Obedience Is the Key

Mother and Daughter

0il on hardboard painting by Natalia Tejera




You are your child's keeper until she's mature enough to keep herself.

- Laura Ramirez, in Keepers of the Children




Who then is the faithful and wise servant,
whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household
to give them their food at the proper time?
It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so
when he returns.
Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.

-Matthew 24:45-48




And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

- Galatians 6:9

Today is Obedient One's birthday.

Obedient One is my youngest child, and my only daughter. She was born twenty-six years ago today.

One of the greatest joys that a mother can ever have is to see her children grow up into fine and mature individuals - learning from their mistakes, capable of making wise decisions, and able to weather the storms that come their way.

I have made it a point to be with Obedient One on her birthday ever since she moved away from her hometown to work in the big metropolis of Manila almost almost five years ago.

But this year I have opted not to leave Bacolod City because of the birth of my new grandson three weeks ago. Worshiper and Chosen One live with me, and I wanted to be available... to help, encourage and support them as they enter this new season of their life.

When I woke up early this morning to pray for my daughter, the words of Scripture quoted above came to my mind.

Truly this dear daughter of mine has been such a joy to my heart... for she is an obedient girl.

Obedient...faithful...wise...trustworthy.

She doesn't make hasty decisions - she thinks about them, weighing the pros and the cons carefully, praying and asking God for guidance, considers the consequences.

In her growing up years, she always wanted to obey her parents. She has not given us heartaches, and she has not done anything that would be a disgrace to us.

She is a woman of great intelligence and many abilities, but she has remained simple and unaffected all these years.

She has inner strength.

I am encouraged by her kindness and generosity.

Obedient One is a giver.

There are many beautiful and precious stories about this dear daughter that are tucked in my heart...

There are a few I have written on this blog...three of which I would love to share with you today. May I invite you to have a glimpse into my heart for my daughter by clicking on any of these three blog entries:

It Will Take Forever

Another Good-bye

To My Daughter: If I Could


My dear daughter, my Obedient One,

I bless you today dear daughter with divine connections and open doors of opportunity.

As I write these words, it is 5:46 a.m. and the morning songbird has just come to my bedroom window - singing its usual morning song, a message of hope.

I remember how you loved to hear this bird every morning!

So faithfully gracing our lives by its simple cheerful song...just like you.

You have graced and brought a song to my life by what you are.

May God reward you for your obedience and your faithfulness.

Truly you are a trustworthy young woman... and you have known first hand the value of delayed gratification. You are not impulsive, yet you do not withhold good when it it is in your power to give it!

Therefore, I have seen with my eyes how God is promoting you...letting you reach new territories even though you may not be aware of it.

But in due time He will open your eyes to see how far you have gone.

Remember this, obedience is the key to great reward.

Your obedient heart is paving the way for God to promote you and draw you closer to His heart.

You are a wise and faithful servant... God is honored because you fear Him, and you are careful with your words and your actions!

For a young girl like you, living in a huge city, you have kept yourself pure and untainted by the evil that surrounds you.

I have kept praying for God's hedge of protection to be with you every minute of the day, and God has heard my prayer.

May God continue to teach you the many wonderful lessons that He has in store for you...

I am proud of you, and I believe that you are accomplishing the things that God has created you for, one step at a time.

Not many mothers are blessed to have a daughter like you...so I thank God for giving me the joy and the privilege and honor of raising you.

Thank you for the love you have shown me, your brothers, your sisters in law, and your nephews!


With much love always,
Mama

Obedient One with her mini schnauzer, George
taken on Christmas Eve, December 24, 2009

This is me with my three precious daughters - one mine by birth, and two by marriage to my sons - Chosen One, me, God-given, and Obedient One
taken on December 26, 2009

Obedient One and me on New Year's Eve, December 31, 1009

One Blessing After Another

Christmas Lantern

From the fullness of his grace we have all received
one blessing after another. - John 1:16

Pictured above is a special handmade lantern with dancing lights. It was bought by my sister many years ago. I took it out of storage and now it hangs just outside the lanai sitting room of our Manila home. It still looks as good as new!

Almost all homes in the Philippines have a beautiful lantern hanging outside their windows during this season, in eager expectation of Christmas and the New Year.


Welcome December!

It's only been eleven days since the month began, and already there are very many events that have marked my journey for this season.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I went to Manila to be with my daughter on her birthday.

Obedient One turned 25 years old on December 7. Our quiet celebration, just the two of us, proved to be so heartwarming and precious.

Although I often share dates and places in my blog writings, I don't really intend my posts to be a mere chronicle of events. I want it to be a place where I share my feelings and reflections, my insights, and above all, what God is doing!

I'm so glad my daughter and I were able to spend this time together. On Saturday morning she opened her heart up to me about some of the disappointments she was currently experiencing in her work place.

How a daughter needs a mother's willing ears to listen and a heart to understand!

"Change your attitude," I'd told her...

"Be humble."

"Be a life-giver."

And then she'd blurt out, "But Mama, I don't want to do any of those things! I'm not willing, I'm not there yet ... and I just have to ask God's help to make me be like that."

At those points during our conversation I realized that I think and feel differently because I'm already 56 years old. I've crossed many rivers, and mountains, and numerous valleys. God has enabled me to learn the wisdom of the years through difficult lessons learned the hard way.

