The Season of Our Joy

Dance, Dance Under the Rain

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The LORD your God in your midst

The Mighty One, will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness,

He will quiet you with His love;

He will rejoice over you with singing.

- Zephaniah 3:17

Today October bids us good-bye.

It has surely been an unexpected kind of month for me and our family. My daughter in law Chosen One was not due to give birth to her second baby until the second week of November.

October would then be a good time for me to visit my daughter in Manila again. I could be back in time for our family birthday celebrations, as well as to welcome my third grandson when he finally arrives. 

Early on October 5, a Sunday, I booked my flight. The plan was for me to leave on the 9th, the day after the first night of the Feast of Tabernacles, to enable me to celebrate this feast in a worship festival at the New Government Center together with my friends. My return date was early morning of the 20th, just in time for a lunch celebration of Forerunner's 6th birthday.

That planned trip never materialized. As I had written in a previous post, after lunch that same Sunday, I got a call from my son. Chosen One's bag of waters ruptured and they were on their way to the hospital.

Chosen One was admitted, and her doctor ordered complete bed rest for her, as the ultrasound results showed no traces of infection, low normal amniotic fluid in her womb, and the baby's heartbeat was strong and normal. She was given antibiotics, and steroids to protect the baby's still immature lungs.

What did I feel in all this?

I must admit, I was anxious. After all, anything could go wrong... Weighing only a little more than 4 pounds, the baby was tiny. And at 33 weeks, he still had fluid in his lungs. And since he was going to be born by Caesarian section, and being a preemie at that, the possibility of him being born with wet lungs syndrome was high. 

With money and power, we can put a mask over our fears. We can get things done our way... manipulate circumstances to make them work in our favor. But when things are beyond our control, we realize just how truly vulnerable and helpless we are.

In truth, we are always utterly dependent on God. He alone holds our lives in His hands. But how easy it is to lose sight of this, especially when things are going our way, or when we can make things work in our own strength and ability.

God "rocks the boat" of our comfortable lives by allowing circumstances that force us to run to Him, admitting our need for His intervention and help.

At a time like this, after the necessary "human" steps have been taken, all we have left is a heartfelt prayer.

One would be a fool not to take the path of prayer when the only way out is by looking up. At many seeming cul-de-sac and rock bottom situations of my life, prayer and worship have been my lifeline to Almighty God.

As an act of obedience and faith, I chose not to dwell on what could go wrong, Instead I thanked God in advance for His protection and victory. I surrounded my dear Chosen One and her baby with songs of praise.

I chose the path of joy.

As always, God had been preparing my heart. Just that Sunday afternoon, a few minutes before Worshiper called, I was reading Nehemiah, and the verse I was meditating on was Chapter 8:10 - 

...this day is holy to our LORD.

Do not sorrow for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

I brought my fears before God and laid them at His feet. I chose to believe that my Abba Father knew what He was doing.

As I prayed, my heart overflowed with love for my second son, and his wife, and their coming baby. They were a godly couple, hardworking, and God fearing. I admired them for their values and principles. My son was loving and caring, Chosen One was submissive and honoring toward her husband.

At a young age, they had already experienced a difficult childbirth nearly four years ago, when their first son Full of Hope was born as a distressed baby, with water in his lungs, neonatal pneumonia, and blood infection. He had to be in the neonatal ICU for 11 days before he was finally declared healthy and fit to be brought home.

Even then, Father God had been faithful. That baby is now a healthy, vibrant, joyful, smart 4 year old boy.

"I'm am now a kuya," he would tell everyone. Kuya means "big brother" in our dialect.

Early on October 8, I was down on my knees for my third grandson who was going to be born at around 8 oclock that morning.

What a meaningful day for him to be born! At sundown of that very day we were going to celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles, a seven-day feast commemorating the goodness and faithfulness of God toward His people. 

One of the seven feasts of the Lord, this was very important and meaningful not only for Jews, but also for all Christians who are getting reconnected to the Hebrew foundations of their faith. The Hebrew word hag means "to dance or to be joyous," or literally, "to be giddy with joy."

And indeed,  this feast celebrating the final harvest of fruit was a special time of joy; it was also called Z'man Simchateinu, or "the season of our joy."

Afred Edersheim writes in The Temple: Its Ministry and Services, that the Feast of Tabernacles was the joyous high point of the year in ancient Israel:

The most joyous of all festive seasons in Israel was that of the ‘Feast of Tabernacles.’ It fell on a time of year when the hearts of the people would naturally be full of thankfulness, gladness, and expectancy. All the crops had been long stored; and now all fruits were also gathered, the vintage past, and the land only awaited the softening and refreshment of the ‘latter rain,’ to prepare it for a new crop. It was appropriate that, when the commencement of the harvest had been consecrated by offering the first ripe sheaf of barley, and the full ingathering of the corn by the two wave-loaves, there should now be a harvest feast of thankfulness and of gladness unto the Lord. 

At this feast, the Jews rejoiced, and thanked God in advance for the rains that they are asking Him to give, in preparation for the new crop. 

