Five Years Ago... Precious Memories

A smile I will never forget

photo taken near our Maejo university flat

August 8, 2008

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Precious in the sight of the Lord

is the death of His saints.

-Psalm 116:15

The righteous perishes,

And no man takes it to heart;

Merciful men are taken away,

While no one considers

That the righteous is taken away from evil.

He shall enter into peace...

-Isaiah 57:1,2a

Five years ago, my beloved Ernie went home to heaven.

In one of my earlier webblog entries entitled The Unveiling of the Tombstone, I wrote:

"The pain of separation can never be described or explained in words. I've tried to share a little about it in my past posts. But the truth is that this kind of pain can never be fully shared with anyone. It is too precious... and too sacred... to even talk about.

A very personal experience, it can only be embraced and treasured."

And so today, as I commemorate yet one more time the day of his homegoing, I celebrate his life, remembering the kind of man that he was, certainly not to deify him in any way, but to just appreciate the gift that he was to me, to my family, and to our friends.

It's been five years. 

Although the initial shock and ensuing pain surrounding that event have already been replaced by a sense of joy, I believe that there will always be a part of me that will grieve, until I see him again face to face in eternity.

That's a special part no one else but God can share. I don't go there too often these days, but whenever I do, I am amazed at how fearfully and wonderfully heavenly Father has fashioned the human heart.

Walking through the grief was a lonely road, but looking back, I can say that it wasn't really such a heavy burden to carry. 

Surely it was the grace and compassion of a good God. What else could it have been?

Even people who do not believe in the existence of God believe in a "benevolent higher power" that enables us to go through life. And who might that being be, if not God Almighty Himself.

Eventually the numbness wore off... the song returned, but it still was not the same as before.

Understandably, it never will be.

Life's like that. We can't really hold on to the beautiful moments of our life, for they are never meant to last.

Only life in heaven guarantees that.

While here on earth we adapt, we adjust to a new normal, and life moves on.

Yet, in my heart of hearts, Abba Father has kept a special place where the beautiful memories are warm and alive.

And no one but God shares that place with me.

How awesome is our God to know exactly how to best comfort His children! A quiet comfort...never overbearing, or imposing. Just a gentle, caring, reassuring presence that never leaves me to my own devices. 

Be strong and of good courage... for the Lord your God,

He is the One who goes with you. 

He will not leave you nor forsake you.

- Deuteronomy 31:6

I am still here in the US, away from my children. If my original plan had pushed through, I would have been back home in Bacolod by now, and we would have celebrated the event in a special dinner with extended family and friends.

Celebration was a way of life with me and Ernie. 

But my dental treatment has taken longer than expected, and I will be here for seven more weeks.

But even in this, I have seen a divine plan.

It was meaningful to let this day go by quietly.

In the late afternoon I took a walk around the beautiful neighborhood.

This passage was gently laid by Abba Father on my heart today:

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.

I have been thinking about that verse, letting it speak peace and allowing its comfort to wash over me.

From the moment Ernie was conceived in his mother's womb, to his dying breath, Abba Father's eyes never left him.

Death was never in God's original agenda for mankind, and Jesus, in dying His own death, has transformed it and filled it with so much hope! Thus, to the one who believes, death is the gateway by which he crosses over to eternity.

I was looking at the trailer of the movie Heaven Is For Real... a line in that movie says, "In heaven, everybody's young."

That caused joy to spark within my heart.

Somehow, I have always known that. (Read Randy Alcorn's excellent write-up about this: What Will Our Glorified Bodies Be Like?)

Death has no place in heaven.

In heaven we will be clothed in our eternal bodies, looking young... and fit... and perfectly healthy! We will all look the way we would as God had originally planned. 

In heaven, death is not in the picture. Heaven is pulsating with LIFE!

Precious in the eyes of the Lord...

"While we are sorrowing over the removal of a saint, Christ is rejoicing." (Arthur W. Pink)

The Hebrew word for precious is also translated as, excellent, honorable, brightness.

Excellent.

Honorable.

Brightness.

That is how God looks at the death of one of His saints.

And today, this thought fills my heart with so much hope and gladness.

Thank You, Abba Father... Thank You for the hope of Your comfort. Thank You for the hope of heaven that fills my heart today. You, my Father, have never stopped being good to me. I remain confident of this: "I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." 

These past posts show the path of God's goodness that I have walked on from the day Ernie passed away, five years ago:

Nov. 23, 2008-The day Abba Father called Ernie home - Songs of Deliverance
Nov. 26, 2008-The day we buried his earthly body - Saying Goodbye
Aug. 22, 2009-The day we marked his grave-The Unveiling of the Tombstone
Nov. 23, 2009-One year after - The Road Ahead
Nov. 23, 2010-Two years after - Give Me This Mountain
Nov. 23, 2011-Three years after - To Live in Hearts
Nov. 23, 2012-Four years after - Green Pastures, Quiet Waters

Good to Me

by Audrey Assad

I put all my hope on the truth of Your promise

And I steady my heart on the ground of Your goodness

When I'm bowed down with sorrow I will lift up Your name

And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy

Because You are good to me, good to me

You are good to me, good to me

You are

Good to me

I lift up my eyes to the hills where my help is found

Your voice fills the night, raise my head up to hear the sound

Though fires burn all around me I will praise You, my God

And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy

Your goodness and mercy shall follow me

All my life, I will trust in Your promise...

Because You are good to me, good to me

You are good to me, good to me

You are

Good to me