But I appreciate the fact that she was honest and transparent with me.

And this is what I appreciate the most in our relationship. A few years ago, she told me, "Mom, I never want to leave you in the dark about what's going on inside of me. I never want to lie to you, or pretend to you...or be superficial with you...because my relationship with you is precious to me, and I know I need your wisdom to be my guiding light..."

All a daughter needs is a listening ear...someone who cares, and understands. She is not looking for advice. And if there was anything that my presence did for her that morning, it was to give her a chance to air out what she had been keeping in her heart about her job.

We prayed together, and lifted everything up to the Lord. I know a heavy burden was removed from her heart that day.

I left Manila to return to Bacolod City the day after her birthday. Thankful for the opportunity that God gave us to be together again for a few days.

Just two days ago, she called me to say that there was a turn of events at her office. God had intervened at just the right time. There will be some changes and I know that this is in direct answer to our prayers! The timing of it all is what amazes me about it. How quickly God had responded to my heart cries.

Obedient One and me, on the day before her birthday. Sunday lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, Mary Grace at the Trinoma Mall.

I met up with Obedient One after work on her birthday. Then we had dinner at her favorite restaurant, Pepper Lunch, at Rockwell. She still has that same sweet child-like smile after all these years!

Beautiful Christmas tree at the lobby of Power Plant at The Rockwell in Makati City.

It's hard to believe it's only been eleven days since the start of this month! So much has already happened to fill up my cup of joy.

The world is full of grim news. I'm not in denial.

A blog friend Amrita's recent post was full of insight. She talks about reality in India where she comes from. What she shares is not new to me. We have that kind of situation here in our country as well, especially in the highly urbanized areas such as MetroManila. She shares about high walls with glass splinters on top to ward off intruders with evil intentions.

We have those walls over here, too! And they are effective, but only up to a certain point.

The truth is that such walls cannot really keep spiritual and physical enemies out...

And where Amrita says Jesus is our "Demolition Man," who has died to break down dividing walls, I say that Jesus is at the same time our Wall of Protection, Who keeps us safe from the schemes of the evil one...

be it icebergs floating on their way to Asia...

or the rising water level due to global warming...

climate change...

man's inhumanity to fellow human beings, leading to the merciless massacre of innocent people...



Some of my blog friends are needing God's intervention at this time.

Closer to home, there are a number of family concerns that I am storming the gates of heaven for.

In all these I am quietly believing Isaiah 65:24 where God says, "It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear."

Yes, before the request finds its way to our lips, God has already answered it.

And I am looking up in hope, and trusting God when He declares that

Sharon shall be a fold of flocks,
and the Valley of Achor a place for herds to lie down,
for My people who have sought Me.

- Isaiah 65:10

God is the giver of every good and perfect gift.

"Every blessing You pour out, I turn back to praise!"

The past eleven days for me have been a sure proof of God's goodness, speaking joy, flooding my heart with His message of peace. He has allowed many gifts of grace to come my way in spite of the events that have found their way to the front pages of our news vehicles!

Reconnecting with friends...


My high school batchmates who live in Manila hold their Christmas get together in early December each year. It was a privilege for me to have been able to join them this time!

From kindergarten to fourth year high school, we were together at an all girls' school in Manila run by Belgian nuns. We parted ways at our high school graduation in 1971, and here we are thirty eight years later, still enjoying the same warmth of friendship as we did in our younger years.

Some of us grew up to become doctors, lawyers, bank managers, writers, business women, entrepreneurs, accountants, and some are even already retired. One thing was common, we were all still young at heart! And that night, we had so much fun: giving and receiving gifts, exchanging riddles, playing games, cracking jokes, recalling days gone by. It was indeed a wonderful evening.

Here are a few pictures of our party, held at Candy's lovely home.

Elvie, Tita, Suzanne, me, Susan and Nanett

Vicky, Nanett, Candy, Rowie

High School batch 1971 thirhty eight years later.

An old friend, Phoebe, and I had dinner at a nearby restaurant one evening. After having been out of touch for a long time, we were happy to be reconnected again recently. Phoebe has had significant milestones in her career and profession. She was a nurse and an active member of the Nurses Christian Fellowship when we first met many years ago. Today, she works as a psychologist at the U.S. Embassy in Manila. One of the things that God has laid in her heart for this new season of her life is to share and promote her expertise on cardiac rehabilitation for heart failure survivors.

My friend Phoebe

On my last day in Manila, my good friend Tina and I had our hair styled at a famous beauty salon! Then we had lunch at Mediterranean Cafe, where I was able to once again taste some of the Arabian cuisine that I enjoyed when I was at the UAE a few months ago.

Tina and me at the Mediterranean Cafe

A day after I arrived in my hometown, the Women of Purpose, the women's group of our church, had our Christmas lunch. It was held at Richie and Janina's new home. The warmth of their home is felt as one enters, and has the touch of simple elegance all around.












After our sumptuous meal together, we gathered in the music room to bless one another with a gift and a word of encouragement.

Meet some of my friends from church:

Janina

Elena recently underwent a brain surgery for the removal of an AVM . We are believing for a full and complete recovery for her. Thank you to all my blog friends who have prayed for her.

