"Hineni": Here I Stand

Here I am, Lord.

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:

"Whom shall I send,

And who will go for Us?"

Then I said, "Here I am! Send me!"

- Isaiah 6:8

Is this not the fast that I have chosen:

To loose the bonds of wickedness,

To undo the heavy burdens,

To let the oppressed go free,

And that you break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,

And that you bring to your house

the poor who are cast out;

When you see the naked,

that you cover him,

And not hide yourself from your own flesh?

Then your light shall break forth

like the morning,

Your healing shall spring forth speedily,

And your righteousness shall go before you;

The glory of the LORD shall be 

your rear guard,

Then you shall call

and the LORD will answer;

You shall cry, and He will say,

"Here I am."

- Isaiah 58:6-9

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro

throughout the whole earth

to show Himself strong in behalf of those

who heart is loyal to Him.

- 2 Chronicles 16:9

And He changes the times and the seasons;

He deposes kings and raises up others;

He gives wisdom to the wise

and knowledge to the discerning.

He removes kings and raises up kings;

He reveals deep and hidden things;

He knows what lies in darkness,

and light dwells with Him.

- Daniel 2:21-22

There's a stirring in the atmosphere. I can sense it in my spirit. 

There's a shift taking place, but it is something that I can't clearly define or explain.

It has been said that a new spiritual season is marked by a new sound, a new song. 

There is a restlessness deep inside, a knowing that things are not what they seem to be. 

There is a deep hunger, some kind of a holy discontent. In my heart burns a desire for something more. 

I long to reach beyond, to move up higher, to go deeper.

Yes, I can discern a different kind of sound coming from the spirit realm; I hunger and thirst to be in touch with heavenly melodies.

& & & & &

During my visit to Manila last June, my friend Priscilla invited me to join a systematic study of the Bible under the Community Bible Study International (CBSI), a group that she has been involved with for the past three years. Every Wednesday morning, about a hundred women gather at a designated venue for an in-depth study of God's Word. 

God does operate in our lives according to seasons. Priscilla had already talked to me about this a year ago, but at that time when she first brought it up, my schedule did not have room for it. This time however, an interest was sparked in my heart after she mentioned it to me again. I met with Tina, the CBSI national director, who gave me a deeper understanding about the program. The Bible is their textbook, and the curriculum is divided into modules of six weekly lessons per module. 

I wanted to give it a try. This meant having to stay in Manila for six weeks to enable me to complete one module of six classes. Upon returning to Bacolod by the end of June, I checked my schedule and realized that a seven-week window of opportunity was available for me to sign up for the course.  A sense of excitement filled my heart for this new door that was opening, for these past months I had desired to go into a structured inductive study of Scriptures. Indeed, I felt God's favor with every step I took. 

After six fruitful weeks in my home city of Bacolod, I returned to Manila on August 17, in time for the weekly classes which were to run from August 22 to September 26. 

Aside from attending the CBSI classes every Wednesday morning, and devoting some time to studying the assigned Bible passages, there was really no other agenda for me. I welcomed the unstructured time on my hands and prayed that the Father would help me make wise use of it. My return flight, booked for October 1, was still a long way off. I looked forward to my extended stay in this city, eager to find out what new things my heavenly Father had in store for me.

My heart was aware of the new season for our nation. At the Negros Island House of Prayer, we had been regularly praying fervently for our nation, and the nation of Israel. A group of us had also been taking intercession seriously, and we prayed, as much as possible, according to the eight watches of the day. 

On September 1st, I attended the Worship, Warfare, and Intercession Training Module conducted by the Intercessors for the Philippines (IFP). 

It was an amazing time, and words are not enough to describe what took place. We spent the whole day in non-stop worship, intercession, warfare, and exhortation from the Word. The worship leaders were flowing in the anointing. We were asked to remove our shoes for truly, the ground on which we stood was holy. The presence of the Lord was real. He is raising up an end-time company of prophetic worshipers and intercessors. We went down on our knees in repentance, not only for our personal sins but also for the sins of our nation - corruption, idolatry, greed, pride, immorality, violence, occultism ... and many other sins that have grieved the heart of a holy God.

During worship I received God's word for me in this season, found in 2 Chronicles 16:9 -

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro

throughout the whole earth

to show Himself strong in behalf of those

who heart is loyal to Him.

The Father is looking for loyal, steadfast, committed hearts. People whose ears are inclined to Him. People whose hearts are ready to do as He says. Without hesitation. Without reluctance. People who are determined to go all the way, no turning back. No shrinking back. People who are willing to move out of their secure environments and places of comfort. Because He stands ready to show Himself mighty and strong and committed in their behalf. He wants people who will stand as watchmen on the wall, waiting... watching... obeying.

Those words gripped my heart and caused me to look inside my own heart. I didn't want any more religious language... mere talk. I've said that so many times before. I wanted my heart to break for the things that break His heart... to be consumed with the things that consume His heart. I didn't want any unholy mixtures. The past months, I have lived with a sense of not living up to my faith... of not walking my talk... of not praying enough... I repented of complacency, inconsistency, and hypocrisy.