It was at this feast that John writes these words:

In the last day, that great day of the feast, 
Jesus stood and cried, saying, 
If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink.
- John 7:37

Down on my knees, I thanked God for the birth of this baby, and I gave him the name Joyful One... for his birth was indeed a harbinger of joy for our family.

That same morning, Abba Father spoke Zephaniah 3:17 clearly into my heart. He is singing His love song over all of us, especially over Joyful One.

He is in our midst, He is mighty to save, He quiets us with His love. He dances over us with joy!

Abba sings a love song... and He invites us to respond. 

If I receive His songs of joy, then fear has no room in my heart. Only rejoicing in His love.

Heaven must be bursting with songs of life, our sure protection from the lies the enemy would have us believe.

Father God says, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear what the Spirit is saying."

We need to activate our spiritual senses for spiritual things are spiritually discerned.

Joyful One, whom his parents have named Jeremiah David, was born weighing 4 pounds 12 ounces.

Together with friends, I celebrated the Feast of Tabernacles at the government center that evening. There was food overflowing in every tent, and an atmosphere of joy and excitement while the stage with the band and singers was being prepared. But before we could begin with the worship celebration, there was a deafening thunderstorm followed by a heavy downpour. We thought the skies would eventually clear up and we would be able to see the blood moon up in the sky as it rose, but the rains continued to pour without letup.

We remained in our tents, enjoying the food and the company of one another. Many of the young people danced in the rain.

In the midst of the pouring rain I was having a conversation with Abba Avinu. Rain down your favor upon our family, dear Father. Surround my grandson with your healing presence. Sing over him your songs of deliverance. 

Father God whispered gently, Trust Me in this, My dear daughter.

Within 36 hours, the baby's lungs had been completely drained of fluids, and he was breathing normally on his own. He also began breastfeeding 36 hours after birth, and there was no trace of infection in his body. He was discharged 8 days later.

Indeed, this is the season of our joy. And I name this month as such...

Thank You Abba Father. Again, words are not enough for the joy that I feel. You have done all things well. You are trustworthy. You alone deserve our praise and thanksgiving.

 Joyful One, a few minutes after birth

at five days old

at 11 days old

This beautiful song is my prayer for Joyful One:

Sing Over Me

I live in the wonder of Your love

You rise like the sun in my heart

Even when the night draws near to me

There You are

I will wade in the water of mercy

I will walk in the light of Your will

Whatever should come against me

Teach me to be still

As You sing over me

Draw me close to rest in Your peace

Sing over me

Oh, sing

Sing of Your unending faithfulness

That knows no doubt or fear

In the face of all that I don't know yet

Remind me of who You are

Sing over me

Draw me close to rest in Your peace

Sing over me, 

Oh, sing

You are mighty, You will save

Rejoice over me with singing

You will quiet by Your love

Glory over me with singing

You are mighty, You will save

Rejoice over me with singing

You will quiet by Your love

Glory over me with singing

Sing over me

Draw me close to rest in Your peace

Sing over me

Oh, sing

Related blog entry: A New Season, A New Name

My One Desire

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But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob,

And He who formed you, O Israel:

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name;

You are Mine..."

- Isaiah 43:1

Six years ago today, first grandson Forerunner was born.

My dear Forerunner, 

I have loved you even before I set eyes on you, 

and prayed for you while you were being formed 
and created in your mother's womb.

You were the new life that God brought into our family 

just one month before your Lolo (Grandpa) Ernie left this earth.

Somehow, in the Father's scheme of things, 
you were the little baby sent by God 
to fill our grieving hearts with joy. 
Your presence in my life was Abba's way of easing my pain 
during my season of loss.

But today, my dear Forerunner you have become to me, 

more than anything else, a reminder of God's faithfulness.

You are a product of much prayer... 

indeed as Francis Frangipane writes, 

the greatest good that having children (and grandchildren)
brings into a parent's life 

is that it makes passionate prayer warriors out of us!

I have been listening to Lenny LeBlanc's beautiful song, One Desire. 

Today, dear Forerunner as you celebrate your sixth birthday, 

my prayer is that this song will be your song as you grow up.

Love always,

Nana

Abba Avinu, I pray for my dear Forerunner today, 

May his heart be shaped and molded into a heart that seeks to honor You with his whole life, 

and to follow after You with his whole heart.

One Desire

Chorus:

If I could have one desire

Before my life is through

Even in my darkest night

My life would shine for You

If I could stop the hands of time

Or make a wish come true

I would tell my heart to burn with fire

For no one else but You

This is my one desire.

You are my Saving Grace

Anchor of my soul

In a world that's turned upside down

I want You to know (Chorus)

You are my Faithful Friend

The One that I lean on

You always understand

With all that I am

I'll give you the deepest devotion I know

With all of my strength

I won't let You go

As I look to You above

I will give You all my love (Chorus)

In His Time

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Your eyes saw my substance,

being yet unformed.

And in Your book they all were written,

The days fashioned for me,

When as yet there were none of them.

-Psalm 139:16

At 7:30 a.m. today, less than two hours from now, my daughter in law Chosen One will deliver her second son by Caesarian section.

This baby boy who has been named Jeremiah David by his parents wasn't due to be born until the second week of November, so we are all quite unprepared for this development.  On Sunday afternoon, Chosen One's bag of waters ruptured, requiring the C-section to be performed for this premature birth.

