling.
With the birth of Leah's sixth son, her hopes are revived that the time will come when Jacob will eventually dwell with her. Meanwhile, she dwells secure in her Lord.
She gives birth to her seventh child, this time a daughter, and she names her Dinah, a Hebrew word that means justice.
Leah holds on to her faith in God, and never gives up. Rachel, on the other hand, continues to cling to worthless idols, going so far as to steal the family relics when the time came for Jacob and his family to leave Laban for good.
Rachel eventually gives birth to a son, Joseph.
Rachel's firstborn remains Isaac's favorite son and rises to prominence in God's redemption story after being sold as a slave by his brothers. Joseph is also the one to whom the birthright is given, not to Leah's firstborn, and he receives a double portion of the inheritance when his two sons Ephraim and Mannaseh are each given a full portion.
Leah's Children: A Prophetic Picture
Nevertheless, looking at the seven children of Leah, we see a prophetic picture of God's creation and redemption timeline. Levi is the tribe of priests to whom was given an important role of service and worship in the tabernacle in the wilderness, and later on in the temple. His name means attach or to bring near, describing the crucial role of the priests to bring near the people to God, and to be a kind of connection between God and man. The Levite anointing today refers to an anointing for worship, which rests powerfully on many, individually or corporately, who are called to minister to God in the area of worship leading, singing, and playing musical instruments to usher in His presence.
The life of Leah's fourth son, Judah is steeped in a series of ungodly choices. His act of deception and immorality results in the birth of two sons by his own daughter in law Tamar. Yet Judah has his own redemption story. And in the brothers' encounter with Joseph, who became the vice-governor of Egypt at the time of the famine, we see how Judah had risen to his own dignity and authority. He was a man who chose not to remain in the mire. He had become a man transformed. And God chose Jesus to be born from the lineage of Judah, through his son Perez. It is significant to note that Perez means breaker, breach, or breakthrough.
Issachar, the fifth son of Leah, was the progenitor of the tribe described in 1 Chronicles 12:32 as men of David's army who understood the times and knew what Israel ought to do. Today, we walk in the Issachar anointing when we intuitively know and understand the prophetic significance of the times and the seasons that we are in.
How It All Ends
Back to Rachel. She gives birth a second time, but it is a difficult childbirth, and in her last moments, she names her son Benoni, meaning son of my sorrow. Jacob, whose heart has been changed by his long years of struggle, renames their son, Benjamin, son of my right hand.
Jacob loved Rachel up to the day she died, and certainly beyond that.
But it was Leah who walked with Jacob when God was already shaping his character to be an Israel. Israel means a Prince with God, a name-change that happened after Jacob wrestled with God at his deepest point of need, begging to be blessed. This was also the moment of Jacob's redemption from being a cheater, schemer, and manipulator to assuming the royal status that God had long conferred upon him.
With Rachel out of the picture, we can only arrive at the conclusion that Leah finally sees the answer to her prayers, she now has her husband all to herself. It is in their final years that they learned to worship God together as husband and wife.
We hear nothing more of Leah, except in Genesis 49:29-31, where Jacob, knowing the end of his sojourn here on earth was near, gave final instructions for his burial.
...and there I buried Leah.
Jacob had buried Leah in a place of honor, together with the rest of his ancestors, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah. And that is where he wished to be buried, beside her... not beside Rachel.
I can hear the tenderness with which he said his last words. Tears come to my eyes as I write these lines.
A woman scorned, had become a woman honored. In her brokenness, she chose to be a worshiper of God, and she was rewarded for her faith.
My Prayer
Below is my heartfelt prayer as the month of August comes to its beautiful end.
My Father, what a lovely surprise this is, to receive a fresh understanding of the work You have done in the life of a woman broken by hate, unlove, jealousy, and rejection.
It speaks powerfully to me, because in many ways, I have walked through my journey as a Leah, carrying the weight of uncertainty, yet unable to do anything about it in my own strength.
You have encouraged me today, as I came to understand your work of redemption and transformation in Leah, an assurance that You are doing the same thing in the countless Leahs of this world.
