Healing of the Blind Man
photo credit
The lamp of the body is the eye.
If therefore your eye is good,
your whole body will be full of light.
But if your eye is bad,
your whole body will be full of darkness.
If therefore the light that is in you is darkness,
how great is that darkness!
- Matthew 5:22-23
I will bring the blind by a way they did not know;
I will lead them in paths they have not known.
I will make darkness light before them,
And crooked places straight.
These things I will do for them,
And not forsake them.
- Isaiah 42:16
Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,
“This is the way, walk in it,”
Whenever you turn to the right hand
Or whenever you turn to the left.
- Isaiah 30:21
The other title of this post could be: The Anatomy of a Blindness. For here I share how a good intention and a good plan unexpectedly turned sour, and how God opened my eyes to see what happened.
These past few weeks the phrase blind spots has been very much on my mind.
Recently, a dear friend who was coming out of depression seemed unaware of the effect of her words and actions on others. A few well-meaning acquaintances asked me what help we as the body of Christ could extend to her.
My initial response was for us to leave well enough alone.
But I could not turn my back away from this question: if I truly cared, can I look at what's happening and not lift a finger to help?
With this in mind, I looked at the possibility of meeting with this friend. I spoke with her husband to tell him of the plan. We agreed on a date when he and his wife and I could get together.
My plan never materialized.
She found out some of the things I had mentioned in private to her husband, who probably shared them with her prematurely.
The next thing I knew, I was the bad guy, and was accused of having misrepresented her.
This was not what I expected. All I wanted was a meeting that would be a safe environment for us to talk...in an atmosphere of love where she would not be threatened. But her husband told her the things I mentioned to him before we could even come together, and because she saw it as a threat, her wall of self protection came up very fast.
I am certain that her husband meant no harm in telling her. He was probably just giving her the reason for the meeting. But she read his words differently. She went on defensive mode.
Obviously "the enemy" had set up a scheme behind the scenes. What I had envisioned to be a life-giving meeting turned out exactly the opposite.
The persons who had come to me in the first place with their observations chose not to own up to what they had told me. I ended up being the one holding my own heart in my hand, looking in from the outside of her life, so to speak.
From being the person walking with her in the dark night of her soul, overnight, I had become the enemy.
A few days after that incident, I left for Manila to attend the Elijah House School. Needless to say I left with a heavy heart.
Much as I tried to shrug my feelings off, I could not. After all, my intentions were honest. All I really wanted was to help. I thought I was going to do her good, willing to be a mirror that would reflect back to her what she was probably not aware of.
After the time spent at the Elijah House school I went back home, certain that the broken relationship could be easily patched up. But on several occasions that I had seen my friend, she indicated by her body language that she wants nothing to do with me.
I realized that it was not going to be as easy as I thought. Because of her deep-seated rejection issues, she welcomed me to speak into her life only while she was undergoing depression. But once she was out of the tunnel...it was a different story.
JOHARI Window
Years ago, in a teaching given by Jeff Littleton of Youth With a Mission (YWAM), we learned about the JOHARI window, a very useful model to help us understand the way we relate to others. Named after the first names of the inventors Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, the said window divides our personal awareness into four parts represented by four quadrants: Open, Blind, Hidden, and Unknown.
The Open area is the arena where we play out our lives. Some things are obvious in face to face relationships. Not much effort is required in the factual information that we willingly share with others. But in a healthy relationship, even in today's cyber friendships cultivated on the social networking sites, this quadrant should be getting bigger, through what is known as self-disclosure.
Feelings, motives, wants, desires... these are usually found in the Hidden quadrant, but with self-disclosure, they can be moved up to the Open quadrant, thus making room for honesty and transparency, two main ingredients needed to build healthy, authentic relationships.
The Blind area is where others see things about yourself that you are not aware of.
The Unknown quadrant contains things about us that are not known to any human being. However the truth remains that nothing is hidden from God.