Marie Rose

Mayang

Ronalee with her son, Miguel

Trude and me

Here's the rest of us: Seated- Rose, Janice, me, Elena, Indang, Arlene
Standing-Marie Rose, Janina, Mayang, April, Jing
Richie, Janina's husband, took this snapshot of us.

Early Christmas gifts... a delight to my heart! God's way of saying, "Your're very special!"

My best friend Melanie who resides in VA, USA, is in town! She surprised me on Thanksgiving week by showing up at my front door with this early Christmas present, a lovely Starbucks coffee mug. She knows that blue is my favorite color, and that Starbucks is my favorite coffee place!

A pink pashmina, a photo postcard, and a homemade card, sent by Gilly all the way from England. I just love pashminas!

Gifts from Donna Butler, sent all the way from upstate New York! She writes beautiful poetry and has compiled them in three journals for reflection and meditation. Donna and I read each other's blogs but we have never met face to face. Visit her website to find out more about her precious poetry journals. I plan to use them at the start of tne new year!

My dear sister sent our family a huge cash gift just a few days ago...because she cares and she knows that we are in for a lot of expenses this Christmas season. And again, this is a welcome gift straight from the heart of God!

And it's not even Christmas yet!

I praise my Father for touching my life in many ways these past eleven days. There is surely more to come!

Out of the fullness of His grace, I have received one blessing after another!

My Prayer:

Thank You, Father, for these early gifts of grace! How I long for the simplicity of that first Christmas. I don't want to celebrate the birthday of my Savior in any extravagant way, but in simple elegance. The grace you have poured out is not cheap, it is precious! I want to hold on to that. Let me not demean or distort the true value of what You have given!

I am choosing to have a favor, blessing, and abundance mindset this Christmas!

Christmas Angels, made of shells and woven native materials. This is the lovely centerpiece on the dining table at my sister in law's home.

Letting Go

Abraham and Isaac

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,
the evidence of things not seen.

- Hebrews 11:1




And without faith it is impossible to please God,
because anyone who comes to Him
must believe that He exists
and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

- Hebrews 11:6

In my recent posts I have shared how my heart has been battered by many concerns -- firstly for my daughter Obedient One who was held up at gun point just outside our home about a month ago, and secondly, the two typhoons that recently left a massive devastation in the northern part of our country.

I arrived in Manila from our UAE trip on September 27 and had intended to stay only two days with my daughter before returning to my home in Bacolod City. But because of what happened to her, I decided it was best to be with her, until her scheduled trip to Cambodia on October 9.

Obedient One and her friends visited Angkor Wat in Cambodia and stayed there for a week. Upon arriving back in Manila, she boarded another flight to Bacolod City to spend time with our family for a few days and to join us for Matthew's first birthday last October 20.

We really had a wonderful time together as a family again, especially as we celebrated my grandson's first birthday, a milestone in his young life.

Obedient One returned to Manila yesterday.

--0--

A good friend of mine, Elena, was diagnosed with an arteriovenous malformation (AVM) near the base of her brain. She was given two options of treatment: gamma radiation, or a brain surgery to remove the malformation, a twisted clump of blood vessels. She opted for surgery, a procedure that is certainly not risk-free. One wrong move of the surgeon's hand and she could lose part of her vision, or worse, be disabled for life.

She underwent surgery the other day.

--0--

Another friend of mine, Lagi, met an accident a week ago. A truck hit the SUV she was driving, and as a result, she suffered a stroke. She is still in the Intensive Care Unit, the left side of her body paralyzed.

--0--

My sister in law Sue also had an accident while she was in the US six months ago. The car they were riding was hit from behind by a speeding vehicle, and Sue, to this day is suffering from neck and facial muscles spasms and intense pain as a result of the impact. She is still undergoing therapy for this, but clearly, the recovery is going to be a slow and painful process.

--0--

One Sunday night last month, on September 20 to be exact, in my hotel room in the UAE, I suddenly found myself overcome with sadness and grief. I was already in bed getting ready to sleep and listening to Jessie Rogers sing Who Can Compare in her beautiful, soulful way.

The feelings just came in unannounced, taking me by surprise. I was filled with such a longing for heaven, my heavenly home, as I found myself singing along with Jessie while she sang the lines... so filled with meaning and hope...


Who can compare to You my Lord,
You're everything that I adore,
and all of my life is in the palm of Your hand...

And all of my heart I give to You,
all that I am and all I do,
who can compare to You?

(Who Can Compare, in Jessie Rogers' Out of the Fire CD)


Tears started falling from my eyes onto my pillow, and I couldn't control my sobs. I really felt so sad, feeling so alone. I missed my husband and realized that after all these months, I had not really grieved his death. There have been so many things happening one after the other from the day he died.

And so I just allowed myself to cry, and to sob, and to just ask the Lord to come and put His arms around me, to comfort me. I asked Him to come visit me. How I really needed to feel His presence.

This went on for hours. There was no tangible holy presence that came, but just allowing the tears to freely fall, and to feel the grief, the pain, the loss... brought about a comfort that I needed to feel at that time.

It just amazes me that it was in this strange land, so far away from home, that my Father chose to let my feelings come to the surface. I was able to offer my pain to Him, and received yet another layer of healing for my heart.

