Relinquishment: A Journey of Faith

Sunflowers lining the University Avenue
University of the Philippines, Diliman campus

photo taken by Obedient One
April 27, 2013

But I trust in you, LORD;

I say, "You are my God."

My times are in your hands;

- Psalm 31:14, 15

Very truly I tell you,
unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains only a single seed.
But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
Anyone who loves their life will lose it,
while anyone who hates their life in this world
will keep it for eternal life.

- John 12:24-25




Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,
that He may exalt you in due time,
casting all your care upon Him,
for He cares for you.

- 1 Peter 5:6,7




Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Yea, the peace of the infinite peace be with you as you go,
and abide with you always.
Amen and amen.

- from an old Irish blessing

Today the month of April bids us goodbye, never to return. 

A sobering thought. The past thirty days have been entrusted to me by Abba, my heavenly Father... to do with as I please: to spend my days pursuing my own personal goals, building my own kingdom, or to invest the time I have on my hands building His eternal kingdom.

A solemn trust... because I realize that time never really belongs to me. It is a matter of stewardship; a day is coming when I must give account.

This past decade of my life, I got a better perspective on what it means to build God's kingdom. It means being "on call" status, actively waiting to receive instructions from Him on the next assignment... and obeying.

The time comes when I am called to report for active duty, but for the most part, this active waiting involves a heart preparation:

...being in a position of readiness and alertness...

...getting to know the Master's heart...

...equipping myself by understanding kingdom strategies and battle plans.


These assignments are very much a part of my destiny. Discerning the times and heeding the call will ensure I am always moving up to the next level of my Father's plans and purposes for me.

A heart response of obedience is the sure way to receive more revelation... for the days are evil and the enemy is crafty.

And I do take my kingdom destiny seriously, because there is not much time to lose. So this year 2013 is a special one, not only because it is my 60th year, but also because the number 13 stands for "destiny." This is indeed a year of destiny.

At the recently concluded Intercessors for the Philippines National Prayer Gathering, the speakers had one common theme, and that was to contend for the God-given destiny of your family and of your nation.

Just as the Israelites under the leadership of Joshua had to contend with giants before they could possess their promised inheritance, so are we Christians living in the last days required to persevere, endure, and overcome till the end.

The Bible records the lives of men and women of courage who fought the good fight of the faith; however, Joshua is the model I desire to follow in obtaining the inheritance God has given me.

The Lord's instructions to Joshua are quite simple: 

Only be strong and very courageous that you may observe to do

according to all the law which Moses my servant commanded you:

do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left,

that you may prosper wherever you go.

This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth,

but you shall meditate in it day and night,

that you may observe to do

according to all that is written in it.

For then you will make your way prosperous,

and then you will have good success.

Have I not commanded you?

Be strong and of good courage:

do not be afraid, nor be dismayed,

for the Lord you God is with you wherever you go.

-Joshua 1:6-9

With all the conflicting voices and choices around us, it is so easy to lose sight of this, much too easy to give in to the temptation to push our spiritual growth to the bottom of our daily priorities... to be complacent and to be inconsistent.

But if I want to prosper wherever I go, if I want to make my way prosperous, if I want to have good success, if I want the Lord my God to be with me wherever I go, then I know the path I should take.

Of the sixty years of my life, forty have been spent as a born again Christian, a Christ-follower.

God has taught me many things in the journey of faith that began one beautiful day in December of 1973 when I gave my life back to its rightful owner. The day when I promised the Lord my life would belong to Him completely, and He would have my whole heart, not just a part of it.

That initial promise led to higher commitments, and leading me through a path of a deepening relationship with God. Through the years I've come to understand what is required of me to be a kingdom person with a kingdom mindset pursuing a kingdom agenda in my daily living.

It has been a long journey, and it is still continuing. But I already have an idea of how it will end... in fact it will never really end! For the promise is that this life, when I do not aim to keep it for myself, will never be lost, but will be kept for eternity.

