The Road Ahead

The Road Ahead

photo credit




Behold I will do a new thing
Now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
And rivers in the desert.

- Isaiah 43:19

We celebrated the first anniversary of Ernie's homegoing this evening at his sister Suzette's lovely home.


Around 60 family members, close friends from church, and a number Ernie's colleagues at the university where he was a member of the board of regents and a former vice-president, were invited.


We began with singing a few of Ernie's favorite hymns like Take My Life and Blessed Assurance, and Ron Kenoly's Resound in Praise, and reading some passages from the Bible.


The people present, and many others who could not be with us tonight (Ernie's brother and his family, as well as my only sister and her family, who live in the United States), all had a special part in our family's journey the past twelve months. In one way or another, they proved to be our support system during our time of grief.


Several of us shared memories and testimonies of how God proved himself faithful and true during the months that we felt the pain of Ernie's absence.


"I am proud of my brother," Leila, Ernie's youngest sister said. "I am proud of the legacy of kindness and generosity that he has left behind...I will surely miss him."


My friend Ruby said that one of the many things she wants to thank God for this year is seeing how Ernie's first born son grew and matured before her very eyes.


"I have seen First Born become a responsible husband and father," Ruby shared with tears in her eyes. "Ernie was the wind beneath his family's wings... and even if it caused us much sadness when his earthly life ended, I can rejoice as I see his First Born rise up and become his own person."


Suzette, Ernie's other sister said, "In the last phone conversation I had with him two days before he passed away, he told me, 'If there is one thing I want you to remember, it is to forgive, to let go, and to accept. Let reconciliation begin with you.'"


Because they were her brother's last words to her, Suzette took that message to heart.


She said, "And today, I stand here before you as a woman in the process of being healed, because I am learning how to forgive."


"There has to be forgiveness before there can be healing," Suzette said softly as she ended. "But it had to take the death of my dear brother for that to come about in my life."


A few others also stood up to share what was on their heart.


There were tears in our eyes as we listened to Roselyn sing Wind Beneath my Wings and as we watched the beautiful video presentation which portrayed the different seasons of Ernie's life.

Here are some pictures:

Ernie's 61st birthday, November 2007
Khum Kantoke, Chiang Mai Thailand

In front of Maejo University November 2007
Chiang Mai, Thailand

On our way to spend a day at the city
August 2008, Chiang Mai, Thailand

Ernie at Haggai Leadership Institute
July 2008, Maui, Hawaii

Eating Thai noodles, September 2008
Chiang Mai, Thailand

After a farewell lunch for us, September 2008
Mae Rim, Chiang Mai, Thailand

"Three Generations" (with Matthew, seven days old)
Ernie, First Born, and Matthew, October 27, 2008
Bacolod City

Ernie's 62nd birthday, November 2008
Bacolod City

Welcome dinner for us given by church friends

November 2008, Bacolod CIty

At Maejo University
August 2008, Chiang Mai, Thailand

Ernie's Casket
November 2008


Cadets saluting as funeral limousine passes by on its way to burial site
November 2008

Twelve months after Ernie's passing away, we - his family and friends - paid a fitting tribute to a man who impacted many not only in his life, but even in his death.


But more than anything else, I want this day to mark the end of a season. I want it to be remembered as the physical closure to our grieving period.


There is a sense in which the grieving never really ends, but it is also true that there comes a point when mourning turns to dancing, and sorrow turns to joy.


God is doing a new thing, and I certainly don't want to miss it.


To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.


He has made everything beautiful in His time.


How this has proven to be true in my life!


Herein lies the power of the resurrection of Jesus. What the enemy has intended as an end, God has caused to be a powerful messenger of hope and new beginnings!

He has made all things beautiful in His time.

This is God's message to my heart today, the first anniversary of my husband's homegoing.

I know my Father holds the seasons of my life in his hands; the timing of Ernie's going home to heaven to fall on the week of Thanksgiving is not a coincidence.


