Walking in the Newness of Life

"Newness of Life"

Photo credit

We turn not older with years, but newer every day.

- Emily Dickinson



...that just as Christ was raised up from the dead
by the glory of the Father,
even so we also should walk in newness of life.

- Romans 6:4



He who finds his life will lose it,
and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
- Matthew 10:39

Today is my 57th birthday.

This has got to be one of the best birthdays I have ever had in my whole life! As I sit here reflecting on the events of the past few days, I am still asking this big question:

What have I done to deserve this kind of birthday?

There was such an outpouring of love and kindness and affection and generosity and thoughtfulness... my cup runs over!

Again, I ask, dear Lord, what have I done to deserve it?

I know it's a funny question to ask... In asking it, I may sound like someone with such a low view of herself, or worse, someone with a very low self esteem, incapable of receiving love from others.

But really I am neither. These past years, one of the best things that God has done for me was to heal me in this area. But more on this later.

It's just that all the things that have been done for me the past days still make me wonder.


This is my second birthday without Ernie. And I have realized that this birthday is so different compared to the one I had last year.

Last year, I remember celebrating the day with a tinge of pain, a sense of loss. There was joy as well as hope to be sure, but with Ernie having been gone only five months, the joy was not complete. There was someone missing.

Today I realize that my joy was full to overflowing. I was missing my husband, remembering how he would always want to make my birthday so special to me in his own quiet way.

But there was no more pain.

I experienced first hand the truth of this passage from Psalm 30:5:

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Yes, that is exactly how I felt... the joy... the song, has come back into my life!

So this birthday was just so special, and all my friends and loved ones made me feel so loved and appreciated.

I feel like God is turning my mourning into dancing, and my loss into gain...very much like what the prophet wrote in Isaiah 61:3 -

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

It was a week long celebration.

Last Sunday,March 21, Obedient One and I already had a birthday lunch in Manila.

On Wednesday, the 24th, my cell group had a birthday party for me. All of them brought gifts, and spoke words of blessing to me.

On Thursday, the 25th, the Women's Ministries group of our church, the Women of Purpose, which meets for lunch one day a week, also had a birthday luncheon party for me, and another lady, Mayang, whose birthday was on that very day. Again, there were many gifts and words of blessing for me.

Yesterday, Friday morning, my close friends (we call ourselves the Moms in Touch) treated me to a buffet breakfast at the Business Inn in downtown Bacolod. The six of us belonging to this group met weekly for many years to pray for our children during their growing up years. My best friend Melanie was returning to the US on the 27th, so we decided to get together yesterday.

This morning, my beloved ministry team, the Family Foundations International - Philippines came over to my house for breakfast. They brought everything - the breakfast fare, the fruits, the coffee, even the disposable plates and cups! We call ourselves the FFI Family, and of course, this name is so appropriate.

After having ministered together for many years, we do feel very much like a family, deeply bonded in love and unity. It doesn't mean that we never have conflicts, but I believe it is in the willingness to go through hurts and pain together that we have understood what it also means to walk in healing with one another!

This evening was the special time our family had set aside to celebrate the joint occasion of my birthday and the second wedding anniversary of my son First Born, and my daughter in "love", God Given. We went to Twist, a beautiful restaurant at the Sugarland Hotel located in the southern part of our city.

The food was delicious, but above all, the warmth of family love just melted my heart.

Indeed how good and how pleasant it is when brethren dwell together in unity!

Tomorrow the 28th, my British friend Trudi will treat me to a special birthday breakfast.

On Monday, the 29th, my sister in law Sue and her family will have a special party at her house in my honor. Her daughter has just hired a new chef for their university, and this will be his first opportunity to "impress" all of us with his culinary skills! Sue has named this party Asian Galore.

So this, in a rather big nutshell, is a description of how this year's birthday has turned out for me.

The best thing I can do is to receive this 57th birthday, with grace, with humility, with open hands!

And as this day ends I want to speak these words of gratitude to my Father in heaven:


Dear Father,

With open hands, I receive this day unto myself.

I have asked you again and again, what have I done to deserve this?

And I hear you say...

"My daughter, you have sowed love, and therefore you are reaping a harvest of love!"