You inspire me to hold on to You in worship, looking to You for fulfillment and completion, not to anything this world can give, not anything my own hands can produce or accomplish.
This time I will praise the Lord. Together with Leah of old, I say those words, with victory, with assurance!
My life is in Your hands.
In Your purposes I dwell secure. You tell me who I am, and it is the worth You assign to me that defines me, that gives me value.
Yes, this time I will praise You, Lord!
An Unexpected Trip
I arrived back in Manila on the 14th of this month. It was a trip I was not intending to make at this time, but when the idea was dropped into my heart a few days before July ended, I realized that Abba Father was the One prodding me to do so.
Everything fell smoothly into place. The date was set, the ticket purchased, and I arrived in Manila on a Sunday morning. Perfect planning. After a leisurely breakfast, I was able to attend the 11 a.m. worship service at Victory QC on Katipunan Ave. together with my daughter Obedient One, and her maid (whom I have named Servant Heart).
I am always thankful for the opportunity to have some quality bonding time with my dear daughter, reconnect with friends, and to spend time in my father's home, the lovely home where I spent my teenage and early adult years, some of the happiest years of my life.
A Pleasant Surprise
The week I arrived, I was finishing the book on brokenness by Nancy de Moss. One week later, a pleasant surprise turned up. A friend's blog post inspired me to take a closer look at the life of Leah, Jacob's first wife.
All these years, I had assumed that Rachel, being Jacob's first love and favored wife, was the main character in the story. Leah's role was that of a disgruntled woman suffering from jealousy and unrequited love. Or so I thought. I never bothered to check if my assumptions were based on truth.
This past week I studied the life of Leah. By looking at her from a different light, my efforts were rewarded with many fresh insights.
Paddan Aram Revisited
Her story is well-known. Jacob appears at his uncle Laban's doorsteps in Paddan Aram, running away from his brother Esau, and in need of a means of living to support himself. He meets Rachel and falls in love with her. In exchange for seven years of work, Laban promises to give him Rachel. The years go by quickly because of his great love for her.
However, on the wedding night, after the festivities and under cover of darkness, Laban brings Leah instead of Rachel to Jacob's tent, where the unsuspecting groom consummates the marriage. Only in the light of morning a few hours later does he realize what Laban has done.
The culture of that day dictates the norm, Laban explains; the younger daughter cannot be given in marriage before the firstborn. But Laban assures Jacob that he can also have Rachel once the wedding week is over, provided he renders another seven years of labor.
Jacob doesn't hide the fact that he loves Rachel more than Leah. Thus begins a life of rivalry, jealousy, competition, and manipulation, between the two sisters, not to mention their maidservants who are also somehow drawn into the arena and end up mothering four of Jacob's twelve sons.
It is easy to judge Leah for causing all this mess, but of course we don't. We know that it was probably not her idea but her father's. She may have been simply dragged into agreeing with Laban's deception.
In truth, Jacob had brought it upon himself. He is reaping the fruit of the seeds of trickery he had sown in his own life. It is the consequence of generational iniquity as well; both Abraham and Isaac's life stories also contain chapters of deception and misrepresentation of truth.
Tender Eyes, Tender Heart
Many of us can relate to how painful it must be for Leah who always had to walk under the shadow of her sister, who was "beautiful in form and appearance." The only compliment Leah receives is to be described as having "delicate" or "tender" eyes.
But that simple description of Leah touched a soft spot in my heart.
The eyes are really the windows to one's soul. Sadness, grief, jealousy, greed, and a host of other human emotions - like joy, gladness, and sincerity, are seen through the eyes of the person. This I know to be true without exception. We can never fabricate the expression on our eyes. My mother used to tell us that if a person cannot look at you straight in the eyes, then it is an indicator of insincerity or wrong motives. Or fear of being discovered.
So Leah's tender eyes are an indicator, right from the very start, of the tenderness of her heart.
Unloved, but Favored
Reading the story about the two sisters again, I couldn't help but think that Rachel's inner character may not have been as beautiful as her external appearance after all.
The Bible speaks of God's compassion. When He saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb, while Rachel remained barren.
