What's In A Name

  Cosmos Flowers Looking up the Skies of Chiang Mai

Photo taken by Melissa Agustin

Chiang Mai, Thailand

January 2008

Let me describe myself as "deep waters." Transparent, but only up to a point. Certain areas in my life must be lived behind the scenes for a season. There are things that my heavenly Father reveals to me, or allows me to go through, that He doesn’t intend for me to share with any other. It’s the inner building of a character, the “hidden person of the heart,” that Peter refers to. The deepening, the living out of a revealed truth, that it may become an integral part of me before I can even begin to talk about it.

I didn’t use to be like this. In my younger days, I would jump at just about any opportunity to share an insight or a new lesson learned. But thank God, one eventually becomes more mellow as the years go by. That’s why the Bible admonished the older women to mentor the younger ones in the ways of wisdom. Discerning when to speak, and when to keep quiet. So writes one of the wisest men who ever lived, Solomon, in Ecclesiastes 3:1:

“To everything there is a season,

a time for every purpose under heaven.”

And yes, I am learning to look at my life in terms of seasons. As I go from one season to the next, I see God’s timing, and the working out of His purposes for me. I have only seen in the painful mistakes and wrong choices of my past, the futility of operating in a season that has already ended. When God is telling me to move on, I know I must.

Understandably, I do not settle for superficial relationships. Intimacy with God is my first priority, and I know that part of my destiny is to be a channel of God’s healing and redemptive purposes. I do want to make an eternal impact in the lives of others.

My parents gave me three names Maria Lidia Feliza. I don’t think they really knew what the names stood for. My mother picked my second name from the calendar on the day I was born, my third name is the name of my grandmother. But when I found out the meaning and spiritual connotation of each one, I was quite amazed.

Maria
meaning: Coming from Bitterness
spiritual connotation: Redeemed

Lidia
meaning: Beautiful Light
spiritual connotation: Worshiper of God

Feliza
meaning: Joy
spiritual connotation: Joy-Bringer

In the Bible, a man’s name was a statement of his job description. Well, it seems that my names were indeed tailor-made for me! There have been many reasons for me to become embittered and hopeless. But one spiritual connotation of my name Maria is "bitter waters made sweet." With joy comes hope—they are two sides of the same coin. And so I pray:

“From the wellspring of my heart, O Lord,
May sweet waters freely flow!
In the lives of people facing darkness,
Let me be Your ray of joy and hope!”

My favorite picture is that of a rainbow. There is something about a rainbow that stirs my heart. It is such a picture of hope and promise! During difficult moments in my life, I have looked up to the heavens and have seen, unexpectedly, a rainbow in the sky.

One of the best things that God ever did for me was to give me a new name. It was 1992, and I was in the middle of one of the most painful seasons of my life. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror because each time I did, I saw an ugly face staring back at me. The road ahead was bleak, and hopeless. 

Then one night God spoke to me. “Get up,” the Voice said. “Stop being despondent.” The One speaking had authority. “Pick up your Bible.” I opened my Bible and started reading from where I had stopped the day before. The next passage was Isaiah 62.

“…you will be called by a new name

that the mouth of the Lord will bestow.

You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord’s hand,

a royal diadem in the hand of your God.”

My heart was beating fast. I knew God was speaking directly to me. I continued reading…

“No longer will they call you Deserted,

or name your land Desolate.

But you will be called Hephzibah,

and your land Beulah;

for the Lord will take delight in you,

and your land will be married….”

I could only kneel and acknowledge the presence of my King. From that moment on, I knew I had been given a new identity, a new name. I was not Ugly, I was Crown of Beauty, a royal diadem in the hand of my God.

Once Heaven touches a person’s heart, it is forever changed. I am no longer my own, I belong to my King forever. Of course, I have my good days and my not-so-good ones... my ups and downs. But my ongoing desire is to draw ever closer to Him, my Heavenly Father, heeding His invitation for an intimate relationship with Him. He is my First Love. He has continued to visit me in my night seasons, He wakens me before dawn. What a great honor and privilege to be summoned, and to be ushered into the King’s presence, waiting quietly for Him to speak throne room secrets into my life.

God has called me to be an intercessor. I am committed to interceding for our nation, the Philippines, and for the nation of Israel as well. I desire to be obedient to His call, to embrace a lifestyle of worship and intercession, and to be a prophetic voice to this generation.

In Psalm 2:8-9 God says,

"Ask of Me and I will give You the nations for Your inheritance,

and the ends of the earth for Your possession.

You shall break them with a rod of iron,

You shall dash them to pieces like a potter’s vessel." 

So be it, Lord. Help me to live up to my name, reflecting Your beauty, radiating Your joy, speaking Your hope into the lives of people you send my way.