The next day, my heart still felt soft and tender from the encounter that I had with my Father. I treasured the experience, and though the sadness was still there, the comfort was just as real.

Heaven is real. And my husband is there. Enjoying the presence of God. And one day, I will see him again.



Friends have asked me how I cope with the loss.

To be honest, although there are days when I miss my husband, I have never really felt a desire to leave this world to be with him. There is no wishing for death, as if life stopped having any kind of meaning for me when he passed away.

It is quite clear to me that there is another level, a higher plain where God is bringing me. It is a process of growing and maturing in my faith journey.

God has given me a mission statement: to be a prophetic intercessor, an agent of healing in the lives of people He sends my way. I am also the prophet and the priest that stands guard and keeps watch at the doorway of our family, a spiritual role that I take seriously. And for these purposes, I know God is allowing me to go through an intensive equipping process as well.

--0--

One night in Manila, a few weeks ago, I couldn't sleep. God was impressing names of people on my heart that He wanted me to pray for. For two hours or so, I kept praying for Sue, for my friend Elena, for my children First Born, God-given, Worshiper, and Obedient One. God was in the room with me, and I didn't have the English words to pray... so I began praying in my prayer language, and it went on non-stop. As this went on, there was a heavenly peace that I felt, and I knew God was allowing me to pray the prayers that were on His heart.

And this really is the best prayer we can offer, not the prayers of our own human understanding, but the prayers of His heart.

--0--

As I awoke this morning, my heart was struggling. I was thinking of my daughter Obedient One... of my First Born... of my friends Elena, of Lagi, of my sister in law Sue.

The picture of Abraham about to slay his son Isaac on the altar was on my mind. I knew there was another faith lesson underway.

Andrea of A Feast of Light wrote about faith on her latest blog post, Collision. Obviously, Andrea and I have been going through the same faith lessons these past weeks.

She writes about the collision of our flesh with our faith, and I quote part of it here:

Collision of faith and flesh is stunning. It is gritty reality right in your face. It can be quite rude and ugly. Its abruptness raises personal inspection, a microscopic look of survival faith, that part of your life in God that is left when living gives you less than best, or worse that worst.

A simple knowledge of God, dear friends, is not breath enough for survival faith. No, survival faith, the shattered remains from collision of faith and flesh, must have something more. Deep roots, fertile soil, good water, tender care. A divine taproot that glues faith fibers together, so that no tugging, pulling, or digging can transplant or destroy our life in God.

I wholeheartedly agree with her when she says that a simple knowledge of God is not enough. What she calls "survival faith" is the shattered remains from collision of faith and flesh...and it must have something more, something deeper.

Years ago I have decided that I will be known as a woman of faith; when my earthly life is over, I want to leave behind a legacy of faith.

It hasn't been an easy road, learning to live a life of faith. Most of the time I have had to learn my faith lessons the hard way.

Just as Abraham was required to leave the comfortable and familiar confines of his home, I chose to embrace a deeper faith, letting go of my mere intellectual understanding of the religious rituals that I was brought up under, and going into the deeper waters of a heart transforming faith.

James puts it this way:

Therefore lay aside all filthiness
and overflow of wickedness,
and receive with meekness the implanted word,
which is able to save your souls.

But be doers of the word,
and not hearers only,
deceiving yourselves.

- James 1:21-22

I grew up thinking that hearing the word was enough... doing the rituals, going through the motions of my religion.

I was earnest and sincere, but I didn't know how to make my faith work.

Then the Lord confronted me in what I will call my Damascus Road experience.

One day I realized that simply hearing the word was not going to save me. This led me through a faith crisis. I share a little bit about this experience in Face to Face, a post I wrote during our last few months in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

I first encountered God at a a deeper level thirty-six years ago, but it is only in the past decade that I understood the difference between presumptuous faith and a broken faith.

Like David, I thought I was ready for war. And in all honesty, I thought my heart was humble, not arrogant. But God desires a brokenness in our faith, and this is where the wilderness experience comes in. Before David was fit to be king, God allowed his faith to be broken in the wilderness where no amount of "faith posturings" could help.

There were times when my faith, instead of serving the purposes of God, served my human flesh. It caused me to desire to use my so called faith to look good in the eyes of others, and promote my own agenda instead of God's.

Then the reversals came. Sickness, financial ruin, failed businesses, relationships turning sour...many other forms of devastation.

What Andrea calls survival faith, I call broken faith.

Bob Sorge, in his book The Fire of Delayed Answers writes about this kind of faith:

God taught David how to be a man of faith...and none of the lessons he learned previously was applicable anymore. In this way, God broke David's framework and understanding of faith and then began to totally rebuild it.

David would rise again in faith, but this time it would be a faith that would be devoid of all self-confidence and trust in human strength.

Broken faith is faith that endures, because it has been tested in the crucible, the way gold is proven and purified. Broken faith will refuse to be offended at others, or even God, when we feel we have not been treated right. Broken faith will keep holding on to God.

Abraham was called to leave his comfort zone and his obedience led him through that great journey of faith. Years later, he would be asked to yield his son, Isaac, in a major test of faith.

Abraham passed this test, but it was not really the kind of test that anyone looks forward to going through.