She may have been unloved here on earth, but it doesn't mean that she was not loved in heaven. God's favor was on her.
Seeking Solace, Finding Comfort
The names that Leah gives her seven children also show the true condition of her heart. She had to live with always being second best, overshadowed by her younger sister. So in the pain of her rejection, she sought comfort from, and solace in, God.
The names Leah had chosen for her sons show the progression of her faith.
The birth of her first three sons reveal her aching and longing for the love of her husband.
Reuben - means See, a son! - The LORD has seen my affliction, and has given me a son. (Gen. 29:32)
Simeon - means Heard - Because the LORD has heard that I am unloved, He has given me this son also. (Genesis 29:33)
Levi - means Attached - Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons. (Genesis 29:34)
Leah's heartache is not soothed even after three sons are born. But something is happening in her heart. While the fourth child is being formed in her womb, a change comes over her. Maybe a deep realization that no matter what she does, Jacob will never love her the way he loves Rachel.
I don't think she gives up hopes of someday winning his heart, I believe she just stops doing it in her own strength. So the fourth son is born and she names him Judah, which means Praise. Now I will praise the LORD, Leah declares. (Genesis 29:35)
Now I Will Praise the LORD
The story of Leah is actually our own story. Pain, struggle, rejection, and disappointment are a normal part of our human existence. The Fall guarantees that at some point in this life, hearts will break, dreams will be shattered, and tears will fall.
It is how we respond that determines if we move forward or remain stuck in our setbacks. The way we handle the painful seasons of our lives will ultimately define the kind of persons we become at the end of our lives. Tender-hearted, appreciative, and joyful... or demanding, resentful, and unforgiving.
The Bible account says that after Judah is born, Leah stopped having children.
She had finally come to terms with her painful reality. For the first time, peace reigned in her heart in the midst of her circumstances. Now I will praise the Lord, Leah tells herself.
It is an admission that she had come to the end of her efforts and had begun entrusting her situation to the Lord.
This is the part of Leah's story that I am most familiar with, the birth of her fourth son, and the significance of the name she gave him. This is the point where she stops struggling and begins to simply rest her case before God.
She found fulfillment in her God instead of striving to be fulfilled by the man whose love she sought and longed for.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Leah came to the realization that although her husband never loved her the way she wanted to be loved, the Lord her God kept showing her that she was loved from heaven.
With Judah's birth, she began to delight herself in the Lord. Now I will praise the Lord!
She put God in the center of her pain, and allowed God's love for her to define her, speak truth to her.
As she did so, God began to gradually heal her... making her beautiful from the inside out.
God on the Throne
I have thought of how different Leah was in the way she clung to the Lord from the very beginning of her struggles. Rachel, after seeing how Leah was having one baby after another, became envious and demanded of Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die!" (Genesis 30:1)
In this declaration, we see how Rachel had made an idol out of Jacob, putting him in the place of God. She was not content that she was the woman Jacob loved above all. Her heart was eaten up with jealousy because of her barrenness. Jealousy eventually leads to death; it causes us to shrivel and dry up deep inside. It sucks the life out of us.
And so Rachel's womb remains closed. In desperation, she gives her maidservant Bilhah to Jacob, in hopes that this woman would bear the children she herself so longed to have. Bilhah gives birth to two sons, an event that Rachel sees as a vindication of her plight.
The domestic bickering and jostling for Jacob's attention continue, but I believe Leah has already found her peace. When she gives birth to her fifth son, she names him Issachar, meaning recompense or reward. A sixth son is born soon after, whom she names Zebulun, which means dwelling.
With the birth of Leah's sixth son, her hopes are revived that the time will come when Jacob will eventually dwell with her. Meanwhile, she dwells secure in her Lord.
She gives birth to her seventh child, this time a daughter, and she names her Dinah, a Hebrew word that means justice.
Leah holds on to her faith in God, and never gives up. Rachel, on the other hand, continues to cling to worthless idols, going so far as to steal the family relics when the time came for Jacob and his family to leave Laban for good.
Rachel eventually gives birth to a son, Joseph.