God was inviting me to go deeper... 

That morning I asked God to forgive me, and to put His seal of approval on me.

"Set me as a seal upon Your heart, as a seal upon Your arm," I prayed. I know God takes my words seriously... committing to be a worshiper and an intercessor for His kingdom is serious business.

I felt God's affirmation that morning. "You are loved, you are valued. I believe in you."

His words silenced the accusing voices of the enemy. 

Indeed, many are called... but few are chosen. 

God gives the invitation to all, but not all heed the call. That is why Jesus keeps saying these words to the churches - "He who has ears to hear, let him hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches."

And to him who overcomes and remains steadfast to the end... there are promises in store.

& & & & &

That training module I attended on the very first day of the September set the tone for the rest of the month and brought confirmation that I was in Manila for another reason, not only for the Bible classes I had enrolled in. It became clear that God had another purpose for my being in that place at that time.

I was in this place for such a time as this, because if I had not come here, I would not have experienced the things God had prepared for me to experience.

Oh, yes... that really made so much sense. In the early years as of my born again Christian experience, I struggled against being too cerebral. What God wanted was clear to me - He wanted heart transformation, passion, dedication.

I really want to love God more... but there have been times when I felt that it is still too much of an intellectual response for me.

For me to already be dancing in worship, raising my arms, and actually kneeling and bowing before Him... this is such an awesome breakthrough for me. But I want more.

And all throughout the month of September this is what God had been doing in my life.

Cracking up the walls, softening the callous hardened places with His holy oil, chiseling off the rough edges...

That first day of worship, warfare, and intercession opened up for me opportunities to participate in the worship celebration of the fall feasts, the only three remaining feasts of the Lord that are awaiting their fulfillment.

Some prophets sent by the Lord to minister to our nation received a clear instruction from God that He wants us to celebrate His feasts. This act of obedience is part of the conditions for the release of jubilee blessings for our beloved country.

Celebrating the feasts is really a prophetic act. Celebrating the first three feasts (Passover, Unleavened Bread, and First Fruits) helps us remember the work of redemption of our Lord Jesus on the cross, His burial, and resurrection. (Passover - The Seven Feasts of Israel and Jesus)

Pentecost is the fulfillment of the fourth feast, the Feast of Weeks. Celebrating this feast helps us remember the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on the church.

It is amazing that each of these four redemptive events took place on the exact day of the feast.  We celebrate the three remaining fall feasts as a rehearsal for the second coming of Christ, looking forward to the sure fulfillment of these feasts in the near future. 

Celebrating these feasts is a way of being connected to the Hebraic roots of our Christian faith. 

There is so much to share about what God did in my heart when I participated in the celebration of these feasts. Another post needs to be written for this.

What a privilege it was! I can never thank the Lord enough for what He has done for me - bringing me to Manila in this season just so I could receive a first hand experience and deeper understanding of what His feasts are all about!

We celebrated Rosh HaShanah (Feast of Trumpets) on September 17, Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) on September 27, and Sukkot (Feast of Tabernacles) on October 1.

Another significant thing that took place in the month of September was my observance of the Sabbath for the very first time. At sundown of Friday, September 21, I began my very first Sabbath, observed in the way I believe God wanted it done.

We may have our own personal points of view, or personal conviction, about keeping the Sabbath. But I took time to study the passages relating to the Sabbath in the Bible, and with a heart that was open to obeying what God says about it, I went ahead to observe it for the first time. I set aside what I thought the Sabbath meant, and I put aside what is convenient for me in the observance of this day. 

All I said to God was, "Yes, Lord... I will do it Your way."  

Of course, I couldn't be true to it all the way, as in not doing any kind of work on this day. Many orthodox Jews have lamps with electronic timers so they won't have to turn the lights on and off themselves, or prepare pre-folded tissue papers to avoid exerting effort in tearing off tissue papers for personal use in the restroom. 

What I understand is that because Jesus has already done the finished work of salvation on the cross, I was no longer under the law, but under grace. But, I wanted to observe the Sabbath as a day that God blessed, a wonderful provision for us to rest, and be re-fueled, re-oiled, renewed, refreshed.

It was truly a meaningful experience. (Read about it here: My Sabbath: Dethroning Unforgiveness)

At sundown of September 26, we began our worship celebration of Yom Kippur, together with a thousand other intercessors affiliated with the Intercessors for the Philippines. Also called the Day of Atonement, this feast was the culmination of the Days of Awe which began on Rosh HaShanah ten days earlier.

It was a faith-filled night, my very first time to fully absorb the meaning of Christ shedding His blood on the cross to atone for my sins. As the worship went on I was down on my knees on the floor, sobbing. I really could not stop crying. It was such a healing moment for me.

I know God is doing something new in this season, in my life, in my nation, and in the nation of Israel as well.

I felt it was important for me to participate in all the fall feasts, so instead of returning to Bacolod on October 1, I purchased another plane ticket for October 3. It was a decision I did not regret making. During the Feast of Tabernacles, there was such an outpouring and anointing of joy in our midst!

