photo credit: Allan McKinnon
The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree,
he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon .
Those who are planted in the house of the LORD
shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bear fruit in old age;
they shall be fresh and flourishing,
to declare that the LORD is upright;
He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.”
And behold, I am the God who longs to be gracious to you.
On October 31, at 5 oclock in the morning, I was in my prayer room, reading about the episode of the Israelites crossing the raging Jordan River on their way to Canaan . This was a test of faith requiring them to look beyond the physical to the realm of the unseen.
I began to write my journal entry for that day:
I began to write my journal entry for that day:
“There are spiritual landmarks that have marked my life journey. Through wilderness experiences, Red Sea crossings, marching around fortified city walls...on the way to the land of promise. Your desire, dear Father, is for me to build an altar at significant points along the way. Each altar is to serve as a reminder for me to pause for worship, to pledge allegiance to You alone, to be reminded once again that the One Who gave life holds it in His hands.
“Why do I need reminders? Because it is so easy to lose sight of this. In the passage I just read, Joshua was instructed to pick out stones of remembrance from the Jordan – the place of dependence, the place of deliverance, the place of obedience.
“The stones of remembrance remind me of my own places of dependence, complete dependence on my Maker. There are places in my journey where human strategies will eventually fail and human effort will not suffice."
This was the final paragraph for that day’s entry:
“Why do I need reminders? Because it is so easy to lose sight of this. In the passage I just read, Joshua was instructed to pick out stones of remembrance from the Jordan – the place of dependence, the place of deliverance, the place of obedience.
“The stones of remembrance remind me of my own places of dependence, complete dependence on my Maker. There are places in my journey where human strategies will eventually fail and human effort will not suffice."
This was the final paragraph for that day’s entry:
“On November 2, two days from now, Ernie will turn 60. It is a milestone, a stone of remembrance. I will build an altar. We will celebrate his birthday as a reminder of the Lord’s goodness to our family. I sense, dear Father, that you are giving me Psalm 92:13-15 as your specific word for this special event, a crucial milestone:
The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree,
he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon .
Those who are planted in the house of the LORD
shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bear fruit in old age;
they shall be fresh and flourishing,
to declare that the LORD is upright;
He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.”
Little was I to know that in the days to come, I would draw strength from what God spoke to me that morning. Looking back I realize that He was preparing me for what was to come. In that Joshua passage that I read, I also remember the Lord saying this: "Keep your perspective, focus your eyes on Me, don’t lag behind ... for you have not passed this way before." (paraphrase mine)
The following day, November 1, at 5:30 a.m. Ernie and I brought our second son Jeremy to his place of work, about 2.5 miles (3 kms.) from where we live. The night before we had planned to go to a nearby park this morning to do our usual early morning brisk walking and aerobic exercises. On our way back, Ernie began to have difficulty breathing; he thought it was an asthma attack. He said he had actually started feeling it coming a few minutes after he woke up. So we agreed to cancel our original plan, and go straight home instead, so he could use his nebulizer at once.
Along the way, he started gasping for air, and said, ‘This is getting to be really bad! I think we better go straight to the hospital.” At a certain point, he even felt like giving up, and began to pull over. “Just give me a few minutes to rest,” he said. I knew I had to encourage him so gently I told him, “I think it is best that we reach the hospital right away.”
Unfortunately, I don’t drive, so Ernie was at the wheel all along. The best thing that happened was that it was not yet 6 a.m. and it was All Saint’s Day here, so traffic was very light. The only thing I could think of doing was to tell him that the hospital was almost near (when in fact it was not, it was still 2 miles away!). I also began speaking life to him, declaring that no evil scheme from the kingdom of darkness was going to prosper over him. I spoke to his body, commanded all his air passages to remain open, and for all blocks to loosen up. I have learned a long time ago that we have a God-given authority over our bodies, and that by faith declaration, our bodies can respond to words of life spoken over them. I don’t know how many faith declarations I made over him, all I know is that they just flowed out of my spirit.