Nothing in this life is a matter of coincidence.


God ordains...orchestrates...allows.


Everything is a test...an opportunity...a choice!


What the enemy means for evil, God can turn to good.



There is a road ahead...


My Father provides bread for the journey,


splashes of joy at strategic places;


heaven's melody fills the air,


God meets me at every turn!

Thank God! there is always a Land of Beyond
For us who are true to the trail;
A vision to seek, a beckoning peak...

(from The Land of Beyond, by Robert W. Service)

This macro shot of my stargazer lily was taken at 5:52 a.m. this morning. It's incredible how this plant has become God's messenger of hope to me this past year!

Thank You, my Father. Thank You for always finding a way to speak hope to me. Thank You! I just can't thank you enough.

I want to end this post with this psalm of praise, penned by David:

¹ I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.

² Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.

³ Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.

⁴ One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.

⁵ They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

⁶ They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.

⁷ They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

⁸ The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.

⁹ The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.

¹⁰ All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
your saints will extol you.

¹¹ They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,

¹² so that all men may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.

¹³ Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made.

¹⁴ The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.

¹⁵ The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.

¹⁶ You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

¹⁷ The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.

¹⁸ The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.

¹⁹ He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.

²⁰ The LORD watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

²¹ My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.

Maejo University Gate
Chiang Mai, Thailand

One Master

Christ and the Rich Young Ruler
by Heinrich Hofmann

Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said,
"One thing you lack: Go your way,
sell whatever you have and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven;
and come, take up the cross,
and follow Me."

But he was sad at this word
and went away sorrowful,
for he had great possessions.

- Mark 10:17-22

The Scripture passage about the rich young ruler will always have a special place in my heart.

It was this passage that gripped my heart thirty-six years ago and eventually led me to the foot of the Cross. One of these days I might be able to do a blog post on that life-changing encounter with the Savior of my soul.

But today, I want to write about something else.

Last Sunday, August 16, was the highlight of the events of the week just ended. Although Sunday is the first day of the week, I tend to look at Sundays as the culmination of my week; for me, Sunday is both an ending and a beginning. It ends the week, and it starts another week.

But it isn't often the case that it is the main event.

Ever since I went to Rasa, Switzerland in 1997 where I gained fresh insights into the importance of contemplation and meditation, I have been very much aware of my location statement, and naming my day as tools for staying close to God and aligning with His purposes for my life. I look at my daily, and weekly, events and try to see if there's a pattern in what God might be trying to communicate to me.

This has really helped me keep my focus, and allows me to be on the right track in my Christian journey. As I have discovered through the years, many distractions stand in the way.

If one is serious about his or her relationship with God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, then discerning the Shepherd's voice above all the many voices around us is of utmost importance.

The sailing ship that I am on may sometimes be on turbulent seas but I need not fear, Jesus is the anchor Who keeps me from drifting into treacherous waters.


He is the Captain of my ship. He alone knows the way I should go, He alone can calm the raging waters and keep me safe as I journey to my heavenly destination, my eternal abode.

How crucial it is to stay close to Him, and depend on Him alone!


It has been a busy, fully-booked seven months.

Since Ernie's unexpected death nearly nine months ago, I feel like the ship I'm on - my life - has been taking me to very many new places. On this blog I have tried to write about my journey, still there have been so many stops and discoveries which, due to time constraint, I have not been able to put down in writing.

The greatest comfort in it all is the truth of God's word, like a gentle hand that stays my heart. In the most unexpected way, He speaks to me, reassuring me, reminding me, that He is still there.

That He hasn't given up on me.

That He understands... and He cares.

To be honest, I have condemned and judged myself, increasingly so these past weeks. I want to do more to please Him but there have been too many things to attend to. There have been times when I know I've not given Him first place in my daily priorities.

Being without my husband, my best friend, life is understandably more challenging for me.

Not more difficult, but definitely more challenging.