It has been said that all of life is a test of faith, because a broken and tested faith is what will save our souls on that final day of judgment...it is the faith that doesn't merely hear the word, but does it!

God wants to make sure that we have the right kind of faith.

And I am truly grateful to Him for allowing me to experience many such faith testings in my life.

--0--

I almost went to Manila with Obedient One yesterday. My heart as a mother wants to protect her, to be with her... sometimes I think that Obedient One is still a little girl, and that if I am with her, she will be safe.

But God spoke clearly to my heart. I don't want you to go to Manila at this time. You are also needed here; there is work to be done here for now.


When God speaks, I must obey. But please, dear friends, I need you to pray with me.

Yes, Obedient One's faith is growing, even as she needs to learn more faith lessons on her own. And I need to let her go, again. She is safe and secure in the arms of God, her heavenly Father. Let us continually ask God to cover her with His favor, day and night.

First Born son received a job promotion last week. We had been praying for this, and it was granted. Nevertheless join me as I continue to pray for God's healing hand to be upon his heart, for he continues to hold on to many unresolved issues in the area of unforgiveness.

Forerunner, my grandson celebrated his first birthday three days ago. I am praying for spiritual awareness for him, a hunger for God, protection from demonic schemes, and wisdom to be upon his parents to nurture and train him in the way he should go, as he enters his first year of life.

Preparations are underway for my son Worshiper and his fiancee Chosen One's wedding this December. We are praying for good weather, and for all plans to go smoothly, giving glory and honor to God alone.

My friend Elena is out of danger. She is already sitting up, and talking. Her vision was not impaired. Her CT scan shows that the cauterized portions of the blood vessels removed from her brain are not in danger of hemorrhaging. She was not disabled in anyway. Even her doctors are amazed at her quick recovery. We praise God for answering our prayers, and let us continue to pray that no post surgical complications will arise.

Be with me in my ongoing prayers for God's healing intervention in the lives of my friend Lagi and my sister in law Sue.

--0--

As I am about the end this post, I thank God that He has given me a deeper understanding of broken faith, this life of faith that I desire.

The kind of faith that God rewards is not an intellectual faith. What good is it if my faith is in mere words?

Today, I thank You Father for speaking to me again about the faith that You desire, an active, mountain-moving faith. A faith that will not crumble when it collides with my earthly realities, but will remain steadfast and strong.

Father I want my life of faith to be a shining light to those around me. May my faith not be one that will give glory to me, but to You alone. Indeed, my Father, You are the author and the finisher of my faith!

My Faith Looks Up To Thee

My faith looks up to Thee,
Thou Lamb of Calvary, Savior divine!
Now hear me while I pray, take all my guilt away,
O let me from this day be wholly Thine!

May Thy rich grace impart
Strength to my fainting heart, my zeal inspire!
As Thou hast died for me, O may my love to Thee,
Pure warm, and changeless be, a living fire!

While life’s dark maze I tread,
And griefs around me spread, be Thou my Guide;
Bid darkness turn to day, wipe sorrow’s tears away,
Nor let me ever stray from Thee aside.

When ends life’s transient dream,
When death’s cold sullen stream over me roll;
Blest Savior, then in love, fear and distrust remove;
O bear me safe above, a ransomed soul!

Read the story of how this hymn was written, and listen to a piano version of it here.

Out of the Woods

"Light at the End of the Tunnel" by James Anderson

And without faith it is impossible to please God,
because anyone who comes to Him
must believe that He exists
and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

- Hebrews 11:6

My 8:55 a.m. flight back to Bacolod City touched down at exactly 9:35 a.m., twenty minutes ahead of schedule!

The flight was smooth, and it felt like the plane was just gliding through the clouds. After six days of stormy weather, we finally saw the sun, for a change.

In fact, the weather bulletin for this day read,

As of today August 11, 2009, no tropical cyclone existing within Philippine Area of Responsibility.

Surely it was an indicator of the "weather conditions" in my current circumstances as well!



Obedient One and I woke up at 5 30 a.m. This gave us enough time to get dressed and have a quick breakfast together before leaving for the airport. I always like taking the mid-morning flight out of Manila, whenever possible. It gives me the opportunity to drop off my daughter at her place of work on my way to the Centennial Airport. Within the 40 minutes that it takes to reach her office we are able to talk some more, and pray together.

Leaving Obedient One behind this time was not as difficult for me as the last time. As many of you know, she went through an emotional storm last month.

Thank you dear friends for praying for her. Her inner joy has returned, not completely, but I know she's out of the woods. I do praise God for this. This is what a mom is for. Not to deprive her of precious opportunity to try out her new wings, but to be as a mother eagle flying under the eaglet as she ventures further out into the world. It was indeed worth all the effort, time, and money I spent to be with her at the time she needed emotional and spiritual support.

Picture of Obedient One taken last Sunday,
just before we left our home for the pamanhikan at Chosen's house

While praying for my daughter a few weeks ago, I asked God to lead me on the right track. I needed to be sure that I was praying "on target, hitting the mark" prayers, praying the prayers that are on my Father's heart, not simply my own.