Desperately gasping for air, my husband drove until we finally reached the parking lot of Doctor’s Hospital. There were almost no cars in the area, and what a providential thing it was that two hospital orderlies were standing right by the gate. Ernie himself rolled down his window and shouted, “Emergency!” The orderlies rushed for a wheelchair, and by the time Ernie had parked his car, the wheelchair was right by his door.
Well, upon reaching the Emergency Room, again, another providential thing, there were no other patients aside from Ernie. The full ER staff was able to attend to him: two residents on duty, several nurses. They attached him to an oxygen tank, and to a heart monitor. His BP was 230/110, his blood sugar level was 566. All necessary first aid meds were given him. Whatever the doctor told me he was doing, I could only nod my head, and whisper: “Just go ahead.” His oxygen level was 70. They needed to insert a trache tube into his trachea and attach him to a respirator. I understood that even just 5 minutes of no oxygen to the brain could render much untold damage.
After a few minutes, Ernie’s doctor arrived. Bless her heart! Ernie, I was told, had just had a myocardial infarction and that fluid was building up in both lungs. The medical term was pulmonary edema. My husband was literally a drowning man! They started suctioning the fluids out. Meanwhile, Ernie was still gasping for breath, and turning very pale. His eyes had that glazed look, and I stood by helpless, not really knowing what to do or think.
I was not panicking. Somehow, there was an inner peace. I signed all the necessary forms, and made a few calls- to Ernie’s sister, to a British friend and a couple who were our close family friends, and our eldest son Miguel. Just four crucial calls.
The doctor called me aside to show me the results of the lung x-ray just taken. Both lungs were white, indicating fluids had completely filled them up. And she told me something else, she said: “Lidj, your husband is an admirable man. I have seen many cases of pulmonary edema as severe as this, and usually they just die. You were so fortunate to get here on time. Just a few more minutes and it would have been fatal.”
By 8 a.m. we were at the ICU. The long wait began. Will Ernie pull through? While driving he never lost his presence of mind, but Ernie told me later that while at the E.R. he passed out. That must have been when I saw his glazed eyes, blankly staring into nothingness.
I don’t think I was thinking of death... I don’t think I was thinking of anything at all. All I remember was that Psalm 92 passage, "he will still bear fruit in his old age." I was having a quiet conversation with the Lord. “Lord, you said this, but how could I be sure of that in the midst of what I am seeing!”
Meanwhile, news of Ernie’s attack had spread, and many friends had gathered outside the ICU, praying. My friend Ruby started a text prayer brigade, making calls and sending text messages all over the country and the world to ask for prayer support for Ernie.
In moments like these, I realized I could not pray, but I was supported by the prayers of faith of my friends. I held on to my sister-in-law Suzette whose entire family had also gathered outside Ernie’s room. Our pastor on his way out of town turned back to visit Ernie. I could not believe my phone received over a hundred text messages of comfort and prayer support just in a few hours.
After some time Ernie’s breathing became more peaceful, and his vital signs started to normalize. He was responding to the initial meds administered to him to stabilize him. Towards the evening, though, his BP was going down to 90/60...then 80/60. His creatinine count was going up, an indication of kidney malfunction. Zero urine output. Again more urgent prayer needed.
Prayer warriors were allowed briefly to pray at Ernie’s bedside. Some prayed for the reversal of whatever damage had been done to his insides. Some prayed for a mighty miracle, an awesome display of God power.
I wasn’t allowed to remain in the ICU for the night, so at about 10 p.m. I prayed for my husband, read Psalm 91 to him, and kissed him goodnight.
In a way this was a welcome thing. While my friends were around, I was not feeling the strain; they were my support. Someone took me out to lunch, someone took care of my supper. Loved ones showed me in many tangible ways how much they cared for Ernie and me.
Upon reaching home with my two sons, I suddenly felt the sadness and the emptiness of our home. Ernie has always been a positive, joyful presence. He would come whistling through the door. He is a sunshine person. Someone I could depend on. Always appreciative, never demanding. He was supportive of my dreams, and believed in God’s destiny for my life. He is my best friend. We were a team ...he always seemed to know what to do.
