A Fresh Start

Therefore, they shall come and sing in the height of Zion,

And shall flow together to the goodness of the Lord,

For wheat, and for wine, and for oil, and for the young,

for the young of the flock and of the herd;

And their soul shall be as a watered garden;

And they shall not sorrow anymore at all.

-Jeremiah 31:12

"All flesh is grass
And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
Because the breath of the LORD blows upon it;
Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever."

Behold, the LORD GOD shall come with a strong hand,
And His arm shall rule for Him;
Behold, His reward is with Him,
And His work before Him.
He will feed His flock like a shepherd;
He will gather the lambs with His arm,
And carry them in His bosom,
And gently lead those that are with young.
- Isaiah 40:8, 10-11




And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide:
and he lifted up his eyes,
and saw, behold, the camels were coming.
- Genesis 24:63

December was quite an interesting month for me. She came rushing in, but left so quietly.

As I had written in my Christmas Day post, I returned from Manila on the 1st of December... then the events just sort of came running in, one after the other.

The painful experience I had on Christmas Eve was used by God to speak an important message to me. Writing my thoughts down did help me understand why I reacted the way I did. The tears that I shed helped to bring not only cleansing but also refreshing and healing to my frayed emotions. (Christmas Day post: Reality Check)

I almost did not join our family for breakfast that morning. But something told me I had to battle my desire to hide my tears. So I washed my face, put on a beautiful blouse, and sat down to eat breakfast with my family. 

God-given had prepared a lovely Christmas Day lunch for all of us. Again, I was tempted to stay in my room. But that same inner voice prompted me to go to their house next door and let my presence as head of our family "grace" the special occasion.

After lunch, I went back to my room and more tears fell.

It was actually a sacred moment for me... so I didn't really want to draw others in my family into that experience. I knew that they cared... but they wouldn't really understand.

When Obedient One saw my puffy eyes still wet with tears, she scolded me, saying, "Mom, you have often taught us that getting hurt is a choice that we make."

My reply to her came quickly. "Yes, dear daughter, you are right. In this case however, I am dealing with a wound that is still fresh and painful. Whether I like it or not, time is needed for it to heal."

Even I was surprised by my words. What I said brought a ray of understanding to my heart.

The wound was not a result of a deliberate act, something that is true with the many wounds that life gives us. 

But we do have an important choice to make when wounding comes. Keep it hidden and unprocessed, or bring it to the Father and let Him deal with it. 

I did not expect others to understand what I was feeling. And I chose not to blame anyone for what happened. 

Heavy rains fell over our city the day after Christmas. Early morning of December 27, I went to the garden and saw this beautiful sight: 

my miniature rose that was in the process of unfolding its petals. Its quiet, unassuming beauty and simple elegance brought such a delight to my heart.

What a tender moment it was for me. I sensed my heavenly Father's embrace.

I realized that the pain in my heart was no longer there.

The wound did not fester, and the enemy was not able to infect it. A clean wound heals quickly... and I realize that that was what happened to me.

God enlarged my heart that early morning, right there in that garden, where the rains had softened the ground all around, and brought such a refreshment to my plants.

"This is a picture of what I did to your heart. The enemy meant it for evil... but I turned it around for good." I sensed that this was what the Father was saying to me.

On the last day of the year, God surprised me again. I went to my garden and saw three yellow flowers that had also just opened that morning. As far as I know, this is the very first time that this plant flowered, I don't even know what it's called.

How personally God speaks to me! Whenever He wants to relay an important message, He does it through flowers. What a message of hope these flowers brought to my heart. An assurance that my heavenly Father was doing something beautiful in my life.

December 2012 came rushing in... but gently said good-bye to me. The Father makes all things beautiful... in His time.

I really was at a loss for words as December came to an end.

I invited First Born and his family to join us for breakfast that morning. Then Obedient and I went to the grocery to buy some ingredients for the vegetable salad and chocolate fondue and fruit platter that I was preparing for the New Year's Eve dinner that evening. 

This meal was special because it was going to be the last meal for 2012. I knew it was symbolic of how faithfully God had provided for all our needs the past twelve months, and this meal was also a harbinger of the good things God had in store for us in 2013.

Chosen One prepared French onion soup, Worshiper grilled prime rib. God given did the French fries and vegetable sticks to add to our fondue platter. It was a lovely family meal, and my heart was not burdened with any expectations. I just wanted to be a blessing... motherly love and understanding to flow from my heart to everyone - whether they were aware of it or not.