He showed me the picture of a girl under an umbrella. You will understand the surge of joy that flooded my heart after I tell you this story:

Obedient One loves necklaces. One Sunday after church, a few months ago, we went to Greenhills to eat lunch and look at the shops. A bronze necklace caught her fancy. It had a unique pendant, a little girl under a big umbrella.

When God showed that picture, I was immediately reminded of my daughter's bronze necklace. God whispered these comforting words in my heart, "She has a big umbrella over her, Me. She is safe, she just needs to stay under my protection and care."

Amazing, but it was God who led my daughter to purchase that beautiful necklace.

We almost didn't buy it. But after thinking it over while eating our lunch, she finally decided in favor of buying it.

Obedient One's storm had something to do with obedience. Her choice to obey God rather than her own heart brought her much emotional pain, but in obeying her heavenly Father, she was able to tap on to His supernatural strength. One obedient step may seem small, but it does cause our faith to grow several notches higher!

As he was about to end his preaching last Sunday, Pastor Edgar said these timely words: Faith is like a muscle, if we don't use it, it will atrophy.

Obedient One has also joined a small group in her office that meets one night a week after work to study God's word. Another small step in the right direction!

Here is a closer look at that girl-with-umbrella necklace:

From the Bacolod airport, Worshiper brought me to Riverside Medical Center where my grandson Forerunner has been staying for the past four days, starting Saturday morning.

His pediatrician wanted to be sure the baby was given proper medical attention. Matthew's cough and fever had turned out to be a case of penumonia; hospital care was indeed important.

Praise God for the healing.

Forerunner was discharged yesterday afternoon and medication can be continued at home. We appreciate your prayers for his full recovery. Let's ask the Father that Matthew will be able to keep the medicines down, and that he will regain the appetite he has lost.

We remember to put our trust in Jehovah Rophe, the God our Healer.

Clap your hands so gaily...

A doggy and a flowery welcome awaited me when I got home. Below are a few pictures taken upon my arrival.


My stargazer lilies, yellowbells, red euphorbias in full bloom:









My dog Sammy, getting ready to fall asleep in my arms again!

It's so good to be back.

Thank you, my dear friends and loved ones who have been a part of my life journey through this blog. I truly appreciate the fact that we meet often at God's throne of grace.

God Himself is our reward!


Related Post:
To My Daughter: If I Could

Weathering An Emotional Storm

Taken from the latest weather bulletin (6:00 a.m. today) released by the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Administration, the satellite picture above shows the tropical depression Isang, already moving away from our country.

I'm back in Manila.

My daughter called me last weekend. She's going through an emotional storm.

While praying for her, I got a strong sense in my spirit that God wants to minister joy and hope to her... through me!

After having been away from my home for three months, there were a lot of things lined up for me to do.

The front door of our house has been repaired, and all it needs now is a fresh coat of paint on the concrete portions around the new door jambs, and a new layer of oil stain on the door and newly installed door frame.

That's just the beginning.

There are other portions of the house that have been partially damaged by termites. These will also be repaired in the near future.

I also planned to oversee the granite work on my husband's grave, and have a special marble tombstone made, one that will have his life verse engraved on it.

But since July 10, there has been non stop rains in our city. We have entered the rainy season, the season when we can expect typhoons and tropical depressions to visit our country one after the other.

So the work has been further delayed.

Nevertheless, I was all set to go to Manila and had already planned to leave on the Tuesday evening flight. But on Monday night, I developed a really bad sinus problem, which worsened on Tuesday, as I began experiencing body aches and chills.

By Wednesday, just as the tropical depression was leaving, another one followed close behind, dumping even more rains on the northern islands of our country.

Not to be deterred, I purchased my plane ticket for Thursday's evening flight to Manila.

It was an act of faith and obedience.

Somehow, I had the feeling that the sudden illness that I experienced was a ploy of the enemy to prevent me from going back to Manila to minister to my daughter.

On Thursday lunch, the ladies' group of our church, the Women of Purpose, met for our weekly devotional studies and prayer time. I shared with them one of the messages that God has been repeatedly speaking to my heart, about the sons of Issachar (1 Chronicles 12:32), the ones in David's army who understood the times and knew what Israel ought to do, and how we, as women need to be like them in this day and hour.

Due to the strong rains, there were only six of us who met that day, but my heart was so encouraged by the fervor of every single woman present. All of us had the desire and the commitment to be the pivot that will become the turning point for our families, our church and our city. Although I was still groggy and had not yet fully recovered from my illness when we started the lunch meeting, by the time that we ended, I felt a strong sense of healing come upon me.

Worshiper, my second son, brought me to the airport. Worshiper is a good and trustworthy son. My heart is at peace knowing our home, and my pet dogs, are being looked after by him.


Because of the new tropical depression that was entering Northern Luzon (Manila is located in Southern Luzon), my evening flight to Manila experienced heavy turbulence. I found myself praying in tongues all the way, and turning up the volume of my iPod, as I listened to Jessie Rogers sing "When I Find Him," one of the songs on her really anointed album Out of the Fire.

Despite the turbulence, the landing was remarkably smooth! And I was glad to have a very polite taxi driver who knew how to avoid passing through the flooded areas of Manila to reach my Metro Manila home.


Before too long, I finally arrived at my destination. My daughter was waiting for me at the gate with a big umbrella. She and I hugged each other, both overjoyed at this unplanned meeting, being together again after saying goodbye to each other just ten days ago!

