Windows: A Way of Seeing

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After these things I looked,

and behold, a door standing in heaven.

And the first voice which I heard was like a trumpet

speaking with me, saying,

"Come up here, and I will show you 
things which must take place after this."

- Revelation 4:1 "




In heaven's eyes, there are no losers.

February started off quite slowly... gradually picking up speed. Without my realizing it, the month will be over in just a few more hours. 

I have asked Abba Father what name to give it. And as I have pondered over the past weeks, one word kept coming up.

Windows.

Here are a few thoughts on my mind as I look back over the twenty-eight days that have graced this chapter of my life story. 

We can go through life with self sitting at the helm, so to speak.

My rules... my standards... my expectations... my agenda.

But life with self at the center neither satisfies nor fulfills. Rather, it hinders growth, blocks forward movement, puts blinders on our eyes, and boxes us in.

We don't really see very far when all we are focused on is self.

An unhealthy preoccupation with self stifles and stunts, very much like a garden that is overfertilized with chemicals and synthetic growth stimulants, resulting in slow death.

God desires to keep the ground of our hearts moist and soft with His life-giving presence.

The past years, God has brought me through a series of painful inner renovation, and gradual change has come, leading me to decide that self-focus is definitely not the road I want to walk on.

I want to live my life as a gift for others. This is one of my unspoken life metaphors.

From one obedient choice after another, the fallow ground of the heart can be cultivated, and trained to be as broken bread and poured out wine for others.

And God brings us out into a broad place, and enlarges the path under our feet. (Psalm 18:19, 36)

And opens before us windows - into His heart, our own heart, and the hearts of others.


Windows in our hearts allow God's revealing light and fresh wind to come in.


This jar is flawed and imperfect in many ways, but the Father lets His light shine through willing albeit broken vessels.

These are the key lessons in my journey: brokenness, humility, obedience, and trust.

I've personally understood how meaningful that is, to be a person in process.

Until we come face to face with our Eternal Creator, brokenness will be a normal part of our earthly sojourns.


And living my life as a gift for others means that my inner and outer lives are one and the same...

Where I allow others to see my weakness, instead of hiding it.

Yet humbly rejoicing in my victories, in my strengths and abilities... and faithfully carrying out the assignments I have been given.

And in all these, offering my heart as a channel of blessing through which God's mercy and compassion flow.


Yes, I love the person I have become and am becoming!  I embrace the process... and daily look forward to the goal.

I am a person in transition... being shaped, and molded, and conformed to Christ's image.

How I allow God to change me in the seasons of my life is the gift I offer.

Others may reject it, but that is not really my problem. There are many others who stand ready to receive.

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To keep the windows of my heart open, being authentic is absolutely necessary.

What I say to someone in his presence, is the same as what I will speak about him behind his back.

Because what I believe in deep inside will eventually show up in my words, actions, and decisions.

There really is no such thing as a double life. I cannot keep what is inside hidden for long. If not in my speech or behavior, it will show up in my face and body language and in the things that I invest my time and money in.

Henri Nouwen puts it so beautifully:

We like to make a distinction between our private and public lives and say, “Whatever I do in my private life is nobody else’s business.” But anyone trying to live a spiritual life will soon discover that the most personal is the most universal, the most hidden is the most public, and the most solitary is the most communal. What we live in the most intimate places of our beings is not just for us but for all people. That is why our inner lives are lives for others. That is why our solitude is a gift to our community, and that is why our most secret thoughts affect our common life. (source)

Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, 
but on a stand, 

and it gives light to all in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before others,

so that they may see your good works 

and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. 
- Matthew 5:15

This month God is speaking to me about looking at other people's lives through the window of their own brokenness, imperfection, and pain.

With acceptance, with understanding.

Not with self-righteous judgment.


Windows.

It means letting God's redeeming love be the filter through which I see my world.

Thanks to the lessons from this month, I am reminded of the awesome privilege of seeing people through heaven's eyes...

to listen to people's hearts, more than their words...

to see the inner person beneath the actions...

to discern the gold, not the sand...

to appreciate the treasure beneath the clutter...

to separate identity from behavior...

to believe in the persons they are becoming...

and be amazed by the grace that I find (a line borrowed from Sandi Patty's song).

Then I can gladly accept what others give me of themselves.

How liberating it is to be able to look at life through the window of abundance, not of lack, or disappointment, or even a sickening sense of entitlement.

What a privilege indeed, to be the Father's redemptive agent in the life of anyone that God sends my way.

I arrived in Metro Manila this morning, to spend a few days with my only sister who is in the country for a couple of months.

Today February ends but not before leaving me this precious gift. The gift of perspective.

Therefore, behold, I will allure her,

Will bring her into the wilderness,

And speak comfort to her.

I will give her her vineyards from there,

And the Valley of Achor as a door of hope...

- Hosea 2:14-15

Two songs for this season of my life:

In Heaven's Eyes

In Christ Alone

The February 2017 chapter of my life... in pictures.

Sabbath Grace

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For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous;

With favor You will surround him as with a shield.

- Psalm 5:12

I am no longer as driven as I used to be about writing blog posts. When this blog was new, I could write as many as three or more entries per week.

This blog was born on February 7, 2008, in Chiang Mai, Thailand. That was nine years ago. (Click on link to read my maiden blog post: What's in a Name?)

