Hineni: A Covenant Response

Because in the school of the Spirit

man learns wisdom through humility,

knowledge by forgetting,

how to speak by silence,

how to live by dying.

- Johannes Tauler

Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him,
"Where are you?"
- Genesis 3:9

As I write this post, a soft relaxing Celtic harp music is playing in the background. I'm seated at my prayer desk in my prayer room. What a peaceful, quiet evening it is!

I have just come home from our weekly Monday night Bible study, another inspiring evening of anointed worship time and Bible teaching. Tonight, Lyndon taught from the book of Galatians. Baby and Pacit Infante hosted us at their lovely home.

My heart is still full from this evening's fresh encounter with the Living Word. The song we listened to before the lesson gripped my heart. 

It was an old song, No Other Name, by Don Moen from the musicale God With Us.  But the introduction to the song was powerful, with the worship leader speaking the different names* of Jesus from Genesis to Revelation, a fitting prelude to the song.

We felt the Lord's gentle presence in our midst as we heard the wonderful names of Jesus being mentioned, a sense of awe filling the lovely garden room where we were gathered.

What a comfort it brings, the truth that God is indeed the great I AM . Whatever we need Him to be, He is.


It has often been said that God doesn't respond to doubt, fear, or even need. That He responds to faith alone.

It all sounds so profound, but I beg to disagree.

All throughout Scripture, God sees the need of His people and responds accordingly. After the fall of Adam and Eve in the garden, they sewed fig leaves together to make coverings for their nakedness. In compassion, God provides them with animal skins, understanding their fallen nature and their need to cover up their sense of shame. I don't think Adam and Eve showed any faith at this point...

In Exodus, God heard the cries of His people, and sent a deliverer to lead them out of bondage. Maybe there was faith... but I think their response was mostly grumbling and murmuring.

Yet God condescends. He understands, instead of condemning. He shows compassion and responds.

There are many more stories like this. The feeding of the multitude. The Samaritan woman at the well. The woman caught in adultery. No faith was shown... yet God steps in.


God is the great I Am. He is looking for faith, but He is certainly not indifferent to our need. One of His names is Emmanuel, "God With Us."


In just a few hours, we will say goodbye to June and welcome the month of July.

Tonight is significant because not only is a month coming to an end, we are also saying good-bye to the first half of this year.

The past months, I have begun trying out a new daily practice of having my evening meditation at sundown, whenever possible.

The Biblical day officially begins at sundown of the previous day. This gives me some spiritual preparation for the new day, and helps me set the tone and direction for it.

Sundown is also the start of the first watch of the night. At this time I pray around the first line of the Lord's Prayer, Our Father Who art in heaven... 

In Abu Baku's book Praying through the Gates of Time he writes that the first watch is the time to remember the Fatherhood of God over us, as well as to remember the covenant that He has with us. At this time I make it a point to receive holy communion, affirming Abba Father's fatherhood over me, and renewing my covenant with Him.

It is a helpful practice. But I don't fret or feel discouraged when I cannot do it. It brings such a sweet refreshment and renewal to my spirit when I am relaxed about it, and don't do it in a religious way.

As June is about to end, I have looked back at the events of the past weeks, and have waited to receive from God the name I am to give it.

The name He impressed upon my heart does not surprise me at all.

Hineni.

Hineni literally translated from the Hebrew means, "Here I stand, for you called me."

It is a response given when God calls on someone to do an important assignment.

Hineni. Abraham answers in response to God.

Hineni. Moses replies to God speaking to him out of the burning bush.

Hineni. Samuel responds to Eli the first time he heard the call, thinking it was Eli that called him. (1 Samuel 3:5) Here I am, for you called me. Later, Eli teaches the young Samuel to also say, Speak LORD for your servant listens. 

Inferred in this simple statement is a position of readiness. "Here I am, ready and willing to do what you ask me to do."

It is a powerful response of obedience and humility.

I really love the concept of Hineni.