Oh yes, this is really true dear God! And I therefore receive back into my heart Your blessings of love...

Love in its many forms of expression: Acts of kindness, words of affirmation, tangible gifts, quality time, hugs and kisses, text messages, cards, email, even birthday wishes coming from blog friends, people I have never met face to face and yet, they are God's gifts to me as well!

I receive myself back, I receive my healing, I receive this year as my turn around year!

Truly you have turned my sorrow into gladness. You are a great and generous God. No one could ever outgive you!

And the words of James 1:17 ring true in my heart:

Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:17

Thank you, thank you dear Father. Thank you for your gifts of grace for me on this my special day!

Birthday dinner with Cell Group Wednesday, March 24

Birthday lunch with Women of Purpose
Thursday, March 25

With birthday cake, "Frozen Brazo de Mercedes"

Breakfast at Business Inn with Moms in Touch
Miriam, Melanie, me and Jing
Friday, March 26

Another picture of Moms in Touch
This time, Eileen is also in the picture

Birthday breakfast at my house with FFI Family
In the picture, the food is nearly all gone!
Saturday March 27

Another picture of the FFI Family, in my living room
after they released blessings to me

Matthew and his Nana
Birthday family dinner at Twist, Sugarland Hotel
Saturday, March 27

First Born and God Given
celebrating their second wedding anniversary!

Here's the whole family after dinner
March 27

Some of the gifts I received:



A birthday card from my one and only sister:

It's so good knowing

that even though time brings many changes to our lives,
the wonderful friendship we share is for always.
Every year I'm a little more grateful
for everything we share,
for the memories between us. the good times ahead of us,
and the special place you will always have in my heart.
Love always, your sister

A lovely card and book from my best friend, Melanie:

The God of the Suddenlies

Petals unfolding at the dawning of a new day.

I took this picture at Nest Chiang Dao, Chiang Mai, Thailand
in January 2010. Click on photo to enlarge.
You will see the folds very clearly. Amazing!




¹⁶ This is what the LORD says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,

¹⁷ who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:

¹⁸ "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.

¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up;
do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland..."

- Isaiah 43:16-19


And suddenly there was with the angel
a multitude of the heavenly host
praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace,
goodwill toward men."

- Luke 2:13-14


And suddenly there came a sound from heaven
as of a rushing mighty wind,
and it filled all the house
where they were sitting.

- Acts 2:2

After spending thirteen days in Manila, I am back in Bacolod again.

It was truly a profitable two weeks for me.

Apart from conducting two Ancient Paths seminars for two consecutive weekends, I enjoyed the time I spent with my daughter Obedient One and reconnecting with some of my friends there.

Another important accomplishment for me while I was in Manila was the repainting project of the exterior walls of our house that our maid and I began.


There were also specific messages that God spoke to me.

As I had shared in some of my recent posts, our islands have been experiencing a severe dry spell the past months.

With the heat reaching 42 degrees on some days, something that rarely happens here, some towns in our province have asked to be put under a state of calamity. It has been reported that agricultural loss due to damaged crops and farm animal deaths now amount to millions of pesos.

And I have sensed the dryness not only in the spiritual realm around me, but within my own heart as well.

Send down the rain of your presence and your favor, dear God... I have cried out to God on several occasions.

My birthday is just a few days away. And somehow I sense a stirring deep inside, some kind of a momentum...that something is in motion... and I am about to be propelled into a higher level of my life.

Last week, on my way to the church where the two day Ancient Paths seminar was going to be held, I was having a private conversation with the Lord.

The year 2009 for me had been twelve full months of adjusting to the many new roles I was in.

I was a new widow, a new mother in law, a new grandmother.

My sister in law had also offered me a position at the university, and for that I needed to pursue higher education.

Because I was traveling so often the past year, I never was in my Bacolod home long enough to really focus on the things that I wanted to finish.

Living out of a suitcase seems to be the new normal for me.


As I looked out the window of the car I was riding, I saw people on their way to work. Men and women in corporate attires driving the latest models, obviously on their way to their workplaces where deals were waiting to be closed, and transactions ready to be finalized.