In this area are kept the hidden pieces of the puzzle, circumstances and events in our past that have shaped the way we think and feel, the root or origin of our present day issues. When we get to know some of these things, they help us understand why we act or react the way we do.
It was about the Unknown area of my life and of others that I sensed God speaking. There are many things not known about the other person, and this is true of me as well!
But the more open I am to God, the closer I draw to Him, the easier it is for Him to speak to me about the things I need to understand.
It is the blind and unknown areas of our life that drive us to seek God.
God Sheds Light
The incident shared at the beginning of this post was used by God to show me something in the Unknown quadrant of my life.
Although I was hesitant to talk about this event on my blog, I now have peace in sharing it here. Being transparent about my difficult circumstances helps expand the Open quadrant of my own Johari window.
This is where I am in my spiritual journey, and the realizations form a crucial part of the healing process.
While I was at the Elijah House, God began to shed light on this, and enabled me to understand what happened.
My true motives for wanting to "help" my friend had sprung out of a problem solver mentality. If she had a problem, then I would be there to help her solve it.
This was not necessarily a bad thing. What I overlooked was the truth that in God's kingdom He is the one who gives out the assignment to do certain tasks. I simply went ahead without seeking confirmation if this was something that He wanted me to do.
Another thing I realized was the importance of timing. In God's kingdom things operate under a different timetable. God waits for the fullness of time, the ripening of the fruit, even a seemingly bad fruit. I did not seek His go signal for this.
I had also underestimated the role of the kingdom of darkness in this. The spirit of death easily defiles and contaminates, and will not easily give up its territory. In a real sense, I entered enemy territory without taking necessary precautions. I was blind sided.
Hindsight helps me to understand what happened, but if I had used foresight, a lot of heartache could have been avoided!
The past days, my devotional readings seemed to warn me about being wise in my own eyes:
Recently, a dear friend who was coming out of depression seemed unaware of the effect of her words and actions on others. A few well-meaning acquaintances asked me what help we as the body of Christ could extend to her.
My initial response was for us to leave well enough alone.
But I could not turn my back away from this question: if I truly cared, can I look at what's happening and not lift a finger to help?
With this in mind, I looked at the possibility of meeting with this friend. I spoke with her husband to tell him of the plan. We agreed on a date when he and his wife and I could get together.
My plan never materialized.
She found out some of the things I had mentioned in private to her husband, who probably shared them with her prematurely.
The next thing I knew, I was the bad guy, and was accused of having misrepresented her.
This was not what I expected. All I wanted was a meeting that would be a safe environment for us to talk...in an atmosphere of love where she would not be threatened. But her husband told her the things I mentioned to him before we could even come together, and because she saw it as a threat, her wall of self protection came up very fast.
I am certain that her husband meant no harm in telling her. He was probably just giving her the reason for the meeting. But she read his words differently. She went on defensive mode.
Obviously "the enemy" had set up a scheme behind the scenes. What I had envisioned to be a life-giving meeting turned out exactly the opposite.
The persons who had come to me in the first place with their observations chose not to own up to what they had told me. I ended up being the one holding my own heart in my hand, looking in from the outside of her life, so to speak.
From being the person walking with her in the dark night of her soul, overnight, I had become the enemy.
A few days after that incident, I left for Manila to attend the Elijah House School. Needless to say I left with a heavy heart.
Much as I tried to shrug my feelings off, I could not. After all, my intentions were honest. All I really wanted was to help. I thought I was going to do her good, willing to be a mirror that would reflect back to her what she was probably not aware of.
After the time spent at the Elijah House school I went back home, certain that the broken relationship could be easily patched up. But on several occasions that I had seen my friend, she indicated by her body language that she wants nothing to do with me.
I realized that it was not going to be as easy as I thought. Because of her deep-seated rejection issues, she welcomed me to speak into her life only while she was undergoing depression. But once she was out of the tunnel...it was a different story.
JOHARI Window
Years ago, in a teaching given by Jeff Littleton of Youth With a Mission (YWAM), we learned about the JOHARI window, a very useful model to help us understand the way we relate to others. Named after the first names of the inventors Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, the said window divides our personal awareness into four parts represented by four quadrants: Open, Blind, Hidden, and Unknown.