I suddenly felt so helpless and alone. Not being used to being just by myself in our bedroom, that night I tossed and turned, and clung to God for solace and comfort. Hugging my Bible, just so I could have something tangible to hug. “Father, I treasure Your Words, and at this moment I just want to keep them close to me.” His presence was real, and I was finally able to sleep for a few hours.
Early the next morning I went back to the ICU. It was Ernie’s 60th birthday. I was surprised at the change that I saw. Urine output had normalized during the night, and his BP was back to normal. His color was healthy, slightly pinkish even. Underneath the tubes and attachments, he smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up sign!
That same morning another lung x-ray was taken. The lungs this time were completely clear of fluids. His cardiologist could not believe that within just 24 hours the lungs were clear. He said that it was a "remarkable, short of a miraculous, recovery." After lunch they removed the respirator after making sure he could breathe on his own, as well as all other attachments. He was back to his talkative self despite the hoarseness due to the irritated throat linings. That evening Ernie ate his first meal in two days.
Initial tests results indicated that he did have a heart attack. However, a 2D Echo test taken the following day, Nov. 3, showed that the heart was not enlarged. Praise the Lord, this indicated that it was a mild attack. But it was a real brush with death, and if we were not at the right place at the right time, we know that things would not have turned out the way they did. We were discharged on November 8, and Ernie, upon his insistence, went back to work the following day, November 9.
Now he is under close medical supervision. We are in the process of lifestyle modification, and he has to have a special diet which I prepare.
I cannot thank God enough for the new life that He has given Ernie at 60. This is indeed a stone of remembrance for my life journey, a new appreciation for my husband whom I came so close to losing. On Ernie’s 60th year, our family entered a season of deeper obedience.
Some months ago, I realized that I needed to be obedient to the Master, not to win His favor, not to enter into a religion of works and trade offs. I simply needed to obey for one thing: to position myself for the breakthroughs that He wants to send our way. His rhema word to me:
The following day, November 1, at 5:30 a.m. Ernie and I brought our second son Jeremy to his place of work, about 2.5 miles (3 kms.) from where we live. The night before we had planned to go to a nearby park this morning to do our usual early morning brisk walking and aerobic exercises. On our way back, Ernie began to have difficulty breathing; he thought it was an asthma attack. He said he had actually started feeling it coming a few minutes after he woke up. So we agreed to cancel our original plan, and go straight home instead, so he could use his nebulizer at once.
Along the way, he started gasping for air, and said, ‘This is getting to be really bad! I think we better go straight to the hospital.” At a certain point, he even felt like giving up, and began to pull over. “Just give me a few minutes to rest,” he said. I knew I had to encourage him so gently I told him, “I think it is best that we reach the hospital right away.”
Unfortunately, I don’t drive, so Ernie was at the wheel all along. The best thing that happened was that it was not yet 6 a.m. and it was All Saint’s Day here, so traffic was very light. The only thing I could think of doing was to tell him that the hospital was almost near (when in fact it was not, it was still 2 miles away!). I also began speaking life to him, declaring that no evil scheme from the kingdom of darkness was going to prosper over him. I spoke to his body, commanded all his air passages to remain open, and for all blocks to loosen up. I have learned a long time ago that we have a God-given authority over our bodies, and that by faith declaration, our bodies can respond to words of life spoken over them. I don’t know how many faith declarations I made over him, all I know is that they just flowed out of my spirit.
Desperately gasping for air, my husband drove until we finally reached the parking lot of Doctor’s Hospital. There were almost no cars in the area, and what a providential thing it was that two hospital orderlies were standing right by the gate. Ernie himself rolled down his window and shouted, “Emergency!” The orderlies rushed for a wheelchair, and by the time Ernie had parked his car, the wheelchair was right by his door.
Well, upon reaching the Emergency Room, again, another providential thing, there were no other patients aside from Ernie. The full ER staff was able to attend to him: two residents on duty, several nurses. They attached him to an oxygen tank, and to a heart monitor. His BP was 230/110, his blood sugar level was 566. All necessary first aid meds were given him. Whatever the doctor told me he was doing, I could only nod my head, and whisper: “Just go ahead.” His oxygen level was 70. They needed to insert a trache tube into his trachea and attach him to a respirator. I understood that even just 5 minutes of no oxygen to the brain could render much untold damage.
After a few minutes, Ernie’s doctor arrived. Bless her heart! Ernie, I was told, had just had a myocardial infarction and that fluid was building up in both lungs. The medical term was pulmonary edema. My husband was literally a drowning man! They started suctioning the fluids out. Meanwhile, Ernie was still gasping for breath, and turning very pale. His eyes had that glazed look, and I stood by helpless, not really knowing what to do or think.
I was not panicking. Somehow, there was an inner peace. I signed all the necessary forms, and made a few calls- to Ernie’s sister, to a British friend and a couple who were our close family friends, and our eldest son Miguel. Just four crucial calls.
The doctor called me aside to show me the results of the lung x-ray just taken. Both lungs were white, indicating fluids had completely filled them up. And she told me something else, she said: “Lidj, your husband is an admirable man. I have seen many cases of pulmonary edema as severe as this, and usually they just die. You were so fortunate to get here on time. Just a few more minutes and it would have been fatal.”
By 8 a.m. we were at the ICU. The long wait began. Will Ernie pull through? While driving he never lost his presence of mind, but Ernie told me later that while at the E.R. he passed out. That must have been when I saw his glazed eyes, blankly staring into nothingness.
I don’t think I was thinking of death... I don’t think I was thinking of anything at all. All I remember was that Psalm 92 passage, "he will still bear fruit in his old age." I was having a quiet conversation with the Lord. “Lord, you said this, but how could I be sure of that in the midst of what I am seeing!”
Meanwhile, news of Ernie’s attack had spread, and many friends had gathered outside the ICU, praying. My friend Ruby started a text prayer brigade, making calls and sending text messages all over the country and the world to ask for prayer support for Ernie.
In moments like these, I realized I could not pray, but I was supported by the prayers of faith of my friends. I held on to my sister-in-law Suzette whose entire family had also gathered outside Ernie’s room. Our pastor on his way out of town turned back to visit Ernie. I could not believe my phone received over a hundred text messages of comfort and prayer support just in a few hours.
After some time Ernie’s breathing became more peaceful, and his vital signs started to normalize. He was responding to the initial meds administered to him to stabilize him. Towards the evening, though, his BP was going down to 90/60...then 80/60. His creatinine count was going up, an indication of kidney malfunction. Zero urine output. Again more urgent prayer needed.
Prayer warriors were allowed briefly to pray at Ernie’s bedside. Some prayed for the reversal of whatever damage had been done to his insides. Some prayed for a mighty miracle, an awesome display of God power.
I wasn’t allowed to remain in the ICU for the night, so at about 10 p.m. I prayed for my husband, read Psalm 91 to him, and kissed him goodnight.
In a way this was a welcome thing. While my friends were around, I was not feeling the strain; they were my support. Someone took me out to lunch, someone took care of my supper. Loved ones showed me in many tangible ways how much they cared for Ernie and me.
Upon reaching home with my two sons, I suddenly felt the sadness and the emptiness of our home. Ernie has always been a positive, joyful presence. He would come whistling through the door. He is a sunshine person. Someone I could depend on. Always appreciative, never demanding. He was supportive of my dreams, and believed in God’s destiny for my life. He is my best friend. We were a team ...he always seemed to know what to do.
I suddenly felt so helpless and alone. Not being used to being just by myself in our bedroom, that night I tossed and turned, and clung to God for solace and comfort. Hugging my Bible, just so I could have something tangible to hug. “Father, I treasure Your Words, and at this moment I just want to keep them close to me.” His presence was real, and I was finally able to sleep for a few hours.
Early the next morning I went back to the ICU. It was Ernie’s 60th birthday. I was surprised at the change that I saw. Urine output had normalized during the night, and his BP was back to normal. His color was healthy, slightly pinkish even. Underneath the tubes and attachments, he smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up sign!
