A Divine Repositioning

Early morning dew

Call to Me, and I will answer you,
and show you great and mighty things,
which you do not know.

- Jeremiah 33:3

In Leeland's song Carried to the Table, there is a line that strikes me deep -

And I don't see my brokenness anymore,
When I'm seated at the table of the Lord...

The past days that my daughter and I have been taking communion every night has helped me look at my life from a different perspective.

Ever since my husband passed away, although I would go through each day with a sense of acceptance, at the back of my mind would be a feeling of uncertainty. It is difficult to put it into words.

Outwardly I may project the image that I am okay, and moving on. I have made joy my daily choice, because being joyful is like having a steady supply of oil that makes life so much easier and lighter to live.

God's bringing me to the next level.

I want the image that I project to be the true reflection of my inner reality...for my own sanity, but also for the sake of my family. I am their model, I am their leader.

But if I will be honest, there is still a sense of uncertainty in my life.

My husband was a very secure man, and he always seemed to have the answers - for me, and for our children. He had such a positive outlook in life, always something to laugh about. It would be easy for him to see the humorous side of anything.

I've found myself missing him a lot these past weeks. I miss his laughter, his singing, his companionship, the way he affirms me.

The extremely dry season seemed to be taking its toll on my heart.

And the constant giving out in ministry can deplete, dry up my inner resources if I don't take time to refresh myself.

I am involved in a ministry of deep level healing to people with emotional woundedness.

God has confirmed this call upon my life, that He has equipped me with certain spiritual gifts that He wants me to use -- to speak life and healing to the bride of Christ, especially in these last days.

The healing that we minister is not coming from us .. we are merely the channels, the pipelines through which the Father Himself allows His healing oil to flow.

Thus the basic requirement is that the vessel is always clean and ready for the Master's use.

In addition to this healing ministry, I have also been called upon to be a mentor to certain people in our church.

Living this way has given me such a sense of excitement, seeing God confirm His calling on my life, as He allows me to experience breakthroughs in the lives of the people we have been ministering to.

But, these past days, I have been aware of a deep need to be more secure.

I wrote about having lost a sense of permanence in a recent post. A sense of having been uprooted...displaced.

It is understandable, because there have been too many changes happening in my life, one after the other.

Yes, in ministering to the brokenness of people, I have also become very much aware of my own brokenness.

Isaiah 61 is the passage that specifically describes the purpose of my life:

..to preach good tidings to the poor;
...to heal the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn,
to console those who mourn in Zion,
to give them beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that they may be called trees of righteousness,
the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.

But these happen to be the very things I also need!

Because we have been in this ministry for the past ten years, we have been through many experiences, and have acquired ministry skills hands-on. Most of the things we know were not learned from books, but from actual experience.

And there are times when I seem to know all the answers.

But again, looking inside my heart, I don't really know all the answers!

There really is so much uncertainty all around me, as well.

We are on the brink of the greatest harvest, and the greatest spiritual war ever to be fought is probably just around the corner.

I understand that I am merely experiencing in myself the birth pangs of the end of the age.

If we have counted on our riches and material acquisitions to be the basis of our security, we are quickly finding out that these are shaky foundations.

It would be foolish for us not to consider building a new spiritual foundation, made of solid rock, while there is still time.


For it is true. It does seem that everything around us is shifting. What used to work doesn't work anymore.

What we thought was a reliable foundation has begun to crumble right before our eyes.


We are about to enter into a Valley of Decision, and the preparation required is not a one-shot, overnight thing.

A divine repositioning is needed by us all.


And so with all these going on in my heart, God spoke in a real way to me as my daughter and I began observing the Lord's Supper every night.


These are the words that God seemed to be speaking to my heart:


There is only one secure place - and that is My heart.

There is only one certainty, and that is My love.

There is only one unshakable foundation, and that is Me.

Go with the flow of the shifting that is going on around the world.

The earthquakes, and droughts, and hurricanes, and flooding, and volcanic eruptions and economic transitioning...these are just natural manifestations of what is happening in the spiritual realm.


And as we read the words of Scripture to prepare us to partake of the bread and the wine, symbols of the broken body and shed blood of Jesus on the cross:

This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me...

This cup is the new covenant in my blood;
do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me...

For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup,
you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.

- 1 Corinthians 11:23-26

there is a sense of inner peace that gently comes into my heart.

The bread and the wine...are His tangible provisions for you and me to remember Him, His work of redemption...to fight against the spirit of death that seeks to destroy us from within.

With the bread and the wine before me, I am constantly reminded of my provisions for the difficult days that we are now in! The battle has been won, I am on the winning side!


Yes indeed, as I see myself as seated at the table of the Lord, I begin to sense a new resolve rising inside my heart.

I don't want to live from a sense of lack, or brokenness, or heaviness, or unrealized potential.

Lord, return me to a sense of awe - at what You are doing, in the daily events and circumstances of my life.


So often Satan blinds me - us - and we walk through life blind and unable to experience the heavenly realities that God wants us to walk in.

Healing as my norm...provision and fullness ... these are the perspectives from which I want to view my life!

What a big difference it is when I walk in heavenly sunlight, in fullness of joy...what Francis Frangipane calls "the prayed-for version" of my life! (This assumes of course, that I have been praying!)

I am tired of looking at life from the perspective of what it should have or could have been!

The heavenly reality is what I will hold on to!

The choice is mine to live it, to walk it.

I choose love...

I choose hope...

I choose joy...

What has happened in the past, or what people have done, or not done, is not a statement of my eternal value.