However, I fully believe that nothing takes God by surprise.

All malfunctions of our body systems are known to Him, long before they happen.

A few weeks ago,  Nehemiah 8:10 was strongly impressed on my heart during my Quiet Time.

The joy of the LORD is your strength.

It was a rhema word, and ministered deeply to my spirit.

Then, just two days ago, a dear American blog friend named Deb was praying for my daughter in law and the baby in her prayer language when she heard herself singing words she had never heard before, and certainly didn't understand. The words were

maganda... masaya...

She wrote, asking me if the words meant anything to me.

Of course I knew and understood what those words mean! In our native language, those words mean "beautiful" and "joyful".

That was such a confirmation of what had been impressed in my heart earlier, and I knew without doubt that Abba Father is writing an amazing chapter in our family history.

I name my third grandson Joyful One.

The blessing I declare over my second son Worshiper on the day his second son is born, is the same blessing that Israel (Jacob) gave over his son Joseph in Genesis 48:14-16.

Then Israel stretched out his right hand and laid it on Ephraim's head, who was the younger, and his left hand on Manassaeh's head, guiding his hands knowingly, for Manassaeh was the firstborn. And he blessed Joseph, and said: 

"God, before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked,

The God who has fed me all my life long to this day,

The Angel who has redeemed from all evil,

Bless the lads;

Let my name be named upon them,

And the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac;

And let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth."

Joyful One's arrival is not accidental, but on purpose. Tonight we celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles, a most joyous feast instituted by God as one of His appointed times (moedim) to be observed as a lasting ordinance. During the seven days of this feast Jews are commanded to rejoice in their God, for His provisions and His protection, so it has come to be known as "The Season of Our Joy".

I believe my third grandson's birthday ushers in a season of joy for our family, and will always remind our family of God's provisions and protection.

This is the season when God is teaching us to learn new lessons in trusting Him when things don't go as we expected or planned. God is with us in all these.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 is a beautiful reminder of this. He  has made all things beautiful in its time.


My song for Joyful One...

Sukkot - The Season of Our Joy

Featherlight

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Every detail of my life was already written in Your book;

You established the length of my life

before I ever tasted the sweetness of it.

Your thoughts and plans are treasures to me, O God!

I cherish each and every one of them!

- Psalm 139:16, 17




For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord,
thoughts of peace and not of evil,
to give you a future and a hope.
-Jeremiah 29:11




Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me,
for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For My yoke is easy
and My burden is light.
- Matthew 11:28-30




For our light affliction, which is but for a moment,
is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory,
while we do not look at the things which are seen,
but at the things which are not seen.
For the things which are seen are temporary,
but the things which are not seen are eternal.
-2 Corinthians 4:15-18





The Christian experience is not simply one of green pastures
and flowing streams,
it is also the place of emptiness.
- Charles Ringma

Location Statement

It was in 1997, in Rasa, Switzerland when I first heard the term "location statement." I was attending a four-week Life Revision Retreat in a little Alpine village where twenty three of us sat under the mentorship of Hans Burki to learn more about the spiritual disciplines of meditation and contemplation. 

 A location statement is simply a description of where you are externally and how it relates to your internal condition. Look back at how the day, or week, has been, and sum it up in a word or phrase.

Hans taught that making a periodic location statement helps us evaluate how far we have gone in our life journey, and to take a quick inventory of the inner spiritual resources we are drawing from.

Today the month of August comes to a close, another opportunity for me to make a location statement. The months of the year do not always make accurate markers or dividers for the chapters of our lives, but they do help simplify matters. As I have learned in the Life Revision Retreat, giving a name for each day, week, month, and year as it ends, is one way of making a location statement.

When I name the day, week, or month, the lessons for that particular time frame become an integral part of me. Even negative circumstances, when viewed through the lens of faith,  become glorious opportunities for growth. A location statement helps me see how those events are being used by the Father to elevate me to the next level of my destiny.

Kingdom Equipping

To be honest, it has not been easy for me to keep up with this practice. It is part of the spiritual discipline of meditation, and developing a discipline requires time and repetition until it becomes a habit. In 1997, I was 44 years old and focused on raising a family, heading a church school ministry, financial concerns, on top of many other important things on my plate in that season of my life. There was hardly any time left for meditation.

However, a few weeks before the year 1999 ended, I distinctly remember that God placed a word on my heart... it was the word kingdom. He spoke it so clearly to me in two passages, namely:

Luke 12:32 - Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

Matthew 24:14 - And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come.

As I meditated on those two passages, I was given the impression that Father was bringing me to a higher level of awareness about His kingdom agenda in my life.

He was calling me to live as a kingdom person.

And indeed, the year 2000 marked a shift in my spiritual journey. It seemed like the pruning season of my life was coming to an end, and a new season of kingdom equipping began. Abba Father placed in my heart a deeper hunger for heavenly realities, to be drawn closer to Him in intimacy.

In the 2000s, I began to understand the importance of being prepared as a spiritual bride waiting for the return of her bridegroom.

Waking up middle of the night to receive throne room secrets no longer came as a surprise to me. I knew God was doing a deep work of cleansing, renewal, and transformation within my heart of hearts. 

