Autumn: Letter to Mari

November 25, 2007

Dear Mari,

Autumn is such a beautiful season!

Many people love this time of the year, and I do, too. For me, this is a season filled with meaning. But I find spring to be just as beautiful, and as meaningful. For me they are twin seasons: spring completes what autumn begins.

I have gone through autumn seasons time and again. It is a recurring theme in my life. I suppose that the wise Father knows what is best.

When I was just a new Christian in early 1974, I remember praying this to Him, "Lord, I don't want to be a half-baked, mediocre born-again child of Yours. I want to follow after You whole-heartedly. Whatever You want for me, I want it all and nothing less; and whatever You don't want for me, I don't want it either."


And so it has been that through the years of my Christian life, I can see that God has continually brought me answers to this prayer. Autumns that I have gone through in my life were stripping seasons -- just like leaves falling, one by one, until the tree was bare. And in the autumns of my life, the stripping process has never been easy.

(Photo: Leafless Tree in Maejo Campus)

Fall brings with it a certain melancholy air, because it is a reminder of dying. In the stripping seasons I have felt like being put in a back burner, like meat simmering unnoticed until tender. Well, in fact that is what is happening inside of me. God is answering my prayer that my heart be made tender for the things that really matter to Him.

Then comes the winter, a seeming death of all that one had hoped for -- but I have come to understand that in winter there is actually so much life pulsating underneath that cold blanket of stillness. Everything is a preparation for spring. It is in spring when all of a sudden life bursts forth.

Indeed, it is true, there is life out of death. Without dying there is no living, without autumn there is no room for the newness of life that spring brings. Without us being stripped of human pride, there is no room for heaven's humility. Without humility, one's heart is full, and there is no room for the fresh, life-giving touch of God.

Yes, my autumn seasons have been humbling seasons when God scrapes off my rough edges, to reveal in my spring seasons, the real beauty hidden beneath the surface.So, painful as it is, I can only accept the pruning process from my heavenly Father. I am a gardener and I only know this too well. Pruning cuts back unwanted growth, and sometimes, even the fair blossoms must fall. What seems a seeming waste to the untrained onlooker, to the expert husbandman, the Divine Gardener, is an act of grace.

Life has not been all that I have wanted or expected it to be, but through it all one thing has been constant, God has been there for me. Pruning, yes, but also giving life. Time and again, God has graced my life with His surprise visits.

I am praying for you dear friend, as the autumn comes to an end, and winter sets in, that all the things that have been seeming losses to you will come back to you in the springtime of your life. You may not have spoken much to me about your life, but I do understand some of your pain, and somehow I also feel that there are still many unshed tears inside your heart....
(Photo: Same tree two weeks later)

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is that passage in Joel: "I will restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten." It speaks powerfully to me, and I pray that it will speak to you as well.

Thanksgiving is a special autumn feast. A time to thank God for the harvest, a time to declare His faithfulness. May you find yourself celebrating the autumn seasons of your life, embracing the pain, preparing yourself for the promise of spring that is just around the corner.


Love,
Lidj