Well, this mother's got a job to do again. And I'm only too happy to be willing and available.

Though I will only be here for five days, I am praying that it will be enough time for me to help Obedient One weather an emotional storm that she is going through. Already I am praying for God's wisdom and discernment to be upon me. And I am believing and looking forward to the time of breakthrough!



One of the reasons that my heart is deeply angered by policies that promote abortion, even the ghastly late term abortion which is tantamount to killing a nearly fully formed baby in its last trimester. is the fact that mothering is one of the relationships closest to the heart of God. The heavenly Father loves to describe His love for us by using the picture of the mother hen with her baby chicks. How protective God is of His children!

One extremely inhumane method of late term abortion called saline abortion burns the helpless baby in a salt solution and enables the mother to deliver a dead baby within twenty four hours. The sad thing is that some babies are delivered not dead but still alive, and I cannot, for the life of me, understand how some government administrations want to promote policies which say that such babies are not to be aided, but rather to be left alone in a closet to die.

How the enemy has effectively poisoned the hearts and minds of people by the religion of self -- whatever is convenient for me, whatever will work to my benefit, that will I pursue. I can have a few hours of pleasure and if a baby results in the process, it is an interruption to my selfish goals, so in the name of my religion, it is acceptable for me to get rid of it, like I would swat a pesky fly out of my way.

This is the depths of depravity to which this generation has sunk... and it just angers me...because as a mother, I know how many extra miles I will be willing to walk (or fly!) to be of help to my own children.

However, I dare offer no negative judgments to people and governments who believe in abortion; I know that such kind of judgment is not in my department.


Well, I just wanted to share the latest about me... I guess a mother's job is never really done, as my dear sister-in-love Sue says, "We're mothers for all seasons." How true indeed.

And just today, the latest weather report says that the tropical depression is moving farther away from the country.

As I look out from where I am sitting, here in our second floor family room overlooking our living room, the sky is clear, another promise of good weather and blue skies. The garden is rejoicing, after that fresh boost of nitrogen and all that rain water, and there is a sweet fragrance in the air after the rains!

I declare that all evil schemes and demonic assignments over my family are exposed, broken, and thwarted, in the name of Jesus and by the power of His authority.

Matukad Island, Camarines Sur, Philippines

To My Daughter: If I Could

The path ahead, the road we travel,
the direction of a ship at sea,
the Anglo Saxon origin of the word leadership.
How many willing follow the compelling vision of their leaders?

(caption taken from here)



My son, do not forget my law,
But let your heart keep my commands;
For length of days and long life
And peace they will add to you.

- Proverbs 3:1,2

I arrived in Bacolod City last Tuesday.

Somehow, after having been gone for nearly three months, it felt somewhat strange to be back in my own room, and in my own home. I walked through the different parts of the house slowly, trying to re-acquaint myself with what life was like before I left, and making a mental list of all the things that will be needing my immediate attention in the days to come.


These past days, I have of course been thinking very much of my daughter, Obedient One, now once again living by herself, far away from me.

In my last post, a dear blog friend Felisol, dropped by a second time and left a comment. Felisol is from Norway and her blog often features lovely pictures of her only daughter. I knew she could feel my heart. Her comment read:

Dear Lidj,

I just checked in on you, thinking you might be back, and perhaps a little sad.

I'm praying for you.

Sharing.

From felisol

What was it in her comment that moved me to tears?

One thing is certain, my blog friends have been given by God to me for this particular season in my life. And Felisol is one woman, among many, who understands.

I immediately went over to her blog site, and read a beautiful poem which is dedicated to her daughter. Her entry was entitled My Sepia Rose. In the post was a lovely sepia picture of Serina.

How this entry gripped my heart, and brought up many memories about my own daughter.

Here are a few of them.

Obedient One was born on December 7, 1984, a Friday morning. Ernie and I sat in our car parked in the hospital grounds, listening to Christmas carols while waiting for the labor contractions to intensify before checking into the hospital. Twice before, we had checked in, only to go back home several hours later because the labor did not progress, and each time, we had to pay costly admission fees. This time we knew better.

When I was certain that it was soon time for the baby to be born, I remember thanking God for the little one that was about to come into the world, through me. I realized that it was an awesome privilege. I asked God for a special anointing upon the baby's life, that he or she would be a constant reminder of His faithfulness to me.

I never had an ultra sound taken during my pregnancy, so when the obstetrician announced, "It's a girl!" I felt a joy surge up from inside of me. After two boys, to say I was happy to finally have a baby girl is really an understatement.

She was a vibrant, strong-willed, multi-talented little girl. Confidence oozed out of her. She was artistic, full of zest for life.

Ernie and I always spoke the truth to her, even if we knew it would hurt her. For example, we would tell her a vaccine shot would hurt, but it would be good for her. And somehow she would understand. This is what made her very secure in our love.

When she was hospitalized at three years of age, she would allow the nurses to get blood samples, insert a needle into her vein for the IV drip, and submit to all the tests the doctor required without so much as a whimper.

One thing that stood out in all her growing years is her obedient spirit. I recall that when she was eight years old, she and her friends went to a fair in one of the schools in our city. When she came home that afternoon, she mentioned something that struck me.