The OPEN quadrant represents the information that we know about ourselves and that also is obvious to others.
The HIDDEN quadrant represents personal information known only to us: our life experiences, our thoughts, feeling, dreams…all of that information is within you and it is this information that we share with others.
The BLIND quadrant refers to information that others know about us, but that we don’t know about ourselves.
The UNKNOWN quadrant refers to personal information that is known to no one—not even ourselves.
Information taken from The Road to Well Being: Springs of Emotional Expression.
The Open area is the arena where we play out our lives. Some things are obvious in face to face relationships. Not much effort is required in the factual information that we willingly share with others. But in a healthy relationship, even in today's cyber friendships cultivated on the social networking sites, this quadrant should be getting bigger, through what is known as self-disclosure.
Feelings, motives, wants, desires... these are usually found in the Hidden quadrant, but with self-disclosure, they can be moved up to the Open quadrant, thus making room for honesty and transparency, two main ingredients needed to build healthy, authentic relationships.
The Blind area is where others see things about yourself that you are not aware of.
The Unknown quadrant contains things about us that are not known to any human being. However the truth remains that nothing is hidden from God.
In this area are kept the hidden pieces of the puzzle, circumstances and events in our past that have shaped the way we think and feel, the root or origin of our present day issues. When we get to know some of these things, they help us understand why we act or react the way we do.
It was about the Unknown area of my life and of others that I sensed God speaking. There are many things not known about the other person, and this is true of me as well!
But the more open I am to God, the closer I draw to Him, the easier it is for Him to speak to me about the things I need to understand.
It is the blind and unknown areas of our life that drive us to seek God.
God Sheds Light
The incident shared at the beginning of this post was used by God to show me something in the Unknown quadrant of my life.
Although I was hesitant to talk about this event on my blog, I now have peace in sharing it here. Being transparent about my difficult circumstances helps expand the Open quadrant of my own Johari window.
This is where I am in my spiritual journey, and the realizations form a crucial part of the healing process.
While I was at the Elijah House, God began to shed light on this, and enabled me to understand what happened.
My true motives for wanting to "help" my friend had sprung out of a problem solver mentality. If she had a problem, then I would be there to help her solve it.
This was not necessarily a bad thing. What I overlooked was the truth that in God's kingdom He is the one who gives out the assignment to do certain tasks. I simply went ahead without seeking confirmation if this was something that He wanted me to do.
Another thing I realized was the importance of timing. In God's kingdom things operate under a different timetable. God waits for the fullness of time, the ripening of the fruit, even a seemingly bad fruit. I did not seek His go signal for this.
I had also underestimated the role of the kingdom of darkness in this. The spirit of death easily defiles and contaminates, and will not easily give up its territory. In a real sense, I entered enemy territory without taking necessary precautions. I was blind sided.
Hindsight helps me to understand what happened, but if I had used foresight, a lot of heartache could have been avoided!
The past days, my devotional readings seemed to warn me about being wise in my own eyes:
Do not be wise in your own eyes:
Fear the Lord and depart from evil.
It will be health to your flesh,
And strength to your bones.
Fear the Lord and depart from evil.
It will be health to your flesh,
And strength to your bones.
- Proverbs 3:7
Do not be wise in your own opinion.
- Romans 12:16
- Romans 12:16
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
- Proverbs 26:12
The phrase "to be wise in your own eyes" strikes me because once again it refers to spiritual pride, one of the underlying causes of spiritual blindness.
Spiritual blindness is such a fearful thing because it makes one believe that everything is all right when in fact it isn't!
The Laodicean church was a church suffering from spiritual blindness, and Jesus had this to say:
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
- Proverbs 26:12
The phrase "to be wise in your own eyes" strikes me because once again it refers to spiritual pride, one of the underlying causes of spiritual blindness.