Names and Assignments

In recent years, with the help of this blog, I was finally able to revive the practice of giving each month a name as it ended. 

Names are important to God. The name given to a person defines his nature, character, and assignment. The same is true of places and events.

In my very first post in February 2008 I have shared the story of how God gave me a new name in 1992, the name I have chosen for this weblog. 

In the early days of this blog, I would wonder if maintaining it was a God-honoring thing for me to do. Each post I composed would be covered in prayer, asking Abba Father to anoint my thoughts as they flowed, help me choose which ones to share, and give me the right words to write on the electronic pages of this medium.

Today, however, I am hardly the same person that I was six years ago when this blog was born. Within those six years, I have had several new names given to me by my Abba. Even the way I address Him has changed. Lately I have enjoyed calling Him Abba Avinu, an endearing Hebrew term for "Papa Father."

Each additional new name I receive brings me up another level in my calling and kingdom purpose.

And so I have also come to have a different view regarding my blog entries. I have long understood that each post I write is an act of worship, a humble offering to the real Author of my life story. As I verbalize my thoughts and feelings, He lends clarity and perspective to the days, weeks, months, and years of my life.

I pray that the person reading the words I have written will be blessed and edified. One reader, or a hundred... my goal is the same: to let my Creator receive glory and honor.

One blog post to summarize in a few paragraphs what God has done doesn't do justice to the beautiful masterpiece He is painting with words.... but it is good enough. A glimpse at the unfinished canvas gives an idea of how awesome the finished work will be when it is finally put on exhibit for all the world to see.

God has done a beautiful work of inner transformation in my life... in each of our lives... of that I am very sure.

Memorable August

I arrived here in Manila a month ago, on July 29 to be exact, after ten wonderful days of ministry in Davao City. Tomorrow the first of September, I return to my home city of Bacolod where another month, another chapter, is waiting to unfold.

But first I want to say good-bye to August, and thank this month for everything that has happened while she was around, thank her for thirty one days of time that has been mine to mature, to grow, to understand the plans and purposes of God for me.

August has been a unique month; a few unexpected events happened. As I look back at the past weeks, many realizations hit me. I must never lose sight of the fact that we live in a hostile world. The enemy can easily use the words we speak to suit his evil schemes. In the midst of my honest and pure intentions, he creeps in and twists them to make my motives appear tainted and questionable.

As  a result, a breach in a precious relationship happens, and a stinging accusation, a poisoned arrow finds its way into my unsuspecting heart.

For the past weeks of August this has been my location statement: a poison tipped arrow embedded in my heart.

From the lovely, sunny days of ministry in Davao City just days earlier, I found myself thrust into a kind of dreary inner wilderness. Totally unexpected.

Kingdom Lessons

Seeking solace and comfort from my Abba Father... I heard Him speak.  He gave me a song to sing in the wilderness. (A Song in the Wilderness)

This piano music by Brian Crain has also somehow ministered to me this past month.

It is a process. To understand, to respond in love and not in anger, to sing in the midst of the hurt... is a moment by moment decision.

Abba gave me a song in the wilderness to help me heal.

I am still learning the song, and in time I will know it by heart... master it.

There is value in treasuring this particular event in my heart. Instead of protecting myself, explaining or acting in self-defense, I took the stand of Jesus who, like a lamb before its shearers, opened not his mouth.

I am sure it was Abba teaching me... to respond... not react.

There is a world of difference between responding and reacting. A response brings resolution, a reaction builds walls. 

I found comfort in being vulnerable and letting the accusation remain.

It was not being complacent... bahala na... It was more of active waiting... believing that something good is happening behind the scenes.

Abba Father assured me, "Trust Me. I make all things beautiful in My time... and in time, all wounds heal."

Yes, I believe in perfect timing, in redemption, and restoration. 

So in the midst of that arrow in my heart, hope shines. I am learning precious kingdom lessons... the hard way.



Affirmation from Family, Friends and Nature
And... to counteract the evil intent of the enemy of my soul, Abba Father from His generous heart gives me external experiences that brought me joy and affirmation!

The real reason I was in Manila, aside from spending time with my daughter Obedient One, was to seek medical attention for a physical concern. I set appointments with my cardiologist, internist-nephrologist, and a neuro-otolaryngologist (ear--nose-throat specialist). Blood works, cardio tests, and several xrays were done on me. I finally decided to let the matter rest and go back home to Bacolod, realizing that finding the real cause of what I am feeling is not going to be an overnight thing. 

In between doctor appointments, I was able to reconnect with two dear first cousins whom I had not seen for a long time.

With Ramon, son of Uncle Nuling, my mother's younger brother

With Trix, eldest daughter of my Uncle Justo, my mother's older brother

I love these cousins of mine dearly. We grew up celebrating the events and seasons of our lives together.

Then, through Facebook, I got reconnected with the family of Patring Rosales, a very close friend of my father. I remember spending Sunday lunch often with Tita (Aunt) Patring and her family during my childhood days. I know they considered my dad as "family." So what  a delight it was when they decided to meet me and my daughter in person, and invited us to a sumptuous dinner at their home, together with the rest of the cousins. There was abundant food and free flowing red wine, lots of pleasant conversation... and we were unaware that midnight had come and gone, and we were still chatting around the dinner table. What a heartwarming evening it was... truly one of the best things that happened to me this month!

