Homestretch

Photo courtesy of Melissa Agustin

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord,

thoughts of peace and not of evil,

to give you a future and a hope.

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me,

and I will listen to you.

And you will seek Me and find Me,

when you search for Me with all your heart.

I will be found by you, says the Lord,

and I will bring you back... (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

It's been about a month since Ernie and I got back to Chiang Mai. We are now in the final stretch of our stay here. Ernie has already declined the President's offer for him to extend his contract for another year after his current one ends on September 30 . Our return tickets for our flight back to the Philippines have been purchased.

So there is a sense of finality and closure. In less than two months we will be going back home "for good." I enclose those last two words in quotes, because the phrase for good is being used from the human standpoint. We are always ready for God's new assignment for us.

What does this mean for me? Looking back to where I was a year ago, I was in a great dilemma. Ernie had just informed me that he was accepting this one year assignment for us, and as I had shared in one or two of my earlier blog entries, I had to literally say "goodbye" to an aspect of my life everyday... just to prepare myself emotionally for the big move. I actually had only about a month to prepare to leave everything then.

Now I am in the same situation of preparing to leave -- but this time, it is much easier. What I am really asking God is to prepare us for re-entry. In less than two months we will be re-entering our family life and culture where surely a different set of experiences await us. I must admit I have some apprehensions.

Ernie is counting the days, but I have always been the more quiet one. Like Mary, I find joy in treasuring the events of my life deep in my heart, and pondering on them little by little. During the different seasons that I've been through, be they difficult or joyful ones, I've learned that each day can be lived from glory to glory, if I just keep my eyes open to discern what God is doing. Yes, each day is a new opportunity for me to move on to the next level of growth.The invitation by Jesus to "'Come up higher" is given moment by moment; the choice to accept it is always within my reach.


I woke up one morning with this thought: God did not bring me all the way here just to hold English classes for the Administrative staff of the President's office in this university.

Well, that's pretty obvious, isn't it? There have been many shining moments of inspiration when I realized that if my husband and I had remained in Bacolod City the past twelve months, things would have been very different for us and for all those with whom we share our lives.

Then, another thought came to my mind: What if God did bring me here just so the President's office staff could have an English teacher who would eagerly and patiently teach them how to speak English for a year? What if I was God's agent in this place for this season, and my assignment was to be at my desk outside the Vice President's office everyday from 9 - 5 and hold classes two hours each weekday, impacting that place with God's presence just by my being there?

How true. On the surface, and at deeper levels, there are eternal reasons as to why God has sent us here. However, the most important thing to remember is that when God gives an assignment, He is only looking for faithfulness and obedience. I didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. Our being here was provided by God to be a time of healing for me and Ernie and for our loved ones. Our absence from family and friends also brought many things into perspective, as far as they were concerned. When we returned home last May for a two-month summer break, we discovered that relationships which we thought had gone sour were somehow healed and restored.

God's hand is never cut short and He heals on many levels. If God has given the human body the ability to heal itself, creating it in such a way that it goes through a remarkable cycle of dying and renewal, then it must be true for our emotional lives as well. Surely, the arena where all our relationships are lived out matters to Him who created us in His image.

The other day, while thinking of all that needs to be done within the next few weeks, including packing, and choosing a reliable forwarder in Bangkok that will ship our stuff, God's gentle voice broke through my thoughts again. "I will help you, don't worry. Have I not been with you all this time? Everything you need will be taken care of."

Even in the mundane, backstage concerns of my life, God wants me to know that He is there. He has already thought of everything even before I was born. I just need to turn the reins of my life over to the One who knows every step of the way. How liberating to know that nothing seriously or unbearably wrong will go with my life.