That same morning another lung x-ray was taken. The lungs this time were completely clear of fluids. His cardiologist could not believe that within just 24 hours the lungs were clear. He said that it was a "remarkable, short of a miraculous, recovery." After lunch they removed the respirator after making sure he could breathe on his own, as well as all other attachments. He was back to his talkative self despite the hoarseness due to the irritated throat linings. That evening Ernie ate his first meal in two days.
Initial tests results indicated that he did have a heart attack. However, a 2D Echo test taken the following day, Nov. 3, showed that the heart was not enlarged. Praise the Lord, this indicated that it was a mild attack. But it was a real brush with death, and if we were not at the right place at the right time, we know that things would not have turned out the way they did. We were discharged on November 8, and Ernie, upon his insistence, went back to work the following day, November 9.
Now he is under close medical supervision. We are in the process of lifestyle modification, and he has to have a special diet which I prepare.
I cannot thank God enough for the new life that He has given Ernie at 60. This is indeed a stone of remembrance for my life journey, a new appreciation for my husband whom I came so close to losing. On Ernie’s 60th year, our family entered a season of deeper obedience.
Some months ago, I realized that I needed to be obedient to the Master, not to win His favor, not to enter into a religion of works and trade offs. I simply needed to obey for one thing: to position myself for the breakthroughs that He wants to send our way. His rhema word to me:
For I know the plans I have for you,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
to give you a future and a hope...
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
to give you a future and a hope...
And behold, I am the God who longs to be gracious to you.
Awesome words of promised from one Who alone is the true Life giver.
Thank you dear friends and loved ones for journeying with us in this trial of faith. I know that it was your corporate prayer that moved God to release this mighty miracle into our lives. I will never have enough words to thank you. Many also gave tangible support of love and care. Someone paid for the entire hospital bill. Ernie and I pray for you, that God will richly reward you for giving of your selves at the time we needed it.
Of course we never know what the future holds. But one thing is sure, we are safe in the hands of the One who holds the future. Please continue to pray for Ernie. He has received the healing, and we ask God that time will come when he will have less maintenance meds to take, and that God’s true healing will manifest in his body, making that 2006 birthday promise in Psalm 92 come to pass.
God alone deserves the glory!
Thank you dear friends and loved ones for journeying with us in this trial of faith. I know that it was your corporate prayer that moved God to release this mighty miracle into our lives. I will never have enough words to thank you. Many also gave tangible support of love and care. Someone paid for the entire hospital bill. Ernie and I pray for you, that God will richly reward you for giving of your selves at the time we needed it.
Of course we never know what the future holds. But one thing is sure, we are safe in the hands of the One who holds the future. Please continue to pray for Ernie. He has received the healing, and we ask God that time will come when he will have less maintenance meds to take, and that God’s true healing will manifest in his body, making that 2006 birthday promise in Psalm 92 come to pass.
God alone deserves the glory!
5 comments:
Halelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns! I pray the Lord will use Ernie for many years in His service so that the promised fruit might be displayed for God's glory in eternity. Happy to supply the river stines picture for this great testimony.
Allan Mack
Manang Lidj,
I wonder why God has shown us similar experiences... this article really came alive to me. I remember when I was in my desert experience and the crossing of my jordan river and arriving at my spiritual destination now. It's something that no easy words can describe... but you speak it, you wrote it.. vividly.
loveya! and miss our times together.
P31
Hi Beauty! I've gone back to the first month - but I think Blogger lists them in descending order rather than ascending, so this isn't quite the first post.
Very moving to hear the account of Ernie's heart attack. I wonder how much of our health is in our hands and how much is not. This is still something I'm wanting to find out.
"I simply needed to obey for one thing: to position myself for the breakthroughs that He wants to send our way." I very much identify with this. I'm at a place of obeying 'just because' and because the season demands it. Or ... at least the wisdom of the season demands it. It is a beautiful place to be, and I'm sure God is positioning me (us) in that obedience.
Great to learn about you!
You've referred to this incident in several other posts I've read since, but this is the first time I've read this particular post.
Stones of Remembrance. That is how our mother saw birthdays, too.
Dear Lidj, when I read this, I was just amazed at the way God is with you...what a great gift and blessing your tangible peace was that day.
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