When my husband was still around, I could always count on him. He seemed to always know what to do, and we went through life sharing the burdens, the decision making, and whatever day to day thing needed to be addressed.

I am not discounting the fact that my God is always there for me...but still it is true: having a husband in flesh and blood beside me did make my life a lot easier to go through.

Nevertheless, in this new voyage I find myself in, God has been ever close, and ever so real.

His word once again ministered to me at church last Sunday. The servant through whom He spoke was a close friend, Dan.

Dan and his wife Jing are beloved friends of mine; they have stood close by Ernie and me through all the years of our friendship. We have enjoyed many meals at their lovely home; their beach house in Pontevedra and farmhouse in the outskirts of Abuanan have served as a venue for me and my friends whenever we needed a quiet place to meet with God.

Dan's message was entitled "Heavenly Treasure," about seeking to build our treasure in heaven where moth, rust, and thieves will never reach it.

Much of what Dan said was relevant to the present global situation.

Any religion that's not founded on the true foundation of Jesus Christ will always be accompanied by greed and immorality.

The root cause of this world's economic woes is extreme greed.

Over-indulgence, or finding pleasure in owning, is a serious malady affecting even so-called Christians who profess to be followers of Jesus Christ.

But Dan's message also ministered deeply to my heart.

Jesus calls us to lay up for ourselves treasures in heaven, the only treasure that satisfies. And we are called to serve and pledge our allegiance to a single Master.

The world in which we live has so deified materialism and justified the religion of self, that we no longer recognize how far from our true center we have strayed.

This message strikes my heart because it reminds me once again of Who my Master is.

In my Christian life, I am not entitled to part-time choices, only a full-time commitment to one Master.

This verse says it straight to the point:

No one can serve two masters.
Either he will hate the one and love the other,
or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.

- Matthew 6:24

For me, the message was two-pronged: remembering where my true riches lie, and remembering who my True Master is.

It was indeed a timely word for my heart.

How I want to be free, and not tied down by earthly concerns, ready to follow my Master wherever He may lead me!

These lines penned by G. Campbell Morgan that Dan used to close his message brought tears to my eyes:

You are to remember with passion burning within you that you are not the child of today.

You are not of the earth, you are more than dust, you are the child of tomorrow, you are of the eternities, you are the offspring of Deity.

The measurements of your lives cannot be circumscribed by the point where the blue sky kisses the green earth.

All the facts of your life cannot be encompassed in the one small sphere upon which you live.

You belong to the infinite.

If you make your fortune on the earth - poor, sorry, silly soul - you have made a fortune and stored it in a place where you cannot hold it.

Make your fortune but store it where it will greet you in the dawning of the new morning.

Last Sunday's sermon at our church was once again used by my heavenly Father as an anchor to make my heart feel secure in Him. He alone is my haven of rest!

--0--

Below are pictures of what has been happening in my life the past week. Posting them is a graphic way of sharing a slice of my life journey with my blog friends.

I arrived in Manila for the pamanhikan Monday evening, August, 3 last week. The following morning, Obedient One and I had breakfast at the McCafe near her office. After she left for work, I stayed for a few more hours at the Cafe.

Both Metro Manila and Bacolod City are urban centers, far from mountains or seas. When I want to have an extended time with the Lord, I have discovered that a quiet (or noisy) coffee shop will do just as well.

I just love spending time with my God in a coffee shop!

My favorite breakfast: pancakes and syrup with a hot chocolate drink

Lunch: Chicken McNuggets, rice, and a tumbler of Coke. Not too healthy, but that day I had a good excuse.

This was taken just before First-Born, Obedient One, Worshiper, and I left for the pamanhikan on Sunday evening.

My gifts of grace for Madorra, Chosen's mom:

Special handicraft products from Bacolod City

A box of really special pastries topped with grated queso de bola (a special kind of Edam cheese)

Home cooked chicken binakol, my specialty!

