My Sabbath: Dethroning Unforgiveness

Sunrise this morning

as seen from my bedroom window

The entrance of Your words gives light;

It gives understanding to the simple.

- Psalm 119:130

Peter was therefore kept in prison, 

but constant prayer was offered to God for him by the church.

And when Herod was about to bring him out,

that night Peter was sleeping,

bound with two chains between two soldiers,

and the guards before the door were keeping the prison.

Now behold an angel of the Lord stood by him,

and a light shone in the prison;

and he struck Peter on the side and raised him up, saying,

"Arise quickly!"

And his chains fell off his hands.

Then the angel said to him,

"Gird yourself and tie on your sandals"; and so he did.

And he said to him, "Put on your garment and follow me."

So he went out and followed him...

When they were past the first and the second guard posts,

they came to the iron gate that leads to the city,

which opened to them of its own accord;

and they went down one street,

and immediately the angel departed from him.

- Acts 12: 5-9a, 10

He knows the way that I take;

when He has tested me, 

I shall come forth as gold.

- Job 23:10

God's heart is always to restore, to bring back to life,

to reinstate, rebuild, reestablish,

renovate, and repair.

- Barbara Yoder

Cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, and other similar modern day methods of communication have tremendous advantages but sadly, they have also slowly eroded our ability to read pages of the written word. Instead, we have become re-programmed to seek the fast, easy, instant, and more convenient, means of communicating with one another. This generation has become used to expressing their thoughts in a single word, a one-liner, or even just a click of the thumbs up icon.

I've written this post with the prayer that to anyone who "lands" on this page, it will be a message of encouragement and hope in a world where life is often lived on the fast lane.

As you read what the Father has so beautifully done in my life, may the Spirit quicken His words and make them come alive in your hearts.

photo source

Today was significant because it was the first time ever in my whole life that I observed the Sabbath with full conviction.   At sundown, 6 o'clock p.m. yesterday, Friday, I began to observe this important day of rest. After logging out of the internet, I listened to a beautiful song of worship by Paul Wilbur, Show Me Your Face. 

It was my heart's desire to be truly present before the Lord on this day, to observe this important weekly event with meaning, with purpose, and with spiritual awareness.

God began preparing my heart for it a long time ago. The beginnings of this heart preparation can be traced back to a significant event that took place during the Visayas Prayer Congress held in my home city of Bacolod  in 1996 - sixteen years ago. 

During that congress, God favored me with a supernatural breakthrough in a teaching session given by Vineyard pastor Renchie Arce, during which he talked of Peter's miraculous release from prison with the help of an angel. (Acts 12:5-10)

At that time my heart was still bound up in unforgiveness for what a spiritual leader in our church had done to my husband a few years earlier. I had seen the anguish and the pain that Ernie went through because of it. The false accusations hurled at him were so unjust and unfair.

God knows the whole truth while we, in our limited understanding, see only a small part of it. Inevitably we will either be targets of direct attacks or caught in the crossfire, because we live in enemy territory. Looking back to those days, I now realize that spiritual growth includes learning to let go of hurts and to embrace healing when wounding comes.  Nevertheless, I remember my heart was in so much pain for what had happened... struggling to forgive, because I knew it was the right thing to do, but no matter what I did, I could only do it intellectually, not from my heart.

In this Bible account, an angel had come to set Peter free. I saw myself as Peter, bound in the chains of unforgiveness. Just as an angel came to set Peter free, Pastor Renchie was the angel sent by God... that night, at the conference, my eyes were opened, my chains fell off, and I too, found myself on the road to freedom.

photo source

The year 1996 became a crucial turning point for me. It was in November of that same year that I knew God had given me a prophetic gift. It was also the year when I received His call on me to be an intercessor, not only for this nation, but also for Israel.

I didn't immediately understand the mechanics of how to go about it, much less what was involved in being an intercessor. But I do remember the burning desire on my heart, and I would wake up nights just knowing I had to pray for Israel.

Today, the desire to lift Israel up before heaven's throne continues. It has somehow become a part of my identity; I cannot walk away from it.  There's much food for intercession constantly available. In seeking to understand, my seeking has been rewarded with new understanding, a deeper awareness of what is going on behind the scenes...