Spiritual blindness is such a fearful thing because it makes one believe that everything is all right when in fact it isn't!
The Laodicean church was a church suffering from spiritual blindness, and Jesus had this to say:
Because you say, 'I am rich, have become wealthy,
and have need of nothing,'--
and do not know that you are wretched, miserable,
poor, blind, and naked--
I counsel you to buy from Me
gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich;
and white garments, that you may be clothed,
that the shame of your wickedness may not be revealed,
and anoint your eyes with eye salve,
that you may see.
- Revelation 3:17-18
There are other causes of spiritual blindness. Disobedience, hardness of heart, cynicism, intellectualism, fear, and unbelief are some of them.
But the Lord is pointing His finger at spiritual pride in me.
A few months ago I would not have readily admitted to this. But the weeks at Elijah House had prepared me to recognize my need.
I asked God to deliver me from any form of spiritual blindness.
Bowing before Jehovah El Roi, the God Who Sees, I asked Him to remove blinders from my spiritual eyes...to remove the plank of wood blocking my eyes that might be preventing me to see clearly before I attempt to remove a speck of dust from another person's eye.
This is a humbling experience.
I remember having gone through this before, but as I said in a previous post, God brings us to the same point in a spiral and takes us up higher. Our complete healing has already been done at the cross, but it is an ongoing process; it takes place in our hearts, layer by layer.
George Morisson says:
To comfort me, God spoke very clearly two days ago:
Psalm 32:8 - I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.
Psalm 33:18 - Behold the eye of the Lord is upon those who fear him, upon those who hope in his mercy.
God is saying that nothing is beyond hope. He will guide me, and teach me. I just have to get my heart ready for the next step. For now, it is wise to wait before God and ask Him to work in the unresolved issues in my life, in His time.
I may appear unperturbed, and my words may sound peaceful, but it is not easy. Everything in me wants to defend myself, to explain my side, in the same way I know that my friend also wants to defend herself from what she believes are false accusations that have originated with me.
But I want to learn my lesson... and wait on God. I entrust the situation to Him, waiting for the right doors to be opened. At the opportune moment, we will walk through these doors. It is all in God's hands; His timing is perfect.
It goes without saying that I am truly sorry for the false relational messages that have somehow reached my friend, even though I must admit that it was not completely my fault.
I'm 57, my friend is 59. You'd think that at this age it would be easy to stop acting like little girls, put down our defensive weapons, and just give the other person the benefit of the doubt. And I've asked, Why is it so hard to walk down the path of grace and maturity? When will the healing come?
To be honest, one can feel trapped in a cycle that just keeps repeating. If we are not careful the unsuspecting ones can all be caught in a demonic web intense self-focus.
Yes, it's easy to point a finger and shift the blame toward those who have contributed to this mess, but even that, I have chosen not to do. Oftentimes, for deep healing to take place, a genuine atmosphere of forgiveness has to be present.
The choice to remain humble and unoffended in situations like these does not come naturally. It requires the grace of God to generate an inner response that is God-honoring.
I thank God for bringing me to another healing season. Having my own personal space such as this blog where I can articulate and put my feelings into words is such a big help.
Moving On
Having said all these, let me now rest my case.
I choose to rest in the love and forgiveness of God. My sins have already been paid for by the death of Jesus on the cross!
Life moves forward; I hear the upward call of the Father on my life.
Come, up higher my daughter, there is still much work waiting to be done in My kingdom.
Life is just too beautiful to stay stuck in regret, anger, unforgiveness and offense! As God is bringing me to my autumn season, the stripping process also includes letting go of hurts, self-focus, self protection, self blame...
I won't waste my sorrows, but rather learn the lessons that they bring. I embrace this season, and will be patient in the waiting.
And sometimes we need to walk away... to provide space, to gain perspective.
Seasons come, seasons go...there is so much hope in each new day as it comes!
Just now my heart brims over with joy at all that life has to offer in the midst of our struggles... so much beauty from the ash heap of our lives!
