Expecting the Unexpected

He went out, not knowing where he was going.

Hebrews 11:8

Twenty-five years ago, I was the "ultimate" wife, homemaker, mother, friend, churchworker, Christian.

My home wasn't anything huge or grand, but it was spic and span, the kind that had a place for everything. My garden was well-kept and well-tended. My life was in order. My finances were intact. I have reason to believe that those who knew me secretly envied me.

Yes, I was a perfectionist.

Messes were cleaned up right away. My bathrooms and kitchens were sparkling clean.

I was a stay at home wife and mom because my husband had a good income. I had the great privilege of having household help who lived with us.

Needless to say, in the midst of all this, I also thought I was a "good" Christian. I believe I was kind, humble, dependable, reliable, responsible, approachable, available...name it, I got it! And beneath all this was the subtle, unspoken message to others: "Measure up to my expectations."

There are many other things I could say about the kind of life I used to have.

And I really thought life was all about...ME. Until...

God stepped in and rescued me.


I'll be forever grateful to Him for doing that.

I could have gone through life thinking life was all about me, my plans, my agenda, my home, my family, my ministry, my dreams.

Thank God He loved me too much to let me remain that way. He stepped in and saved me...from myself.

Now, many years later, I've discovered the art of living one day at a time, and genuinely enjoy it.

Sometimes I still struggle, but not for long. There are many days when I can tell myself that the dishes...the windows...the weeding...the re-potting...the new curtains...THE CLUTTER... can wait and I have peace inside.

Slowly, but surely, through the years, I became aware of God's upward call to living an abandoned life.

Abandoned, not the "appearance or image management" kind of life that I used to have.

Oswald Chambers writes:

God makes us as broken bread and poured out wine to please Himself. To be separated to the gospel means being able to hear the call of God. Once someone begins to hear that call, a suffering worthy of the name of Christ is produced. Suddenly, every ambition, every desire of life, and every outlook is completely blotted out and extinguished...

What this means for me is that there are ambitions, desires, and outlook that only served to build my own kingdom, and those were the ones that had to be blotted out. The process is ongoing. And I am constantly asking God to build up and bring to fruition the dreams, desires, ambitions, plans, outlook... that He has planted within me as part of my identity and destiny that He wants me to use to build His kingdom.

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I got a call from my friend Ruby yesterday. She and William are the national coordinators of Family Foundations International-Philippines. Since Craig Hill, the head of the said ministry, is arriving in Manila tonight, they had planned to go to Manila to be with Craig at this time.

It turned out that William had decided not to push through with this plan, for health reasons.

Ruby asked me if I was willing to go with her to Manila to meet with Craig and to be an encouragement to the other ministry teams there that we are raising up. She graciously asked me "if my schedule could be rearranged to include this plan."

A thousand and one things raced through my mind as she spoke. There have been things planned out for every single day on my calendar this week. But I have learned that it is always wise to ask my Father this question, "Is this from You, Lord?" each time a change in plans is needed. And so I did.

There was a peace in my heart, a go-signal for me to go with Ruby to Manila.

We fly out of Bacolod City this afternoon and will be back on Saturday morning.

Somehow, expecting the unexpected has become the norm or standard in my life. Doing so has kept rigor mortis from setting into my heart. It's the only description that I can think of at this point. And yes, I'd rather be prepared for the unexpected than live my daily life on the "business as usual" basis.

It keeps my heart tender, flexible, and above all, undemanding...just ready to live a life abandoned to what the Master asks of me.

When He asks, "My child, do you love Me?"

This is my reply: "Yes, my Lord...You know that I do. Help me to always live my life...in You."