In the meantime, I am contending for my own destiny, asking God for His grace to keep me on track, that I might not be derailed by pursuing lesser loves.

I am contending for the destiny of my family, by standing on my authority over them as the spiritual gatekeeper, interceding for them, serving as a guiding light for them to follow.

I am contending for the destiny of my nation, firmly believing in our prophetic destiny and holding on to God's promise that blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord.

And so I continue to write my story.

As I have often said, my story is written not to make myself look good, or to earn the praises of others. I write that it may be a ray of light for others seeking a human example of what it means to follow Christ.

My journey has not been an easy one; my light has grown dim so often. I have been complacent, and  inconsistent. But in my imperfection, and in my weakness, God's strength has been made perfect.

And so I write my story.

That others may not only learn from my mistakes, but also be encouraged where I have been faithful and true.

Henri Nouwen, my favorite author writes:

...what we have lived, we have lived not just for ourselves but for others as well. Writing can be a very creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves and to others. We have to trust that our stories deserve to be told. We may discover that the better we tell our stories the better we will want to live them.

I turned 60 last month. As a special tribute to what my heavenly Father has been patiently teaching me, I have thought of sharing twelve life lessons on this blog beginning with January. As April 2013 comes to an end, I share a fourth life lesson.

It is the lesson of Relinquishment.

Relinquishment is rooted in obedience. One doesn't learn relinquishment overnight. It is a rather difficult lesson to learn because it goes against our natural grain of self-focus and self-interest. But with the Holy Spirit as my relentless tutor through the years, I believe I have learned some. With only a few hours left before the month ends, I am investing several hours to put into words what is on my heart about it.

Relinquishment has come to mean many things to me. And for me, this beautiful character quality is best symbolized by the sunflower. 

I've always been fascinated by sunflowers. They have a rugged beauty, a playfulness, a sense of reckless abandon about them that touches a deep spot in my heart.

April is sunflower season at the University of the Philippines here at the Diliman, Quezon City main campus. About 20,000 sunflowers line both side of the University Avenue, reminding all students and just about anyone driving by, that it is once again graduation season, time to say good-bye to the alma mater that the students have come to love and cherish.

Decades ago, during the term of Dr. Nemenzo, the sunflower tradition began - a graphic exhortation to the graduating batch to bloom wherever they are planted, even under the harshest and most arid of environments. For indeed, sunflowers are known to survive the hottest summer.

Be as hardworking as the sunflower, and continue to spread cheer and joy wherever you go, is the unspoken message that these annuals give to the graduating student.


Indeed the sunflower is a hard working plant, its compound head producing many seeds that provide food for birds, other animals, and even human beings.

This amazing flower is actually a composite of hundreds of tiny flowers.

Sunflower oil produced from pressing its blooms has a number of healing benefits as well.

Sunflowers lining the University Avenue 

University of the Philippines, Diliman campus 

photo taken by Obedient One 

April 27, 2013 

This sunflower tradition is so beautiful, even though it wasn't in place when I graduated from the State University many summers ago, as a young woman of 21.

Nevertheless, I have always loved sunflowers. Because these plants are heliotropic (or, phototropic) the young blooms follow the sun's movement across the sky, from east to west, as if not wanting to miss any single ray of life-giving sunshine. Another tacit lesson from the sunflower: Learn to look at the brighter side of life, and you will bloom and grow.

Personally, what I love most about sunflowers is the sense of reckless abandon with which they display their beauty. They grow tall, no matter what the soil condition is. They survive intense heat. Whenever I visit the university where these sunflowers have somehow become an icon to all its students and graduates, I feel so much joy and hope stirring up within my heart.

Don't take life so seriously, they seem to call out to me. Stop a while, spend a few moments gazing at our beauty, and enjoy a fresh infusion of childlike playfulness.

Sunflowers invite me to live life with a sense of reckless abandon and contentment.

To have a loose hold of the things of this world, whatever heavy burden it is that weighs me down, to cast them at the feet of Jesus, and trust Him with my whole life.