My limitations do not define me...they certainly do not.



The message that Butch Yulo spoke to us in church this morning confirmed the very things God was speaking to me.

He said that life seems to be a great big spinning wheel for us. And if we are merely hanging on to the fringes, the outer rim, then we will find many areas of our lives spinning out of control. What we need to do is draw closer to the center, where there is rest.

In the eye of the storm is perfect peace.

Butch said: The center is where the still point is... and there we will be secure.


My Father, I am tired of living with such a sense of being limited, with fear of lack or not having enough...even with thoughts of missing out on or falling short of the destiny that You have planned for me!

No, Lord, my dear God...today my cup will be filled to overflowing. I will not let the enemy steal what Your son Jesus has died for, and purchased with His own precious blood!

Help me to draw near Your heart, that Still Point, where I can rest secure.

Enable me to do what needs to be done, to re-position myself.

Father Your great riches and power are mine today.

Help me to be like Moses who looked to the reward, the eternal and lasting and incorruptible reward.

Today is not just another day -- it is filled with glorious promise and limitless possibilities!

A bromeliad flower in my father's garden, ready to unfold.
Taken a week ago when I was in Manila.

Note: I am grateful to Matt Guerino who has written a Bible study entitled The Prostrate Life. Going through this study about a week ago did help me shift my perspective!

The Beauty of What I Love

Garden of Grace

by Thomas Kinkade

But what things were gain to me,
these I have counted loss for Christ.
Yet indeed I also count all things loss
for the excellence of the knowledge
of Christ Jesus my Lord...
Not that I have already attained,
or am already perfected,
but I press on,
that I may lay hold of that
for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.
...one thing I do,
forgetting those things which are behind
and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
I press toward the goal for the prize
of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

- Philippians 3:7-8, 12-14

Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.

- Rumi

I arrived in Bacolod City yesterday noon after spending sixteen days in Metro Manila.


Although I was born in Manila, when my husband and I decided to settle in Bacolod City and to make it our home in 1979, one year after we got married, this lovely city has indeed been home to me for the past thirty-one years of my life.

However, the Manila home where I grew up, and where I experienced the love and security provided by my parents, will somehow always be home to me. It will always be a place of many beautiful and warm memories. There is a tranquility in this home that I will never experience anywhere else.

In 2006, a year after she graduated from university my daughter Obedient One chose to work and live in Manila.

After twenty five years of being away from the city of my roots, I found myself returning to Manila often, initially to help my daughter begin life on her own as a fledgling young adult. In the months that followed, however, I would often spend time with my daughter, a few days every month, just to encourage her along, and to provide guidance and companionship as she gets used to living on her own in a big metropolis.

This was what my husband and I decided then. We knew how easy it was to be lost and bewildered in a huge city like Manila, considering that the city where we raised our children is still more rural than urban, laid back, and offers a slower pace of life.

Eventually, all this going back and forth between two homes in two cities has created a gradual change in my heart.

Things were different when my husband was still alive. Each time I would visit my daughter, there was no doubt in my heart - home was where my husband and I lived together.

But these past eighteen months since my husband passed away, there has been a significant shift in my perspective.

It's more like living in a tent now. Each time the cloud moves, I simply pull up the pegs, fold up the tent, and move on.

There is no longer a sense of permanence for me. My suitcase is always half-packed. I have a backpack containing the things I consider my earthly treasures: my travel Bible, my journals, my favorite Schneider pens, the books I am currently reading, my laptop, my iPod, my camera - this is now always beside my bed...ready to be picked up when it is time to travel again.

I now have made many new friends or reconnected with old ones in Manila. There are ministry opportunities there as well. My father's garden is still a welcome place for me to tend and look after. When my daughter comes home from work at the end of the day, we have an enjoyable time, chatting, or praying together...or just doing our own thing.

Once back in Bacolod City, I look forward to being with my family again, my friends from church, the rest of the Family Foundations ministry team.

My home which Worshiper and his wife Chosen One share with me now... First Born and God-given and their son Forerunner who live next door... my two dogs ... my garden ... my books ... my prayer room... are always eagerly waiting for my return.




First Born picked me up from the airport, and upon reaching home, I found God-Given in her kitchen preparing food. Chosen One was in her kitchen, also preparing lunch.

When everything was ready, my two sons, their wives, my grandson, and I sat down to enjoy a sumptuous meal together. There was laughter and joy around the table.

Home is where the heart is...


But, home is also the place where I can take time, where I have enough room and freedom to let my hair down, to look in the spiritual mirror, and deal with some of the issues confronting me.


I read in the news that yesterday was the hottest day recorded in Metro Manila for nearly forty years...a sweltering 38 degrees Centigrade.

After lunch, just a few hours after I arrived, there was a very heavy downpour.

We had expected the rains to come earlier this month but they did not. In the past years, May would be the in-between month. Between the hot and dry months of March and April, and the rainy season that begins in June, this month would usually give us a breather from all that summer heat.

The heavy downpour was a harbinger of better days ahead. There was a cool evening breeze, and it brought comfort, a much needed respite from the sweltering heat.

It was also a good opportunity to think about some of the things that God revealed while I was in Manila.

My spiritual pride, my impatience, unkind thoughts... I hated to admit it but these were some of the things that I noticed growing in my heart the past few days.

I brushed these realizations aside, promising to deal with them once I got back to Bacolod.


Early this morning, I went to my garden to begin some badly needed weeding and pruning. The grass was also overgrown and needed to be trimmed.