I asked her to tell me stories about how their day went.

She said, "Oh Mama, did you know that they had a Horror House at the fair?"

"Oh, and what happened at the Horror House?" I asked.

"All my friends went inside."

"And how about you?"

"I just waited for them until they came out, because Mama, I remembered what you told me before, that if I truly love Jesus, I would never want to go inside a Horror House which is the territory of the Enemy. And I truly love Jesus."

I hugged her then, and told her how much I appreciated her obedient heart.

For me, that meant a lot, to have a little girl who at an early age has decided that she truly loves Jesus, and therefore, will not want to have anything to do with the enemy.

There are probably a thousand stories about my daughter just waiting to be told...

She grew up wanting to do all things well. She graduated from elementary school as the class valedictorian, from high school as the class salutatorian...

She graduated from university, with a B.S. degree in Applied Economics, magna cum laude.

Obedient One is also a dancer. During her university days, she was the team captain of their college cheer dance team.

Three years ago, a year after her university graduation, she decided to get a job in Manila. This was a major move for her, and for our family.

Metro Manila is not at all like Bacolod City where she grew up. Bacolod City is our comfort zone, a quiet, laid back city with a beautiful rural-urban mix: not too rural, not too urban. But Metro Manila is like any modern day city, where you are just a face in the crowd, a ticket number, a nobody.

So in keeping with our commitment to bring our children safely over to the other side of the river, I had to visit her almost every month just to make sure she was coping and adjusting well. I helped her become familiar with the bus and the train rides, the important landmarks, how to keep herself safe while commuting to and from work, how to be on her own. Together we looked for a church where she would grow in her relationship with the Lord, which I kept reminding her was of utmost importance.

The year that Ernie and I spent in Chiang Mai, Thailand, from 2007-2008, and I was unable to visit her often like before, proved that she had already reached the other side safely... and that she was able to weather the storms of adjusting to a new pace, and a new environment, on her own.

Of course, the fact that she already had a home to live in made all the difference. But still, there were emotional, and psychological changes that she needed to go through.

The biggest adjustment for her, I think, is her idealism. I know she still struggles with this up to now. She has to learn how to face reality, as she constantly deals with disappointments.

But it is her life... and much as I want to always be there for her, it isn't possible.

For the longest time, I have carried the label, "Problem Solver" for our family. Somehow, I assumed this heavy role and responsibility for many, many years... until recently.

God revealed to me that this was never a burden He intended for me to carry. I still remember the night just about a year ago when I removed this label from my heart and gave the label to Jesus!

It is difficult, but I am learning to let go of Obedient One in stages... and have found comfort in entrusting her to the One Who alone is able to watch over her perfectly. Daily I fervently pray that God will break through for her, give her a deep revelation of His Father heart for her, give her experiences that will deepen her own faith in Him, and continually bring her to the next level of his kingdom agenda for her.

I am asking my heavenly Father that in the midst of her quarterlife struggles, she will get to know God in a way she never has before.

As I come to the end of this sharing, I just want to echo what my husband Ernie said to our daughter on her 18th birthday during which we honored her, and released her to her destiny, in a Batbarakah (Daughter of the Blessing) ceremony. And I say to you, my dear Obedient One: "I am proud to call you my daughter, and I am doubly proud to be called your mother. You are my beloved daughter in whom I am well pleased!"



Below is a picture of me and Obedient One, taken when she was a year old. I was 32 in this picture, and that was 24 years ago!

One song that always bring tears to my eyes is the song, If I Could, by Barbara Streisand. I could very well have written these beautiful lines for my daughter. I've posted it here, for those of you who may want to hear it sung so beautifully! I've also included the lyrics at the end of today's post.

Here are the lyrics of this beautiful song:

If I Could
(Songwriters: Sharron, Martha Vanessa; Hirsch, Kenny; Miller, Ronald Norman)

If I could
I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes
Give you courage in a world of compromise

Yes I would

If I could
I would teach you all the things I've never learned
And I'd help you cross the bridges that I've burned
Yes I would

If I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
But the part of life I gave you isn't mine
I've watched you grow so I could let you go

If I could
I would help you make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can never cry your tears
But I would, if I could

If I live
In a time and place where you don't want to be
You don't have to walk along this road with me
My yesterday won't have to be your way

If I knew
How to try to change the world I brought you to
And there isn't very much that I can do
But I would, if I could

If I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
But the part of life I gave you isn't mine
I've watched you grow so I could let you go

If I could
I would help you make it through those hungry years
But I know that I can never cry your tears
But I would, if I could
Yes I would, yes I would
If I could

Dear reader, if you are a mother like me, surely you can also relate to this song. I have sung it so often, I know the lines by heart. But the greatest freedom for me came when I realized that it is true: the part of life I gave my children isn't mine.

My life belongs to the Lord, my Creator. I am merely a steward of this borrowed life and its accompanying opportunities, including bringing up, and nurturing my children for Christ. It is to Him, my God and King, that I am to give an account.

May I be found faithful when the time comes for me to stand before His throne.

(A special thanks to Felisol for inspiring my heart to write this post.)



Other posts about Obedient One:

It Will Take Forever

In the Midst of the Pain