For He cares for me.

These five words sum up for me what relinquishment is all about.

I can relinquish my tight hold on my life for He cares for me.

Craig Hill is one of my best-loved spiritual mentors, and he says it so beautifully: "Fear is resident in the heart of anyone who has not received a revelation of the love of the Father."

The love of the Father comes as a revelation, as a bright light of truth that shatters the darkness of our souls. Until and unless this happens, that soul cringes in the dark, so afraid of not having enough, so afraid of losing one's possessions, money, position... whatever. And that soul will be burdened by worry and fear, so afraid of what the future will bring.

But the Father's love releases us from all that, and enables us to let go, to give up, to trust... and to relinquish our tight hold on our lives.

It has not been an easy lesson to learn, and I willingly admit that I learned this the hard way.

But how liberating it is once we have learned to walk down the bright road of relinquishment. The sun shines on you, the future doesn't fill your heart with fear.

For He cares for you.

On the first day of this month, Obedient One and I boarded our flight from Bacolod City to Manila.

Obedient had arrived in Bacolod City on the day of my birthday celebration, and spent the rest of the week with us. We had a lovely Resurrection Sunday lunch as a complete family, all eight of us - me, my two sons and their wives, my daughter, and my two grandsons, commemorating the day that Jesus rose from the dead.

Because it was Holy Week, the last week of March had been a quiet week of celebrating my 60th birthday, as well as the fifth wedding anniversary of First Born and God-given.

Celebrating First Born and God-given's 5th Wedding Anniversary

First Born Son, Obedient One, God-given, my sister Luli, and Worshiper (Second Born Son)

at the beach, March 27, 2013

With these beautiful events carefully tucked within my heart, I arrived in Manila on April 1, ready to face a new era of my life.

Yes, a new era. It was just two months ago, in February, that God spoke clearly to me that I was coming out of my season of grief and loss and entering my season of replacement.

I did receive and embrace that clear word from my Father, and it has filled my heart with so much hope.

It is, I believe, not just a new season, but a new era.

On April 3, five of us went to General Santos City to do an Ancient Paths seminar with 16 medical doctors. It was a wonderful time of seeing the Lord perform healing breakthroughs in the hearts of these medical practitioners. "We are wounded healers," one of them aptly described their status. So much in need of healing themselves, they often have no choice but to give of themselves, even when so many areas of their lives are still wounded and broken. So it was a privilege for me to have been part of this team that ministered to these people.

Checking in for our flight to General Santos City
April 3, 2013

On April 10-12, I attended the 24th National Prayer Gathering hosted yearly by the Intercessors for the Philippines. Again, it was very meaningful for me to have been a part of this historic event. For me, the culmination of the gathering was on the last day when Pastor Kam Pui of Singapore and his team from Open Heavens Ministry turned over seventeen menorahs to our country. Seventeen is a prophetic number that signifies a new era. 

Pastor Kam Pui did not know that our nation is subdivided into 17 administrative regions. That in itself shows that God was truly at work in putting the desire on his heart to bless our nation with these menorahs. The menorahs were accepted by seventeen prayer coordinators representing each of the seventeen administrative regions of our country.  

Tears welled up in my eyes as the menorahs were lit for the first time by the prayer coordinators. In accepting the menorahs, they were declaring that the light of intercession will never grow dim in every region of the Philippines.

"From this day on, your ministers will not minister in darkness, but in light," was another powerful declaration given by Pastor Kam Pui. 

17 prayers coordinators lighting the 17 menorahs 

It's already the end of the month and I am still in Manila. A health concern has arisen for which I am seeking medical attention. Nevertheless, even in the midst of this recent development, I rest secure in my heavenly Father's hands knowing that He cares for me. In His presence is fullness of joy.

Vincent van Gogh, towards the end of his life, did a series of sunflower paintings in Arles, France in 1888-1889.