But I didn't want to hurry with the job before me. I wanted to do it slowly, thoroughly, and deliberately.

As I removed weeds, trimmed the grass, and cut back all the unwanted growth that I saw... I began conversing with my Father.

The drought had caused some of the frail plants to dry up. But yesterday's rains had softened the earth, and I could tell that my garden was rejoicing and refreshed. Many new leaves had begun to sprout.


I have always looked at my heart as a garden.

Forgive me, Father...I don't like the things that I have seen in my heart these past days.

Let Me tend the garden of your heart, My child, I heard God say to me.


This morning, my garden became a place of communion with the Gardener of my heart.

I know that it is a process, and there are still more things waiting to be done. But as I trimmed the grass, removed the weeds, cut off the dead branches, and pruned the bushes, I asked God to do the same things in my heart.


Soften the ground of my heart dear God,

let the rain of Your spirit fall,

break up the fallow ground...

cut back the overgrowth...


Forgive me, please, please forgive me for my spiritual pride, Father.

Cleanse my heart of the things that crowd You out...

Create an inner space where new things can happen,..

Let Your rains fall and stimulate new growth inside of me.

Cultivate the soil of my heart...

Plant new seeds of humility and compassion...

May it be a beautiful garden that You will love to visit.



My hands were covered with dirt, and my brow was wet with sweat. My body ached and longed for rest.

In just a few hours of hard work, my garden was already transformed.

Yet more work still needs to be done within the next few days, especially now that the rains have come. The same is true of my heart.




This morning's conversation with God not only gave me a feeling of being cleansed and renewed, it also exposed the dark hiding places where the Enemy had planted weeds that took up so much space.

My heart was "defragmented" so to speak, and much space was cleared up for God to plant new things in it.

Thank You for the rain of Your Spirit, Lord.
Help me reach forward
Help me to press on
Decrease while You alone increase...
Make my heart an altar
Where I offer and let go
Of anything that brings glory to myself
but not to You...
Make my heart a secret garden
for You, and You alone.


The Rains Have Come

A picture of my garden taken during the heavy downpour yesterday afternoon.

Breakthrough

This breathtaking cloud and sun ray picture was taken from my garden

May 9, 2010 at 5:30 p.m.
in Bacolod City






...remembering without ceasing
your work of faith,
labor of love,
and patience of hope
in our Lord Jesus Christ...

- 1 Thessalonians 1:3




Patience is necessary,
and one cannot reap immediately where one has sown.

- Soren Kierkegaard




Hope is patience with the lamp lit.

- Tertullian

Choosing a New Leader

On Monday, May 10, 2010, our country went to the polls to choose the fifteenth president of our republic.

Out of nine presidential candidates, Benigno Aquino III, emerged as the sure winner.

Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III

Fifteenth president of the Republic of the Philippines

(read BBC profile on Noynoy here)

Election day of 2010 will go down in history as the first time that an automated polling process was used in our country.

Despite the grim predictions of doomsday prophets and naysayers, trumpeting fears of inevitable failure of elections and the certainty of electronic malfunction, the day turned out to be a brilliant success.

The automation critics conceded they were "absolutely thrilled to be wrong" about their forecast that the automated election system used in the polls would surely bog down.

Intercessors for this nation have been on their knees storming heavens for clean and honest elections. And I believe that God heard our prayers.

I believe that our nation is on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough.

Alejandro R. Roces, one of our country's veteran editorial writers, had this to say in his column on May 13, 2010:

We are surprised at how quickly results were being reported. So quickly in fact, the speed has helped stymie cheating, ballot box switching and result manipulation. We have taken another step forward in our maturation as a democratic nation....

One of the clearest signs of the success of the automated elections came via the Philippine Stock Exchange, which jumped up 3.9 percent on Tuesday....

We are proud of those who worked tirelessly through day and beyond. It was their unremarked hard work, effort and patience that resulted in praise from domestic and international sources alike for our elections....

The Filipino people performed brilliantly. As strange as it is to say, only ten reported deaths is the lowest election death toll in memory. Over 75 percent of registered voters turned out to cast their ballots, an incredible number. The patience they showed in tackling a new system of voting, slogging through heat and long lines was inspiring. From the volunteers to the voters there is much to be proud of today.

The graciousness with which the presidential candidates who were well behind in the polls conceded were honorable acts of statesmanship. Statesmanship, lacking for many years, reappeared. The calls of Richard Gordon and Manuel Villar to rally behind and support the administration of President-elect Benigno Aquino III are worthy responses, and examples of leadership.

The Filipino people have spoken. Our hope is that all involved can set aside campaign differences and work together. It may sound cliche, but fixing the country requires cooperation from all parties. Graciousness in defeat and victory, by all candidates and supporters, will help ameliorate the charged post-campaign political and social atmosphere.

- Roses & Thorns, Opinion, The Philippine Star, May 13, 2010

The success of the recent elections is a milestone for our national life. This event was hardly noticed by the global news agencies, so we deeply appreciate the kind congratulatory statements given us by such democracies as the United States, the European Union, Australia, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom.


Read these beautiful words written by our Foreign Secretary Alberto G. Romulo:

...the Philippines is and has been a practicing democracy for decades.

The exemplary conduct of our people during the elections, especially in quietly queuing for their turn to vote and the statesman-like concession speeches of aspirants for public office, are sterling reaffirmations of people’s deep-seated faith in and commitment to free, fair and participatory democracy, and on elections as the better way to garner mandate to govern.

- from Election 2010 Updates

Renewing Hope

As I write these bloglines, I am back in Manila. I arrived here on Monday, election day, and was an eyewitness to how peacefully the electoral process was conducted in our nation's capital.

As the term of our incumbent president is about to end in a few weeks' time, we have renewed hopes that the next president will do better than his predecessor. We hope that he will do all he can to lift up our nation from the seemingly hopeless mire of poverty and corruption that we are in.

Where there is an opportunity to turn things around, at the dawn of a new day, hope springs back to life.

Hope is the one thing that we as a nation need to hold on to.

The latest statistics put our current population at a galloping ninety-five million. With the many economic issues confronting us, the picture ahead of us isn't so rosy.

This explains why:

...thousands of Filipinos leave for abroad everyday, in hopes of greener pastures overseas;

...thousands of our educated working class opt to work as domestic helpers in Singapore, Hong Kong, the Middle East, Italy, Canada, and other western countries, leaving behind young children and aging parents hoping to earn more money to better their family's future;

...hordes of our promising young men and women have chosen to live as citizens of another nation, turning their backs on the land of their birth, embracing a new culture, pledging allegiance to a new country.

They have one thing in common... they all have lost hope in this nation.

But I, together with countless others, have not given up.




Lighting the Lamp

Unbelief is the opposite of faith, and despair is the opposite of hope. And on any given day, I will still choose hope over despair.

Tertullian, a lay theologian and Catholic writer of the second and third centuries, said that "Hope is patience with the lamp lit."

For me, this simply means that hope is the fire that fuels our patience. Because of hope, we can endure, persevere, and hold on.

When the race is long, a runner will need more than swiftness of foot, or strength, or even stamina. One needs determination, and staying power.

I have nothing against my countrymen who have chosen to leave. It is a personal choice they have made, and for some of them, that path may have been ordained of God.

What saddens me is the fact that many of them are probably missing out on the destiny that God had planned for us as a nation. Many gifts and talents that are in these Filipinos were meant to be used in this country, for nation building, to be history makers and change agents, and for fulfilling the purposes of God in this part of the globe.



And I find myself asking these questions:

Would things have turned out differently if people were willing to wait a little longer?

Would things have changed if only they were patient enough to give God time to act?

Would there have been another perspective, if only they had given hope a chance?



Growing the Fruit

Patience is one of the nine-fold fruit of the Spirit. Yesterday morning, my daughter Obedient One and I were having a conversation about this.

"Cultivating the ground on which the Spirit can grow His fruit is up to us," I told her.

In my younger years, patience was not my strongest point. I was demanding, often expecting the circumstances of my life to go exactly the way I planned it.

But after I turned my life over to Jesus as the Lord of my life, gradually things changed as I realized that the way to be truly Christlike was to give Him room to work out His purposes in me.

And often, although my plans would not turn out the way I wanted them to, the end result would be something far better.

In the waiting rooms of life, my God chiseled off the rough edges of my character. A painful process, but I knew it was for my own good.

I learned to stop complaining, and grumbling when things went wrong.

A few years ago, I made the choice that my priority is to make my heart a conducive place, a fertile ground for the fruit of the Spirit to grow and mature.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Against such things there is no law.

- Galatians 5:22-23

It was not easy, of course.

It still isn't. Because these do not come naturally, nor do they happen overnight.

It is a process, and above all...it is a choice.

No, I told my daughter, it is definitely not easy. But having a goal certainly helps.


God Himself is the model of patience for us. Our God does not give up easily.

He sits as a refiner of silver, He is the prodigal Father who waits for His wayward son or daughter to return home. He waits to grow the fruit.

One of my favorite verses about God's patience is found in 2 Peter 3:8-9

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends:
With the Lord a day is like a thousand years,
and a thousand years are like a day.
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise,
as some understand slowness.
He is patient with you,
not wanting anyone to perish,
but everyone to come to repentance.

Taking Time, Going Deeper

Several ingredients are needed to grow the fruit called patience, but time definitely plays a major role.

It can't be argued. Patience grows in the dark, behind the scenes, away from the limelight. We all know how a fruit that has been forced to ripen before its time ends up losing its sweetness, juiciness, and nutritional value.

In the same way, time holds a prominent position in the shaping of our inner lives.


These past two years I have had many opportunities to visit countless blogs. There is a wonderful blog world out there, men and women with great things to say, people with amazing gifts and abilities to paint pictures with the words they write.

But this I have also observed: many blog writers are in a hurry...

In a hurry to write a blog entry...

In a hurry to read other people's posts....

Now, when one is in a hurry, it is next to impossible to have a meaningful relationship.

But then again, I understand. Maybe that is how most people want it. Maybe in this day and age, the meaning of relationships has been re-defined.

Don't come too near.

And for many people, saying hello and goodbye on Facebook and Twitter works just fine.

I hope I won't be misunderstood. Written words tend to mean different things to different people. Only seven percent of communication is verbal, the ninety-three percent make up the non verbal components - the relational message behind the words, the voice intonation, the body language, to name some of them.


For God, relationship is everything.

That's why God takes time. He does not take short cuts to a destination. God takes us by the winding roads and the scenic routes of life. In this world of microwaves, instant messages, fast foods, and electronic calculators, there are still some things that are best done slowly.

He makes all things beautiful...in His time.

And this is why, at this point in my life, relationships are among the things I value most. I am looking for beauty and depth in my relationships.

It is not easy, especially because the internet age has given relationships a make over... a new face, a new name.

Early enough in my blog experience, I have realized that I cannot survive on the fast track mode of cyberspace. Switching channels by remote control to watch multiple shows on television used to displace me. Surfing the web is worse! I get information overload...and I think my neurons will burn out very quickly this way.

That is why when I visit other people's blogs, I try to stay long enough to read that person's heart. Or go back to visit, and re-read.

And whenever possible, I will leave a comment, praying it will make the blog owner feel valued and honored...and giving glory to the work of the Creator in that man or woman's life.

Doing this will allow me to read only so many blogs a week, but that's fine with me.

It means that more time will be required for me to write a blog post, as there are things on my heart that need to gel and take root before I could even express them in words.

It also means that even if I wanted to, I won't be able to write about too many things, because of limited time. A lot of words will have to be left unsaid, and I have to be content with that.

There will also be less readers visiting my place, because my blog posts always end up being longer than most blogs, and many blog readers often don't have time to stay long.

I certainly have nothing against people with short blog posts. It has been a delight visiting poetry or photography or arts and crafts blogs where not much is written or said.

Different strokes for different folks.

I'm only sharing what I honestly feel to illustrate the point of what I was saying to my daughter.

Everything in life is a choice.

The choices I make will determine the kind of fruit that grows in my heart's garden.

My choices define what I can do, and what I can't.

And one day I strike gold, when I meet another person on the blogosphere who thinks and feels the way I do.

And I wake up to a new day when I hear God telling me new things about Himself.

That He is not in a hurry to give me the things I want, because He's more concerned about building my heart.

He's after the relationship...and as I said before, things as valuable as these don't happen overnight.

And I am convinced more than ever that keeping close to God's heart is the thing I need most.

And I realize that all the praying that we have done for our nation is not in vain.

And God speaks some important truths to our hearts.

He begins to say that it won't be long now. That our nation is on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough.

He speaks hope to my heart that the physical healing I have hoped for all these years is about to become a reality.

The promise I have been hoping for is about to be fulfilled.

Be patient in hope...for I know the plans I have for you...God reminds me.

He ignites my waiting heart with hope that my patience will be rewarded in the end.

But he that endures to the end will be saved...

Blessed is that servant whom his master,
when he comes, will find so doing.

Matthew 24:13, 46

God's calling me to go up another level.

When all is said and done, I realize that God is calling me to put my hope

not in a person,

not in a nation,

not in what my human eyes can see,

not in my human strength and abilities and strategies...

but in One through whom He has chosen to reveal ...

the glorious riches of this mystery,
which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

- Colosians 1:27

God is calling you and me to come up higher.



A song that has really ministered to my heart these past four years is one written and sung by Israel Houghton, entitled Another Breakthrough.

I share it here as a reminder to my blog readers that all is not lost, that hope will pay off in the end.

Another Breakthrough
by Israel Houghton


Another level, another harvest
Another day for You to manifest Your promises
Another moment, another season for a
Breakthrough, breakthrough


A greater level, a greater harvest
A greater day for You to manifest Your promises
A greater moment, a greater season for a
Breakthrough, breakthrough


This is the level, this is a harvest
This is the day that You will manifest Your promises
This is the moment, this is the season for a
Breakthrough, breakthrough
Breakthrough, breakthrough
Breakthrough, breakthrough

A picture of patience:

Banaue Rice Terraces
Mountain Province, Philippines

Hailed as the ‘Eighth Wonder of the World,’ this ‘Stairway to Heaven’ was built by hand by the ancestors of the Ifugao tribe. The magnificent rice terraces are farms built on structurally layered mountainsides. They provide food for the mountain locals, as much as breathtaking scenery for visitors. (photo and info taken from here)





Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart,
and try to love the questions themselves.
Do not seek the answers,
which cannot be given you
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is to live everything.
Live the questions.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

Those Who Sow in Tears...

Cleansing

photo taken from here

Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.

- Psalm 126:5-6

...for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

- Nehemiah 8:10

Today our family is celebrating Mother's Day and First Born's 30th birthday.

What thoughts go through my heart on this special day?


I woke up this morning with sense of joy. Yes, even in the midst of uncertainties, joy is the faithful companion that has helped keep my heart above water.

At 5 o;clock in the morning, I was watering my plants. Ater five months of very low water pressure in our village, with our faucets remaining dry for the most part of the day, the water supply is finally back!

Watering my garden has such a cleansing effect on my heart.

An untended garden is a sign of an untended heart.

My dad used to tell me that. And somehow I have not forgotten it.


The sun had not yet risen at 5 a.m., but already Samantha, my dachshund-Basset hound mix breed faithful eight-year old dog, was out in the garden with me, keeping me company. She would stretch herself on a low portion of the wall, and lay her head on the iron grills, her eyes focused on me.

I was thinking of joy...and at the same time I was thinking of what takes place before joy comes.

Tears and pain and joy... somehow they all go together.

I found myself humming this song that my children and I used to sing when they were small:

I've got peace like a river...
I've got joy like a fountain...
I've got love like an ocean...

Beautiful familiar lines.

But in my heart, I was looking for something more. Not just the peace, or the joy, or the love.

If I'm honest, there's got to be a place for pain, too. And tears.

That somehow made the feeling more complete...and more realistic.




In church today, my friend Ruby was asked to offer a special prayer for the mothers in the congregation. Her prayer moved me to tears.

Her mother's heart has been going through very difficult times these past two weeks. I can't go into details...but we have been praying for her and her husband. We are asking God to intervene in their behalf.

