"Hineni": Here I Stand

Here I am, Lord.

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:

"Whom shall I send,

And who will go for Us?"

Then I said, "Here I am! Send me!"

- Isaiah 6:8

Is this not the fast that I have chosen:

To loose the bonds of wickedness,

To undo the heavy burdens,

To let the oppressed go free,

And that you break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,

And that you bring to your house

the poor who are cast out;

When you see the naked,

that you cover him,

And not hide yourself from your own flesh?

Then your light shall break forth

like the morning,

Your healing shall spring forth speedily,

And your righteousness shall go before you;

The glory of the LORD shall be 

your rear guard,

Then you shall call

and the LORD will answer;

You shall cry, and He will say,

"Here I am."

- Isaiah 58:6-9

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro

throughout the whole earth

to show Himself strong in behalf of those

who heart is loyal to Him.

- 2 Chronicles 16:9

And He changes the times and the seasons;

He deposes kings and raises up others;

He gives wisdom to the wise

and knowledge to the discerning.

He removes kings and raises up kings;

He reveals deep and hidden things;

He knows what lies in darkness,

and light dwells with Him.

- Daniel 2:21-22

There's a stirring in the atmosphere. I can sense it in my spirit. 

There's a shift taking place, but it is something that I can't clearly define or explain.

It has been said that a new spiritual season is marked by a new sound, a new song. 

There is a restlessness deep inside, a knowing that things are not what they seem to be. 

There is a deep hunger, some kind of a holy discontent. In my heart burns a desire for something more. 

I long to reach beyond, to move up higher, to go deeper.

Yes, I can discern a different kind of sound coming from the spirit realm; I hunger and thirst to be in touch with heavenly melodies.

& & & & &

During my visit to Manila last June, my friend Priscilla invited me to join a systematic study of the Bible under the Community Bible Study International (CBSI), a group that she has been involved with for the past three years. Every Wednesday morning, about a hundred women gather at a designated venue for an in-depth study of God's Word. 

God does operate in our lives according to seasons. Priscilla had already talked to me about this a year ago, but at that time when she first brought it up, my schedule did not have room for it. This time however, an interest was sparked in my heart after she mentioned it to me again. I met with Tina, the CBSI national director, who gave me a deeper understanding about the program. The Bible is their textbook, and the curriculum is divided into modules of six weekly lessons per module. 

I wanted to give it a try. This meant having to stay in Manila for six weeks to enable me to complete one module of six classes. Upon returning to Bacolod by the end of June, I checked my schedule and realized that a seven-week window of opportunity was available for me to sign up for the course.  A sense of excitement filled my heart for this new door that was opening, for these past months I had desired to go into a structured inductive study of Scriptures. Indeed, I felt God's favor with every step I took. 

After six fruitful weeks in my home city of Bacolod, I returned to Manila on August 17, in time for the weekly classes which were to run from August 22 to September 26. 

Aside from attending the CBSI classes every Wednesday morning, and devoting some time to studying the assigned Bible passages, there was really no other agenda for me. I welcomed the unstructured time on my hands and prayed that the Father would help me make wise use of it. My return flight, booked for October 1, was still a long way off. I looked forward to my extended stay in this city, eager to find out what new things my heavenly Father had in store for me.

My heart was aware of the new season for our nation. At the Negros Island House of Prayer, we had been regularly praying fervently for our nation, and the nation of Israel. A group of us had also been taking intercession seriously, and we prayed, as much as possible, according to the eight watches of the day. 

On September 1st, I attended the Worship, Warfare, and Intercession Training Module conducted by the Intercessors for the Philippines (IFP). 

It was an amazing time, and words are not enough to describe what took place. We spent the whole day in non-stop worship, intercession, warfare, and exhortation from the Word. The worship leaders were flowing in the anointing. We were asked to remove our shoes for truly, the ground on which we stood was holy. The presence of the Lord was real. He is raising up an end-time company of prophetic worshipers and intercessors. We went down on our knees in repentance, not only for our personal sins but also for the sins of our nation - corruption, idolatry, greed, pride, immorality, violence, occultism ... and many other sins that have grieved the heart of a holy God.

During worship I received God's word for me in this season, found in 2 Chronicles 16:9 -

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro

throughout the whole earth

to show Himself strong in behalf of those

who heart is loyal to Him.