This connection with Israel, it all began in 1996. That's how long God has been preparing my heart to bring it to the point today where it will finally embrace the Sabbath as a provision of rest, a gift from my heavenly Father.

When Ernie and I were still living in Chiang Mai, Thailand, I received an email from a friend who lives in Hong Kong. Angelina is also an intercessor for Israel. She doesn't email me regularly, so it came as a pleasant surprise to get an email from her one day in early 2008. She emailed me because she sensed God instructing her to tell me that He wants me to begin observing the Sabbath regularly.

Tell Lidj I want her to observe the Sabbath. These were the words she heard in her spirit.

Such a dear messenger from God. Her email implied that if I obeyed, a pathway of healing and provision would open up for me and my family.

I knew that Angelina had received a genuine message from God. It was February of 2008, and Ernie had just been diagnosed with Bell's palsy, on top of his other health concerns. There were other issues we were facing, issues which for the time being I had chosen to sweep under the rug, mainly because I did not know how to solve them on my own. 

Even then I believed God wanted me to observe the Sabbath His way, not my way. But somehow there was no inner light of understanding that shone in my heart, no compelling desire for me to begin observing the Sabbath.

Some friends of mine had begun observing the weekly Sabbath in their own families. And I have heard their stories of supernatural breakthroughs and blessings.

In fact, I did try a few times to do it with my family... a Sabbath meal after sundown of Friday, as a signal that Sabbath had officially begun in our household.

Eventually I gave up. Schedules rarely coincided. Our lives have been built around a different calendar, with Saturday as the start of a two-day weekend. We have all been used to doing our own thing come Saturday... chores, the marketing, the laundry, or going to the beach. Whatever. If there was anything that didn't get done during the weekday, Saturday would always be the convenient day to do it. Saturday was the catch up, do-as-you-please kind of day.

We've been used to Sunday as our day of rest. It was the day we went to church to worship the Lord.

I am aware of the differing positions regarding Sabbath-keeping. Many believe that the seventh day, what God calls the day of rest, has been moved to Sunday, using several passages in the Bible as reference.

Others refer to a decree issued by a certain king that began the tradition for Christians to begin worshiping on Sunday.

It has been, and remains, a subject of much debate.

I really take no issue with that. People are free to believe what they want to believe.

Again, it was one of those things I shoved under the rug. At that time, it seemed too complicated.

And I am not really in the mood for any debate.  What concerned me was my heart that was out of peace because deep within I knew that all God wanted was my obedience in this matter. So I began to seek Him for a way by which I could really begin observing the Sabbath... His way, not mine.

The first breakthrough came when I decided I did not need my whole family to join me in my observance of Sabbath. All my children were grown up, with their own convictions and schedules to keep. It would have been wonderful if I could release blessings and words of affirmation to each one of them during the Friday evening Sabbath meal, but I realized that I could still do this even if they were not around.

This decision is probably what I have been waiting for all along. It is actually an easy one for me to make because I do not have a fixed schedule to follow. I wonder why it took me so long to arrive at that decision.

The second breakthrough happened when I decided to hold a twenty-one day spiritual journey to the heart of my Father beginning last September 7. During this 21-day journey, my goal was to seek God's heart for guidance and direction before the last quarter of this year began. Being in Manila, I have much unstructured time on my hands, the perfect setting that I needed.

Doing an inductive Bible class with a group of women every Wednesday morning for the past five Wednesdays has also opened my eyes to many new things. It is true, one never encounters the same Bible passage twice. Each encounter with the word of God is a fresh encounter.

Attending the one-day Worship, Warfare, and Intercession Training Module, as well as the Rosh HaShanah worship celebration, has increased my spiritual awareness to what the Father is doing in this season in this nation, in Israel, and around the world.

During the ten Days of Awe that started on the Jewish New Year of Rosh HaShanah, I was reminded that the Sabbath was instituted by God in Genesis when He rested on the seventh day. In Leviticus 23, again, the Sabbath is mentioned by God as the starting point of all His feasts. The Sabbath is the foundation that secures or undergirds the observance of the seven feasts of the Lord.

In the Hebrew calendar, the twenty-four hour day begins at sundown the day before. Therefore, the day of the Sabbath, as instituted by God, officially begins at sundown of Friday and ends at sundown of Saturday. God never changed this. Whatever changes have been made in the past have come by way of man-made traditions.

I believe God is not legalistic about the Sabbath. Jesus Himself said that "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." (Mark 2:27). Surely, if anyone truly desires to observe this holy day, God will help move and rearrange our schedules. He will make it easy for us to obey.

As an eyeopener to me, a few days ago, a Scripture passage in Isaiah 55 was laid on my heart to share with a friend who needed encouragement that morning. As I opened my Bible to read the passage, these lines caught my eye:

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are My ways higher than your ways,

and My thoughts than your thoughts.

- Isaiah 55:8-9

Reading on to the next chapter, these verses gripped my heart:

This is what the LORD says:

"Maintain justice, and do what is right,

for My salvation is close at hand,

and My righteousness will soon be revealed.

Blessed is the man who does this,

the man who holds it fast,

who keeps the Sabbath without desecrating it,

and keeps his hand from doing any evil." 

- Isaiah 56:1, 2

Who keeps the Sabbath without desecrating it.

Those words seemed to jump out from the page I was reading. And somehow, intuitively I knew those words were meant for me.

So I gently asked the Lord, "Father, have I desecrated Your Sabbath?"

I wasn't really expecting an audible reply, and in fact, there was none. But there seemed a tug, a soft whisper in my heart that said something like this: "You know the answer."

It was true. I knew without anybody needing to tell me that I had indeed desecrated... defiled... the Sabbath. Not intentionally, of course. But in at least two ways, I had defiled the Sabbath by not considering it important enough to go out of my way to observe it, and by giving it my own human interpretation.

The voice - which was not really a voice, it must have been just a thought - was not accusing, nor was it angry. I was certain it was the Father speaking to me.

Because this was a season of soul-searching for me, I was very much aware that one of the commandments of the Lord specifically and categorically states that we are to

"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy." (Exodus 20:8)

From that verse alone, it was clear I had violated a commandment. Sunday is not the day that the Lord called the Sabbath. Any substitution that has been made through the years was not initiated by God, but by man.

I opened my Bible and wrote down as many passages about the Sabbath as I could.

Two passages spoke directly to me:

Then the Lord said to Moses, "Behold I will rain bread from heaven for you. And the people shall go out and gather a certain quota every day, that I may test them, whether they will walk in My law or not. And it shall be on the sixth day that they shall prepare what they bring in, and it shall be twice s much as they gather daily. - Exodus 16:4,5

If you turn away your foot from the Sabbath,

from doing your own pleasure on My holy day,

and call the Sabbath a delight,

the holy day of the Lord honorable,

and shall honor Him,

not doing your own ways,

nor finding your own pleasure, 

nor speaking your own words,

then you shall delight yourself in the Lord,

and I will cause you to ride on the high hills of the earth,

and feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father.

The mouth of the Lord has spoken. - Isaiah 58:13, 14

In the Exodus 16 passage, it struck me that even in the instruction to gather twice as much manna on Friday morning was a test, whether the Israelites will walk in God's law or not.

And in the Isaiah 58 verses, the word of the Lord makes it clear. If we honor Him on the Sabbath by not spending it to please ourselves, there are sure blessings that God has promised to give.

After meditating on those passages, I reached a turning point in my sacred journey.  I woke up yesterday morning fully determined to observe the Sabbath.

To honor it. To set it apart as holy. Never again to be guilty of desecrating it.

Yesterday, a few minutes after sundown, I ate my Sabbath meal, all by myself.  There was sense of quiet peace and joy in my heart... a sense of knowing I was doing the right thing.

I thanked God for my very first Sabbath. I told Him that I do not want to be guilty of defiling His special day, the day when He rested after creating the world. I asked Him to forgive me, for all the time I considered keeping the Sabbath as an optional thing. I thanked Him for giving me understanding, and now my heart was delighted to obey Him, out of a high regard for Him, my Abba.  It was to honor Him, and give Him the deep respect that He alone deserves.

And I realized God did not really want the Sabbath for Himself. God gave us the Sabbath, for our own sake. That on this day, if we keep it wholeheartedly, we may receive fresh provisions for the long journey ahead, a re-alignment of our focus, a clearing up of our blurred vision... rest for our weary souls... a brand new encouragement and spiritual energy for the next season of our lives. Many wonderful things in store for the one whose heart is open to these things.

I woke up in the middle of the night, fully aware that it was a Sabbath day. Since it was only 1:30 a.m., I prayed the Midnight Watch prayer focus, asking God to unravel insights and revelations to me that will bring me to my rightful place in Him. I prayed the words of Jeremiah 33:3 where I called out to Him, and asked Him to reveal to me mighty things that I do not know. I declared that this was the very time God ordained for me to move forward and upward in my destiny. I prayed the same things for my family, my church, my nation, and Israel.

Soon I was fast asleep again.

I awoke just as the sun was rising in the horizon. Looking out my bedroom window I saw a beautiful sunrise. After eating a simple breakfast, I prepared to spend time with the Lord for the rest of the day.

I read more Bible passages, a chapter from the book by Barbara Yoder I was reading, and wrote down the response of my heart in my devotional journal. I thanked the Father for the beautiful opportunity He had given me to sit at His feet, uninterrupted by human concerns, unhindered by distracting voices. My cell phone was turned off, and so was the internet. It was a meaningful time of feasting at His table, listening to what He had to say, as my favorite worship songs softly played in the background.

During these moments spent alone with God, as I soaked myself in His presence, I sensed a lot of heaviness being lifted off, and I sensed a cleansing in my soul. I was being washed and renewed by the word.

He spoke to me about dethroning the false gods that would want to share the throne of my heart with Him.

These past weeks, the Father has been speaking to me about obedience. Obedience happens at different levels, and daily God gives me a new opportunity to obey Him at another level. Each new revelation demands a response of obedience. And I realize that obedience is not just a mere intellectual assent, true obedience is an action.

Obedience, God repeatedly says to me, will help me see or understand a new facet of God, as well as a new facet of myself. The starting point of obedience is an inner resolve to obey, but that decision culminates in an action, an obedient act.

I know that my observance of Sabbath today is one such obedient act, but it was also the result of another obedient act done sixteen years ago... when with His help, I decided to dethrone the false god of unforgiveness in my heart. 

Tracing back to those years... when I told God I was obeying Him in my will, but that I badly needed His help to make my forgiveness real... God sent an angel to set me free from my prison. God broke through for me.


Obedience really does have far reaching effects. But today I understood that obedience is really a lifestyle of making sure there are no other gods in my life.

Sometimes we are unaware that a twisted interpretation of a Bible truth is a false god we have given space on God's throne. It is comfortable to hold on to a cherished but erroneous belief, not knowing it has become entrenched as an idol.

Obedience is a lifestyle of dethroning idols from my heart.

Praise the Lord for half a notebook filled with fresh revelations from God.

I will continue to worship God on a Sunday, I believe there is really nothing wrong with that. I am just so delighted that I have finally understood what keeping the Sabbath really means, and I will do that as well!

I will never forget the significance of this day, my very first Sabbath.

I thank You Lord for enabling me to observe this day of rest. Today, Lord I have chosen to honor and obey You, and true to Your word, You have refreshed and satisfied my soul. You have truly filled my heart with joy today. I give You all the glory and all honor. Amen. (6:01 p.m.)

A Resting Place
by Paul Wilbur

My soul finds rest in God alone
My peace depends on Him
And in that place of quiet rest
He fills me from within
He pours on me His holy oil
Spirit of Adonai
Then He takes me by His hand
Comforts me with His love
Comforts me with His love

Those who wait upon the Lord
New strength He gives to them
He gives them wings like the eagle
That they might soar with Him
He weaves His strength into our lives
Spirit of Adonai
Then He gives us  all of His peace
To guard our hearts and our minds
Abba guarding our hearts and our minds

Come my soul, take your rest
And find your place in Him
The holy presence of the Lord
Will fill you from within
Oh pour on me Your holy oil
Spirit of Adonai
Fill my cup, I lift it up
Until I overflow
Oh pour on me Your holy oil
Spirit of the Living God
Fill my cup, I lift it up
Until I overflow

Sabbath: The Wedding Ring of Remembrance