If the past two weeks of her life had been different, she said her prayer would probably be different. I could really identify with what she said.

On mother's day, we read and hear about many glowing accounts about great mothers. But the truth is that being a mother is one of the most important roles in the world, but also one of the most difficult.

A mother's job is often a thankless one. Fortunate is the mother whose children someday realize how much she has done, and stand up to honor her, and thank her!

I am one such mother.

During Worshiper's wedding ceremony last December, he and Chosen One honored their mothers by thanking us for all the things we have done for them.

"Thank you for all the support, for believing in me, for always being there for me, Mama," Worshiper said. He couldn't keep back the tears, the only time during his wedding that he cried.

It was a joyous occasion, but at that point, I had to let my own tears fall as well.

One evening, a few years ago, my first born son came home and found me sitting in the living room, reading a book. He must have been around 24 or 25 years old then. He sat beside me, hugged me, and just out of the blue, told me - "Mama, I just want to thank you for your unconditional love for me." He had tears in his eyes. "You don't know how much your love has brought healing to my heart."

And, my daughter Obedient One, often hugs me and tells me, "I love you gid katama, Mama."

This is an English phrase mixed with a couple of words in the Ilonggo dialect - which means, "I love you very, very, very much, Mom, more than words can express."

Not all mothers are as fortunate. Today, I have a few friends whose hearts are bleeding because of a rebellious son or daughter. A daughter totally consumed with herself, she is blind to the pain of her own mother's heart.

So Ruby's prayer was really beautiful. It was what she called, "a reality prayer." When we are under difficult and painful circumstances, our prayers become more real.

She prayed for strength for mothers, to persevere, to not give up, to focus their eyes on the goal. She prayed for Psalm 91 to be activated and to become operational in our lives. It was quite a touching prayer, especially because I knew just what she was going through.







The message that our pastor Dean Gamboa gave this morning was equally moving. Our church is doing the series entitled "Embracing God," aimed at showing a different aspect of God each week, based on the ten commandments.

Pastor Dean's message on the first commandment is probably the best one I have ever heard on this topic.

The first commandment says:

You shall have no other gods before Me.

- Exodus 20:2

As part of his introduction, he mentioned that we needed to see this commandment in context.

One of the passages he quoted was:

For the LORD’s portion is His people;
Jacob is the place of His inheritance.

- Deuteronomy 32:9

God has considered Jacob (Israel) as His inheritance. He has taken good care of her, carried her to Himself, close to His heart on eagle's wings.

And for their own sake, God wants them to have no other gods aside from Him.

We have seen God's power, how He has saved the Israelites, delivered them from slavery to freedom, from poverty to abundance.

God brings many tests into our lives to purify our hearts, Dean said.

Our heavenly Father knows how easy it is for us to fail the test of prosperity...so He uses the test of adversity...for our own good.

Pastor Dean ended with this short story.

It has been said that the best way to go across a deep river is to carry a very heavy rock on one's shoulders. The heavier the rock, the safer it is.

Carrying that heavy load keeps your feet down on the riverbed, and ensures that you remain steadily on course, helping you to reach the other side of the river safely.

In the same way, God allows trials and difficulties to keep our feet down on the bedrock of our faith...that we may not be swept away by the strong currents that we encounter in our journey.

Today, as I celebrate the 30th birthday of my first born son, I thank God for giving him to me as my son. Being the first born, he will always have a special place in my heart.

And as I celebrate Mother's Day, I am thankful for many things. I thank God for the circumstances of my life that have shaped me and molded me into the mother that I am today.

I thank God for the trials and difficulties that have helped keep me from being swept away by strong currents as I cross my river.

I am thankful for my three natural children, and two new daughters, the wives of my sons. How special it is so to have two daughters added to my own family but who were brought up by other mothers!


As I bring this Mother's Day post to an end, I want to share two quotes:


One is this little poem about mothers written by Chuck Swindoll which was read in church today:

As I walk through the museum of my memories,
I owe you—for your time. Day and night.
I owe you—for your example. Consistent and dependable.
I owe you—for your support. Stimulating and challenging.
I owe you—for your humor. Sparky and quick.
I owe you—for your counsel. Wise and quiet.
I owe you—for your humility. Genuine and gracious.
I owe you—for you hospitality. Smiling and warm.
I owe you—for your insight. Keen and honest.
I owe you—for your flexibility. Patient and joyful.
I owe you—for your sacrifices. Numerous and quickly forgotten.
I owe you—for your faith. Solid and sure.
I owe you—for your hope. Ceaseless and indestructible.
I owe you—for your love. Devoted and deep.

- quote taken from here

This is the kind of heart I want to be known for.




The other quote I'm sharing is one that actually took me by surprise. I looked up the lyrics of the Traditional American hymn Peace Like a River and found this:

I’ve got peace like a river,
I’ve got peace like a river,
I’ve got peace like a river in my soul.

I’ve got joy like a fountain,
I’ve got joy like a fountain,
I’ve got joy like a fountain in my soul.

I’ve got love like an ocean,
I’ve got love like an ocean,
I’ve got love like an ocean in my soul.

I’ve got pain like an arrow,
I’ve got pain like an arrow,
I’ve got pain like an arrow in my soul.

I’ve got tears like the raindrops,
I’ve got tears like the raindrops,
I’ve got tears like the raindrops in my soul.

I’ve got strength like a mountain,
I’ve got strength like a mountain,
I’ve got strength like a mountain in my soul.