The Father is looking for loyal, steadfast, committed hearts. People whose ears are inclined to Him. People whose hearts are ready to do as He says. Without hesitation. Without reluctance. People who are determined to go all the way, no turning back. No shrinking back. People who are willing to move out of their secure environments and places of comfort. Because He stands ready to show Himself mighty and strong and committed in their behalf. He wants people who will stand as watchmen on the wall, waiting... watching... obeying.

Those words gripped my heart and caused me to look inside my own heart. I didn't want any more religious language... mere talk. I've said that so many times before. I wanted my heart to break for the things that break His heart... to be consumed with the things that consume His heart. I didn't want any unholy mixtures. The past months, I have lived with a sense of not living up to my faith... of not walking my talk... of not praying enough... I repented of complacency, inconsistency, and hypocrisy.

God was inviting me to go deeper... 

That morning I asked God to forgive me, and to put His seal of approval on me.

"Set me as a seal upon Your heart, as a seal upon Your arm," I prayed. I know God takes my words seriously... committing to be a worshiper and an intercessor for His kingdom is serious business.

I felt God's affirmation that morning. "You are loved, you are valued. I believe in you."

His words silenced the accusing voices of the enemy. 

Indeed, many are called... but few are chosen. 

God gives the invitation to all, but not all heed the call. That is why Jesus keeps saying these words to the churches - "He who has ears to hear, let him hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches."

And to him who overcomes and remains steadfast to the end... there are promises in store.

& & & & &

That training module I attended on the very first day of the September set the tone for the rest of the month and brought confirmation that I was in Manila for another reason, not only for the Bible classes I had enrolled in. It became clear that God had another purpose for my being in that place at that time.

I was in this place for such a time as this, because if I had not come here, I would not have experienced the things God had prepared for me to experience.

Oh, yes... that really made so much sense. In the early years as of my born again Christian experience, I struggled against being too cerebral. What God wanted was clear to me - He wanted heart transformation, passion, dedication.

I really want to love God more... but there have been times when I felt that it is still too much of an intellectual response for me.

For me to already be dancing in worship, raising my arms, and actually kneeling and bowing before Him... this is such an awesome breakthrough for me. But I want more.

And all throughout the month of September this is what God had been doing in my life.

Cracking up the walls, softening the callous hardened places with His holy oil, chiseling off the rough edges...

That first day of worship, warfare, and intercession opened up for me opportunities to participate in the worship celebration of the fall feasts, the only three remaining feasts of the Lord that are awaiting their fulfillment.

Some prophets sent by the Lord to minister to our nation received a clear instruction from God that He wants us to celebrate His feasts. This act of obedience is part of the conditions for the release of jubilee blessings for our beloved country.

Celebrating the feasts is really a prophetic act. Celebrating the first three feasts (Passover, Unleavened Bread, and First Fruits) helps us remember the work of redemption of our Lord Jesus on the cross, His burial, and resurrection. (Passover - The Seven Feasts of Israel and Jesus)

Pentecost is the fulfillment of the fourth feast, the Feast of Weeks. Celebrating this feast helps us remember the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on the church.

It is amazing that each of these four redemptive events took place on the exact day of the feast.  We celebrate the three remaining fall feasts as a rehearsal for the second coming of Christ, looking forward to the sure fulfillment of these feasts in the near future. 

Celebrating these feasts is a way of being connected to the Hebraic roots of our Christian faith. 

There is so much to share about what God did in my heart when I participated in the celebration of these feasts. Another post needs to be written for this.

What a privilege it was! I can never thank the Lord enough for what He has done for me - bringing me to Manila in this season just so I could receive a first hand experience and deeper understanding of what His feasts are all about!

We celebrated Rosh HaShanah (Feast of Trumpets) on September 17, Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) on September 27, and Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles) on October 1.

Another significant thing that took place in the month of September was my observance of the Sabbath for the very first time. At sundown of Friday, September 21, I began my very first Sabbath, observed in the way I believe God wanted it done.

We may have our own personal points of view, or personal conviction, about keeping the Sabbath. But I took time to study the passages relating to the Sabbath in the Bible, and with a heart that was open to obeying what God says about it, I went ahead to observe it for the first time. I set aside what I thought the Sabbath meant, and I put aside what is convenient for me in the observance of this day. 

All I said to God was, "Yes, Lord... I will do it Your way."  

Of course, I couldn't be true to it all the way, as in not doing any kind of work on this day. Many orthodox Jews have lamps with electronic timers so they won't have to turn the lights on and off themselves, or prepare pre-folded tissue papers to avoid exerting effort in tearing off tissue papers for personal use in the restroom. 