 Standing: Ate Ver, Joji, Tes, Maricel
Seated: me, Ate Chita

Standing: Tes, Obedient One, Joji, Ate Chita

Seated: Ate Ver, Maricel

My second born son, Worshiper, his wife Chosen One, and their son Full of Hope arrived in Manila for the funeral of Chosen One's cousin. My daughter and I got to spend a few days with them!

A precious friend from Davao, Giok Tin, arrived in Manila third week of August, for a medical procedure. I was able to visit her twice during her confinement in hospital, and pray with her. This was indeed a very special time for both of us.

This week, I also had the opportunity to spend time with Jean, another dear friend from Davao City, who is also spending time in Manila. We got to have a meal together at one of my fave restos, Mom and Tina's Bakery Cafe.

At the start of August, my friend Tina and I spent time together at home for an extended time of worship and intercession. What a wonderful time it was for us to receive fresh revelation from the Lord, as well as healing for our souls. Two days ago, she and I met up again in Makati for a meal together, coffee and dessert, and a visit to our favorite Japanese store in Greenbelt.

Mango Panna Cotta and brewed coffee at Classic Confections in Greenbelt 5

Muji

From Makati City last Friday, I was to go to the Philippine Children Medical Center to visit the baby daughter of my son's close friend. I really had no idea where this hospital was except that I was to get off the Quezon Avenue train station, and walk a block to the right, then cross the street before the intersection. The fun part in this adventure was getting off the train with a prayer for God's guidance, then a split-second decision to ride a top-down pedicab waiting at the corner of the stop, instead of walking all the way. It brought me to the hospital in less than five minutes! Too bad there was no one I could ask to take a photo of me on that pedicab in the middle of a busy highway. I had a good visit with Jem and his wife Sharon, and we prayed for God's healing hand and mighty miracle to be demonstrated in this baby's life.

The weather in Manila this month has been a perfect combination of rain and sunshine. The bromiliad flowers that my father has planted in his garden years ago are still blooming! I have enjoyed my time of tending the garden, pruning the bushes, and trimming the grass. It has awakened warm memories of times that my sister and I would spend with Papa in the garden...

Mother-Daughter Bonding Time
The past weeks here in Manila have given me plenty of enjoyable bonding times with my dear daughter. 

Together we rejoiced when her All Female Relay tri-team won second place at the 2014 Ironman 70.3 Triathlon in Cebu City last August 3. 

Obedient One (in blue t-shirt), and her two team mates upon receiving their trophies

Last weekend, to celebrate the arrival of the special bicycle she had been saving for, we had a thanksgiving dinner out with her friends Des and Roy.

Des, Roy, and Obedient One

the new bike

Spiritual Nourishment
Obedient and I have looked forward to Sunday mornings at Victory Church, and we have always been blessed by the heartfelt preaching of Pastor Edgar Gorre, a humble man with a powerful message that inspires us to draw close to the Father and love Him more, Sunday after Sunday.

This morning, Pastor Edgar's message spoke so deeply to my heart. He spoke on the holiness of God. I don't think I have ever heard a sermon that stirred my heart as much as this one did. At several points during the message, I could not hold back the tears. God's holiness means that no one who is not as holy as He is can stand in His presence. Simply put, no one but a perfectly holy being can be allowed in heaven. The truth is, no one is qualified! I have known this, but the way Pastor Edgar explained it just enabled me to see God's holiness in a different way. His holiness demands that I spend eternity in hell as payment for stealing one centavo. That's how holy God is. This makes the death of Jesus so precious, because it is the payment of Jesus for all our sins that God accepts. There is no possibility of heaven for any of us apart from the Cross. 

I gained a new understanding of the holiness of God after hearing this morning's preaching of the Word. Of the many things I will miss when I return to Bacolod tomorrow, Sunday mornings at Victory is one of them.

Message in a Feather
As this month ends, I am so delighted with how Father God helps me choose a fitting name for it. Ten days ago, I visited my friend Giok Tin at St. Luke's Hospital. While walking down the road back to our home, I saw this beautiful shiny feather. I quickly picked it up.

I have a collection of feathers tucked in the Matthew 11 chapter of my Bible, feathers that somehow "appear" at a difficult time in my life.

For me, this was feather was a special touch from Abba Father. It was a sign and an important message... a confirmation that in the midst of the heaviness I was feeling in my heart, God has surely heard the prayers I have been lifting up to heaven.

The message in the feather was this: the pain I was carrying was momentary and light, compared to the weight of the glory that was going to be revealed in the fullness of time. 

Featherlight. That is the name I give this month.

Jesus says, "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

It is an invitation to rest, as well as an invitation for self-examination. Are you weary, heavy laden... burdened... feeling defenseless... in pain?

I sense the compassion of Jesus in these words. Come to Me, and  you will find rest in Me.

In the devotional book I am reading, these words by Charles Ringma were a soothing balm to my wounded heart:

...lack of affirmation can leave us deeply hurting, [but] God's healing presence can bring relief to its sting in the embrace of His grace.