It has been my practice to write an end of the month blog post, summarizing what the Lord has been teaching me for the past four weeks of the month, but this time I felt I had to wait until the eight days of the Feast of Tabernacles was over. Then I could write about the past month, in reference to the three fall feasts, and choose an appropriate name for it.

Today, October 8, the Feast of Tabernacles ended at sundown.

I look back to the awesome month of September and all that God has allowed to take place in my life.

A beautiful experience of receiving spiritual manna, the fresh word of God, studied together every Wednesday for six weeks, with a group of beautiful women, hungry for His living bread.

A worship warfare and intercession training module that opened my eyes to the pattern of  heavenly worship, and an invitation to let God take me to a higher dimension...

Celebrating the three fall feasts with fellow intercessors, bowing at His feet in repentance and worship, and rejoicing at His glorious provision of all our needs...

My words will never do justice to the kind of experience I had these past weeks, but that will not hinder me from sharing about it the best way I can.

Also, in giving the month of September a significant name, I pray God will use this word, and breathe life to anyone who receives it in faith.

Hineni.

It is a Hebrew word that is translated in English as "Here I am."

In the Bible God has issued several "double calls" - Moses, Moses... Abraham, Abraham... Jacob, Jacob...  and several others.

In each case, the response of the person being called was, "Hineni." Here I am.

It is really a response coming from a position of humility, and weakness.

A deeper meaning of this word is, "Here I stand."

Ready to do Your word. Ready to obey Your command. 

Here I stand. At Your service, Lord. 

It was the same word that Isaiah used in response to God when God asked him, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?"

"Hineni. Send me."

"It is a covenant response." 

A response that says to God, "Speak Lord, for Your servant is listening."

Paul Wilbur puts it so beautifully:

Hineni. It's a covenant response. We read it in our English Bibles as "Here I am." But it's so much more than that. It's the response of Abraham when He said, "Take your son and offer him." It was the response of Isaac climbing the mountain, with the wood on his back. "Here I am." It means more than just "What do you want?" No, it means, "You have my full attention. I resist all distractions. And everything that is me is now available to You. You speak the word, hineni." And because this is a covenant, at that response He says in Isaiah 58, "Since you respond to Me in this way, your light will go forth like the dawn, and in a time of trouble you will call to Me, and I, Jehovah, will say to you, hineni. Here I am." (Paul Wilbur at Rosh Hashana 5772) 

This is my name for September 2012, but it is also my name for the new season that I am entering. 

Hineni.

When you hear God calling you, it means He is calling you to come up to a higher dimension. Respond and say to Him, "Hineni. Here I am."

Show Me Your Face

Paul Wilbur

Moses stood on the mountain
Waiting for You to pass by 
You put Your hand over his face 
So in Your presence he wouldn’t die 
All of Israel saw the glory 
And it shines down through the age 
Now You’ve called me to boldly seek Your face 

David knew there was something more 
Than the ark of Your presence 
And in a manger a baby was born 
Among kings and peasants 
All of Israel saw the glory 
And it shines down through the age 
And now You call us to boldly seek Your face 

Show me Your face, Lord 
Show me Your face 
Then gird up my legs that I might stand in this holy place 
Show me Your face, Lord 
Your power and grace 
I could make it to the end if I can just see Your face 
Yes we can make it to the end if we can just see Your face.

Feast of Tabernacles: A Drink Offering

Feast of Tabernacles pastel painting

by Valerie R. Jackson

The Feast of Tabernacles this year officially begins at sundown on September 30, and ends at sundown on October 8.

Celebrate this feast with all your heart for eight days, and when the season of the fall feasts is concluded, offer the Lord the drink offering He has requested, in the prophetic word given to Jill Shannon.

As Jill was writing her book A Prophetic Calendar:The Feasts of Israel, she asked the Lord to insert His word about this feast, and this is what she received:

The Lord's Heart for a Drink Offering

 I see drops of water, drops of rain, drops of tears, falling from heavenly clouds. I see tears of God watering the earth, falling into rivulets and gullies, forming streams and leading down into rivers, forming flowing rivers in dry riverbeds, and flowing down into a mighty ocean, the drink offering of tears, the tears of My people, the tears of God, the tears of Messiah, the tears of those who thirst for justice but do not find it, the tears of those who weep for the victims of lawlessness, but find no comfort on this earth.

I AM the Lord, and I AM looking for My drink offering to fall from the skies, fall from the eyes, the eyes of men and angels, the eyes of women and children, the eyes of the wealthy and successful, the eyes of the complacent and the satisfied, the eyes of the laborers who float through each work day in a trance-like stupor, sleepwalking and unfeeling, completing their daily assignments like robot-slaves.

I AM looking for passion, for tears, for shouts, for extravagant rivers of water to be poured out and wasted before Me. Waste your sleep! Waste your meals! Waste your spare time on Me. Waste your night hours in silent meditation upon My heart. Waste your tears on My crucifixion, and on what My love for you cost Me!

I want a drink offering. I do not desire the blood of your children! Stop shedding the blood of my children and start shedding tears of pity and repentance. These will be poured out at the basin of My holy altar in Heaven; these will run down over the souls of the martyrs, who cry out under My altar, who themselves were poured out as drink offerings before Me as they were killed for My testimony.

