Water from Bethlehem's Well

So the three mighty men broke through the camp
of the Philistines,

drew water from the well of Bethlehem that was by the gate,

and took it and brought it to David.

Nevertheless he would not drink it,

but poured it out to the Lord.

-2 Samuel 23:16

During the Life Revision retreat that I attended in Rasa, Switzerland several years ago, Hans taught us many valuable spiritual lessons. One of them was the importance of doing a regular spiritual inventory.

It is often true that what is going on in the external realm of our lives is also usually an indication of what is happening in the inner realm. It is important to make a regular "location statement," that is, to observe the current circumstances surrounding our lives, and asking God to enable us to link it to what was taking place inside of us at the same time.

At certain points in the four weeks that we spent in Rasa, each one of us was asked to give a location statement, and then to share how that external event connected to an inner condition of our heart.

This spiritual lesson has proven to be very helpful.

Le me share this example. One Saturday a group of us went on a long hike from the small village of Rasa up to Pizzo Naccio (Italian for peak of Naccio), another portion of the Swiss Alps which was 1,306 meters above sea level (Rasa was 898 meters above sea level). Equipped with our packed lunch and a canteen of water, we went on our way. None of us had ever been there before, but there were signs along the way which were quite easy to follow.

On the way up to Pizzo Naccio

I'm not used to going on long hikes, much less up steep mountain sides on very narrow trails, and had I known beforehand how difficult it was going to be, I would surely have opted not to join the group. But it was too late to back out, and I had to go along. When we got back to Rasa, it was dusk, and past our usual dinner time.

On Alpe di Naccio

Needless to say, it turned out to be a great experience for me. Once we reached the top of Naccio (also called Alpe di Naccio), I had a breathtaking view of Lago Maggiore (Italian for major lake) a famous lake in Locarno, the southern part of Switzerland. Part of this lake was also in Italy. From this vantage point, I also saw how far we had travelled that day, almost 400 meters on foot!

View of Lago Maggiore from Alpe di Naccio

Going back down was much easier than going up; it was, however, more tricky. We had to move slowly as the paths were quite powdery and littered with dry leaves in the summer. One could very easily slide over the steep sides of the mountain!

In one session that week Hans, our spiritual mentor, asked me to give a location statement.

I shared how I found going up Pizzo Naccio to be a new and difficult experience for me, but it led me to the highest place I had ever reached in my life, and from there, I saw breathtaking views. Reaching the top also gave me the perspective to see how far I had hiked up winding and narrow mountain paths just to get to that point. I also narrated my experience about going down -- how much easier it was, but how dangerous it could prove to be, if I wasn't careful.

That same week in Rasa, I realized that I was growing very close to God, much closer than I had ever been before. I felt that He was showing me many deep things about His heart that I had never seen before. But it was only after Hans asked me to give my location statement did I learn to link my external circumstances with what was happening deep inside me as a person.

I understood in a graphic way that there was indeed a relationship, a connection between the external and the internal realities of my life!

From the beginning, God always asks His children to give a "location statement." After Adam ate of the forbidden fruit, God asked him, "Where are you?" And after Cain murdered Abel, God asked him, "Where is your brother?" From that simple teaching I learned the value of listening to God as He asks, "Where are you now?" Unless I watched and observed what was happening around me, I could not pray effectively, neither could I grasp what was going on in my life in the heavenly realm. I would not be able to connect with what the Father is doing, simply because I wasn't paying close attention.

--0--

Recently, I saw the need to take a spiritual inventory by looking at the external events of my life.

At about the same time that a thief broke into our flat about three weeks ago, I felt that there were precious relationships in my life that the Enemy was attempting to steal and destroy. God wanted to call my attention to an inner reality through this unfortunate event.

Those who are close to me know that I am a "people person" -- I value relationships. I take great care in affirming my loved ones, and go out of my way to show them I care.

One relationship that has really warmed my heart is a friendship that I have with a dear pastor and his wife who live in Manila. It all began in 2002 when they travelled to our church to attend a seminar that we were conducting.