Graham Cooke, teaching about Brokenness, says there's a deeper purpose to our wounding, and that is to learn humility through it. The Father is dealing with you, so the enemy can't have a piece of  you. 

If we have allowed God to shape and mold us through the negative circumstances of our lives, we can stand in that place of being criticized, or being lauded... the two are just the same.

Jesus says in John 14:30, "The Prince of this world...has no hold over Me."  He was secure in His identity and calling.

The feather... 

the Bible passage inviting me to the rest that Jesus offers... 

the timely quotes from a favorite author and teacher... 

the soothing August Moon piano music by Brian Crain... 

my willingness to remain vulnerable and simply let God in His holy habitation, the Father of the fatherless and the Defender of widows, be the Protector of my reputation...

Abba Father whispers in His still small voice that He sees me not as others see me, for after all they do not hold my destiny in their hands... He does.

And I feel the gentle river of God's love washing away the disappointment and the pain.

Featherlight... a fitting name to this month... a tender picture of emptiness and vulnerability, and the coming day of heaven's glory.

All I can say is thank you Abba Avinu for Your healing balm,  Your compassion. 

Thank You for the precious re-connection with loved ones... friends and family You have sent to my life this month to inspire hope and speak affirmation to my heart! 

I thank You for the Cross of Jesus that has covered me with righteousness and granted me free access into Your holy presence. 

A Sanctuary of Beauty

Purple Flowers

by RoseAnn Hayes

The job of the artist is to offer a sanctuary of beauty

to an ugly world.

- Jeff Goins

And you shall be called Sought Out,
A City Not Forsaken.

- Isaiah 62:12

I'm still in Manila, enjoying the peace and quiet all around. After nine days of non stop rains, the sun finally showed up yesterday.

It will be sundown in just about an hour, and Sabbath will begin, marking the end of another week. I am taking this time to write some of my Sabbath musings.

Today I did a bit of gardening. There is never enough time to do all I want in the garden, whether it is here in Manila, or in my home in Bacolod  City. Mostly it's just weeding, pruning, or brushing the stone pavers to remove the algae that so quickly accumulates in rainy weather. 

This time, with the help of my cheerful maid, we cut the grass and trimmed the hedge in the front lawn, using garden shears. 

We don't try to finish everything in one sitting. For one thing, it's not possible to do that when one is using only garden shears. Another thing is that we remove the weeds and cultivate the soil in the plant boxes as we go along, so that slows down everything.

But when I stand and look back at what we have accomplished, I'm amazed at how beautiful everything has become.

The plants are lush and green from all the rains, and the smell of freshly cut grass made me feel nostalgic for my younger years when my sister and I would help Papa tend this very same garden on weekends.

After only an hour of work, the results put a huge feeling of satisfaction in our hearts.

There is something about beauty that feeds and nourishes our spirits. 

Yesterday, I came across the quote by Jeff Goins.

"The job of the artist," he writes, "is to offer a sanctuary of beauty to an ugly world."

It struck a deep chord in my heart.

The words kept coming back to me... like the refrain of a song that I sometimes find myself singing over and over again. 

A sanctuary of beauty...

A sanctuary is a place of refuge...

A safe place...

Come to think of it, this is true not only of the artist. It is true of all of us who believe that this world is not our permanent residence. 

We're only here as transients. Meanwhile, it is our job to make this world a sanctuary of beauty... in whatever way we can.

As the year 2013 was coming to an end, I asked Abba Father to reveal His one word for me for the new year.

In my end of December blog post, I wrote:

The name I give this month was gently placed on my heart ten days ago as I was thinking of the best possible word to sum up what this month has been like.

Significant... because it names not only this month, but the year as it comes to an end. It is also the prophetic word that I carry into the new year.

The word that the Lord gave me was "Sanctuary."

Today, seven months later, Abba Father reminds me once again of that word.

2013 was very special for me; it was the year I turned sixty. Each month that year, I devoted a blog post to one life lesson. Last December I wrote Sanctuary: Where God Dwells as my twelfth life lesson for my 60th year.

In a world where so much ugliness rules, we all need a place of healing, a sanctuary of beauty to run to.

Abba Father offers His heart as that safe place... He is our secure dwelling for all generations, the solid rock on which we stand.

But we also need one another to run to as a place of refuge from the violent storms and deadly traps that assault us on every side.

There are times when I feel confident about the many lessons I have already learned. 

But just recently I realized that no matter how much spiritual maturity one has attained, there is an enemy on the prowl, a roaring lion seeking whom it might devour.

So unaware was I of a demonic scheme aimed at me and precious relationships I had believed to be so established and secure, they were beyond destruction.

Nothing more needs to be said about it, except this: These days I have come to understand what a sanctuary of beauty means.

A sanctuary of beauty is where the lies of the enemy find no room.

A place of truth, not the kind of truth that accuses and condemns, but the truth spoken with love.

A place of acceptance, and understanding.

A place where one's hidden beauty is appreciated and valued.

It is the secret place of the Most High.

My December 2013 end of month post ended with these words:

As 2014 begins, I run to Abba Father as my place of shelter and strength, for there I receive healing, nourishment, renewal, and refreshment for my soul...