A special thanks to my friend Maryleigh whose email helped clarify some things for me, enabling me to put a closure to this incident and allowing me to walk away in peace and leave the matter in God's hands.
This powerful song is a fitting to end this post, and so let me share it with all of you, my dear friends!
Power of Your Love
by Hillsong
Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I've found in You
And Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I will rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As You live in me
Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the power of Your love
Hold me close...
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
and have need of nothing,'--
and do not know that you are wretched, miserable,
poor, blind, and naked--
I counsel you to buy from Me
gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich;
and white garments, that you may be clothed,
that the shame of your wickedness may not be revealed,
and anoint your eyes with eye salve,
that you may see.
- Revelation 3:17-18
There are other causes of spiritual blindness. Disobedience, hardness of heart, cynicism, intellectualism, fear, and unbelief are some of them.
But the Lord is pointing His finger at spiritual pride in me.
A few months ago I would not have readily admitted to this. But the weeks at Elijah House had prepared me to recognize my need.
I asked God to deliver me from any form of spiritual blindness.
Bowing before Jehovah El Roi, the God Who Sees, I asked Him to remove blinders from my spiritual eyes...to remove the plank of wood blocking my eyes that might be preventing me to see clearly before I attempt to remove a speck of dust from another person's eye.
This is a humbling experience.
I remember having gone through this before, but as I said in a previous post, God brings us to the same point in a spiral and takes us up higher. Our complete healing has already been done at the cross, but it is an ongoing process; it takes place in our hearts, layer by layer.
George Morisson says:
The victorious Christian life is a series of new beginnings.
To comfort me, God spoke very clearly two days ago:
Psalm 32:8 - I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye.
Psalm 33:18 - Behold the eye of the Lord is upon those who fear him, upon those who hope in his mercy.
God is saying that nothing is beyond hope. He will guide me, and teach me. I just have to get my heart ready for the next step. For now, it is wise to wait before God and ask Him to work in the unresolved issues in my life, in His time.
I may appear unperturbed, and my words may sound peaceful, but it is not easy. Everything in me wants to defend myself, to explain my side, in the same way I know that my friend also wants to defend herself from what she believes are false accusations that have originated with me.
But I want to learn my lesson... and wait on God. I entrust the situation to Him, waiting for the right doors to be opened. At the opportune moment, we will walk through these doors. It is all in God's hands; His timing is perfect.
It goes without saying that I am truly sorry for the false relational messages that have somehow reached my friend, even though I must admit that it was not completely my fault.
I'm 57, my friend is 59. You'd think that at this age it would be easy to stop acting like little girls, put down our defensive weapons, and just give the other person the benefit of the doubt. And I've asked, Why is it so hard to walk down the path of grace and maturity? When will the healing come?
To be honest, one can feel trapped in a cycle that just keeps repeating. If we are not careful the unsuspecting ones can all be caught in a demonic web intense self-focus.
Yes, it's easy to point a finger and shift the blame toward those who have contributed to this mess, but even that, I have chosen not to do. Oftentimes, for deep healing to take place, a genuine atmosphere of forgiveness has to be present.
The choice to remain humble and unoffended in situations like these does not come naturally. It requires the grace of God to generate an inner response that is God-honoring.
I thank God for bringing me to another healing season. Having my own personal space such as this blog where I can articulate and put my feelings into words is such a big help.
Moving On
Having said all these, let me now rest my case.
I choose to rest in the love and forgiveness of God. My sins have already been paid for by the death of Jesus on the cross!
Life moves forward; I hear the upward call of the Father on my life.
Come, up higher my daughter, there is still much work waiting to be done in My kingdom.
Life is just too beautiful to stay stuck in regret, anger, unforgiveness and offense! As God is bringing me to my autumn season, the stripping process also includes letting go of hurts, self-focus, self protection, self blame...
I won't waste my sorrows, but rather learn the lessons that they bring. I embrace this season, and will be patient in the waiting.
And sometimes we need to walk away... to provide space, to gain perspective.