A picture of Madorra, Chosen (Worshiper's fiancee) and Daniel that I took after the pamanhikan

Saying goodbye to Metro Manila:
On August 10, the day before my return flight to Bacolod City, I once again had breakfast at McCafe together with Obedient One. Below are two of the snapshots I took of Global City on my way to the bus stop.

As I walk, I feel like singing, for these past 8 days that I spent in Manila have given me such a sense of fulfillment. One very important step needed in the forthcoming marriage of Worshiper and Chosen One has been taken. Little hints of joy once again evident in the eyes of Obedient One. The snapshots below show an ultra modern city in the making, tall buildings, drainage pipes...all of which speak of a forward movement in my family's life. Thank you dear Father for the message of hope you are speaking to me in the things I see around me!







Upon arrival in Bacolod City on August 11:
I visited my grandson Matthew who was in hospital, but praise God, when I saw him, he was about to be discharged. This is a picture of this happy baby, on his hospital bed.



In the evening, on the same day that I arrived back in Bacolod City, our ministry team met for our weekly teambuilding meeting at our Family Foundations International-Philasia (FFI) ministry office.

Standing, from left to right: Raffy, Bjorn, Nikki, Trudi, Honey Grace, me, Ruby and William
Sitting, from left to right: Joey, Dennis, Mitch and Jessa (visiting from New Zealand), Tata

From the FFI meeting, Trudi and I went straight to Tina's home for our weekly care group meeting:

At the back: Tina, Linda, me, Rose, Janice, Trudi and Arlene

Lady in front: Melva

On Thursdays we meet at the home of Dan and Jing for our weekly Women of Purpose mentoring sessions under me. The Women of Purpose is the women's group at our church, committed to pursuing a relationship of intimacy with God.

Standing at the back: me, Julie, Elena, Jing, and Trude
Seated: April, Ronalee, Mayang, Indang, and Janice

The weekend just ended, I enjoyed spending with my family, with my pets, and with my plants:

Matthew showing off his new hooded bath towel

Here's a picture of me, gving the grass a badly needed "haircut"!

And below are some pictures that I took this weekend of the new flowers in my garden:












My two pet dogs:

Sammy, my Basset hound and dachshund mix breed about to sleep at her favorite rocking chair

Patches, my black, grey, and brown dachshund resting on our front steps

This picture of Matthew was taken early this morning, when I took him around our village on his stroller. He just loved the cool morning breeze. When he saw my camera, he gave me this sweet smile!

Out of the Woods

"Light at the End of the Tunnel" by James Anderson

And without faith it is impossible to please God,
because anyone who comes to Him
must believe that He exists
and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

- Hebrews 11:6

My 8:55 a.m. flight back to Bacolod City touched down at exactly 9:35 a.m., twenty minutes ahead of schedule!

The flight was smooth, and it felt like the plane was just gliding through the clouds. After six days of stormy weather, we finally saw the sun, for a change.

In fact, the weather bulletin for this day read,

As of today August 11, 2009, no tropical cyclone existing within Philippine Area of Responsibility.

Surely it was an indicator of the "weather conditions" in my current circumstances as well!



Obedient One and I woke up at 5 30 a.m. This gave us enough time to get dressed and have a quick breakfast together before leaving for the airport. I always like taking the mid-morning flight out of Manila, whenever possible. It gives me the opportunity to drop off my daughter at her place of work on my way to the Centennial Airport. Within the 40 minutes that it takes to reach her office we are able to talk some more, and pray together.

Leaving Obedient One behind this time was not as difficult for me as the last time. As many of you know, she went through an emotional storm last month.

Thank you dear friends for praying for her. Her inner joy has returned, not completely, but I know she's out of the woods. I do praise God for this. This is what a mom is for. Not to deprive her of precious opportunity to try out her new wings, but to be as a mother eagle flying under the eaglet as she ventures further out into the world. It was indeed worth all the effort, time, and money I spent to be with her at the time she needed emotional and spiritual support.