That I may be a sanctuary for others, too,

where hope is found,

compassion given,

redemptive words spoken...

where unbelief is silenced,

and grumbling has no voice...

where time is redeemed,

giving thanks is the norm, and

something beautiful and lovely is created out of the mundane.

Beautiful words indeed... and they are written from the heart. That is what I desire to be - a sanctuary for others.

But it will not always be so. It will also happen that because of areas of blindness, in my case I readily admit it was the subtle sin of self-righteousness, the enemy can creep in and sow seeds of destruction.

Right this very moment, my heart understands what has happened.

I cannot undo the events of the past, but there is One greater than me Who can.

I run to the Father for He is the Redeemer, He can re-create, He can heal, and restore.

He lets me take off the heavy garments of self-righteous pride, and invites me to don the simple cloak of humility.

And Abba welcomes me with arms wide open as He gently whispers, "In My time, precious daughter, all wounds heal."

My Prayer:

I know, Abba Father... that You are a rock of refuge, a safe dwelling, my victorious right arm. I run to You, and I am safe.

I know that in Your time, all wounds heal, and all things become beautiful.

Your love restores, Your grace liberates.

Yet, at this time, my heart also longs for a human heart to run home to, a heart that offers me a sanctuary of beauty, a place where I will find shelter, comfort, and re-assurance in the midst of the storm.

Thank You that You understand. 

Thank You for special friends You have given me who are that to me in this season.

Breath of Kindness

source

Related posts I have written:

Sanctuary: Where God Dwells

Gentleness: Life with Margins

With the Breath of Kindness

The Empty Cup: Making Space

Empty Cup

oil painting by Erin Lee Gafill

image source

I will give you the treasures of darkness

And hidden riches of secret places

That you may know that I, the LORD,

Who call you by your name,

Am the God of Israel.

- Isaiah 45:3

Wherever there is life there is movement and growth. Wherever life manifests itself we have to be prepared for surprises, unexpected changes, and constant renewal. Nothing alive is the same from moment to moment. To live is to face the unknown over and over again. Life requires trust... Essential to living is trust in an unknown future that requires a surrender to the mystery of the unpredictable. - Henri Nouwen

When my husband Ernie passed away in November 2008, my son Worshiper and his fiancee Chosen One were already planning to tie the knot sometime in mid 2009. With his father's unexpected death, he decided to honor me by postponing his wedding, to give our family time to grieve our loss and bring closure to our season of grief before the wedding.

Worshiper and Chosen One scheduled the date of their wedding day for December 2009, a month after the first anniversary of Ernie's home-going.

That was truly an honoring thing for my son to do. 

First Born had gotten married earlier in 2008, and he and his wife lived next door to us. Third child Obedient One moved to Manila in 2006. 

At the time of Ernie's death, Worshiper was the only son we had living with us. 

What a blessing it was for me to still have one son around! 

Worshiper is already an adult, so he actually has a life of his own. His job also requires him to work odd hours, and I travel to Manila often to visit my daughter.

My son and I didn't see each other much. But just knowing he was around gave me much comfort. He and I would go to church together Sunday mornings, then have a special lunch somewhere.

On New Year's Eve 2009, a few days after their wedding, Worshiper brought home his brand new wife Chosen One to live with us.

Worshiper's original plan was for him and Chosen One to rent a place of their own after the wedding. But again, he took my situation into consideration and they opted to stay with me for a while.

A year after they got married, little Elijah was born. We all bonded and blended well as a family. I appreciate Chosen One for being a very kind and sensitive daughter in law. 

But now, as they are entering their fifth year of marriage, with their first son already turning four, and another little one to be born toward the end of this year, Worshiper and Chosen One felt that the time has come for them to move into a place of their own, a place to give them more room and freedom to grow as a family.

Worshiper and his family moved out of the nest three weeks ago. 

Nearly six years have passed since Ernie went home to heaven. In many ways, I grieved his passing all by myself, in silence. 

But physically, I was never really alone at home. Worshiper, and later on, his family, were with me.

But on July 6, the day they left, the home was strangely quiet. 

There was no one puttering around in the kitchen preparing a meal, there was no cheerful chatter and laughter of little Elijah playing with his toys, no one knocking at my bedroom door asking for a bedtime story. There were no building blocks and stray Lego pieces lying around on the floor.

Thirty-six years after Ernie and I got married, my nest was finally empty.

It was a peaceful feeling, but I did not hold back the tears.

Through tear-filled eyes, I looked back at the years of raising our family. I can say that it has indeed been worth all the effort. Countless lessons learned, year after year of dying to self, learning to forgive, learning to trust God in the midst of trials and difficulties, and above all, remembering the joys of what we have all gone through and accomplished together as a family of five. 

That evening, sitting alone at my prayer desk, I thanked Abba Father for my three children, for how they have reached independence and adulthood without giving me and Ernie much trouble. Each one of them gave their allegiance to Jesus Christ as their Lord at an early age. They all finished their university studies well, and soon afterward, became gainfully employed. My two sons have chosen for themselves good wives, both God fearing, and hard-working. My two daughters in law are a blessing to me. 