Seasons come, seasons go...there is so much hope in each new day as it comes!
Just now my heart brims over with joy at all that life has to offer in the midst of our struggles... so much beauty from the ash heap of our lives!
A special thanks to my friend Maryleigh whose email helped clarify some things for me, enabling me to put a closure to this incident and allowing me to walk away in peace and leave the matter in God's hands.
This powerful song is a fitting to end this post, and so let me share it with all of you, my dear friends!
Power of Your Love
by Hillsong
Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I've found in You
And Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I will rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As You live in me
Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the power of Your love
Hold me close...
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
18 comments:
The Johari window is very interesting. I can see that it is a useful tool.
Thanks for sharing this painful incident, because I think it will be helpful to others.
Praying that your friend will understand your intent and that reconciliation will take place.
Oh Lidj.. I can so relate. Thank you so much for your beautiful transparency. After a lifetime of NEVER fighting or arguing with friends, I seem to have lost 2 of my oldest and most precious friends just in the last 3 months. Sometimes it seems God takes us off on our own for a while, or those people on their own for a while, to achieve his purposes individually in all those lives. For me (unknown to me but thank God it was revealed!) a spirit of control was at play.. feeling I was to be the one to 'help' and always 'be there' and perhaps it became too much for everyone involved after many years.. God wanted to be the one taking that place of importance in their lives that I seemed to try and take up.. Praying that there is a reunion, in the right time.. much love to you.
A minister one time suggested that instead of directly talking to our teens and young adults directly - interpreted by them as confrontationally, to pray first - let God move. He may have someone else who can deliver the message successfully! It was hard, but it is so true.
I pray restoration to your relationship. I pray peace to your heart! It is amazing how when we try to hard to Love others through God, and we miss it, that we are doubly hard on ourselves - sometimes to the point of feeling physical pain. I guess that is a heart seeking God.
I created something at Blue Cotton Memory - The Bread Basket Award - No work involved - just a thank you for feeding me when I was weak! You are the first recipient. Thank you Lidj for your heart!
Hopped over from "Blue Cotton Memory," to say hello. So glad I did, for what a blessing I received.
Thanks for sharing your heart, so that others can learn.
Hi Lidj, this is a great post..b/c your heart is in it...with a gentleness and grace...and your comments to me always touch me. Thank you for that...and for being you...Stay strong ok...don't be discouraged. Nikki
Lidj:
I can feel how difficult this was for you. I also see the hope of how God has lead you in your heart. He did give you that tenderness and that desire to reach out and help, but that 'spiral' you talked about is part of His learning curve in us. I can't wait to hear how this prayer and this relationship is changed, but in the meantime, the work in your own heart has made you stronger and is fulfilling what He is doing in Lidj. A truly beautiful post, and one every single one of us can identify with!
Hugs Lidj, for such an honest heart.
Recently I have also be dealing with some conflict problem. I wa s reading a book by Joy Hugget called conflict in which she writes about the Jphari window. I sound that v. helpful
I am looking for a safe enviroment to confront some people about certain matters.
Thank you for your kind comment on my SS post
May the Lord restore you and make you stronger for having gone through this incident. Your heart is in the right place.
Dearest Lidj, It's not always easy to help another, no matter our good intensions. A counsellor is the one who could have handled it best. You ask an open ended question with empathy and take the answers around until the person see's for themselves. There is no controntation, just kindness and love. Finally you ask if they would like prayer and if so, how they would like you to pray? This leaves the ball in their court and helps them feel in control. They will also hopefully see the error of their ways.
You meant what you did for good, so I believe God will use it that way.
We BIND satan away from her life and LOOSEN the Holy Spirit with all the fruits, over her..In Jesus name. Amen.
Hugs dear friend. xxxx
Dear Crystal Mary,
Ah, such wise words of wisdom. Thank you for sharing them with me.
I once heard it said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. How true.
I should have know when to back off and stay away. There's only one Savior of the world, and it's not me!
Again, thank you. This is all part of a valuable learning experience...although sadly at the expense of some relationships.