Full circle. With that strength I knew I might yet embrace those tears and the pain of that morning and allow the love, joy, and even peace begin to wash over me.

I share this personal story because I know that many of my blog readers, struggling to bring peace to this world, face dark nights of the soul along with times of rage, sorrow, and daily challenges, frustrations and anxieties. Life is easy for no one, and for activists and changemakers there can be additional challenges as we expose ourselves to grave problems and desperate situations and profound suffering we hope to change.

If you sometimes find the challenges too hard to bear, I offer this hymn. It helped me that morning, and I hope it helps you, too.

Zoe Weil, Humane Connection blog

The additional lyrics I saw on this blog came as a complete surprise to me. It somehow spoke of the same things that were on my heart this morning.

As I have shared my heart again on this post, may God touch each person who comes across these lines. May you be richly blessed, and receive hope and encouragement for whatever circumstances you may be facing today.

Goodbye, April...Welcome, May!

View of Sunrise from my bedroom window

at my sister in law's farm house
Taken on May 1, 2010, at 5:30 a.m.




For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous;
you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

- Psalm 5:12

Welcome May!

Each month of the year has a special flavor, and May surely has her own!

For me, May means a respite from the hot summer months of March and April. May is some kind of an in-between month. The rains come in June, but in May, it begins to rain every afternoon. The heat lets up a bit.

I never really thought much about the different months of the year, but ever since I started looking at my life journey in terms of seasons, I realized that each month has a special story to tell!

One passage in the Bible that I love to read is in Revelation 22:1-5

And He showed me a pure river of water of life,
clear as crystal,
proceeding from the throne of God
and of the Lamb,
and on either side of the river,
was the tree of life,
which bore twelve fruits,
each tree yielding its fruit every month.
The leaves of the tree
were for the healing of the nations.

This passage speaks clearly to me that in heaven each month has a special fruit coming from the tree of life! And the leaves of this tree were for the healing of the nations.

So, I say it again: Welcome, May! And your special fruit is surely welcome in my life!

May is the fifth month of the year. The number five has such a special meaning; it stands for grace.

Grace means favor. God has given me so much favor in my life. At many points in my life, God has melted my heart with His graciousness and His kindness. Kindness so undeserved. Unmerited favor. God has sent into my life friends, family members, and loved ones who have been such a blessing to me. That's what God's grace has done for me.

In a little Bible study I discovered on the web, I came across the meaning of numbers in the Bible, and what it says about grace is worth sharing on this post:

Grace means favor.

But what kind of favor for favor is of many kinds.

Favor shown to the miserable we call mercy;

favor shown to the poor we call pity;

favor shown to the suffering we call compassion;

favor shown to the obstinate we call patience:

but favor shown to the unworthy we call GRACE!

This is favor indeed; favor which is truly Divine in its source and in its character...

(Read more in Meaning of Numbers in the Bible: Number Five)

And again, as I say goodbye to April and hello to May, there are so many things to be thankful for.


I boarded my 4:40 a.m. dawn flight to Bacolod on April 30. My original flight back was on May 4, but because of the unexpected death of a beloved family member, I had to rebook my ticket so I could be present at his funeral.

My trip to the airport, time spent at the pre-departure lounge, the airplane ride, and my subsequent arrival in Bacolod City all went so smoothly.

We have all been experiencing unbelievable heat waves the past days ... but when I arrived in my home, I was so surprised to see my garden in full bloom. What a welcome sight!

Later that day, I went with my sister in law Sue to spend the night at their farm. We had planned to attend the funeral of Greg Tingson in Kabankalan City the following morning, and their lovely farm house was conveniently located only a few minutes away from the Tingson residence where the wake was being held.

The overnight stay I spent at Vito and Sue's farmhouse was so comfortable and special! It also gave me a chance to re-connect with dear Sue whom I had not seen in weeks, because I had been in Manila so often these past months.

We went to the wake of Daddy Greg on Friday, the last night before the funeral on Saturday morning. It was such a joy to be with Faith, Greg's second daughter, who is married to Ernie's brother Jun. She, together with three other sisters arrived from the United States just a few days before -- to be a comfort to their mom, and to bury their dad.

Faith and I do not see each other often, but I do love her in a special way. Faith's oldest sister, Grace, is also a very dear friend of mine. Although there wasn't much time to talk to one another, just being there, feeling the love flowing from the steady stream of well wishers and being surrounded by all the flowers sent from all over the country, gave everyone a deep sense of comfort and support.

The flowers did have such a special way of communicating comfort, beauty, and love.

Deaths in the family have a healing effect on anyone who chooses to be touched by it in this way!

The funeral was so special. Daddy Greg was a dearly beloved man, a humble servant of the Lord. He was known as the "Billy Graham of the Philippines," one of the best evangelists we ever hand. Tears just kept flowing down my face during the funeral service. His legacy extends to many generations. His life has surely left a lasting impact on his own family, as well as on many others whose lives he touched.

The day after the funeral, Faith's eldest son, Jay, visited us in Bacolod City. Jay is an American with Filipino blood. He was born and raised in the US, and still lives there with his wife and two young children, so we don't get to see him a lot. He purposely extended his stay just so he could have some bonding time with his aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces. We spent a lot of time together!

As this is my very first post for the month of May, I do want to share a few things that God has been speaking to me about.

Because of Greg's passing away, this quote that he loved touches my heart:

Only one life, 'twill soon be past
Only what's done for Christ will last.

This quote is part of a poem written by C.T. Studd. The rest of the poem is not popularly known, but this little quote shown above is a well-known one.