I see raindrops falling from Heaven, autumn rains, needful rains, the rains of crop growth, the rains of fertility, the rains of restoration, renewal, and revival of the earth and its inhabitants.

Let all the nations come and celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles with My people Israel! Let them wave their branches to Me and shout with loud voices My praise. Let them celebrate with all their might and provoke My people to envy and desire, that they might desire Me and crave My face. Then will I open the windows of Heaven, and the river of water and fire from My throne will both water the earth and burn jealously all the pride and greed of men, even My Church.

I will send down fire on your sacrifice as you water it with your tears, as Elijah soaked his sacrifice before I came and consumed it with fire. I will consume your offerings as I consumed Solomon's offering, if you will mingle your tears with Mine, the very tears of God.

This is My drink offering, and this is My heart for the Feast of Tabernacles....

A Time to Keep Silent

photo source

... a time to keep silence,

and a time to speak.

- Ecclesiastes 3:7

Somewhere we know that without silence 

words lose their meaning, 

that without listening 

speaking no longer heals, 

that without distance 

closeness cannot cure.

- Henri Nouwen

If you never learn the language of gratitude,

you will never be on speaking terms with happiness.

- Proverb

For God alone my soul waits in silence...

- Psalm 62:1

One of the things I had to get used to when Ernie passed away four years ago was spending a lot of time in silence.

Ernie and I loved to talk. About things... about ourselves... our goals... our joys and sorrows... our children... about our past... about our future. Just about anything.

Sometimes, during the day, I would receive a text message from him with these words, "Hi... what do you want to eat for dinner?"  

Facebook and Twitter were not in vogue yet at that time, so whenever he, or I, was traveling, we would send a text to one another, for example,  "Just checked in... waiting to board my flight."

Or sometimes, it would be just three little words... "I love you."

We had important responsibilities during the day - he was a Dean of a college, and one of the Vice Presidents of a university, while I was principal and ministry head of our church school, so we had worlds of our own. But in the late afternoon, when he would come to pick me up from school, we would already begin to talk.

Of course, we did not talk all the time. We also had our "alone" times, when words were not needed. In fact, our relationship was such that we were not clingy. We had a big enough world to do what we needed to do while being apart from each other.  We had a very secure marriage.  He was not the selfish, jealous type, he gave me so much room and freedom to be myself.

And probably it was because our hearts were open to each other that we enjoyed that kind of security in our relationship.

Now that Ernie is gone, there really is no one to engage in with this kind of meaningful conversation.

As I had mentioned in an earlier post, what I miss the most in not having Ernie around is the sense of belonging to someone who truly cares. Someone who truly shares my world. Someone who truly shares my heart.

I've been in Manila for nearly 45 days already. Most of my days here are spent in silence. When my daughter Obedient One leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning, we do not see each other again until around 10:00 at night. And by then, I am half asleep, and there's not much we can talk about at that hour.

On some days I derive a quiet sense of joy when I go on a train trip. I put on my sunglasses, and listen to my worship songs on my iPod... I'm anonymous, and almost invisible.  I take in the sights and sounds, look at the people around me. On Wednesdays I go early for my weekly Bible class at the Greenhills Christian Fellowship.

It's rush hour. There are long lines of people at the different stations that we pass by. My heart is moved with compassion when people rush into the trains, but there's hardly enough room for even one more passenger. Yet, at the female trains, reserved only for women, elderly, and children... there's rarely an angry word despite the rush. The commuters understand. We are all in it together. 

I look at the faces of the people, some are sad, some are lost in thought, many are very beautiful young women of the Metro Manila work force, well dressed, and almost everyone, in the morning, has just had a bath. There is a sweet fragrance whenever I step into the female trains at this hour.

Each passenger has a story to tell. I lift up a silent prayer for them.

When I get off the station, I walk slowly, even during the times that I am running late. I refuse to be rushed.

I take deliberate steps, quick... but unhurried.

Yesterday I went out on errands. At about mid-afternoon, I reached the Trinoma Mall, and after browsing around the National Bookstore, I suddenly had a craving for my favorite Generals' Chicken at the Recipes Restaurant. I walked in and ordered it.

Yes, I have gotten used to going to Starbucks alone, Dairy Queen, or Red Mango. Even just deciding to go to Cyma for my favorite lamb chops and Greek salad... and eating it alone. I've gotten used to it.

After four years of being a widow, I'm quite used to it already.

When I am in my home city of Bacolod, or here in Metro Manila, I have girl friends that I meet up with from time to time. We go to a movie, or have an enjoyable time sharing a meal together. There is a group that I study the Bible with regularly. There are ministry opportunities. But that is not everyday.

Yesterday, while buying some groceries at the Landmark supermarket, I got to thinking about the days when my children were still young. Those were happy days, bringing up a family. My husband and I, we were a team. And I also got to thinking about my own childhood days, when I really didn't have to worry about anything, because Papa and Mama were there - they took good care of me and my sister.

I was well cared for - by my parents... by my husband.

And now, circumstances have changed. The autumn season has come. I really am alone now. 