I thanked God for the kindness of Worshiper, understanding my need for companionship while I was still in my grieving season.

With their leaving, I know I have entered a new season.

The next two weeks were spent rearranging the furniture, putting a few of my favorite decors back where they used to be. 

I have placed a reading table next to the bookshelf containing some of my favorite books and family photos.

I am gradually getting used to quiet evenings at home by myself.

Eating meals alone. 

Reading. 

Praying undisturbed in my prayer room.

Listening to soft music. 

Here's one of my favorites: (click on the video and continue reading)

As July comes to an end, there is a beautiful name for her. I call this month The Empty Cup.

The four weeks of this month went by so quickly! Many events have happened. 

This month our family celebrated the birthdays of my two daughters, Chosen One and God-given. What deep love my Father has given me for these my sons' wives, now daughters I love to call my own, though they were raised and nurtured by different mothers.

I arrived here in Manila the other day after a ten-day ministry trip in Davao City.

Today Obedient One goes to Cebu City where she and her friends are joining the Ironman 70.3 Triathlon.

My three children have all left the nest and are now living their own lives, pursuing their own dreams.

Within a few months two more grandchildren will be added to our family.

I may have "lost" my children as children, but now I am experiencing the joy of having them back as adult friends.

Still, my First Born son never fails to say to me, "I love you, Mama," each time he sees me.

God-given bought me a brand new refrigerator on the day Worshiper and his family moved out.

My five-year old grandson Matthew always makes it a point to kiss me good-bye before leaving for school each morning.

Second grandson Elijah did not want to leave one Sunday afternoon when they came over to visit. He ended up staying overnight with me. What a precious time we had, just him and Nana.

Truly my cup overflows. There is always something to be thankful for. 

The love of family fills my heart.

I couldn't ask for more.

And yet... in another sense, I know there is something more.

As I have entered yet another new season, there is a constant emptying required for me to move up to the next level.

God continues to awaken me before dawn, and if I heed His invitation to draw near, and spend time in His presence, His still small voice is clearly heard.

I have always been drawn to the spirituality of the desert and the night seasons, for it is in that place where God speaks tenderly to me.

Charles Ringma, one of my favorite devotional authors, writes:

Christian experience is not simply one of green pastures 
and flowing streams,

it is also the place of emptiness.

How those words resonate in my spirit!

Yes... yes... yes!

I must also embrace the place of emptiness.

While God's banquet table is spread out for the sons and daughters of the Kingdom of Heaven, God's children are also invited to dark and lonely places in their experience of the grace of God. (Ringma)

The dark and lonely places of our lives play a crucial role in the shaping and molding of our inner man.

The empty cup is to me a symbol of my willingness to change... to grow... and to become.

To hold my empty cup before the Father is to admit to Him my thirst, my hunger, my need to be filled.

Tell Abba that I am ready to be surprised.

In this place of emptiness I lay down my defenses and my pre-conceived notions about myself and others.

I lay down my judgments.

I allow myself to be vulnerable. Take off my masks and let others see me, just as I am...

Come out of hiding, walk in the light, in transparency, allowing them to see through me, without cringing in fear.

Accept even the false accusations that life throws at me, letting go of the need to protect my heart.

Or to fight back.

This world has numbed our senses and continually tells us that we need so much to be happy...

that we must be in the right,

affirmed,

understood.

But actually the opposite is true.

A lot of times, I have found that it is in experiencing emptiness that true joy comes.

One of my all time fave quotes:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart

and try to love the questions themselves,

like locked rooms and like books that are now written

in a very foreign tongue.

Do not now seek the answers, 

which cannot be given you

because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is to live everything.

Live the questions now.

Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it,

live along some distant day into the answer.

- Rainer Maria Rilke

The point is to live everything.

There is joy in having, but there is also joy in not having, not knowing, not understanding.

Because in the end, it is when our cups are empty, when we are not too full of ourselves and our demands, that God can fill our hearts to overflowing.

It is in the night seasons that I hear the invitation, "Come up higher."

And with my empty cup in hand, I draw near.

"Speak, Abba Father, for your daughter is listening."

I speak to you at night so your heart is free from distraction, 

      for I have much to say to you. 

From where I am there is no darkness -- all is as bright as day.

For I am light, and when I say that you dwell 
      under the shadow of My wings, 

I speak of protection.

I do not use darkness the same way the enemy uses it. 

The enemy uses darkness to conceal, to deceive.

I use darkness to protect, to hide mysteries before their time.

The night seasons of your life are like winter seasons, 

       a time for inner renewal and rest.

My love is as bright as light -- 

you are surrounded and protected by My love.

My love is like a sifter... I sift everything before it touches you.

Even what you think is an adversity has been sifted 

      and has passed through My love.

What the enemy means to cause you pain and fear 

      is meant by Me to draw you near to Me.

I am replacing your incomplete understanding of My purposes 

      with a clearer picture.

I want you to know what My unconditional love is.

Despite the shortcomings and inadequacies you see in yourself, 
       and in others, 

My love is enduring and unchanging.
From my personal journal of God's messages to me

December 2, 2013, 2:02 a.m.
Central Virginia, USA

Related post:

When Less is More