What about me, dear Father? What am I becoming?

If I want something to happen, should I not be preparing for it already?

Am I on the right track, Lord?

I don't really want to keep on talking about my husband's death, but somehow, that is where it all started. When someone who has been used to having a strong pillar to lean on, and a guiding light to follow suddenly finds herself alone and making major decisions alone...

On most days I don't really feel like I'm lost, or struggling, or fumbling in the dark.

No, it has not been like that at all.

These past months there have been remarkable moments of peace...strength... joy....hope.

Knowing beyond a shadow of doubt that God is very close, and keeping watch over me.



But it was one of those days when the clouds were grey, the future seemed so uncertain. I felt like I was in a tunnel, and I needed to know if I was going in the right direction.

What about me, Lord? Am I going the right way? I asked my heavenly Father again.


Then a gentle voice spoke: I am the God of the suddenlies.

A familiar voice, but it really took me by surprise. Probably because I wasn't really expecting God to say anything to me. I actually believed that my questions, my doubts, would eventually fade, that the light would once again shine... and the clouds would clear up.

There was a whole team waiting to be trained, and a group of participants expecting to receive their breakthroughs. I would somehow manage to say the right words, and at the end of the day, I knew everything would have turned out beautifully.

That was what I thought.

Because that is what usually happens. Even when there is no earthshaking revelation, things do turn out well. People do get healed. Clutter is removed, and things fall into place. Issues are resolved, forgiveness is released. There is a sense of order being restored.

Underneath it all, there was really a sense of excitement in my heart. I believed that it was not going to be just another day of ministry.


I just wasn't prepared for God to speak so specifically!

I am the God of the suddenlies, do you understand what that means?

Of course I knew what it meant.

Burning bush.

Red Sea.

Water from the rock.

Jordan River.

Tongues of fire.


Things happening without precedent, without warning. Suddenly, there is light. Suddenly, there is life. God speaks things into being, and they come into existence.


I am the God Who makes all things new, do you understand what that means?

Again, I knew what it meant.

It meant that I was never to rely on previous experiences, expecting things to happen the same way as before. Because God wanted me to depend on Him alone, never on myself.

Ministry skills acquired through the years were needed, but past victories had to be placed under the cross. My cup had to be emptied, ready to be filled anew...

Even hurts and offenses had to be poured out at His feet, never to be accumulated, piled up and rehearsed.

God isn't in the recycling business, He is into creating, and re-creating... calling forth things that are not, as though they were!

I understood what He was saying. He wanted me to know trust at a deeper level. Learning to wait for Him to act. Offering to Him a fresh heart, an empty cup.

Just because something is happening suddenly doesn't mean He hasn't thought it out. In fact, God has it all prepared, and He has it all planned out.

Then there will be a manifestation...a breakthrough...a revelation.


And God is looking for those who are prepared to obey, and to listen to His voice, and to walk with Him down a different road.

God is building sensitivity in those who are willing to learn to do it His way.

Feel His touch. Hear His voice. See what He sees...not as the rest of the world sees.

We are entering the season of the suddenlies...and when the cloud moves, God wants to know that we are ready to move with Him.

God is pouring new wine, and He will pour them only into new wineskins that are still soft and willing to be stretched.

Behold I am doing a new thing, do you not perceive it?

Do not let it catch you by surprise.

Look at your life from My perspective...for you have not passed this way before.


I was not prepared for what God spoke to me that day, but I needed to hear what He said.


I love how Russel Durose puts it:

The “suddenlies” of God are wonderful.

They come with promise, that is, we are assured of God’s faithfulness, but we are never prepared for the WAY God will do it! (emphasis mine)

It was good to be back home. Worshiper and Chosen One picked me up at the airport, then the three of us had lunch at Cafe 1925, a quaint roadside restaurant in Silay City.

But somehow I feel that it won't be long before I embark on another assignment again!

This afternoon, for the first time in many months, there was a sudden heavy downpour in our city. There was a surge of joy in my heart as I listened to the sound of badly needed rain!


I firmly believe we are living in the generation of the return of Christ, and yes, we all need to be prepared for the season of rapid change.


Here are a few pictures taken over the past few days:

The ministry team for the March 11-12 Ancient Paths
Pearlie, Sheryll, Rosinni, Ruby, William and me
Manila, March 11

Lunch at Circles at the Shang, Makati with our friend Gigi
March 12


Lunch at the Thai Kitchen with my cousins Noly and Nora from Canada.
The last time I saw them was on their wedding day in 1975.
March 13

Lunch at Cyma Greek Taverna with my friends Tina and Rosemarie
March 17

We visited and prayed for our friend Donna who was in hospital for severe abdominal pain
March 17

Enjoying my time with my daughter, and her mini schnauzer, George

My friends Pastor Joey and Ut at whose house we stayed during the days of the seminar
March 20

The ministry team for the March 19-20 Ancient Paths
March 20

The participants of the Ancient Paths at Alabang New Life Christian Center
March 20

Greek yogurt after a sumptuous lunch for an early celebration
of my birthday together with my daughter Obedient One
March 21

Back in Bacolod City, with my new daughter in law Chosen One
at Cafe 1925 this lunch,
after they picked me up from the airport.
photo was taken by Worshiper
March 24

The Broken Places

And He took the bread,
gave thanks and broke it,
and gave it to them, saying,
"This is My body which is given for you;
do this in remembrance of Me."

~ Luke 22:19



...his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man
and his form marred beyond human likeness...

~ Isaiah 52:14



The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise.

~ Psalm 51:17

You have fed them with the bread of tears,
And given them tears to drink in great measure.

~ Psalm 80:5

Because in the school of the Spirit
man learns wisdom through humility,
knowledge by forgetting,
how to speak by silence,
how to live by dying.

~ Johannes Tauler

Because we live in a fallen world, we will always encounter brokenness in many aspects of life.

This, of course, is not how God planned or intended it.

His original intention was peace and harmony, beauty and love.

Sickness...greed...fighting... were not part of His divine blueprint.

It was the Tree of Life that God planted in the middle of the garden.

Death was never in the picture.

But Adam and Eve rejected the tree of life, and chose instead to eat of the fruit of the other tree, the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Death entered our world.


However, in God's ultimate wisdom, what the enemy meant for evil God has turned around as an instrument for healing and restoration.

Jesus gave death a new meaning by experiencing it in order to redeem His fallen creation; He defeated it, and rose victorious from the grave.

Through the resurrection of Jesus, we know that death will not be around forever. There is a coming day when death will cease to hold such power to bring pain into our lives...and life will reign supreme...for all eternity!


I could never put into words all that is in my heart about this beautiful topic of death, brokenness, humility, disappointment, failure, and tears. A subject matter so profound deserves to be treated with honor and respect.


Indeed, brokenness is one important aspect of my life that I will always be thankful for.


Today I celebrate my 32nd wedding anniversary.

Because Ernie is no longer here on earth, there is no celebrating in the real sense of the word...nevertheless it is still a special day to remember.

Today I thank God for the thirty years of our lives that my husband and I spent together.

And I thank Him for these past sixteen months of my life without Ernie. During these months, I feel like I have grown so much...learned so much...realized so much!




There is nothing like going through grief..

We all experience pain in varying degrees...pain over disappointments, hurts, losses. Broken relationships, unmet expectations, injustice, the end of a dream.

But I must say that grief over the death of a loved one is the deepest of them all.

What amazes me is the realization that during these months that I have grieved, it seems that I have also received so much healing. How can it be... that in my grieving, I discovered a level of healing I never experienced before?

I've seen what it means to be lost, and yet feel secure in God's arms.

Have so many questions, and yet have peace as an anchor in my soul.

Many times felt like being on a dark, lonely road... yet I have seen the bright light, both at the end of it, and guiding my every step!

So much more...but they just can't be put into words.

I have never cried as much as I have this past year. And yet, in the shedding of the tears, God seemed to be washing over the broken, wounded places of my heart.

My grieving process has made me feel like I am a new person. Cleansed. Restored. Renewed.

Grief is the one pain that heals all others. Grief is the most important pain there is. (Henry Cloud and John Townsend, in How People Grow)

How true.

