A Divine Repositioning

Early morning dew

Call to Me, and I will answer you,
and show you great and mighty things,
which you do not know.

- Jeremiah 33:3

In Leeland's song Carried to the Table, there is a line that strikes me deep -

And I don't see my brokenness anymore,
When I'm seated at the table of the Lord...

The past days that my daughter and I have been taking communion every night has helped me look at my life from a different perspective.

Ever since my husband passed away, although I would go through each day with a sense of acceptance, at the back of my mind would be a feeling of uncertainty. It is difficult to put it into words.

Outwardly I may project the image that I am okay, and moving on. I have made joy my daily choice, because being joyful is like having a steady supply of oil that makes life so much easier and lighter to live.

God's bringing me to the next level.

I want the image that I project to be the true reflection of my inner reality...for my own sanity, but also for the sake of my family. I am their model, I am their leader.

But if I will be honest, there is still a sense of uncertainty in my life.

My husband was a very secure man, and he always seemed to have the answers - for me, and for our children. He had such a positive outlook in life, always something to laugh about. It would be easy for him to see the humorous side of anything.

I've found myself missing him a lot these past weeks. I miss his laughter, his singing, his companionship, the way he affirms me.

The extremely dry season seemed to be taking its toll on my heart.

And the constant giving out in ministry can deplete, dry up my inner resources if I don't take time to refresh myself.

I am involved in a ministry of deep level healing to people with emotional woundedness.

God has confirmed this call upon my life, that He has equipped me with certain spiritual gifts that He wants me to use -- to speak life and healing to the bride of Christ, especially in these last days.

The healing that we minister is not coming from us .. we are merely the channels, the pipelines through which the Father Himself allows His healing oil to flow.

Thus the basic requirement is that the vessel is always clean and ready for the Master's use.

In addition to this healing ministry, I have also been called upon to be a mentor to certain people in our church.

Living this way has given me such a sense of excitement, seeing God confirm His calling on my life, as He allows me to experience breakthroughs in the lives of the people we have been ministering to.

But, these past days, I have been aware of a deep need to be more secure.

I wrote about having lost a sense of permanence in a recent post. A sense of having been uprooted...displaced.

It is understandable, because there have been too many changes happening in my life, one after the other.

Yes, in ministering to the brokenness of people, I have also become very much aware of my own brokenness.

Isaiah 61 is the passage that specifically describes the purpose of my life:

..to preach good tidings to the poor;
...to heal the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn,
to console those who mourn in Zion,
to give them beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that they may be called trees of righteousness,
the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.

But these happen to be the very things I also need!

Because we have been in this ministry for the past ten years, we have been through many experiences, and have acquired ministry skills hands-on. Most of the things we know were not learned from books, but from actual experience.

And there are times when I seem to know all the answers.

But again, looking inside my heart, I don't really know all the answers!

There really is so much uncertainty all around me, as well.

We are on the brink of the greatest harvest, and the greatest spiritual war ever to be fought is probably just around the corner.

I understand that I am merely experiencing in myself the birth pangs of the end of the age.

If we have counted on our riches and material acquisitions to be the basis of our security, we are quickly finding out that these are shaky foundations.

It would be foolish for us not to consider building a new spiritual foundation, made of solid rock, while there is still time.


For it is true. It does seem that everything around us is shifting. What used to work doesn't work anymore.

What we thought was a reliable foundation has begun to crumble right before our eyes.


We are about to enter into a Valley of Decision, and the preparation required is not a one-shot, overnight thing.

A divine repositioning is needed by us all.


And so with all these going on in my heart, God spoke in a real way to me as my daughter and I began observing the Lord's Supper every night.


These are the words that God seemed to be speaking to my heart:


There is only one secure place - and that is My heart.

There is only one certainty, and that is My love.

There is only one unshakable foundation, and that is Me.

Go with the flow of the shifting that is going on around the world.

The earthquakes, and droughts, and hurricanes, and flooding, and volcanic eruptions and economic transitioning...these are just natural manifestations of what is happening in the spiritual realm.


And as we read the words of Scripture to prepare us to partake of the bread and the wine, symbols of the broken body and shed blood of Jesus on the cross:

This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me...

This cup is the new covenant in my blood;
do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me...

For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup,
you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.

- 1 Corinthians 11:23-26

there is a sense of inner peace that gently comes into my heart.

The bread and the wine...are His tangible provisions for you and me to remember Him, His work of redemption...to fight against the spirit of death that seeks to destroy us from within.

With the bread and the wine before me, I am constantly reminded of my provisions for the difficult days that we are now in! The battle has been won, I am on the winning side!


Yes indeed, as I see myself as seated at the table of the Lord, I begin to sense a new resolve rising inside my heart.

I don't want to live from a sense of lack, or brokenness, or heaviness, or unrealized potential.

Lord, return me to a sense of awe - at what You are doing, in the daily events and circumstances of my life.


So often Satan blinds me - us - and we walk through life blind and unable to experience the heavenly realities that God wants us to walk in.

Healing as my norm...provision and fullness ... these are the perspectives from which I want to view my life!

What a big difference it is when I walk in heavenly sunlight, in fullness of joy...what Francis Frangipane calls "the prayed-for version" of my life! (This assumes of course, that I have been praying!)

I am tired of looking at life from the perspective of what it should have or could have been!

The heavenly reality is what I will hold on to!

The choice is mine to live it, to walk it.

I choose love...

I choose hope...

I choose joy...

What has happened in the past, or what people have done, or not done, is not a statement of my eternal value.

My limitations do not define me...they certainly do not.



The message that Butch Yulo spoke to us in church this morning confirmed the very things God was speaking to me.

He said that life seems to be a great big spinning wheel for us. And if we are merely hanging on to the fringes, the outer rim, then we will find many areas of our lives spinning out of control. What we need to do is draw closer to the center, where there is rest.

In the eye of the storm is perfect peace.

Butch said: The center is where the still point is... and there we will be secure.


My Father, I am tired of living with such a sense of being limited, with fear of lack or not having enough...even with thoughts of missing out on or falling short of the destiny that You have planned for me!

No, Lord, my dear God...today my cup will be filled to overflowing. I will not let the enemy steal what Your son Jesus has died for, and purchased with His own precious blood!

Help me to draw near Your heart, that Still Point, where I can rest secure.

Enable me to do what needs to be done, to re-position myself.

Father Your great riches and power are mine today.

Help me to be like Moses who looked to the reward, the eternal and lasting and incorruptible reward.

Today is not just another day -- it is filled with glorious promise and limitless possibilities!

A bromeliad flower in my father's garden, ready to unfold.
Taken a week ago when I was in Manila.

Note: I am grateful to Matt Guerino who has written a Bible study entitled The Prostrate Life. Going through this study about a week ago did help me shift my perspective!