Rachel's firstborn remains Isaac's favorite son and rises to prominence in God's redemption story after being sold as a slave by his brothers. Joseph is also the one to whom the birthright is given, not to Leah's firstborn, and he receives a double portion of the inheritance when his two sons Ephraim and Mannaseh are each given a full portion.
Leah's Children: A Prophetic Picture
Nevertheless, looking at the seven children of Leah, we see a prophetic picture of God's creation and redemption timeline. Levi is the tribe of priests to whom was given an important role of service and worship in the tabernacle in the wilderness, and later on in the temple. His name means attach or to bring near, describing the crucial role of the priests to bring near the people to God, and to be a kind of connection between God and man. The Levite anointing today refers to an anointing for worship, which rests powerfully on many, individually or corporately, who are called to minister to God in the area of worship leading, singing, and playing musical instruments to usher in His presence.
The life of Leah's fourth son, Judah is steeped in a series of ungodly choices. His act of deception and immorality results in the birth of two sons by his own daughter in law Tamar. Yet Judah has his own redemption story. And in the brothers' encounter with Joseph, who became the vice-governor of Egypt at the time of the famine, we see how Judah had risen to his own dignity and authority. He was a man who chose not to remain in the mire. He had become a man transformed. And God chose Jesus to be born from the lineage of Judah, through his son Perez. It is significant to note that Perez means breaker, breach, or breakthrough.
Issachar, the fifth son of Leah, was the progenitor of the tribe described in 1 Chronicles 12:32 as men of David's army who understood the times and knew what Israel ought to do. Today, we walk in the Issachar anointing when we intuitively know and understand the prophetic significance of the times and the seasons that we are in.
How It All Ends
Back to Rachel. She gives birth a second time, but it is a difficult childbirth, and in her last moments, she names her son Benoni, meaning son of my sorrow. Jacob, whose heart has been changed by his long years of struggle, renames their son, Benjamin, son of my right hand.
Jacob loved Rachel up to the day she died, and certainly beyond that.
But it was Leah who walked with Jacob when God was already shaping his character to be an Israel. Israel means a Prince with God, a name-change that happened after Jacob wrestled with God at his deepest point of need, begging to be blessed. This was also the moment of Jacob's redemption from being a cheater, schemer, and manipulator to assuming the royal status that God had long conferred upon him.
With Rachel out of the picture, we can only arrive at the conclusion that Leah finally sees the answer to her prayers, she now has her husband all to herself. It is in their final years that they learned to worship God together as husband and wife.
We hear nothing more of Leah, except in Genesis 49:29-31, where Jacob, knowing the end of his sojourn here on earth was near, gave final instructions for his burial.
I am to be gathered to my people; bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite, in the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephron the Hittite as a possession for a burial place. There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife, there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife, and there I buried Leah.... And when Jacob had finished commanding his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed and breathed his last, and was gathered to his people.
...and there I buried Leah.
Jacob had buried Leah in a place of honor, together with the rest of his ancestors, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah. And that is where he wished to be buried, beside her... not beside Rachel.
I can hear the tenderness with which he said his last words. Tears come to my eyes as I write these lines.
A woman scorned, had become a woman honored. In her brokenness, she chose to be a worshiper of God, and she was rewarded for her faith.
My Prayer
Below is my heartfelt prayer as the month of August comes to its beautiful end.
It speaks powerfully to me, because in many ways, I have walked through my journey as a Leah, carrying the weight of uncertainty, yet unable to do anything about it in my own strength.
You have encouraged me today, as I came to understand your work of redemption and transformation in Leah, an assurance that You are doing the same thing in the countless Leahs of this world.
You inspire me to hold on to You in worship, looking to You for fulfillment and completion, not to anything this world can give, not anything my own hands can produce or accomplish.
This time I will praise the Lord. Together with Leah of old, I say those words, with victory, with assurance!
My life is in Your hands.
In Your purposes I dwell secure. You tell me who I am, and it is the worth You assign to me that defines me, that gives me value.
Yes, this time I will praise You, Lord!
A timely song of worship... Scandal of Grace.