Ken Gire, one of my favorite devotional authors, has this to say about tears:

In each tear is distilled something of eternity, something of love and compassion and tenderness, all things that originate in heaven and come to earth as a sacrament to the soul, if only I am willing to take and to eat.

The closest communion with God comes, I believe, through the sacrament of tears.

Just as grapes are crushed to make wine and grain to make bread, so the elements of this sacrament come from the crushing experiences of life.

So much is distilled in our tears, not the least of which is wisdom in living life.

From my own tears I have learned that if you follow your tears, you will find your heart.

If you find your heart, you will find what is dear to God, and if you find what is dear to God you will find the answer to how you should live your life.

From Windows to the Soul

In embracing my brokenness, facing the broken places of my life, I have become better able to understand the brokenness of other people...

helped me to be in touch with my own inadequacies, shortcomings, and failures...

and enabled me to be kinder, less demanding, more appreciative.

Admitting my own inabilities helps me to choose which battles are worth fighting, and to willingly put down my defensive weapons when needed.

As I remember the day I was married 32 years ago, and realize that my loving husband is no longer by my side, I cannot thank God enough for allowing me to go through the brokenness of grief.

Grief has been a patient, loving teacher, and a faithful healer as well.

An important part of my healing is being able to say that there is a time to mourn, and a time to laugh.

The intensity of grief lessens with each passing day although the lessons it has imparted to me are deep and long lasting. I can now detach myself from my grief, and look at it in a more objective way.

Indeed, one has to be well acquainted with grief to learn how to be detached from the desire for recognition or self-gratification, the longing to be esteemed or elevated in the eyes of men.

Jesus was said to be

...despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;

Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.

- Isaiah 53:3-5

It would do us well to consider these passages!

It was in the bruising, the wounding, the chastising...the acquaintance with grief...that Jesus purchased our peace and our healing!

Brokenness is the great equalizer. In the face of pain both the prince and the pauper stand as one.

It is also the best means by which our Creator sifts out the temporary from the eternal in our lives...

However, as in every lesson God wants to teach us, a right response is required.

Many spend their entire lives running away from pain, shielding themselves, or shrugging it off, pretending to be strong or unaffected. And pain leaves them untouched, and therefore, unchanged!

What a waste.

I truly believe that it is in the broken places of our lives that we recognize and identify with what Jesus went through...the disappointment, the desperation, the agony! And through our right responses to pain, we experience what someone called the "finding times of God."

Pain softens us, melts our tough exteriors, if we are willing. And the Father is able to redeem us from our intense preoccupation with self, and cause us instead to hunger for more of God, which is what truly matters!



A week before I left for Manila, the university headed by my sister in law gave a testimonial breakfast in honor of a very humble man.

Gen. Victor Ibrado is a Christian man who for nine months, was the chief of staff of the Armed Forces of the Philippines, one of the top military positions in our country.

And yet, as we listened to the many tributes and testimonials given in his honor, on the occasion of his birthday and official retirement from his post, we couldn't help but shed tears at how humble this man had remained in spite of the power and prestige that came with his position.

He gave glory and honor to his God. In his response, Gen. Ibrado said that his stepping down from office is good for the country because it creates room for upward movement.

My heart was deeply touched that morning. Pondering on his simple statement led me to think: brokenness makes self willing to step down and create room in our hearts for upward movement!

A photo of me with General Victor Ibrado and my sister in law, Sue,
taken during the testimonial breakfast in honor of him.

Humility in another person is such an endearing quality. Such gentleness, such grace!


Humility is the trademark of heaven.

Oh, how I pray for the humility of Jesus to be true in my daily walk!

I have often said that pride is the excess baggage that I have had to let go of at many stops in my journey... I need to constantly remember that dying to self is the sure path to humility.



Just this afternoon, I saw this article in one magazine I was reading, and found it worth sharing here:

Dying to Self...

...when you are forgotten,neglected, or deliberately ignored and you don't sting and hurt with the insult, but your heart is happy being counted worthy to suffer for Christ

...when people speak evil of your good, cross your desires, disregard your advice, ridicule your opinions and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving silence

...when you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any annoyance, and when you stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensitivity, and you endure it as Jesus endured

...when you are content with any food, any offering, any climate, any society, any clothing, any interruption by the will of God

...when you never care to refer to yourself in conversation or to record your own good words, or to have people take notice of what you say, or to itch after commendations, it is when you can truly love to be unknown

...when you receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart.