That's the reality. And that's the truth.

No, I'm not sad or lonely. It just makes me think of how silent my world has become. There is plenty of time to think my thoughts.

One lovely quote goes this way: Change is inevitable, but growth is intentional.

I never want to stop growing, no matter what season I find myself in.

And that verse in Ecclesiastes is so true - there is a time to speak, and there is a time to keep silence.

To be honest, I am even enjoying this season of silence that I am in.

Sometimes when I am in the presence of someone who chatters... I realize that the empty talk jars my senses. 

My dad used to tell me, "Never trust a person who talks too much."

I have always heeded that advice, because my father was a man of few words. He surrounded our life with beauty, with music, and with meaningful words. We would sit in the room, just reading. Words were not needed. We felt the warmth and the depth of his love.

photo source

God's word is rich with reminders to us to use our words, and our silence, wisely.

Where words are many, sin is not absent. That is one of my favorite proverbs.

With the walls of Jericho looming high above the Israelites, they were commanded by God to go around it in silence for seven days. Then came the precise moment to shout, and the walls crumbled to the ground.

In early August, just before I left for Manila, two of Lyndon's Bible studies were about meaningful silence.

I know it is not accidental. 

When Jesus was about to raise the daughter of Jairus back to life, he only allowed the girl's parents and some of his disciples to enter the room with him. (Mark 5:40) The rest of the people he put outside, and he closed the door behind Him. The lesson is clear. Do not allow unbelief to enter the room with you... do not give unbelief a voice.

In the story of the Shunamite woman whose son died, Elisha did the same thing. In 2 Kings 4:33, we read that Elisha shuts the door behind him before praying to the Lord.

Recently, in one of our lessons at the Bible class I have been attending, I was pleasantly surprised to find another case of praying behind the shut door. Dorcas had died, and all the widows stood by Peter showing him the beautiful things this dear woman had made. Then it says in the next verse (Acts 9:40) that Peter put them all out and knelt down and prayed.

In all three instances, the dead were raised to life.

In these stories, there are some important principles worth remembering.

If sharing your problem with others will diminish your faith, it is better to keep your problem to yourself.

Do what you can to build your faith... Better not invite people into your situation who could surround it with unbelief.

Do not allow anyone to poison the air with unbelief.

I was scheduled to return to Bacolod on Monday, October 1. But after finding out that the Intercessors for the Philippines will be holding a worship celebration on that day to commemorate the Feast of Tabernacles, I felt it would be good for me to be at that celebration.

It will honor God to celebrate the last of the Lord's seven feasts this year with fellow intercessors.

It helps to surround myself with people who are walking the way of faith, worship, and obedience.

Silence unbelief.  

Choose gratitude. 

Embrace contentment.

These thoughts are very much on my heart today. And since there is more than enough time on my hands these days, I appreciate the opportunity to share these thoughts here on my blog as well.

When I was in Rasa, Switzerland for the month-long Live Revision Retreat, our retreat mentor mentioned that in an old translation of the Bible he read, the 1 Kings 19:12 passage was rendered differently.

Almost all the versions of the Bible I have read say that the Lord appeared to Elijah in a great and strong wind, an earthquake, and a fire... but the Lord was not in any of them. But after all these great and mighty manifestation of His power, the Lord came as a "still small voice."

It is also beautifully translated as a "delicate whispering voice."

Hans told us that in this old translation he had read, after the fire came... sheer silence.

That really struck me, and I have never forgotten it.

How true this is. God has spoken to me many times in the silence. 

And I have come to embrace this, my season of silence. God is birthing many new things in my spirit. He's enlarging my territory. He's opening up new horizons before me. He's forging new kingdom connections in my life.  

For that I am truly grateful. Shabbat shalom, my friends.

My Sabbath: Dethroning Unforgiveness

Sunrise this morning

as seen from my bedroom window

The entrance of Your words gives light;

It gives understanding to the simple.

- Psalm 119:130

Peter was therefore kept in prison, 

but constant prayer was offered to God for him by the church.

And when Herod was about to bring him out,

that night Peter was sleeping,

bound with two chains between two soldiers,

and the guards before the door were keeping the prison.

Now behold an angel of the Lord stood by him,

and a light shone in the prison;

and he struck Peter on the side and raised him up, saying,

"Arise quickly!"

And his chains fell off his hands.

Then the angel said to him,

"Gird yourself and tie on your sandals"; and so he did.

And he said to him, "Put on your garment and follow me."

So he went out and followed him...

When they were past the first and the second guard posts,

they came to the iron gate that leads to the city,

which opened to them of its own accord;

and they went down one street,

and immediately the angel departed from him.

- Acts 12: 5-9a, 10

He knows the way that I take;

when He has tested me, 

I shall come forth as gold.

- Job 23:10

God's heart is always to restore, to bring back to life,

to reinstate, rebuild, reestablish,

renovate, and repair.

- Barbara Yoder

Cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, and other similar modern day methods of communication have tremendous advantages but sadly, they have also slowly eroded our ability to read pages of the written word. Instead, we have become re-programmed to seek the fast, easy, instant, and more convenient, means of communicating with one another. This generation has become used to expressing their thoughts in a single word, a one-liner, or even just a click of the thumbs up icon.

I've written this post with the prayer that to anyone who "lands" on this page, it will be a message of encouragement and hope in a world where life is often lived on the fast lane.

As you read what the Father has so beautifully done in my life, may the Spirit quicken His words and make them come alive in your hearts.

photo source

Today was significant because it was the first time ever in my whole life that I observed the Sabbath with full conviction.   At sundown, 6 o'clock p.m. yesterday, Friday, I began to observe this important day of rest. After logging out of the internet, I listened to a beautiful song of worship by Paul Wilbur, Show Me Your Face. 

It was my heart's desire to be truly present before the Lord on this day, to observe this important weekly event with meaning, with purpose, and with spiritual awareness.

God began preparing my heart for it a long time ago. The beginnings of this heart preparation can be traced back to a significant event that took place during the Visayas Prayer Congress held in my home city of Bacolod  in 1996 - sixteen years ago. 

During that congress, God favored me with a supernatural breakthrough in a teaching session given by Vineyard pastor Renchie Arce, during which he talked of Peter's miraculous release from prison with the help of an angel. (Acts 12:5-10)

At that time my heart was still bound up in unforgiveness for what a spiritual leader in our church had done to my husband a few years earlier. I had seen the anguish and the pain that Ernie went through because of it. The false accusations hurled at him were so unjust and unfair.

God knows the whole truth while we, in our limited understanding, see only a small part of it. Inevitably we will either be targets of direct attacks or caught in the crossfire, because we live in enemy territory. Looking back to those days, I now realize that spiritual growth includes learning to let go of hurts and to embrace healing when wounding comes.  Nevertheless, I remember my heart was in so much pain for what had happened... struggling to forgive, because I knew it was the right thing to do, but no matter what I did, I could only do it intellectually, not from my heart.

In this Bible account, an angel had come to set Peter free. I saw myself as Peter, bound in the chains of unforgiveness. Just as an angel came to set Peter free, Pastor Renchie was the angel sent by God... that night, at the conference, my eyes were opened, my chains fell off, and I too, found myself on the road to freedom.

photo source

The year 1996 became a crucial turning point for me. It was in November of that same year that I knew God had given me a prophetic gift. It was also the year when I received His call on me to be an intercessor, not only for this nation, but also for Israel.

I didn't immediately understand the mechanics of how to go about it, much less what was involved in being an intercessor. But I do remember the burning desire on my heart, and I would wake up nights just knowing I had to pray for Israel.

Today, the desire to lift Israel up before heaven's throne continues. It has somehow become a part of my identity; I cannot walk away from it.  There's much food for intercession constantly available. In seeking to understand, my seeking has been rewarded with new understanding, a deeper awareness of what is going on behind the scenes...

This connection with Israel, it all began in 1996. That's how long God has been preparing my heart to bring it to the point today where it will finally embrace the Sabbath as a provision of rest, a gift from my heavenly Father.

When Ernie and I were still living in Chiang Mai, Thailand, I received an email from a friend who lives in Hong Kong. Angelina is also an intercessor for Israel. She doesn't email me regularly, so it came as a pleasant surprise to get an email from her one day in early 2008. She emailed me because she sensed God instructing her to tell me that He wants me to begin observing the Sabbath regularly.

Tell Lidj I want her to observe the Sabbath. These were the words she heard in her spirit.

Such a dear messenger from God. Her email implied that if I obeyed, a pathway of healing and provision would open up for me and my family.

I knew that Angelina had received a genuine message from God. It was February of 2008, and Ernie had just been diagnosed with Bell's palsy, on top of his other health concerns. There were other issues we were facing, issues which for the time being I had chosen to sweep under the rug, mainly because I did not know how to solve them on my own. 

Even then I believed God wanted me to observe the Sabbath His way, not my way. But somehow there was no inner light of understanding that shone in my heart, no compelling desire for me to begin observing the Sabbath.

Some friends of mine had begun observing the weekly Sabbath in their own families. And I have heard their stories of supernatural breakthroughs and blessings.

In fact, I did try a few times to do it with my family... a Sabbath meal after sundown of Friday, as a signal that Sabbath had officially begun in our household.

Eventually I gave up. Schedules rarely coincided. Our lives have been built around a different calendar, with Saturday as the start of a two-day weekend. We have all been used to doing our own thing come Saturday... chores, the marketing, the laundry, or going to the beach. Whatever. If there was anything that didn't get done during the weekday, Saturday would always be the convenient day to do it. Saturday was the catch up, do-as-you-please kind of day.

We've been used to Sunday as our day of rest. It was the day we went to church to worship the Lord.

I am aware of the differing positions regarding Sabbath-keeping. Many believe that the seventh day, what God calls the day of rest, has been moved to Sunday, using several passages in the Bible as reference.

Others refer to a decree issued by a certain king that began the tradition for Christians to begin worshiping on Sunday.

It has been, and remains, a subject of much debate.

I really take no issue with that. People are free to believe what they want to believe.

Again, it was one of those things I shoved under the rug. At that time, it seemed too complicated.

And I am not really in the mood for any debate.  What concerned me was my heart that was out of peace because deep within I knew that all God wanted was my obedience in this matter. So I began to seek Him for a way by which I could really begin observing the Sabbath... His way, not mine.

The first breakthrough came when I decided I did not need my whole family to join me in my observance of Sabbath. All my children were grown up, with their own convictions and schedules to keep. It would have been wonderful if I could release blessings and words of affirmation to each one of them during the Friday evening Sabbath meal, but I realized that I could still do this even if they were not around.

This decision is probably what I have been waiting for all along. It is actually an easy one for me to make because I do not have a fixed schedule to follow. I wonder why it took me so long to arrive at that decision.

The second breakthrough happened when I decided to hold a twenty-one day spiritual journey to the heart of my Father beginning last September 7. During this 21-day journey, my goal was to seek God's heart for guidance and direction before the last quarter of this year began. Being in Manila, I have much unstructured time on my hands, the perfect setting that I needed.

Doing an inductive Bible class with a group of women every Wednesday morning for the past five Wednesdays has also opened my eyes to many new things. It is true, one never encounters the same Bible passage twice. Each encounter with the word of God is a fresh encounter.

Attending the one-day Worship, Warfare, and Intercession Training Module, as well as the Rosh HaShanah worship celebration, has increased my spiritual awareness to what the Father is doing in this season in this nation, in Israel, and around the world.

During the ten Days of Awe that started on the Jewish New Year of Rosh HaShanah, I was reminded that the Sabbath was instituted by God in Genesis when He rested on the seventh day. In Leviticus 23, again, the Sabbath is mentioned by God as the starting point of all His feasts. The Sabbath is the foundation that secures or undergirds the observance of the seven feasts of the Lord.

In the Hebrew calendar, the twenty-four hour day begins at sundown the day before. Therefore, the day of the Sabbath, as instituted by God, officially begins at sundown of Friday and ends at sundown of Saturday. God never changed this. Whatever changes have been made in the past have come by way of man-made traditions.

I believe God is not legalistic about the Sabbath. Jesus Himself said that "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." (Mark 2:27). Surely, if anyone truly desires to observe this holy day, God will help move and rearrange our schedules. He will make it easy for us to obey.

As an eyeopener to me, a few days ago, a Scripture passage in Isaiah 55 was laid on my heart to share with a friend who needed encouragement that morning. As I opened my Bible to read the passage, these lines caught my eye:

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are My ways higher than your ways,

and My thoughts than your thoughts.

- Isaiah 55:8-9

Reading on to the next chapter, these verses gripped my heart:

This is what the LORD says:

"Maintain justice, and do what is right,

for My salvation is close at hand,

and My righteousness will soon be revealed.

Blessed is the man who does this,

the man who holds it fast,

who keeps the Sabbath without desecrating it,

and keeps his hand from doing any evil." 

- Isaiah 56:1, 2

Who keeps the Sabbath without desecrating it.

Those words seemed to jump out from the page I was reading. And somehow, intuitively I knew those words were meant for me.

So I gently asked the Lord, "Father, have I desecrated Your Sabbath?"

I wasn't really expecting an audible reply, and in fact, there was none. But there seemed a tug, a soft whisper in my heart that said something like this: "You know the answer."

It was true. I knew without anybody needing to tell me that I had indeed desecrated... defiled... the Sabbath. Not intentionally, of course. But in at least two ways, I had defiled the Sabbath by not considering it important enough to go out of my way to observe it, and by giving it my own human interpretation.

The voice - which was not really a voice, it must have been just a thought - was not accusing, nor was it angry. I was certain it was the Father speaking to me.

Because this was a season of soul-searching for me, I was very much aware that one of the commandments of the Lord specifically and categorically states that we are to

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy." (Exodus 20:8)

From that verse alone, it was clear I had violated a commandment. Sunday is not the day that the Lord called the Sabbath. Any substitution that has been made through the years was not initiated by God, but by man.

I opened my Bible and wrote down as many passages about the Sabbath as I could.

Two passages spoke directly to me:

Then the Lord said to Moses, "Behold I will rain bread from heaven for you. And the people shall go out and gather a certain quota every day, that I may test them, whether they will walk in My law or not. And it shall be on the sixth day that they shall prepare what they bring in, and it shall be twice s much as they gather daily. - Exodus 16:4,5

If you turn away your foot from the Sabbath,

from doing your own pleasure on My holy day,

and call the Sabbath a delight,

the holy day of the Lord honorable,

and shall honor Him,

not doing your own ways,

nor finding your own pleasure, 

nor speaking your own words,

then you shall delight yourself in the Lord,

and I will cause you to ride on the high hills of the earth,

and feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father.

The mouth of the Lord has spoken. - Isaiah 58:13, 14

In the Exodus 16 passage, it struck me that even in the instruction to gather twice as much manna on Friday morning was a test, whether the Israelites will walk in God's law or not.

And in the Isaiah 58 verses, the word of the Lord makes it clear. If we honor Him on the Sabbath by not spending it to please ourselves, there are sure blessings that God has promised to give.

After meditating on those passages, I reached a turning point in my sacred journey.  I woke up yesterday morning fully determined to observe the Sabbath.

To honor it. To set it apart as holy. Never again to be guilty of desecrating it.

Yesterday, a few minutes after sundown, I ate my Sabbath meal, all by myself.  There was sense of quiet peace and joy in my heart... a sense of knowing I was doing the right thing.

I thanked God for my very first Sabbath. I told Him that I do not want to be guilty of defiling His special day, the day when He rested after creating the world. I asked Him to forgive me, for all the time I considered keeping the Sabbath as an optional thing. I thanked Him for giving me understanding, and now my heart was delighted to obey Him, out of a high regard for Him, my Abba.  It was to honor Him, and give Him the deep respect that He alone deserves.

And I realized God did not really want the Sabbath for Himself. God gave us the Sabbath, for our own sake. That on this day, if we keep it wholeheartedly, we may receive fresh provisions for the long journey ahead, a re-alignment of our focus, a clearing up of our blurred vision... rest for our weary souls... a brand new encouragement and spiritual energy for the next season of our lives. Many wonderful things in store for the one whose heart is open to these things.

I woke up in the middle of the night, fully aware that it was a Sabbath day. Since it was only 1:30 a.m., I prayed the Midnight Watch prayer focus, asking God to unravel insights and revelations to me that will bring me to my rightful place in Him. I prayed the words of Jeremiah 33:3 where I called out to Him, and asked Him to reveal to me mighty things that I do not know. I declared that this was the very time God ordained for me to move forward and upward in my destiny. I prayed the same things for my family, my church, my nation, and Israel.

Soon I was fast asleep again.

I awoke just as the sun was rising in the horizon. Looking out my bedroom window I saw a beautiful sunrise. After eating a simple breakfast, I prepared to spend time with the Lord for the rest of the day.

I read more Bible passages, a chapter from the book by Barbara Yoder I was reading, and wrote down the response of my heart in my devotional journal. I thanked the Father for the beautiful opportunity He had given me to sit at His feet, uninterrupted by human concerns, unhindered by distracting voices. My cell phone was turned off, and so was the internet. It was a meaningful time of feasting at His table, listening to what He had to say, as my favorite worship songs softly played in the background.

During these moments spent alone with God, as I soaked myself in His presence, I sensed a lot of heaviness being lifted off, and I sensed a cleansing in my soul. I was being washed and renewed by the word.

He spoke to me about dethroning the false gods that would want to share the throne of my heart with Him.

These past weeks, the Father has been speaking to me about obedience. Obedience happens at different levels, and daily God gives me a new opportunity to obey Him at another level. Each new revelation demands a response of obedience. And I realize that obedience is not just a mere intellectual assent, true obedience is an action.

Obedience, God repeatedly says to me, will help me see or understand a new facet of God, as well as a new facet of myself. The starting point of obedience is an inner resolve to obey, but that decision culminates in an action, an obedient act.

I know that my observance of Sabbath today is one such obedient act, but it was also the result of another obedient act done sixteen years ago... when with His help, I decided to dethrone the false god of unforgiveness in my heart. 

Tracing back to those years... when I told God I was obeying Him in my will, but that I badly needed His help to make my forgiveness real... God sent an angel to set me free from my prison. God broke through for me.


Obedience really does have far reaching effects. But today I understood that obedience is really a lifestyle of making sure there are no other gods in my life.

Sometimes we are unaware that a twisted interpretation of a Bible truth is a false god we have given space on God's throne. It is comfortable to hold on to a cherished but erroneous belief, not knowing it has become entrenched as an idol.

Obedience is a lifestyle of dethroning idols from my heart.

Praise the Lord for half a notebook filled with fresh revelations from God.

I will continue to worship God on a Sunday, I believe there is really nothing wrong with that. I am just so delighted that I have finally understood what keeping the Sabbath really means, and I will do that as well!

I will never forget the significance of this day, my very first Sabbath.

I thank You Lord for enabling me to observe this day of rest. Today, Lord I have chosen to honor and obey You, and true to Your word, You have refreshed and satisfied my soul. You have truly filled my heart with joy today. I give You all the glory and all honor. Amen. (6:01 p.m.)

A Resting Place
by Paul Wilbur

My soul finds rest in God alone
My peace depends on Him
And in that place of quiet rest
He fills me from within
He pours on me His holy oil
Spirit of Adonai
Then He takes me by His hand
Comforts me with His love
Comforts me with His love

Those who wait upon the Lord
New strength He gives to them
He gives them wings like the eagle
That they might soar with Him
He weaves His strength into our lives
Spirit of Adonai
Then He gives us  all of His peace
To guard our hearts and our minds
Abba guarding our hearts and our minds

Come my soul, take your rest
And find your place in Him
The holy presence of the Lord
Will fill you from within
Oh pour on me Your holy oil
Spirit of Adonai
Fill my cup, I lift it up
Until I overflow
Oh pour on me Your holy oil
Spirit of the Living God
Fill my cup, I lift it up
Until I overflow

Sabbath: The Wedding Ring of Remembrance