And Daddy Greg lived it well. He studied to be a lawyer, but God called him to be an evangelist. And to his dying breath, Greg lived his life for Christ. Even as I write these words, tears are streaming down my face. There will never be another man like Daddy Greg in this whole wide world.

(There are many accounts on the web written about his life, but here's one that I invite you all to read, written by Bill Bray.)

Greg and Egla Tingson

photo taken from here

What strikes me about the life of Daddy Greg is the kindness of his heart. He never spoke ill about anyone, and specially never behind any person's back. He would often tell his children and grandchildren that there is always a beautiful side to every person, and that was the side that he would choose to look at.

It doesn't mean that he was naive, or gullible...he just refused to focus on the things about others that would weigh him down.

In his life, Daddy Greg has had his share of disappointment and pain...but his life was marked by joy, and singing, and laughter. He was such a happy soul to be around with! If people put him down, or spoke unkind things about him, he was very quick to forgive.

"If Jesus has already paid for that sin, why should I bother to still to be burdened by it?" was this man's way of looking at it.

Daddy Greg was a most generous man...generous with his time, with his money, with his heart. His children, most of whom are Americans, would often send their dad big boxes of gifts several times a year. But often, the shoes, and the clothes, and other beautiful things would be given away to a poor pastor in the mountains "who needs it more than I do."

I loved Daddy Greg. Whenever I would see him, he would firmly grasp my hand, or give me a tight hug, and smile at me with that twinkle in his eyes.

There will never be another man like him in this life.


The timing of Daddy Greg's death couldn't have come at a better time.

Our country today is at the crossroads of destiny. On Monday our nation go to the polls to choose the next president of our republic. There is widespread corruption, mudslinging, vote-buying, rigged surveys, violence. There are nine persons running for the presidential position, and of course, the implications of this messy set up are obvious. Whoever wins the top post will never get a majority vote.

In the midst of all this, my heart longs to partake of the heavenly fruit for this fifth month of the year. I believe it is a spiritual fruit called Grace.

Kindness. Humility, Compassion. A true servant spirit.

The death of Greg Tingson reminds me that he was a man who had so much of this fruit in his life. He even named his first daughter Grace.

And as I end this post, I am encouraged with a deep resolve to emulate one of the greatest Filipinos who ever lived.

Whether on a national scale or on a smaller, more personal level, we all need grace in our lives.

Because of certain relational messages confronting me these past days, something in me wants to give in to discouragement.

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.

-Psalm 27:13

I would have lost heart.

But holding on to God's goodness... believing in His grace... gives me confidence!

Daddy Greg never lost heart. He lived all the days of his life, believing that he would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!

Dear Father,

Let me not lose heart in the midst of discouraging circumstances. Constantly open my eyes to Your grace and favor that surround me.

Let me be always kind with my words.

Let me be kind with my perceptions of others. Let me be understanding when others are unkind or insensitive.

Let me not have such a self-righteous view of myself, and let me not be quick to pass judgment on other people's actions and motives.

Help me to take good care of my relationships -- always being willing to give people the benefit of a doubt. As long as I know that a relationship is ordained by You, help me to keep my heart open, believing that people can still change over the years.

You can use me to be an agent of change in their lives.

Use me to be a channel of joy, and hope, and peace in the lives of others!

Help me speak the language of love...Your language, dear God.

Help me to keep my accounts current, and to not keep a mental list of what other people have done wrong!

Help me to be forgiving, and not go through life carrying a heavy load of offense!

Oh, dear God, help me to be like Jesus...who like a lamb before its shearers remained silent.

Yes, this is what I truly want - to not be self-focused... causing me to be so protective of myself, or to be so conscious of my "rights".

Dear God, I thank you for the life of Daddy Greg, who even at his death, was used by You to remind me of these very lovely Christlike qualities that we saw in him. I thank You for the quiet impact that he had upon my life.

I pray that the life of this great man will continue to inspire his own children...down to the generations after him.



Below are a few pictures I have taken these past weeks:

Good-bye April...Welcome May!

A photo of the Melendrez bush in my garden, taken in early April.
Just beginning to bud

Sunset over Bacolod City, taken at the roof deck of L' Fisher Chalet hotel.
April 16, 2010

Tata, Trudi, Buddy and me
having snacks at the roofdeck of L' Fisher Chalet
April 16, 2010

Ruby, me, Trudi and Gigi in Makati City, Manila
Taken at Kashmir, a resto that specializes in Indian food!
April 22, 2010

Sunrise above the clouds
taken at 5:11 a.m. as plane was descending towards Bacolod City airport
April 30, 2010



View from my bedroom at Vito and Sue's farmhouse
A part of the fish ponds are seen in this picture
April 30, 2010

My sister in law Faith, with her mom, Egla
taken before the funeral service for Daddy Greg
May 1, 2010

Daddy Greg's casket draped with the Philippine flag,
atop a truck behind which hundreds of mourners
led by the Tingson children and grandchildren walked
all the way to the gravesite

May 1, 2010

Cousins' bonding time
First Born, Worshiper, and their cousin Jay
May 2, 2010

Jay visits the grave of his Uncle Ernie
This is a photo I took of Chosen One and Worshiper with Jay
on May 3, 2010

May has brought in some showers, a wonderful picture of the work that grace does in our lives...

and here are a few grace-filled scenes from my garden, up close:

Euphorbias in bloom

Leafy ground cover growing back after the drought

The Melendrez bush now in full bloom!
May 4, 2010