Are you a dead person?

In these last days, the Spirit would bring us to the cross, that we might utter with Paul, "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death."

- Author unknown

Oh Father,

Indeed how beautiful is the body of Christ, broken for me, His blood spilled out... I cannot but help think of how much Your Son went through, gave up His life, just so "others may live."

May I not waste the sorrows and tears that have come my way. Rather, let me be drawn closer to Your heart because of my painful experiences.

Let the broken places of my life give me the desire to step down, and create room in my heart for You!

Thank You that I need not remain in the valley of tears, but experience Your joy as I see the transformation of my own heart before my very eyes -

that my healed wounds may enable me to be an agent of healing in the lives of others...

an agent of healing for the bride, especially as the day of Your Son's appearing draws near...

to the praise and glory of Your Name.



Read the Litany of Humility by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val

In the Time of Favor

Clouds over Bacolod City
March 10, 2010

In the time of My favour I will answer you,
and in the day of salvation I will help you;
I will keep you and will make you
to be a covenant for the people,
to restore the land
and to reassign its desolate inheritances,
to say to the captives, 'Come out,'
and to those in darkness, 'Be free!'

They will feed beside the roads
and find pasture on every barren hill,
They will neither hunger nor thirst,
nor will the desert heat or the sun
beat upon them,
He who has compassion on them will guide them
and lead them beside springs of water.

Shout for joy, O heavens;
rejoice, O earth;
burst into song, O mountains!
For the LORD comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

- Isaiah 49: 8-10, 13

Our country is undergoing a severe dry spell. And we are continuing to ask God in His mercy and compassion, to send us the badly needed rain.

Tomorrow, my friend Ruby and I will be going to Manila to give an Ancient Paths seminar for a special family. We are praying for breakthrough.

When we sought God's heart to confirm if this was an assignment He was giving us, both Ruby and I heard a "Yes."

God spoke to me through the words of Isaiah 49 which I have quoted above.

It amazed me that it was a passage that spoke of rain, rejoicing, bursting into song!

Praise God indeed for this assurance! Indeed, we position ourselves in the paths of breakthrough by obeying.

Thank you for journeying with me, and praying for me, dear friends! I truly appreciate the encouragement and affirmation that you have given me!


Below are a few pictures of my journey these past three months that I want to share with you:

Sakura blossoms in Chiang Mai, Thailand

January 2010

This is me enjoying a big breakfast and a chilly morning at Nest Chiang Dao
Chiang Mai, Thailand
January 2010

Oy and me, at Doy Tung
Chiang Rai, Thailand
January 2010

Gracious hosts, Ut and Oy, preparing a delicious Northern Thai breakfast fare at their home
January 2010

An unexpected treat at the Chiang Mai airport, a Dairy Queen Moo Latte,

while waiting to board my flight back to Manila

Back in Manila, a lovely Sunday afternoon at the Global City with my daughter, my friend Bolet, and her dogs.

January 2010

My tea plant in full bloom, despite the drought!
March 2010

My best friend, Melanie and I, spent this afternoon at Starbucks, our favorite coffee place. In just a few weeks, she will return to the US where she lives.

I took this photo of my grandson Matt just this afternoon.

A photo of my cell group which I took this evening. We meet every Wednesday evening to study God's word.
We started a new series tonight, entitled, "Journey Into Kingdom Secrets."
A deeper look into the parables of Jesus.

The Heart of Worship

Then the LORD appeared to Abram and said,
“To your descendants I will give this land.”
And there he built an altar to the LORD,
who had appeared to him.
And he moved from there to the mountain east of Bethel,
and he pitched his tent with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east;
there he built an altar to the LORD
and called on the name of the LORD.

- Genesis 12:7-9

Today is the first day of March!

I find it hard to believe that 2010 is already in its third month! Wasn't it just two months ago that we celebrated the start of this new year?

This is my birthday month, so there will always be a special place in my heart for March.