That same year, my husband Ernie went home to heaven. And as I put my feelings into words, my blog became a trusted companion as together we walked down the road called Grief, a God-given provision to help me come to terms with the pain of that season. (Here's the link: My Journey Through Grief)

On my 60th year, this blog was a silent listener as I talked about some life lessons God taught me through the years. Again the electronic pen and paper became my partners who helped me put together those meaningful chapters of my life story. (Here's the link to the first life lesson in the series: Restoration-A Matter of Perspective)

These past years, I have endeavored to write at least one post a month, to sort of summarize what the past four weeks have been like, and also to give the month a name.

February is far from over, but tonight I am led to share how this one particular Sabbath went for me. It is much too special to just let it go by.

I know that God's mercy and compassion are new every morning.

Each morning, I make it a point to kneel at the foot of my bed as soon as I awake, I pledge my allegiance to Him as King who sits as sovereign ruler over my life, and to thank Him for the brand new mercies that He has placed at my disposal for the next 24 hours of the day.

Each evening, at sundown, whenever possible, I welcome the new day, because the 24-hour day actually begins at sundown. And I thank God for His provision of rest and renewal during the night that will give me the strength I need for the daylight hours the following morning.

Each night, before I close my eyes, I thank God for the more than enough store of grace and compassion that was available to me, and I realize that I have not even scratched the surface of what God had intended for me. Indeed His love knows no measure!

But today was just so special... it felt like God poured buckets of favor over my heart!

The past days, I have been savoring my time alone here at home. There's been time to visit my garden, to read, and to have chunks of time to myself listening to worship music.

I'm thankful for the time of unplanned prayer ministry with two dear friends of mine this week.

After the fast pace of the previous months, the slower days of February are so refreshing to my soul.

And this week I have been thinking about the words of Jesus in John 15:9 --

As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Remain in My love.

That word "remain" means to continue, to abide, to stay in a close relationship of delight.

God invites us to reciprocate His love. The phrase has the connotation of giving, and receiving, joyful affection.

I have looked at the different passages in the Bible that speak of delight. The very first word in the Bible that speaks of God being "delighted" is mentioned in Genesis, where it says that He looked at all He had made, and it was very good.

God was delighted with what He had done.

I thought of the word delight in Psalm 37:4.

Delight yourself in the LORD, 
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

My own interpretation of this verse is that if I take delight in the Lord, He will also be delighted to give me what my heart desires! The passage speaks of a reciprocal relationship of delight!

Delight in this passage has the connotation of being pliable and soft.

Being gentle.... flexible... teachable.

It means easy to be entreated.

Or easy to please.

Compare that with hard-hearted... difficult to please... demanding and easily offended.

I'll take delight any day.

In the midst of the greed, unkindness, selfishness, and disappointments in the world, delight in the atmosphere will change the spiritual environment and landscape of our lives!

Today was such a day.

I was awakened at 3:45 a.m. As I awoke, there was a sense of overflowing joy in my heart.

Today is a Sabbath day, I thought to myself. I will prepare my heart and be ready in time for the 6 a.m. dawn watch at the House of Prayer.

First thing I did was to thank God for the new day.

Then I went to my prayer desk to listen to a few chapters from the gospel of John, and the first chapter of Revelation. 

Then to the kitchen for some fruit - starting with a small cup of freshly squeezed native lemon juice.

Prepared dog food for my pets.

Took a shower and got dressed.

Arrived at the Negros Island house of prayer a few minutes before the dawn watch prayer time began.

For the next two hours, we were in the awesome presence of God, praying for the nation, for Israel, and other things that were placed on our hearts. It didn't feel like two hours at all. The prayers just flowed... and blended in with the worship songs and the Bible verses...

What a delight it was!

We went to Tom N Toms Coffee Shop for breakfast. So grateful to a friend who offered to pay for my food. Again, what a delightful time we all had.

When I arrived home, my ever efficient helper had already finished watering the garden and doing the laundry and she was in the process of cleaning the house. Again... my heart was filled with so much appreciation for her... My heart was delighted!

Back at my prayer desk, I prayed for my sister-in-law Faith who was arriving from the US within the morning to spend a few days with her mom. In my heart, I wanted to see her today, but nothing was finalized. There were flight delays... her mom had already scheduled a family lunch... and there was still a two hour road trip for them after the lunch.

Okay, Lord... I leave everything in Your hands. 

I sent her a welcome message on Messenger.

It was 12 noon. By then, I was quite ready for a nap.

I woke up with a start and looked at the clock. It was 1:30 p.m. already!

I checked my messages on Messenger. My sister in law had sent a message at 1:10 p.m. saying they had just come in, and was inviting me to join them for lunch...

Got dressed in one minute and hopped on a cab the next. Got to the restaurant just as they were finishing their lunch.

In short... everything turned out beautifully.

We had a brief but sweet time together. And I went back home with a huge bag of goodies from the States, gifts of grace for me and my family.

Again, my heart felt so delighted. 

So thankful to Abba Father for the gentleness of this Sabbath day. A day of rest, renewal, and restoration.

A day overflowing with His favor, mercy, and grace.

I am so thankful to You, my dear Abba, for today.

For making me experience the delight of Your love in a tangible way!

The Message version puts it this way: "Make yourselves at home in my love." 

That is exactly how I feel, Lord! I feel very much at home in Your love!

Here's the Hebrew song of worship I listened to as this beautiful day was coming to an end.