Events were orchestrated by the Lord and we found ourselves working together in a ministry that aims to bring healing to emotional and spiritual woundedness in families. The friendship grew, until we reached the level that we could freely speak to one another about what was on our hearts without fear of rejection or offense.

Whenever I was in Manila, we would make it a point to visit, and update each other about what the Lord was doing in our lives, as well as other personal things.

There are just certain friends that are really so special, bringing a delight to your heart each time you see them.

This couple were that kind of friends to me. We keep track of one another's life journeys. We call each other "kingdom friends." Our friendship has reached a special level where we value one another's spiritual insights. Whenever I pour out some of my concerns, I know that tender caring hearts listen and understand. We pray for one another.

I don't have many friends like them.

The night before I was to leave for Thailand last year, they even went out of their way to treat me to a special meal in lovely Ortigas Center, an upscale business and shopping area in Metro Manila. With this couple were a few others in their church who had also become dear friends of mine.

All the months that I have been here in Thailand, we would send email back and forth, exchanging views, opinions, insights, and words of encouragement.

Then something happened.

I wasn't directly involved at the start. But because I was sent a copy of an email they had written to someone else, I thought that my opinion was welcome. Thinking we were on "that" level of friendship, I wrote a couple of letters in response to what I received. Freely I poured out what I felt, and what I thought...

And while there has been graciousness in the succeeding letters to each other, I still feel a stab of pain in my heart. Details cannot be elaborated on here, but I feel that my heart has been robbed of something so beautiful and so valuable.

I'm sure this isn't true, but somehow I feel that some of my precious pearls were left in a muddy ditch.

I never intended for it to turn out this way. Nobody can really be blamed. Underneath the topical messages were more powerful relational messages that have somehow been misunderstood. It's even possible that my dear friends also have their own share of pain and disappointment over this experience that they have not shared with others.

Recent developments made me feel that while other relationships which were similarly threatened had somehow been resolved, I ended up being left out, holding my broken heart in my hands.

I don't really know how to describe what I'm going through. I have asked them to forgive me, and I'm sure they have. But I don't think they have an idea of what's happened to my heart.

On the surface both sides want to let the matter rest. It is a closed chapter.

But is it, really?

I have been grieving silently the past weeks, and ever since an intruder broke into our flat I had been seeing a similarity in the pattern of events surrounding my life.

Sharing what I feel with my husband, I told him, "What I don't want is for everything to simply move on with this big gap in the middle not being properly addressed or dealt with.

Ernie's simple words of wisdom were, "You've spent enough time on that issue...time to let go of your idealism, and give yourselves space."

How true... but what he said wasn't really the kind of comfort my heart was looking for.

At a certain point last week, I cried out to God and told Him that I didn't know how to undo, or how to mend, what has been broken. I asked Him to break through for me.

And He did.

Three days ago, while I was having my devotional time with Jesus, my Savior broke through my pain, and poured a healing balm on my heart.

I was reading 2 Samuel 23:16, where David refused to drink the water that his three men had risked their lives for. David's reason was noble, saying that he could not bring himself to drink something so precious.

Then comes Oswald Chambers' thoughts on that passage.

What has been like water from the well of Bethlehem to you recently-- love, friendship, spiritual blessing?

... at the peril of your soul, you take it to satisfy yourself, Oswald Chambers continues.

You must sacrifice it, pour it out, do with it what common sense says is an absurd waste.

God was addressing a deep issue in my heart, and I got the message loud and clear.

Nothing more needs to be said about it.

I will move on. The friendship is not really broken, God simply wanted to purify the relationship and elevate it to a higher level. We are entering another season.

This is the prayer I wrote in my journal:

Father, I lay this friendship, and all the pain of disappointment, unmet expectations, feelings of rejection, false relational messages... down at Your feet. I will not hold on to it, Lord. I pour it before You now.

And thank You that You see my heart. I only want to obey You, and make sure that nobody else shares the throne. Let me never seek affirmation from the wrong source, or to quench the deep thirst of my soul by drinking water from the wrong well.

Thank You for opening my eyes. There will be no little gods in my life, be it a friendship, an experience, or a spiritual blessing.

You alone are my God. Let no thief ever steal the place that belongs to You alone.