And as I write the very first post for this month, I want to share my thoughts on something that is close to my heart.

Worship.

I went to bed last night thinking about what it means to have a heart of worship. Several times during the night I was awakened by these very words: the heart of worship.

There was a special message being downloaded into my spirit. The image of Abraham building an altar kept appearing before my eyes.

My mind was going back and forth to the lines of Hebrews 11.

Hebrews 11 tops the list of my favorite Bible passages. It begins with this famous line:

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

This chapter is often called the Hall of Faith where the stories of the lives of men and women of faith are written, displayed like life-sized photographs to serve as examples and encouragement for us who want to follow in their steps.

Abel...Enoch...Noah...Abraham, to name a few.

One of the things I love about the Bible is that it never presents its heroes in epic proportions, people who never had to deal with doubt or discouragement or wrong choices.

In fact, these so-called heroes do not even start out as heroes. They are ordinary men and women just like us who had struggles and shortcomings. They end up as our models of faith, but only after we have been made aware that they're also made of the same stuff as we are.


We see Abraham's footprints, and we can identify with his fear, his doubts, his discouragement, his attempts to bring about God's promise on his own resulting in an Ishmael, and his attempts to cover up his tracks.

Yet, today we are recipients of the blessings brought about by this man's obedient responses. Abraham has become the prototype, the paragon, the model of faith, extolled as the man with the altar and the tent. It would do us well to learn from him!

Abraham built four altars:

• At Shechem - Gen 12:7
• At Bethel - Gen 12:8
• At Mamre - Gen 13:18
• At Moriah - Gen 22:9

As we read the account of Abraham in the Bible, we will see that in almost every place where he pitched his tent, he also built an altar.

And I have often asked myself which came first - his faith, his obedience, his altar, or his tent.

Somehow, these four are intertwined:

• Abraham believed that the God who gave the promise was trustworthy, therefore his faith was anchored and rooted in God...
• because of his faith, he obeyed, and his faith grew because of his obedience...
• because of his obedience, he was willing to leave his family and country behind, and to live in tents...
• and his willingness to live in tents set him free, and shaped him into becoming an "altar builder," a worshiper.
  

It does seem that certain things need to happen in our hearts before we can become a true worshiper of God.

And some things do stand out in this amazing faith story.

One is that the call upon Abraham was a call to separation. He had to make some hard choices to be separate from those whose faith was weak or were content with a superficial relationship with God.

It is also clear that the fulfillment of God's promise to Abraham was closely related to his life of worship. The waiting period was ordained by God to rid his heart of blockages, equipping him for his crucial role as the father of many nations, enabling him to leave behind a legacy for his future generations.

Abraham's life of faith, obedience, simplicity and worship showed that he took the call and the promises of God seriously!



By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. Hebrews 11:8

Sometime in 1995 God impressed this passage to me, confronted me with it over and over again. I reached the point where I knew I was being asked, being called to go out of the comfortable and the familiar... because He had something better in store for me, my inheritance.

There would be no road maps given for the journey ahead, just a handful mustard seeds of faith, and a heart that was willing to say, "Yes, Lord."

Five years prior to that call, I had entered into my decade of pruning, the start of a season when my husband and I lost almost everything we thought mattered to us. There wasn't really much left for me to hold on to.

I must be honest and say at this point that even relationships we held dear were nowhere to be found. All I had left were my husband, my family, my God...and the school ministry of our church that I headed.

Let it go, God seemed to be saying, referring to my position at the school.

Without knowing what was ahead, I said yes.


The story of Abraham has made such a difference in my life. It was in the obedient, yet painful steps required of me that I discovered the joys of living in a tent and building an altar to my God... And with Abraham as my model, I seriously considered the call to separation, believing that a life of worship was the only fitting response to my God whose promises were completely trustworthy!


It has been said that the names we carry often reflect our identity, and our destiny. My name Lidia literally means "Beautiful Light," but it has an important spiritual connotation that I love. My name also means "Worshiper of God."

I used to say that my name has my job description built into it...but today, I have an even better way of putting it. I no longer look at my name as my job description, but as my calling and my assignment.