This concept first shows up in the garden of Eden when God asks Adam, "Where are you?" It is a question that God asks us often. And the expected response is Hineni.

Here I am, Lord, ready to do as You say.

If we are living in transparency and trust before God, we will be able to give that response wholeheartedly.

No walls, no masks, no pretense.

It says to the one calling, "Here I am, just as I am."

It is a sacred response, a person showing up for the assignment with the sincere desire to connect.

And the response brings with it an expectation that although what is required may not be so easy to do, there will surely be a good ending to the assignment.

Hineni, therefore, is a response of faith. When I say Hineni to Abba Father when He calls, I say yes with the expectation that good things are going to happen as a result of my obedience.

What strikes me about Hineni is that when God calls, His call comes not as a demand, but as an invitation for us to partner with Him, to join Him in what He is doing.

Looking back to the events of this month that is ending, I stand amazed. It has truly been a Hineni kind of month.

Here's a bird's eye view of what the month was like for me:

I returned to Manila on the last week of May, and I stayed until the 10th day of June.

While in Manila, I had the opportunity to meet up with dear friends Alberto and Gina Fernandez.

I choose to say to these, my dear friends...  Hineni, here I am, believing in the best that you can be.

My sweet friend Tina Rivera and I were also able to spend time together on the last day I was in Manila this month.

I say to you dear, Tina... Hineni. It was my last day in Manila, and you were also very busy. Yet we chose to find time for each other. To affirm our friendship. 

Many more Hineni moments the past month...

I was able to re-establish ties with a dear friend Rebecca from my university days whom I had not seen since I left Manila in 1979. Rebecca has since remarried after her first husband died, and it was a joy to meet her husband Mike Watters as well. They are now missionaries to Kenya. We enjoyed lunch together at our home, but in the excitement of that day, I forgot to take a photo of us! However, before leaving, Mike gave me Psalm 20 as a farewell blessing. What a wonderful blessing it was!

May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble...

May the name of the God of Jacob defend you...

May He send you help from the sanctuary...

And strengthen you out of Zion...

May He grant you according to your heart's desire...

And fulfill all your purpose...

May the Lord fulfill all your petitions...

Two days after I arrived in Bacolod, six of us in the Family Foundations ministry team left for Davao City to do a Blessing Generations seminar with the students of the Korean-run Davao Bible Seminary for two days. We had a tight schedule because on top of this seminar, our team also ministered to one family in the area of relationships. But what a blessing it was to experience breakthroughs in our midst.

 sunrise over Barangay Cabantian, Davao City, June 13, 2014

Team Philippines

 Team Korea

 a casual photo taken by Stef during the lunch break

Back in Bacolod I was able to reconnect with my friends and prayer partners at the Negros Island House of Prayer. It was also such a blessing to be able to join dear family members and friends at the weekly Bible lessons given by Lyndon Cana every Monday night.

water droplets chandelier at the home of Baby and Stella Mora
a fitting picture of the showers of blessing we receive during the anointed Bible lessons

On June 17 we celebrated Father's Day in a special lunch to honor my two sons First Born and Worshiper, now fathers to one son each.

The next day, we went to the memorial park to honor the memory of my husband, Ernie, and my father-in-law, Voltaire. Ernie and his father were both very good fathers to us, and I appreciate the legacy of hard work and generosity that they have left behind.

at the memorial park.

remembering the fathers who have gone ahead of us

My beloved husband. 
"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." - Campbell

My parents' wedding picture. 
July 9, 1952

On Father's Day 2014, I also took time to remember my own father and what a special man he was. Papa, I believe, is the most important influence in my life. He was a gentleman in every sense of the word, the kind who stood up when a woman entered the room, and opened the door for my mother and us his daughters, and other women. 

Papa was well-bred, refined in speech, gentle in manners. He added beauty and elegance to anything he touched. Never spoke ill of anyone. Always treated my mother and his daughters with respect. Always so generous, but never kept a record of what he had given or done for others. Truly a man of peace.