Love
Lidj
Lidj, I have read the first part of the post and will read the rest later (starting with the block). I have the grandchildren here right now and I don't want to be distracted...I can so relate to what happened to you. I've been there many times. I've found that God uses even these painful times to teach us and make us more like Him. Your transparency is amazing Lidj, and I believe that good will yet come out of what happened and you will be reconciled with your friends. I'll pray for that!
I had a similar experience happen to me a few years ago and I lost two friends because of it...it took awhile to heal and recover from having to walk away and the Lord showed me my first and biggest mistake was not letting him solve the issue. Your post today is a good remimder for me not to let that happen again.I want to take a moment and thank you for your prayers...my husbands medical journey is almost over and he is doing well. I planned on returning to my blog yesterday but the weather is not letting me. Hopefuly tomorrow. :)
Only what i need to ask myself is "Just WHO is in charge here"?
And, when I answer what I know, it becomes obvious, my course of action. And that is: INACTION. And it works sometimes when all else fails....
OTOH (On The Other Hand) if I do nothing, then what have I learned? HA!
Lidj your writing makes me think (a brand new sensation for me!) and so I had to amend first comment. Hope you are "cool" with that.
I sure appreciate your visits, love your writings, as well as the photos on your sidebar of the wedding--and your birthday 2010!
your heart's mirror reflects the heart of God. He is doing a great work in you. He makes everything beautiful in His time, His way. Your transparency spoke to me. I can identify. I appreciate the way that God leads you to share.
Excited to share with you the layers of healing that most certainly will come ..not somehow, but triumphantly! For He is THE HEALER!
Shalom
Patrina <")>><
It is so good to know that our church members are not the only ones going through situations like this!
Dearest Lidj, your situation is again so much like mine in many ways. God showed me that I, too, was led into error by trying to fix things...trying to open the other person's eyes...and it backfired yet again, despite the fact that I, too, was only trying to do this because of how much I love this person. Yet love was the last thing that was heard.
God showed me that He did not call me to fix other things...to open blind eyes. And I did not REALLY seek for His guidance before I spoke. I listened enough to hear a number of "no, don't say that"s...but not long enough to hear His "No, don't say anything."
What you said here about the fullness of time spoke to me. I know that God's timing is perfect, and it hurts things to get ahead of His timing, but I had never thought about how He waits even for bad fruit to ripen.
You said, "Everything in me wants to defend myself, to explain my side..." I am so there! And yet, when I realized how hard it is to take unjust blame and accusation, I realized that this is obviously an issue that I need to deal with in my heart, for Jesus took both. Just the very fact that I wanted to defend myself showed me more pride, though! ::sigh::
It is truly only through God's grace that I will ever escape the many traps that pride lays for me, or be free from it.
Thank you for sharing this.
I think you are a very wise woman. You are also a life long learner. Some people are never open to learning new things but not you ...or me.
I found it very interesting what you shared about those four boxes. The longer I blog and become more comfortable being exposed, I'm sharing more. I used to be very closed and I think we need to be careful but after speaking with my husband, he's become more comfortable with my sharing more openly from my heart.
Many people tend to like to fix things and people. But we don't always have the answers nor do we understand all that a person has gone through in their lives. Many have walls of self protection up that we may not be aware of. It sounds like this woman was one like that. I believe your motive was good. But I appreciate your willingness to pray about it and be open to what the Lord said to your heart.
You are a wonderful mentor and teacher.
Blessings and love,
Debbie
The Johari window is a very interesting concept. Helpful! Glad to hear you are owning your part in the relationship issue. That is all you can do. Age does not necessarily mean maturity. We will be growing up all our lives and just the time we think we are mature, our self-impressions are knocked out from under us for - as you have noted - the cultivation of humility...
Like you and many, many others, I have walked a similar path. I will pray for your complete peace and healing. The Scripture says, "as much as is in you, live at peace with all (wo)men". You can't be responsible for the part that is not yours.
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