After dinner, we had our New Year's Eve family picture taking. Then First Born and his family left to spend the rest of the evening with God given's family. At the stroke of twelve, Worshiper, Chosen One, Madora (Chosen One's mom), Obedient, and I drank some wine to welcome the New Year. We gathered in a circle as Worshiper thanked God for the year just ended and prayed for Him to rain down His abundant blessings on us again for the next twelve months.

At sundown of the first day of the new year, we visited Ernie's grave. Obedient One, Worshiper and I sat on the grass for a few minutes, while Chosen One stayed in the car with Elijah, who had fallen asleep on our way to the memorial park. It was good to just sit there, as the stars were slowly becoming visible in the early evening sky. A cool breeze was blowing.

There can be no doubt about it, my name for December is Cleansing.

God is always inviting us to move up to the next level of our destiny. He doesn't want us to stay stuck -- in our comfort zones, or in our unhealed wounds! He doesn't want us to drive our stakes too deep, because at any given moment, His cloud will move, and we have to be ready to follow where He leads.

On December 30, the last Sunday of 2012, the Scripture passage printed on our church bulletin was taken from Isaiah 43:18-19.

Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

This was clearly God's word for me for 2013. A new thing... a fresh start.

"Last year, the winnower was at work, sifting the chaff from the wheat."

The kernel is encased in a hard shell while it grows, but when it matures, the very shell that protected it becomes useless. It has turned to chaff, and must be shaken off, and discarded.

What is it that I am holding on to... the seeming solid things that meant so much to me? Could it be that in this season, these have turned to chaff, and I need to let go of them?

Unrelenting at times, the ruach has tempered your faith and has given you new perspective. Yesterday's sweet spot is today's chaff. What protected and nurtured you in times past will be separated from you in the day of sifting. Only after experiencing the winnower's wind can you be ready for inclusion in the next chapter of Father's plan. 

Sifting differentiates between what is worthless and what is of value. Many in Father's house are feeling quite worthless because the wind has blown away what they found central to their identity. Something have departed that once gave us a sense of great significance. Perhaps you have drawn your identity from a particular assignment, ministry, relationship or season of past success? Much has blown away in the winds of 5772. Chaff has value and purpose, in its season. Wisdom beckons us to recognize the seasonal quality of what or who has exited your life in the sifting. (Defining Words)

In the Hebrew calendar, we are in the year 5773, the year of the camel, or ayin gimel. The Hebrew word gimel means camel, as well as the number '3'. It also stands for the Third Person of the Trinity. The wise men came to Jesus on camels laden with gifts and provision, so did the servant Eliezar, when he was sent to look for a wife for Isaac. And Rebekah came to Isaac, riding on a camel.

God has done His sifting, His purging, His cleansing in the past season, that in the new year, His people will be ready to shift gears.

The prophets are declaring that the year 2013 is going to be a "life transition" year - a year when God's timing will be all about transitioning from the past year of barrenness and purging into a new year of provision and prosperity. But in order for this to happen, I have to align with God's transitions for me.

When we move in sync with God, the transition period can be shortened - so short that it can happen suddenly! It has been said that a "suddenly" occurs when God's timing intersects with God's Word. So it is crucial that we recognize and understand the times and the seasons, and that we also hear what God is saying. We would do well to be very sensitive to the moves of the Holy Spirit.

Today, when you hear His voice, harden not your heart...

God has done a beautiful cleansing in my heart the last month of 2012.

As this new year begins for me, I declare that my camels are coming. I am ready for a fresh start, for the new thing that the Lord is doing in my life.

This is the Lord's doing; 

it is marvellous in our eyes.

- Psalm 118:23

Sharing with you some recent family pictures:

Christmas Eve 2012

Christmas Eve 2012

Worshiper, Obedient, First Born and me

Christmas Eve 2012

Mother and Daughter

Christmas Eve 2012

Christmas Stockings from "Wawa Sue"

New Year's Eve 2012

Chosen and her mom, Madora
New Year's Eve 2012

enjoying fruits, veggie sticks and marshmallows dipped in hot chocolate
New Year's Eve 2012

me and my growing family
two sons, two daughters in love, one daughter, and two grandsons
(we also have three dogs, two are not in the picture)
New Year's Eve 2012


"Do not allow Christmas to be defined by your disappointment
but allow your disappointment to be forever changed because of Christmas."

(Joy! To Your World - A Countdown to Christmas on Bible App YouVersion)
Simply Surrender: Christmas Forever Changed