One of the best lessons I learned from him is how to speak. He would often say to me, "Daughter, the words you speak reveal what you are inside. So choose your words carefully. Always speak with dignity, and with grace."

The Hebrew term, yafei nefesh, truly applies to him. The word means, "gentle soul or beautiful spirit."

I will never forget you, Papa. Sixty-one years after I was born, and I still set the table the way you taught me. I thank God for giving me a father like you.

A few days ago, the women's group in our church had a three-day weekend retreat in Dumaguete City. God gave us a truly meaningful time of bonding together, feasting on friendship, food, laughter, and most of all, precious manna from God's enduring word. Yesterday, the last day of our retreat, I was able to share with them about Hineni. Powerful!

Indeed, Hineni is a fitting name for this special month. I sense that God is about to pour new things into my heart as I respond in obedience to His call.

God is saying to you and me, Hineni. Here I am, Your God who will be to you what you need Me to be.

And, on our part, when we say Hineni to God, we are saying, I am ready to obey You no matter what it takes.

It is the response of Isaiah, Here I am Lord, send me.

It is the response of Samuel, Here I am, for you called me.


When I say Hineni to God, I am in effect agreeing with how He sees my life - my past, my present, my future.

Not my will Lord, but Thine.

Not my perspective Lord, but Yours.

With Hineni, I choose to say, I don't know what the future holds, Lord, but show me the way, and I will follow. Hineni, I put my trust in You.

Hineni. It is a beautiful covenant response.

Good-bye, June. I name you, "Hineni."

Isaiah 62: Surely Your Salvation is Coming

Related posts about Hineni:

Restoration: A Matter of Perspective

Hineni: Here I Stand

Covenant

_____

*Names of Jesus from Genesis to Revelation

In Genesis Jesus is the Ram at Abraham's altar.

In Exodus He is the Passover Lamb.

In Leviticus He's the High Priest.

In Numbers He's the Cloud by day and Pillar of Fire by night.

In Deuteronomy He's the City of our Refuge.

In Joshua He's the Scarlet Thread out Rahab's window.

In Judges He is our Judge.

In Ruth He is our Kinsman Redeemer.

In 1st and 2nd Samuel He's our trusted Prophet.

In Kings and Chronicles He's our reigning King.

In Ezra He's our faithful Scribe.

In Nehemiah, He's the Rebuilder of everything that is broken.

In Esther He is the Mordecai sitting faithful at the gate.

In Job He is our Redeemer who ever liveth.

In Psalms He is my Shepherd and I shall not want.

In Proverbs and Ecclesiastes He is our Wisdom.

In the Song of Solomon He's the beautiful Bridegroom.

In Isaiah He's the Suffering Servant.

In Jeremiah and Lamentations, it is Jesus that is the Weeping Prophet.

In Ezekiel He's the wonderful Four-faced Man.

In Daniel He's the Fourth Man in the midst of the fiery furnace.

In Hosea He is my Love that is forever faithful.

In Joel He baptizes us with the Holy Spirit.

In Amos He's our Burden Bearer.

In Obadiah He's our Savior.

In Jonah He is the great foreign Missionary that takes the Word of God into all the world.

In Micah He's the Messenger with beautiful feet.

In Nahum He is the Avenger.

In Habakkuk He is the Watchman that is ever praying for revival.

In Zephaniah He is the Lord mighty to save.

In Haggai He's the Restorer of our lost heritage.

In Zechariah He is our Fountain.

In Malachi He is the Son of Righteousness with healing in His wings.

In Matthew Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

In Mark He is the Miracle Worker.

In Luke He's the Son of Man.

In John He's the Door by which everyone of us must enter.

In Acts He's the shining Light that appears to Saul on the road to Damascus.

In Romans He's our Justifier.

In 1st Corinthians He's our Resurrection.

In 2nd Corinthians He's our Sin Bearer.

In Galatians He redeems us from the Law.

In Ephesians He is our Unsearchable Riches.

In Philippians He supplies our every need.

In Colossians He's the fullness of the Godhead bodily.

In 1st and 2nd Thessalonians He's our soon coming King.

In 1st and 2nd Timothy He's the Mediator between God and Man.

In Titus He's our Blessed Hope.

In Philemon He's a Friend that sticks closer than a brother.

In Hebrews He is the Blood of the Everlasting Covenant.

In James He's the Lord that heals the sick.

In 1st and 2nd Peter He is the Chief Shepherd.

In 1st, 2nd, and 3rd John it is Jesus who has the tenderness of Love.

In Jude He's the Lord coming with 10,000 saints!

And in Revelation, lift up your eyes church, for your redemption draweth nigh,  He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

The Outpouring

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, 

they were all with one accord in one place. 

And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, 

as of a rushing mighty wind, 

and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. 

Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, 

and one sat upon each of them. 

And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit 

and began to speak with other tongues, 

as the Spirit gave them utterance. 

- Acts 2:1-4

Starting at sundown today, June 3,  up to sundown tomorrow, June 4, we will be observing the Feast of Pentecost.

It is also called the Feast of Weeks, or Shavu'ot in Hebrew. This important feast is named "Weeks" because it takes place after seven full weeks, or exactly 50 days, after the beginning of the Feast of Unleavened Bread. Therefore, this feast is also known as “Pentecost”, which means “fifty.”

Just to give a little Biblical background to this feast, in Leviticus 23 we read that God Himself instituted seven feasts, calling them "My feasts." He instructed the people to observe them as "holy convocations" which are to be proclaimed in their seasons.

The Hebrew word for convocation is miqra, which means "rehearsal." The dictionary definition of  "rehearse" is: to practice in preparation for a public performance.


There are four important things to remember about these feasts:

- they are God's feasts,

- they are to be observed as rehearsals in preparation for a public event

- they are to be proclaimed, meaning, we are to tell others about them

- these feasts are not random events, each of them happens in a specific season.


The seven feasts of the Lord are:
(click on the picture to read more about each feast)

Spring Feasts:
Passover - Pesach

Unleavened Bread - Chag Hamotzi

First Fruits - Yom habikkurim

Summer Feast:
Weeks or Pentecost - Shavu'ot

Fall Feasts:
Trumpets - Yom Teru'ah (or Rosh HaShanah)

Atonement - Yom Kippur

Tabernacles - Sukkot

For the Jews, the month of Nisan marks the start of sacred time.

At Passover the sacrifice of the Passover lamb is commemorated, they celebrate how the angel of death "passed over" all the Hebrew homes that had the blood of the lamb on their lintels and doorposts. They were saved from death because of the lamb's blood.

The first day of the feast of Unleavened Bread celebrates the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt.

The seventh day of the feast of Unleavened Bread commemorates their crossing of the Red Sea.

God commanded that after the children of Israel entered the Promised Land, they would mark a special day to acknowledge that God had provided them fertile land on which to grow their crops. This day would be the feast of First Fruits; on this day they were to offer to Him the first grain of the spring harvest.

Renarkably, the crossing of the Red Sea coincides with this event.

The feast of Shavuot is pivotal to the Jews because it commemorates the day the Torah was given to their forefathers at Mt. Sinai, seven weeks after they left Egypt.

Yom Teru'ah is the "day of trumpets", and is also the Jewish New Year, Rosh HaShanah. It begins the Ten Days of Awe, ten days of repentance for the Jews, and culminates in Yom Kippur, the "day of Atonement".

The trumpet call (the blowing of the shofar) was the signal for the field workers to come into the Temple. The high priest actually stood on the southwestern parapet of the Temple and blew the trumpet so it could be heard in the surrounding fields. The Old Testament saints who faithfully followed the Lord would immediately stop the harvest even if it was not yet finished and leave for the Temple to worship God.

Yom Kippur is the Jewish day of confession, the highest of the ten holy days of awe which begins on Yom Teru'ah.

Sukkot is the Feast of Tabernacles, Israel’s Thanksgiving feast when they acknowledge the Fall harvest and God’s provision for them, a celebration of joy and rejoicing. As part of the observance of this feast, devout Jews build little shelters outside their homes and worship in them for seven days, a graphic reminder that God came down from heaven and "tabernacled" with His people.

Of the seven feasts, three are pilgrimage festivals. Three times a year the people were commanded to come to Jerusalem - at spring, summer, and fall, to celebrate the festivals of Passover, Pentecost, and Tabernacles. These are all agricultural harvest festivals: Passover is the barley harvest, Pentecost is the wheat harvest. These two festivals are both first fruits harvest before the final harvest at fall during the festival of Tabernacles, which is the fruit harvest.

Between the Red Sea crossing on First Fruits and the giving of the Torah on Shavuot, the Jews were to "count the omer."

The literal translation of "omer" in Hebrew is "sheaf," referring to the measure of grain that was once offered at the Temple in Jerusalem.

In the Bible, the festival of Shavuot was not connected with the giving of the Torah on Mt. Sinai, as it is today. In its original context Shavuot was an agricultural festival with the Temple as its main focus.

But since the Temple no longer stands, and most of the Jews are no longer involved in agriculture, it is valid to ask, What is the point of counting the omer today?

Many contemplatives consider this seven week period leading to Shavuot as heart preparation for remembering the day the Torah was given on Mt. Sinai.

Each of the 49 days is an opportunity to take one more step away from the impurities of Egypt, allowing ourselves to be cleansed of the stigma of being slaves and victims in a foreign land.

The "counting of the omer" is done to commemorate the events within the seven weeks that it took for the Jews to reach Sinai after crossing the Red Sea. These events include:

- the bitter waters of Marah made sweet by a tree that Moses threw into the waters,
-the camping at the oasis of Elim,
-the giving of manna,
-the provision of fresh drinking water gushing from the rock, and
-the victory in the war with the Amalekites.

Counting the omer can be a meaningful time of meditation where our spirits are renewed in preparation for Shavu'ot.

But the truth is that most Jews do not recognize that Jesus is the Messiah, and their observance of the feasts, including Pentecost (Shavu'ot), has really nothing to do with Yeshua HaMashiach (Jesus the Messiah). For them, the counting of the omer is seen as 49 days of meditating on one's best self and getting ready to receive the rules to live by on the feast of Shavu'ot.

I do respect and honor what the Jews believe, but without Jesus empowering us to make inner regeneration and heart transformation possible, sad but true, this is as far as it goes: meditating on one's best self to receive the rules to live by.

What a huge difference to celebrate the feasts with Yeshua right in the middle of it! Jesus has come to set us free from the futility of living a life based on performance orientation and its inevitable limitations. 

The feasts of the Lord are called mo'edim, literally translated as "appointed times." They are all about Yeshua. Jesus is the main focus of all these feasts.

On Nisan 14 AD 32, (some scholars say AD 33), on the feast of Passover, Jesus became the Passover Lamb who was slain, crucified on Calvary, at the exact hour that the korban Pesach (the Passover lamb) was sacrificed at the Temple. (Luke 23:54)

On Nisan 14 AD 32, just before sundown, which also marks the first day of the feast of Unleavened Bread, Jesus the sinless Son of God was buried.

On Nisan 17 AD 32, before sunrise, on the feast of First Fruits, Jesus rose from the dead.

On Sivan 6, AD 32, on the feast of Pentecost (Shavu'ot), 50 days after Passover, the Holy Spirit was poured out upon the followers of Jesus.

Thus, the first four feasts of the Lord have already been fulfilled!

These appointed times are exactly that - "appointed." Designated for a special purpose.

Jesus, slain on Passover as our Passover Lamb, was buried on the Feast of Unleavened Bread hidden as our heavenly matzah, the One without the leaven of sin. He rose from the dead on the very day of the feast of First Fruits as the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep, as written by Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:20:

But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead,

the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.

About the feast of First Fruits, look at this amazing list of events in Jewish history that have all taken place on Nisan 17, the very day of that feast:

- This is the day that Noah's flood ended. Our new creation marked by the resurrection of Jesus began on the anniversary of the rebirth of the world.

- This is the day that the Israelites crossed the Red Sea after leaving Egypt. Sages note that from the crossing of the Red Sea to the arrival at Sinai was 47 days. Three days later would total 50 days, Shavu'ot and marks the giving of the Torah by God to the Israelites.

- This is the day that the Wave Sheaf offering was made, waving the first fruit of the spring barley harvest, an act of thanksgiving to God for His provision.

-This was the day Haman was hanged, the perpetrator of the evil plot to wipe out the Jews, on the very gallows he had specifically prepared to hang Mordecai, Esther's uncle.

The three remaining fall feasts, Trumpets (Rosh HaShanah), Atonement (Yom Kippur), and Tabernacles (Sukkot), will also be surely fulfilled by Jesus Himself at the Second Coming.

On Pentecost we remember the day the Holy Spirit was given to the believers, as promised by Jesus. We honor the important work of the Holy Spirit in regenerating and breathing new life to our spirits, and guiding us into all truth. The Holy Spirit also empowers us to live as overcomers in this fallen world. 

We celebrate Pentecost as the day the church of Christ followers was born!

I spent much of this day in worship, preparing my heart for the feast of Pentecost, thanking the Holy Spirit for His outpouring upon hearts empty and waiting to be filled to overflowing.

My heart is hungry for more of His presence, and today was such a beautiful day of being reminded of the significance of this pilgrimage festival.

My prayer of response in remembrance of this day is this song of surrender by Esther Mui, entitled All That I Am. I have shared the video below.

My Personal Prayer for Pentecost:

Holy Spirit I stand in awe at the outpouring of Yourself upon Your people!

You do not give Yourself in small measure, You do not ration out Your power. 

You pour Yourself out so lavishly, so generously. 

Yet You are so gentle, so meek. 

You are God, yet You work behind the scenes, not in the front lines. 

You never seek to draw attention to Yourself! 

You are power under control. 

You are so humble, so kind, so willing to give of Yourself. 

Holy Spirit teach me more to walk in Your way. 

I so desire to walk in Your power... 

Sources:

Feast of Weeks

Feast of First Fruits

Shavuot

The Commandment of Counting

First Fruits

Third Spring Festival

The Omer: Meaning for Today

Rosh HaShanah - He's Coming Back

Yom Kippur: Day of Atonement

Walking Alone

You enlarged my path under me,

So my feet did not slip.
- Psalm 18:36

And Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him.
-Genesis 5:24

Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
- Isaiah 40:30-31




Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

- Amos 3:3

Blessed is the man who walks 

not in counsel of the ungodly,

nor stands in the path of sinners,

nor sits in the seat of the scornful;

but his delight is in the law of the Lord

and in His law he meditates day and night.

He shall be like a tree

planted by rivers of water,

that brings forth its fruit in its season,

whose leaf also shall not wither,

and whatever he does shall prosper.

- Psalm 1:1-3

Your word is a lamp to my feet

and a light to my path.

- Psalm 119:105

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord

and he delights in His way.

- Psalm 37:23

And they said one to another, 

"Did not our heart burn within us,

while he talked with us by the way,

and while he opened to us the scriptures?"

- Luke 24:32

T he end of May is just around the corner. I welcome another opportunity for me to write about some of the beautiful things that took place within the past four weeks. 

First Born Son's birthday

First on the list is First Born Son's birthday.

Our family marked this special day by eating lunch together at a restaurant. My two other children could not join us, but here is a beautiful photo of my dear family taken that day:

First Born, God-given, grandson Forerunner, me, Chosen One, and grandson Full of Hope

My first born son 34 years ago, three days after his birth

First born son and me on his 34th birthday

More birthday photos of First Born and his family:

To my precious First Born son: I will always treasure you in my heart. I always lift you up before God's throne, thanking Him for the wonderful privilege of being your mother. Truly you have gone a long way. You are determined, and you achieve the goals you set for yourself. I am proud of you, and I believe in the best you can be.

Mother's Day  

Mother's Day called for a special celebration. Worshiper woke up very early to buy flowers for me and for his wife Chosen One. He also went to the fresh market to buy a lot of seafood and prepared a special breakfast for us. 

At church, Dean Gamboa gave a beautiful sermon in honor of motherhood. Then our family went to Vito and Sue's home (Ernie's sister and brother in law) for a special Mother's Day lunch with their whole family. Tisha, Sue's daughter gave each of us mothers in the family a lovely bouquet of flowers. I forgot to take photos of that celebration, but it was truly a meaningful day. My heart was concerned for my daughter in law God-given had not been feeling well the past days. After the meal, Pastor Ernie, one of the guests, prayed for God's healing presence to surround her. 

The significance of this day means so much to me. I thank God for my own mother, for the beautiful example of wise financial stewardship, and untiring servanthood. I thank God for the woman who carried me and my sister in her womb, brought us out into this world, and nurtured us. I thank God for the dreams she dreamed for us, for the way she equipped us, to be ready to live life not always in comfort, but even in difficult times. She was industrious, never left a task half done. And she was a beautiful woman, with a joyful heart. I still miss her but her love for us will always be remembered. Together with my father, Mama lived out this verse in the way she lived: "I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need." (Philippians 4:12)

Boy and Sue's 47th Wedding Anniversary

The third important event that we celebrated this month was the wedding anniversary of my sister- in-law Sue and her husband Vito; it's their 47th year of marriage.

A sumptuous lunch was prepared with much thought and care at their farmhouse, two hours away from the city. We enjoyed the warm presence of family and friends as we feasted on food, laughter, the idyllic pastoral setting, gentle breezes, and the presence of God in our midst.

Below are a few photos I took of the special day.

The gang's all here!

Serenity

refreshing young coconut drink

piaya - a native delicacy of flaky flatbread with chewy organic sugar filling

halo-halo, a delightful concoction of milk and crushed ice topped with caramelized local fruit

relaxing after a delicious lunch

me, Miriam, Amor, Violeta, and Nelly

Celebrating Friendship
Our dear friend Menchu Jalandoni was in town this month... a beautiful excuse for us to get together as friends!

Back in Manila
I am back in Manila to be with my daughter for a few weeks. Looking forward also to spending some time with dear friends.

A belated Mother's Day lunch with Obedient One at Mom and Tina's last Sunday

It was a month of celebrating many special events, each one of them being truly significant for me. But behind the scenes, these past days I have been pensive about many things.

Certain circumstances have led me to take a closer look at what God is doing. There is a stirring in my heart to pay attention to the moves of the Holy Spirit.

It is not that I have not been paying attention. But I am being alerted to be more intentional about my walk. Abba Father is seeking for true worshipers and intercessors, watchmen who will stand in the ramparts. It is a high calling, and the requirements are stiff.



To be intentional means I am asking the right questions about the spiritual journey I am on:

Am I correctly aligned? 

Am I rightly connected? 

Who am I allowing to speak into my life? 

Who are my traveling companions? 

Am I walking in love and humility?

If I am serious about being a watchman, for my family, and for those God has put under my spiritual care, then it goes without saying that I need to be careful about the people I walk with, and the activities I allow myself to be involved in.

I truly appreciate my friends at the Family Foundations International, and the Negros Island House of Prayer. I have also greatly benefited from the Bible studies given by Lyndon every Monday at Vito and Sue's home. In this season, it is crucial that I walk with fellow travelers who are traveling in the same direction that God is leading.

These days I am aware that Abba Father is calling me to be re-aligned with His kingdoms purposes, and it is inevitable that I separate myself from those who will hinder me from doing so. I realize that there are times when I may have to walk alone, if need be.




There have been a number of dear family members and friends needing prayers these days. Jing's dad just recently passed away after battling a series of medical concerns, and I know just how painful this is for their whole family. Yesterday, a dear friend Moses underwent a 16 hour surgery to remove a deeply entrenched thyroid cancerous tumor, and now we are storming heaven for his full recovery from such a delicate procedure. These past weeks I have had dreams of friends in difficult situations and I had awakened with a sense of urgency to pray for them. Loved ones needing God's intervention in their marriages... to be set free from the prison of unforgiveness... healing in broken relationships.

My heart breaks for all of them. Mainly because I understand their pain, and I can't do very much. Maybe a shoulder to cry on, yes. Or offer a listening ear. And be a friend who will gladly stay by your side, and try to understand. Even cry with you.

And of course, to pray and intercede. Yes, storm heaven's gates for the need that is so deep.

But looking inside to take a spiritual inventory, I am painfully aware of some inconsistencies in my heart. I feel so inadequate.

More adjustments need to be made.

I want to grow some more...

And to overflow...

Today I asked the Holy Spirit for fresh manna... for a fresh outpouring of His anointing on my prayer life. Abba Father is telling me I need to bring an empty cup before Him that He may fill it to overflowing.

Walking alone with God is very much on my heart these days, as the month is coming to an end.

To stay as close as possible to the source of living water, the well that never runs dry.

Enoch is a beautiful example of a man who walked with God. They walked together for 300 years, and during that time, a beautiful relationship must surely have developed between them.

Amos 3:3 asks, Can two walk together unless they are agreed?

Walking with my Abba Father means we have the same kingdom mindset, and that our hearts burn for the same reasons.

We cannot agree to disagree. I have to be passionate for the same things that God is passionate about.

I have been grateful for what Pastor Edgar preached at Victory Church last Sunday. He said, Christ has come to secure our identity, our destiny, and our victory. Are we walking in His purposes?" A timely word indeed.

The Sunday worship at Victory is always among the high points of my visits to Manila. Pastor Edgar Gorre's preaching is low-key, not high-powered. But it is anointed and relevant and meaningful. Always. This man of God is humble, and preaches without a personal agenda. I thank God for men like him.

This has been a month of evaluating my priorities, my commitments, and the people I allow to speak into my life.


I end this post with this beautiful quote from A. W. Tozer:

"The man who has passed on into the divine Presence in actual inner experience will not find many who understand him. A certain amount of social fellowship will of course be his as he mingles with religious persons in the regular activities of the church, but true spiritual fellowship will be hard to find. But he should not expect things to be otherwise. After all, he is a stranger and a pilgrim, and the journey he takes is not on his feet but in his heart. He walks with God in the garden of his own soul and who but God can walk there with him?... 

"He searches for friends upon whose garments he can detect the smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia out of the ivory palaces, and finding few or none he, like Mary of old, keeps these things in his heart.

"It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. His inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else." (The Saint Must Walk Alone)

My name for the month of May is: Walking Alone.

God's blessings follow you and await you at every turn:
   when you don't follow the advice of those who delight in wicked    schemes,
   when you avoid sin's highway,
   when judgment and sarcasm beckon you, but you refuse.

For you, the Eternal's Word is your happiness,
   It is your focus -- from dusk to dawn.

You are like a tree,
    planted by flowing, cool streams of water that never run dry.
Your fruit ripens in its time;
   your leaves never fade or curl in the summer sun.
No matter what you do, you prosper.

- Psalm 1:1-3 (The Voice Bible)




As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness;
when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.

-Psalm 17:15