Yellow was the dominant theme of these paintings, and he painted his sunflowers as a powerful, emotional rendition of life as he would have wanted it to be.

It is said that Vincent became ill in the last years of his life, always searching for light to shine in the darkness that seemed to envelop him.

"Still Life: Vase with Twelve Sunflowers"

oil on canvas

by Vincent van Gogh in Arles, France

August 1888

photo source 

Vincent's sunflowers reflected the things he was looking for - hope, optimism, contentment - all of which seemed to elude him in his quest for a more meaningful life.

What strikes me about his paintings of sunflowers is the realistic way in which he captures them. Always in vases, never out in the open field, his sunflowers were depicted as having been plucked from their life source. In painting them as such, this very sensitive painter knew that sunflowers, once picked from the mother plant, would quickly begin to wilt, thus communicating the transitory, fragile nature of life.

"Still Life: Vase with Fifteen Sunflowers"

oil on canvas

by Vincent van Gogh in Arles, France 

August 1888

photo source

Yes, Vincent's wilting sunflowers were bright, poignant, and symbolic: sunflowers are beautiful, but once cut off from the life source, their beauty is short-lived; they will eventually die.

This to me is a beautiful picture of relinquishment.

We have life only as long as we are rightly connected to the Ultimate Life Giver, God the Father of heavenly lights, from whom every good and perfect gift comes, and Who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17).



In a nutshell, relinquishment for me simply means letting go of whatever I think I have a right to, or am entitled to, and turning it over to God, for He keeps my life in His hands. It is having the mind of Jesus who did not consider His equality with God a thing to be grasped, but willingly gave it up, and went through a death He certainly did not deserve, and lived a life of servanthood and selflessness. Yet in it all He maintained His dignity and authority. That's the beauty of Christlike relinquishment.

He sums it up in this beautiful passage in Luke 6:27-31:

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.

"Three Sunflowers in a Vase"

oil on canvas

by Vincent van Gogh in Arles, France

August 1888

photo source

In my own experience, I practice relinquishment by:

respecting other people's boundaries and personal space,

forgiving and releasing others for things they have done or not done,

giving others permission to do things differently,

reminding myself that I am not the standard,

cultivating a spirit of humility,

feeding my spirit with beauty and music,

letting go of any sense of entitlement,

living with an attitude of gratitude,

denying a grumbling and complaining spirit any space in my heart,

learning to truly appreciate simple joys,

finding time for solitude,

serving others willingly... with joy and gladness of heart,

keeping no record of good things I have done,

looking to the future with hope,

being content with good enough,

trusting God with my tomorrows.


Relinquishment... a precious life lesson I dearly treasure in this my 60th year, the dawn of a new era in my life, because it was learned the hard way.

And I'm still learning.

My Prayer: Father I want to be rightly connected to you, my ultimate Life Source. In relinquishing my right to run my life the way I want to and the way I planned it, I am acknowledging that You alone know what is best for me. 

I gladly receive the life You want for me. 

You lead me. You guide me, You provide, You watch over my every concern. My path is not hidden from You. You draw me close to You.

For You care for me.

In You I can dwell secure.

His Eye is on the Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav'n and home,

When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free,

For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

"Let not you heart be troubled," His tender word I hear,

And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;

Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,

When songs give way to sighing, when hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Silver and Exact Art Blog: Sunflowers - Vincent van Gogh - 1888


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Sharing twelve life lessons on my 60th year:

January 2013 - Restoration: A Matter of Perspective

February 2013 - Authenticity: A Matter of Trust

March 2013 - Celebration As a Way of Life

April 2013 - Relinquishment: A Journey of Faith

May 2013 - Abiding: The Anatomy of a Birthday

June 2013 - Exchange: My Weakness for His Strength

July 2013 - Divine Appointments: God's Surprise Visits

August 2013 - Worship: Hidden Riches in Secret Places

September 2013 - Longing for Things Unseen: Escape from Reality

October 2013 - God's Favor: A Season of Replacement

November 2013 - Honor: Creating Space