What I understand is that because Jesus has already done the finished work of salvation on the cross, I was no longer under the law, but under grace. But, I wanted to observe the Sabbath as a day that God blessed, a wonderful provision for us to rest, and be re-fueled, re-oiled, renewed, refreshed.

It was truly a meaningful experience. (Read about it here: My Sabbath: Dethroning Unforgiveness)

At sundown of September 26, we began our worship celebration of Yom Kippur, together with a thousand other intercessors affiliated with the Intercessors for the Philippines. Also called the Day of Atonement, this feast was the culmination of the Days of Awe which began on Rosh HaShanah ten days earlier.

It was a faith-filled night, my very first time to fully absorb the meaning of Christ shedding His blood on the cross to atone for my sins. As the worship went on I was down on my knees on the floor, sobbing. I really could not stop crying. It was such a healing moment for me.

I know God is doing something new in this season, in my life, in my nation, and in the nation of Israel as well.

I felt it was important for me to participate in all the fall feasts, so instead of returning to Bacolod on October 1, I purchased another plane ticket for October 3. It was a decision I did not regret making. During the Feast of Tabernacles, there was such an outpouring and anointing of joy in our midst!

It has been my practice to write an end of the month blog post, summarizing what the Lord has been teaching me for the past four weeks of the month, but this time I felt I had to wait until the eight days of the Feast of Tabernacles was over. Then I could write about the past month, in reference to the three fall feasts, and choose an appropriate name for it.

Today, October 8, the Feast of Tabernacles ended at sundown.

I look back to the awesome month of September and all that God has allowed to take place in my life.

A beautiful experience of receiving spiritual manna, the fresh word of God, studied together every Wednesday for six weeks, with a group of beautiful women, hungry for His living bread.

A worship warfare and intercession training module that opened my eyes to the pattern of  heavenly worship, and an invitation to let God take me to a higher dimension...

Celebrating the three fall feasts with fellow intercessors, bowing at His feet in repentance and worship, and rejoicing at His glorious provision of all our needs...

My words will never do justice to the kind of experience I had these past weeks, but that will not hinder me from sharing about it the best way I can.

Also, in giving the month of September a significant name, I pray God will use this word, and breathe life to anyone who receives it in faith.

Hineni.

It is a Hebrew word that is translated in English as "Here I am."

In the Bible God has issued several "double calls" - Moses, Moses... Abraham, Abraham... Jacob, Jacob...  and several others.

In each case, the response of the person being called was, "Hineni." Here I am.

It is really a response coming from a position of humility, and weakness.

A deeper meaning of this word is, "Here I stand."

Ready to do Your word. Ready to obey Your command. 

Here I stand. At Your service, Lord. 

It was the same word that Isaiah used in response to God when God asked him, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?"

"Hineni. Send me."

"It is a covenant response." 

A response that says to God, "Speak Lord, for Your servant is listening."

Paul Wilbur puts it so beautifully:

Hineni. It's a covenant response. We read it in our English Bibles as "Here I am." But it's so much more than that. It's the response of Abraham when He said, "Take your son and offer him." It was the response of Isaac climbing the mountain, with the wood on his back. "Here I am." It means more than just "What do you want?" No, it means, "You have my full attention. I resist all distractions. And everything that is me is now available to You. You speak the word, hineni." And because this is a covenant, at that response He says in Isaiah 58, "Since you respond to Me in this way, your light will go forth like the dawn, and in a time of trouble you will call to Me, and I, Jehovah, will say to you, hineni. Here I am." (Paul Wilbur at Rosh Hashana 5772) 

This is my name for September 2012, but it is also my name for the new season that I am entering. 

Hineni.

When you hear God calling you, it means He is calling you to come up to a higher dimension. Respond and say to Him, "Hineni. Here I am."

Show Me Your Face

Paul Wilbur

Moses stood on the mountain
Waiting for You to pass by 
You put Your hand over his face 
So in Your presence he wouldn’t die 
All of Israel saw the glory 
And it shines down through the age 
Now You’ve called me to boldly seek Your face 

David knew there was something more 
Than the ark of Your presence 
And in a manger a baby was born 
Among kings and peasants 
All of Israel saw the glory 
And it shines down through the age 
And now You call us to boldly seek Your face 

Show me Your face, Lord 
Show me Your face 
Then gird up my legs that I might stand in this holy place 
Show me Your face, Lord 
Your power and grace 
I could make it to the end if I can just see Your face 
Yes we can make it to the end if we can just see Your face.