Picture of Obedient One taken last Sunday,
just before we left our home for the pamanhikan at Chosen's house

While praying for my daughter a few weeks ago, I asked God to lead me on the right track. I needed to be sure that I was praying "on target, hitting the mark" prayers, praying the prayers that are on my Father's heart, not simply my own.

He showed me the picture of a girl under an umbrella. You will understand the surge of joy that flooded my heart after I tell you this story:

Obedient One loves necklaces. One Sunday after church, a few months ago, we went to Greenhills to eat lunch and look at the shops. A bronze necklace caught her fancy. It had a unique pendant, a little girl under a big umbrella.

When God showed that picture, I was immediately reminded of my daughter's bronze necklace. God whispered these comforting words in my heart, "She has a big umbrella over her, Me. She is safe, she just needs to stay under my protection and care."

Amazing, but it was God who led my daughter to purchase that beautiful necklace.

We almost didn't buy it. But after thinking it over while eating our lunch, she finally decided in favor of buying it.

Obedient One's storm had something to do with obedience. Her choice to obey God rather than her own heart brought her much emotional pain, but in obeying her heavenly Father, she was able to tap on to His supernatural strength. One obedient step may seem small, but it does cause our faith to grow several notches higher!

As he was about to end his preaching last Sunday, Pastor Edgar said these timely words: Faith is like a muscle, if we don't use it, it will atrophy.

Obedient One has also joined a small group in her office that meets one night a week after work to study God's word. Another small step in the right direction!

Here is a closer look at that girl-with-umbrella necklace:

From the Bacolod airport, Worshiper brought me to Riverside Medical Center where my grandson Forerunner has been staying for the past four days, starting Saturday morning.

His pediatrician wanted to be sure the baby was given proper medical attention. Matthew's cough and fever had turned out to be a case of penumonia; hospital care was indeed important.

Praise God for the healing.

Forerunner was discharged yesterday afternoon and medication can be continued at home. We appreciate your prayers for his full recovery. Let's ask the Father that Matthew will be able to keep the medicines down, and that he will regain the appetite he has lost.

We remember to put our trust in Jehovah Rophe, the God our Healer.

Clap your hands so gaily...

A doggy and a flowery welcome awaited me when I got home. Below are a few pictures taken upon my arrival.


My stargazer lilies, yellowbells, red euphorbias in full bloom:









My dog Sammy, getting ready to fall asleep in my arms again!

It's so good to be back.

Thank you, my dear friends and loved ones who have been a part of my life journey through this blog. I truly appreciate the fact that we meet often at God's throne of grace.

God Himself is our reward!


Related Post:
To My Daughter: If I Could

I Love the Philippines-5: Ruby Tuesday Signs

Signs of the Times, Philippine Style
A Ruby Tuesday post

Originated by Mary/The Teach at Work of the Poet




I've always been fascinated by the Ruby Tuesday posts of some of my blog friends, particularly the one's I've seen on Felisol's blog.

It brings out one's creativity and ingenuity.

So today, I decided to do my very first Ruby Tuesday post.

The idea is to post one or more pictures of something red on a Tuesday.


Here's the story behind the pictures:

Last Sunday, Obedient One and I went to Trinoma Mall after church. We had a delicious lunch of crispy fried spring chicken at Max's, then later in the afternoon we looked at some of the shops.

The number of red signs and many other interesting red objects caught my eye.

Two musicians were in the lobby playing Filipino classical music on the horn and guitar. I just had to take a photo of them when they began playing Ikaw, a Filipino love song that Ernie and I loved...

A fresh flower arrangement by the escalator is just so lovely in its simple elegance...

A cozy nook serving the best tasting coffee I've ever tried...

A pastry shop...

A number of bookstores, teen fashion boutiques, shoes, and tee shirt shops...

What an enjoyable day my daughter and I had together. Isn't it a beautiful thing when your daughter grows up to be your best friend!


Here are some of the shots that I took:





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Listen to Ikaw, a Filipino love song as sung by Regine Velasquez: