Grace Walk
Walk with Me and work with Me--watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won't try to lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

-Matthew 11:29-30 The Message


Hidden Treasures
One of the most satisfying aspects of writing
is that it can open in us deep wells of hidden treasures
that are beautiful for us as well as for others to see.

-Henri Nouwen in Bread for the Journey

A Modern Day Psaltery
David wrote psalms to express
what was in his heart.
Seeing no need to hide what he felt,
he wrote with sincerity, and with no hidden agenda.
What he felt was never taken against him.
Pray, dear reader, discern my heart between the lines.
Dinah Maria Craik couldn't have said it better:
"Oh the comfort -- the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person --
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out, just as they are,
chaff and grain together;
certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping,
and then, with the breath of kindness
blow the rest away."

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Longing for Things Unseen: Escape from Reality

Autumn by the Lake:1869
by Jasper Francis Cropsey







Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen,
since what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.
- 2 Corinthians 4:17, 18





Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,
the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1






...God, who gives life to the dead
and calls those things which do not exist
as though they did.
- Romans 4:17





Then He touched their eyes, saying,
"According to your faith let it be to you."
-Matthew 9:29






A month has passed since I boarded my flight from Manila to come here. 

While I can think of a number of reasons as to why I am here, I realize that Abba Father alone knows the real purpose of my being here, at this point in time. But I have a sneaking suspicion that it has to do with things He wants to speak to me about - heart to heart.

One of the things I am really enjoying is the cool comfort of my "bedroom" - my home away from home. Located on the second floor, it affords me a beautiful view of the wooded area right in the back yard of my sister's home.  





At nights, I open the window a bit to let some fresh air in. The night sounds that crickets and other insects make provide a different kind of music -  the rhythmic pattern is quite amazing. In the morning, I am awakened by the dawn chorus that greets my ears - tweets, hoots, chirps, warbles, trills, and caws - such a delightful harmony of bird sounds.

What a joy to sit on the carpeted floor by the window where I have carved a cozy devotional corner for myself... the place where I meet with my God. My secret place where I listen to soft worship music, read His word, partake of Holy Communion, and write His special message to me for the day in my journal.

When the temps are low, I keep the window open for a time. There is a sweet scent in the air, and a gentle breeze.




Many times during the day, I come back to this special corner - to listen to music, or to read.

When I visited my friend Melanie last month, she gave me a book written by Mark Buchanan. The book, entitled Things Unseen, is without doubt one of the best books I have read lately. Not only is Mark a great writer, he also puts into words the very things that have been on my heart these past years.

It's been nearly two weeks since I began reading it and yet I am not even halfway through. I am slow reading it, savoring every word, drinking in every line. After finishing one chapter, I go back to read it again. (And no, I have not been paid to do a review of Mr. Buchanan's book.)

Things Unseen. The title alone speaks volumes. And it caught my attention because it is part of my top favorite Bible passage of all:

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen,
since what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.
- 2 Corinthians 4: 18


When Ernie and I spent one year in Chiang Mai, Thailand, about six years ago, I came to understand what it meant to be homesick for my native land. It was also there that Abba Father began to speak to me about being homesick for my heart's true home - heaven.


In Mark Buchanan's book he writes of our inner longing for our final and eternal destination.

"Even in a land flowing with milk and honey, we live estranged, we dwell in tents... No foundation we lay can take away our sense that we're not home yet."

Surely the Israelites experienced this kind of longing first hand. After leaving Egypt they lived in tents in the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land. Each time the cloud moved, they had to be ready to fold up their temporary dwellings, and move with the cloud.

But it is so easy to forget... or to convince ourselves that this is home.

How easy it is to lose sight of the truth that this world is not our home.


Increasingly, especially in the past two decades when God began doing a drastic pruning job in my life, I have become aware of a longing in my heart for heavenly realities.

"Heavenly-mindedness," writes Buchanan, "is sanity. It is the best regimen for keeping our hearts whole, our minds sane."

I couldn't agree with him more.

I was 39 years old when my husband's business collapsed leaving us financially bankrupt after a life of ease and comfort. It was my first major wake-up call, my realization that God was calling me to greater things than just running an immaculate home, raising well-bred children, and having a secure bank account.

Reading John 15, I had often wondered why Abba Father would still prune the branch that was already bearing fruit. In the years of my pruning, I understood. Father is looking for more fruit - fruit that lasts till eternity.

The pruning process was not easy for our family. I had to go through major adjustments, and much of my pain was internal... a battle I fought alone, away from the scrutiny and critical judgment of so-called friends and extended family.

Then, five years ago, my beloved husband passed away.

Another branch bearing fruit was pruned. What a waste of good life. What pain it has brought my heart.

And yet today, I have come to fully understand.

This world is not my home. The Father, the divine Vinedresser wants me to bear fruit that will last forever.

Once or twice I have been called an escapist for viewing life this way. 

"Be realistic. Accept reality for what it is," I was told.

But how does one explain something to those who are tuned in to a different frequency?

And so what a delight it was for me to read these words in Mark Buchanan's book:

"Things Unseen. God calls us to live among them, to set our sights on them, to treasure them against all sorrow, loss, doubt, disappointment."

"But isn't that escapism?" Mark Buchanan asks.

In answer to his own question, he talks about two different kinds of escape. "The first is the escape of one running away from life, who can't endure its disappointments and responsibilities."

The second kind of escape is the escape of the prisoner of war. "All he wants...is to go home."

"A remembrance and an expectancy - a groaning for home. A longing that sustains us no matter how dark it gets."

Beautiful!

A longing for things eternal is the second kind of escape. I am like a prisoner longing for home.


I can't get over the fact that someone is putting words to the very things that are within my heart.

And so, here I am. Sharing another life lesson for the month just ended: Heavenly-mindedness. Longing for Things unseen. Escape from reality.

Because if we are not careful, reality can truly be a day-to day prison. 

The self-effort and the self-provision...the cares of this life, the uncertainty of it all...



There are two kinds of reality: the seen, and the unseen.

There are also two kinds of knowledge: sense knowledge, and revelation knowledge.

Sense knowledge is based on our five physical senses; revelation knowledge comes from a heart understanding of God's word and how it applies to our daily lives. Revelation is also given to the heart that diligently seeks God.

If we assess our lives based on what we can see, feel, and touch - on mere sense knowledge, then we are living only in the realm of the seen.

But my heavenly Father talks about another kind of reality - His kingdom that exists in the realm of the unseen.

Just because something is unseen doesn't mean it's not real... 

So, it comes as a relief to me that there is really a literal escape from this seen reality in which we live our physical lives.

It is once again a choice we are called to make - which reality will define the way I live today?

I am, after all, not a physical being... made in the image of God, I am a spiritual being, called to live on a higher plane than just the physical.

A dear friend of mine recently discovered that her cancer has come back - and it's in her lungs, her liver, and her bones. When I first heard the news I couldn't keep back my tears. She is a beautiful woman, strong, and intelligent. I am asking God for her healing.

Someone in my extended family has continually refused to forgive me for a wrong I never knew I did. Refusing my overtures of love, she has rejected me, shunned me. And so, while I have not stopped loving her, I have stepped back, entrusting the situation to my Father.

Right here in America where I am at the moment... the shutdown is on its sixth day because the lawmakers cannot agree to disagree and come up with an acceptable stand for the sake of the general welfare. 

The strange weather patterns are wreaking havoc on the atmosphere: high temps in one area, a severe snowstorm in another area when it's supposed to be fall and leaves have not even changed their colors.

And here I am undergoing dental treatment when I have long been believing for a creative miracle to happen in my life. Is this His answer and provision to my prayer?

It is easy to be disappointed... embittered... easily-angered... or afraid when things go wrong.

But I've been there before, and I don't want to go back. 

God prunes and removes our branches of self-protection or self-provision that He may have room to enter into our lives, and provide a way out.


Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

- 2 Corinthians 4:17


Another quote from Things Unseen: "Heavenly-mindedness...allows us to endure life's agonies without despair."

Self-focus makes one unfit for heaven. But heavenly focus, setting my sights toward home, enables me to be more patient, more kind, more loving, better able to withstand the disappointments in life, and accept the shortcomings of others.

It's not about me. Never has been.

It's about the life of Christ in me.

Inwardly I am being renewed day by day.

My speech is being refined. My goals are being re-adjusted. My flying instruments are being re-calibrated.

I am after all, being trained to live as a child of the King, a citizen of that eternal kingdom... learning to live for what really matters.

Heavenly realities are, in truth, just within my reach.









Wednesday, September 4, 2013

An Open Door

An Open Door





The words of  the holy one, the true one,
who has the key of David.
Who opens and no one will shut,
who shuts and no one opens...
Behold I have set before you an open door,
which no one is able to shut.
- Revelation 3:7, 8





...I will place on his shoulder the key to the house of David;
what he opens no one can shut,
and what he shuts no one can open.
- Isaiah 22:22




Therefor, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her.
And there I will give her her vineyards
and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
- Hosea 2:14, 15







I arrived in beautiful USA on September 2 after traveling a total of thirty-four hours. In a manner of speaking, I arrived the same day I left, having crossed twelve time zones before getting here. The fact that one could actually travel back in time has always amazed me. 

After getting my bags ready on the eve of my departure, I realized that I only had three hours to sleep before it was time to get up again and prepare to leave for the airport. 

Many thoughts went through my mind as I lay down to sleep, but mostly I was grateful for how things went.

The past weeks in my home city prior to the week of my departure had all been spent attending to many things - making sure everything was in order at home for my long absence... and making sure I wouldn't forget anything I needed to bring along with me on my trip. Upon reaching Manila one week before my scheduled flight, I was also attending to our Manila home, once again seeing to it that things were in place, and making last minute purchases like foodstuff and little gifts to give away to friends and family.

In the midst of all these preparations, my heart was silently connecting with Abba Father to guide me every step of the way.

On Sunday morning, one day after I arrived in Manila, I woke up with an intense longing to sit at the feet of my Abba... and just be in His presence. No praying... no reading of His word... just sitting quietly and seeking comfort and re-assurance.

There was no audible prayer that came out of my lips, but I knew very well what my heart desired. "Let Your presence go with me on this forthcoming trip, dear Father."  It was the secret, unspoken prayer of my heart.

A few minutes later, I became aware of a soft, plaintive melody wafting into the room... it was the voice of Gillian Adams singing one of my favorite hymns, Through the Love of God.  How that happens just at the time I need my heavenly Father's affirming touch no longer surprises me. He has spoken to me countless times before through a song.

I have posted the youTube video below for anyone who wishes to listen to this incredibly beautiful song.





As the birds in the santol tree outside my bedroom window chirped merrily, saying good-bye to the month of August and saying hello to September, my heart was being touched by the generosity of Abba Father speaking so directly to meet the need of my heart early that morning through a song.

Trust Abba to always know what is on my heart without me having to spell it out for Him in black and white. 

Through the love of God our Savior...all will be well
Free and changeless is His favor... all, all is well
Precious is the blood that healed us
Perfect is the grace that sealed us
Strong the hand stretched forth to shield us
All must be well...

If there was anything I wanted from Him for my trip, it was for His presence to be with me, and for the long road ahead of me to be paved with His favor.

Free and changeless is His favor... all, all is well.


I wanted protection and well-being for my home and the precious family I was leaving...

Strong the hand stretched forth to shield us... all must be well.

What better assurance was there than the very words being sung to me by my Abba Father? I listened to the song a few times, grateful for the peace that filled my heart, just when I needed it.



The rest of the week went smoothly for me and my daughter.


I said good-bye to August, truly grateful for all that had been accomplished in four short weeks. September took over.


I finished packing my suitcases and went to bed asking God for strength and endurance for what was ahead.


At 2:15 a.m. of September 2, Philippine time, a family friend Willy, arrived with his van to take me to the international airport, about 45 minutes away from where I lived.




"On my way...."

Checking in was so quick, it only took me 30 minutes to finish everything. By 3:30 a.m., I was already at my pre-departure gate, two hours early for the 5:30 a.m. boarding time!

Time went by so quickly anyway and before I knew it, Delta flight 3895 was airborne, headed toward its first destination - Nagoya, Japan.











We landed in Nagoya about four hours after take-off... waited for two hours at the pre-departure before boarding again for the flight to Detroit.



Once on board, I settled comfortably in my seat, prepared for the eleven hour flight from Nagoya to Detroit. 


"Make sure that all electronic devices are turned off." 



Sleeping on this flight was not going to be easy, so I tried to make the most of it by being relaxed and having an on and off conversation with my heavenly Father. 

Having a moving map right in front of me was a crash course in geography! From time to time I turned it on to have an idea of where we were in relation to the destination.








As the plane flew over miles and miles of land and sea, I had much time to think about this trip I was undertaking. At the start of the year, I absolutely had no idea this was going to happen. This journey to the other side of the world was totally unplanned and unexpected, yet here I was. A verse came to mind: 

For I know the plans I have for you,
plans for good and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope.
- Jeremiah 29:11

Plans for good, and not for evil.

Truth be said, I was quite reluctant to go on this trip. The United States is such a far destination for me. It takes so much effort and money, not to mention the physical and emotional preparation required to go on a journey of this nature. 

But things happened very quickly. I was given a US visa renewal without any fuss, among other things. Without going into further detail, let me just say that I found myself at the threshold of a different season in my life.

And here I was... at the Father's disposal. A few times I wasn't really sure if this was what the Father wanted for me. But my sister had insisted that this was the best time to visit her... and really I began thinking that I must not deprive ourselves of this wonderful opportunity to be together again, to spend time making new memories, to re-bond... to re-connect... to make up for the many years and miles that had separated us since we began having separate lives. 

I experienced an Aha! moment, I wanted to seize the day, grab the opportunity... so I dropped all my reservations and announced to myself, Carpe diem! Go for it!

I am generally not an excitable person... Things impact me more internally than externally. 

But on the plane, I decided I wasn't going to have an iffy attitude about it all. I  will gladly give this trip the best that I have to offer. It is an investment from which I knew we were all going to reap eternal gains.

I prayed that Abba Father would honor the desire of my heart for the days ahead of me - that I would be a channel of blessing, and healing, and restoration. 

Believing that there is surely a good purpose for it all.

As indicated by the many hours and miles required by this travel, I am also traveling a long distance spiritually. First the natural, then the supernatural.

That is what Paul writes to the Corinthian city church:

But it is not the spiritual that is first but the natural, 
and then the spiritual.
- 1 Corinthians 15:46

This is my current location statement. What happens in the natural is an indication of my spiritual reality. I am traveling a long distance spiritually as well. There are new experiences and new opportunities from heaven waiting for me.








Delta flight 630 landed at the Detroit Metropolitan Airport a few minutes after 12 noon of September 2. Once again, everything went smoothly for me. Passport control, customs check up, and the series of security check... everything went smoothly. 

At the Detroit Metro tunnel which features sculpted glass walls, fabric ceilings, and about 400,000 computer generated lights which move in sync with soft music. Walking here is truly an awe-inspiring experience!



Less than one hour after I disembarked, I was at my boarding gate for my next flight.



I waited at this departure gate for more than 8 hours before I finally boarded my flight at 9:35 p.m.

Finally, at about 2 a.m. of September 3, after almost 36 hours of no sleep, I was ready to sleep in this cozy and comfortable bedroom, beautifully prepared for me by my loving sister. God's presence and His favor went with me all the way!





Today I am aware that at sundown another new year, Rosh Hashanah in the Hebrew calendar, begins. It is the year of the Ayin Dalet. 

Dalet is the fourth letter in the Hebrew alphabet. "The Hebrew alphabet doubles as numbers giving each character a numerical value. Since each Hebrew character possesses a pictorial meaning as well, there are layers of richness to each letter/number." (see Melissa Flores, The Year 5774: Ayin Dalet)

Melissa Flores writes:


Dalet is the picture of a hanging tent door. The door, dalet, can also mean the movement of one coming from or going into the tent. As is the case with every word, we can interpret negatively or positively. During dalet, one will either move (1) out of or (2) back into their tent. WIll you choose to vacate places of confinement or will you choose to retreat into the tent of isolation?




Indeed these are such significant words for me.

Ayin dalet is for me, the year of the open door...


new spiritual realities...


new opportunities...


new kingdom connections!


It truly is a beautiful beginning for me, this ninth month of the year, and this new year.


Incredible as it sounds, everything seems to be moving according to a divine plan and purpose.


I look forward to new beginnings, to God opening many new doors before me, one of them the door of hope in what I though was my valley of Achor.


God makes a way, a path through the wilderness.


I couldn't ask for anything more, or better. An open door is a way out of what controls, confines, limits, and inhibits me. An open door is a way of provision... a redeemed perspective!

Father I lift myself up to You. Lead me, guide me. 

Thank You in advance for this new year, the year of the open door. 


Thank you for what You have prepared for me - 


a new road on which to travel... 

a forward movement... 


a way out of what limits, hinders, and weighs me down. 

Set me free from old cycles and old ways of looking at things.. even old ways of doing things with You! 


Open my eyes to new horizons and vistas! Show me a panoramic view of new things that You are doing in my life and in the lives of those I love. 


Bring me up to the next level of Your eternal kingdom opportunities for me and my family!



So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,

but on what is unseen, 
since what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal.
-2 Corinthians 4:18


Friday, August 30, 2013

Worship: Hidden Riches in Secret Places










I will give you the treasures of darkness
And hidden riches of secret places,
That you may know that I, the LORD,
Who call you by your name,
Am the God of Israel.
- Isaiah 45:3





He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD,
 "He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust."
- Psalm 91:1-2





He made darkness His secret place;
His canopy around Him was dark waters
And thick clouds of the skies.
- Psalm 18:11





There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God,
The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved;
God shall help her, just at the break of dawn...
-Psalm 46:4-5





If then you were raised with Christ,
seek those things which are above, where Christ is,
sitting at the right hand of God.
Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.
For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
- Colossians 3:1-3





"Listen, O coastlands, to Me,
And take heed, you peoples from afar!
The LORD has called Me from the womb;
From the matrix of My mother He has made mention of My name.
And He has made My mouth like a sharp sword;
In the shadow of His hand He has hidden Me,
And made Me a polished shaft;
In His quiver He has hidden Me."
-Isaiah 49:1, 2





For thus says the LORD GOD, the Holy One of Israel:
" In returning and rest you shall be saved;
In quietness and confidence shall be your strength."
- Isaiah 30:15









Another month is coming to an end. For me, that means it's time for another blog post. I have to force myself to get away, put down whatever it is that has my attention, quiet myself before my Father, sit at 
His feet, and inquire of Him: What is the life lesson you want me to share on my blog for this month?

In a previous season, this blog was a place for me to share my life stories. 

It still is. However, this year, my motivation for doing blog entries has shifted gears. I certainly did not plan on doing that. Let's just say that the circumstances of the past months have compelled me to do it that way.

Force.

Compel.

In just three short paragraphs, I have used two verbs that could indicate the direction in which my life is moving... or that certain things are happening which are causing me to write blog posts in a way I had not really intended. 

A few times I went back to read the online journal entries written during the early years of this weblog as the year 2008 was just beginning.

My husband Ernie and I were living in Chiang Mai, Thailand then. In those days, I was dealing with a completely different set of concerns.

After Ernie passed away in November 2008, understandably, the direction of my life began to change. This did not happen very quickly... but the changes came in stages.


This year, my 60th year, I can tell that Abba Father is doing something very deep. He is uprooting some deep-seated issues within my heart. I cannot really put it into words ... all I can say is that there seems to be a birth process going on. I am certain that as the months come and go, I will be able to have a clearer understanding of what is happening.

One noticeable inner change is that the fruit is maturing and ripening.

I have not been able to write often here, only one post each month these days, which is the reason why I really need to take time to get away from whatever it is that is occupying my attention at the moment, and be intentional about doing my end-of-the month post.

Otherwise the opportunity to evaluate and take stock of where I am at this point will soon pass me by. Writing down the vision always helps me have a better picture, a firm grasp of what God is doing... where I have been... and where I am going.

God's specific instructions to the prophet Habakkuk:



"Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry."




So I sit at the feet of my Father and listen to what He wants to tell me about this month that is about to end. It is impossible to squeeze into one single post all the events of the past thirty days. That is why my posts are not really about events per se.  Rather than being a mere chronicle of events, my entries are more about the significance, the meaning of the events of these past four weeks.

There are precious life lessons to be gleaned from the days of this month.

"Glean" is a beautiful word that means " to gather grain or other produce left by reapers."

Re-harvesting the grain or crops that have been left behind, that's how I look at it.

Harvesting is definitely not a quick job... 

But gleaning is even more tedious. While the reapers have already taken what can be easily seen and reached, the gleaner needs to look more closely... to be deliberate... and intentional. Gleaning a handful of grain at a time, a fruit at a time, a few stalks of vegetables or root crops at a time...





The Gleaners
by Jean-Francois Millet




Gleaning thus requires that I take a careful look at what the events of this month have done to my heart, because what I glean is what will feed, nourish, and feed my soul.


This month, I sense God is talking to me about the treasures of darkness, the hidden riches that can be found only in secret places. Places not commonly visited or frequented by others.

I have always loved the word hiddenness. In the decade of my pruning, in the nineties, this was the word I embraced. It was a season of being obscure, like beef stew simmering in the back burner, I was hidden, away from the eyes of the world, because God was doing a new thing in my life.

Yet in that hidden place of pain, I eventually found solace and warmth, like a caterpillar within a cocoon.

And somehow, at times it feels like I never left the season of being hidden.

I know there has been growth, and transformation. Yet, in many ways, I still feel very much hidden.

There is less striving in me these days. It's all right if the dishes are left undone. It's okay if things don't go as planned.  I can choose which battles are worth fighting.

It's okay if I am not loved or understood... as long as I do not fail others in that area.

And I have long found out who my real friends are.



I am also choosing the kind of words I speak.

I am not really a talkative person - but I can also talk a lot if I want to. But these days, I just prefer to be more quiet. Now I can understand what my Papa used to tell me when I was young: "Hija (young daughter), let your words be few. You don't always have to let people know what you think... And try to stay away from people who talk too much. One's breeding is seen in the way one speaks."  

Words of wisdom from a truly wise man. And now that I have turned 60, I know only too well what he meant when he said those words of admonition to me and my sister.



I do appreciate this time of realizing that my Father is always calling me close to His heart, in the secret place. In that place, I may not have everything I thought I needed or wanted or aimed for... but it is a place of contentment and peace. Being satisfied with what the Father wants for me. Because what Abba Father desires for me His child is only the best.

Derek Prince in one of his teachings warns us about worshiping something other than God Himself. What we worship will always control us, without our being aware of it.

Pastor Vince Arnaldo, at the start of this month, spoke on what it means to disciple our hearts. He says that if our hearts are in the right place, then our emotions is our best friend. They will give a correct reading, they will draw us close to God.

Gary Celis spoke on the fruit of discipleship, the result or the outworking of Christlikeness in our lives - the fruit of character followed by the fruit of influence.

Intentional living, I want to call it that.

And to hammer down the lesson God had for me this month, Pastor Michael in Victory church last Sunday spoke about true worship. 

"True worship is coming to God in wholehearted and unbroken communion."

"Whatever it is that you sacrifice your time, efforts, and resources for -- that is what you worship."

"We can know what we worship based on what we're willing to sacrifice for... what we're most passionate about."


Wow! Those words really hit the nail right on the head.

I've been asking God these past few days... what am I worshiping, Lord?

I know in my head my desire and my goal are to worship nobody else but God alone. But I want to hear from God what He has to say about the matter.

Well, in a nutshell... God is pointing to some Isaacs that I need to lay on the altar of sacrifice, and surrender to Him.

What I love about God is the gentle way He conducts heart surgery. Not condemning, never accusing.

So merciful, so compassionate.

He touches a tender spot in my heart. I'm still very much in love with myself, no matter what I say. 

Slowly I'm getting to the place where God wants me to be. In the secret place of the Most High.

Releasing my whole life to Him.

Being hidden in Him is to live a life of wholehearted and unbroken communion.

In the shadow of His hand He has hidden me.

In His quiver He has hidden me.

What a safe place to be under the shadow of His wings.

When things beyond my control confront me, Abba Father assures me that there is a  purpose. The sifting and the pruning is an ongoing process, but there are treasures of darkness coming my way.

Abba Father tells me:

 Look for Me in the secret place. That's where the hidden riches are to be found.


I wish I could be more specific about the things I am sharing here. But I choose not to be. There are issues and concerns that I am lifting up in secret before my heavenly Father for Him to take care of. And lately, I can see signs that He is beginning to act on my behalf.


Abraham willingly offered his only son, not knowing it was a test from God of where his loyalty lies.

A test to find out who or what he was truly worshiping.

But mercy is the monumental character of Abba Father. And in His mercy, a ram was provided and Isaac was spared.

But first Abraham's faith had to be proven true.

Faith grows strong in the back stages and waiting rooms of life, behind the scenes...


Hiddenness and worship. They go  together. 

My life is hidden in Christ with God.

Darkness is the secret place of God... and I must be willing to go through the dark cloud, the cloud of unknowing, with Him. Because to my Abba, darkness is the same as light.


If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
- Psalm 139:11, 12




The month of August was to me a month of preparation. When I returned to Bacolod on the first week of July after spending nearly two months in Manila, it was with the intention of sorting out the affairs of my home (and life) in preparation for a forthcoming overseas trip.

In July and August, I set out to do what needed to be done. Reconnecting with family and friends. Financial details. Legal advice. Ministry. Health. Nurturing and feeding my spirit. 

I arrived back in Manila last weekend and with God's help, many things went as I had planned them, including visits to the cardiologist and the internist. Just this evening, a special document was emailed to me from Bacolod that requires my signature... and it is just in time.

Early on Monday morning, I embark on a 27-hour trip to the United States for a two and a half month visit with beloved family members and friends. This trip is totally unplanned and unexpected. But everything moved and happened so quickly last June. My US visa was approved without much effort on my part, and the itinerary fell into place just as easily. 

Based on my physical location statement for next month, something new is also happening in my spiritual life.

If August, the eighth month of the year, signifies for me a new beginning... September, the ninth month ushers in a spiritual birthing.

So be it, Lord... my life is in Your hands...



As August ends, I gladly share one more life lesson, which is: gleaning the hidden riches from the secret place of worship.

A true worshiper seeks to enter the secret place of worship. 

I want to end this post by saying the same response that Mary gave to the angel:

"Be it done unto me according to Your word, dear Abba Father."



Sharing my worship song for this month: