Saying Goodbye

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,

and a time to die...

Ecclesiastes 3:1



My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.
Psalm 62:5-7

Today is the last day of the year 2008.

It has been a good year. If I had the time, my real desire would have been to do a post entitled "The Year 2008 in Pictures." There are just too many things that happened that cannot be put into words. Hopefully, I will still be able to do this in the not too distant future.


But today, as the year is ending, I want to post some pictures from the funeral. It has only been five weeks since Ernie left this world, and this major event signifies the end of a season for me. Painful as it is, I welcome the new season that God has in store as the new year begins.


According to The Stages of Jewish Mourning (an excerpt from Lori Palatnik's book Remember My Soul), the most crucial stage of mourning is the seven-day period from the day of the burial.

From the time of death to the day of the burial, the attention is poured into honoring the person who died: the vigil, the eulogies, the burial arrangements.

But after the burial, the attention shifts to the mourners - the bereaved family and loved ones - left behind. Thus, this seven-day period is observed by the mourners sitting together in a house of mourning, usually the house of the one who died.

Fellow mourners sit with the bereaved; there are no festivities, and there is no need for words. This is a time to cry, to weep with those who weep. This is not a time to belittle the pain, or try to distract the ones grieving from the memory of their loss.

In fact, to be truly discerning, Lori Palatnik writes, those who mourn together with the family are admonished to refrain from asking this question: "How are you?"

It is good and timely advice. Many well-meaning friends had asked me that question over the past weeks, and I was truly at a loss as to how to respond to them.


Well, I am not a Jew, and there have been no hard and fast rules to guide us in our mourning process over the death of Ernie, but nevertheless, God has truly been good to us at this time.

At the time of Ernie's death, his brother Jun and sister-in-law Faith who live in California were visiting us. His youngest sister Leila and her husband Jay had just decided to move back to the Philippines after having lived in the USA for the past twenty-five years. All three of Ernie's siblings were around to mourn his death together with our family.

Even after the burial, our extended family continued to meet nearly everyday to share meals, and our individual recollection of Ernie's good qualities. Jun and Faith went back to the US on November 30, but Faith has continued to keep in touch with me by calling me regularly.

After they left, I was also able to spend much time to be alone with my thoughts and my memories. Ernie's things and personal belongings are still waiting to be sorted out -- but I have not had the energy to do that. I know I will also get to that sooner or later.

The Christmas season has also helped bring about a measure of healing in my heart. Two days before Christmas, we commemorated the first month after Ernie died.

There was one particular day when I woke up and I couldn't keep the tears from flowing. This was just a few days ago, the day that my nephew Joash (Suzette's first grandson) was celebrating his thirteenth birthday and was having his very formal bar barakah ceremony. All throughout the ceremony, my tears were flowing.

A healing moment for me came when I was able to share how I felt with Ernie's two sisters Sue and Leila at the dinner table and all three of us ended up shedding tears together.

There are just a couple more hours left of 2008. Our family has just finished eating our special New Year's Eve dinner together. Before it ends, I want my last post for 2008 to be the pictures from the funeral.

My husband was a humble man, and through his life, he exemplified for us the true meaning of servant-leadership. His funeral was so beautiful, full of dignity and meaning, it was truly a tribute, a celebration of a life well-lived.

Through the funeral, we gave honor to Ernie's body in recognition of the fact that it was sacred for two reasons: it was a temple of the Holy Spirit, and it "housed and served" his spirit and soul while he was still here on earth.



Posted below are some beautiful pictures taken during the vigil and the funeral:

Ernie's body lying in state at the Ikthus Center,

the Equipping Center of our church,
the Baptist Conference Church of Bacolod

Craig Hill, giving a special message
during the memorial service for Ernie
given by Family Foundations International-Philippines

At the Necrological Service for Ernie before the burial
November 26, 2008

A tribute: Ernie's brother, Jun, and his wife Faith

A tribute: Caleb sings "Go the Distance" for his Grand-uncle,
assisted by his grandmother Sue

Obedient One reading the Scripture passage

Worshiper gives a tribute to his father

This is me, reading the Anniversary letter I wrote Ernie
on our 30th wedding anniversary



First Born says Thank You to all who gave support
at our time of grief

A last shot of the open casket before taking it to the graveside

Worshiper and First Born leading the pall bearers
taking the casket from the Ikthus Center
to the funeral limousine

Cadets awaiting the arrival of the funeral entourage

Cadets saluting as the funeral entourage arrives at the Memorial Park

The pall bearers taking the casket to the graveside

Pall bearers: First Born and Worshiper, Ernie's sons;
Jay, Ernie's brother in law, and Jeff, Ernie's nephew;
Vince and Tony, Ernie's nephews;
Jun, Ernie's brother, and
Vito, Ernie's brother in law

Mario, and Pastor Joe, about to officiate at the committal service

The family gathered at the graveside for the committal service before burial

Leila, Ernie's youngest sister, with her husband Jay

First Born, God-Given and Obedient One
in the final viewing before the burial

Flowers for Ernie

Farewell, my dear husband. I will always love you. I know we will meet again someday in heaven.

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
The rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.