To be a worshiper is a lifelong pursuit; there are no overnight changes. It is a moment by moment choice of drawing near the heart of the Father; in everything, to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

The truth is that as children of God, redeemed by the blood of His Son, we are all called to be worshipers of our heavenly Father, the King.

Jesus says in John 4:23-24

But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him.

There is a war that is raging, and we are not to be on the sidelines, but at the battlefront.

With the recent earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, famines, droughts, blizzards...wars and rumors of wars... there is no mistaking the fact that we are living in the end times. Matthew 24 says that these are just the beginning of the birth pangs. Like a woman about to give birth, the birth pains, the contractions, will become more intense, more severe while the intervals between them will become shorter...and then the end will come.


A lifestyle of worship is what each one of us is being called to. God knows, it is the only thing that will help us to endure and overcome until the end, and enable us to stand strong in the heat of the battle.

Because deception and lawlessness will abound in these last days, worship will rid our hearts of distractions, give us a clearer perspective, divert our focus off our selves and fix our eyes on God alone, fill us with sensitivity and compassion, and shield our hearts from offense.

I truly believe that such a lifestyle will be our protection from the dark schemes and evil strategies of the enemy in the end times.



Watchman Nee has such a beautiful term for this kind of life. He calls it "the life of the altar and the tent."

The life of a Christian is the life of the altar and the tent...

An altar calls for a tent, and a tent in turn demands an altar.

It is impossible to have an altar without a tent, and likewise to have a tent without a return to the altar.

Watchman Nee, The Life of the Altar and the Tent

The altar is the place where we worship, where we draw near to God in communion, where we offer our prayers and intercessions. It is our Tent of Meeting, where we go in to meet with God, to pour our hearts out to Him, to listen to Him speak words of life and hear Him tell us the directions that we need for the journey, one step at a time.

It is in this place that we are transformed, where our priorities are weighed, and where our motives are exposed for what they are. It is a place of sifting, and renewal.


The tent goes hand in hand with the altar. It stands for the life of simplicity that we have chosen to embrace. Like Abraham we are asked to make a choice - to leave behind our comfort zones. To live a life that is not centered on self, but on God... that we may not be encumbered by the things and the cares of this world, and learn what it means to live our lives as an altar builder, a worshiper of the One True God.

The altar doesn't have to be a literal physical place, but it helps to have a tangible place to go to - like a special room, or a special spot in our home.

"Living in a tent" helps us to let go of our encumbrances, to value what truly matters, enables us to travel light, to have a lifestyle of simplicity...not weighed down by things and worldly comfort.


But what is it that will motivate us to live a life of worship like Abraham?

Watchman Nee says that:

A turning point in our spiritual history does not come through our decision to do something for God; it comes when we see Him.

When we meet God, a radical change takes place in the life. We can no longer do what we did in the past..

If God appears to any man, the whole course of his life is altered.

Oh, it is not my decision to serve the Lord that enables me to serve Him.

It is not my will to build an altar that produces an altar.

It is when God comes out to a man that an altar is built.

This explains why a person can go to church Sunday after Sunday but never become a true worshiper. Never become hungry or thirsty for God.

And it explains why people can call themselves Christian and yet never have a deep longing for the things that are on God's heart.


It is when God comes out to a man that an altar is built.

It is when we get a revelation of the glory of God that we are forever changed.


These past weeks, God has been impressing upon me, reminding me, that He is not after what I do.

He is after my heart.

He wants me to live up to my holy calling. To be a worshiper, an altar builder.

He wants the same of each one of us.


Father, unveil my eyes, show me Your glory...

Help me to press on, to live a life in pursuit of You!

Unveil my heart, the dark areas there that keep me from beholding You!


Related post: All I Want Is You


I dedicate this post to these five blog friends:

Matt and Amy of Perspective from the Summit and Blessed Descent
Kat of Heart to Heart
Teresa of Too Many Heartbeats
Jennifer of More Than Just Adam's Rib

By dedicating it to you, it means that as I was writing this post, you were on my heart. I pray that as God allows you to go through times of sifting, the eyes of your hearts will be opened to behold His glory, and lead you on deeper to a lifestyle of worship that you have never had before!