Grace Walk
Walk with Me and work with Me--watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won't try to lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

-Matthew 11:29-30 The Message


Hidden Treasures
One of the most satisfying aspects of writing
is that it can open in us deep wells of hidden treasures
that are beautiful for us as well as for others to see.

-Henri Nouwen in Bread for the Journey

A Modern Day Psaltery
David wrote psalms to express
what was in his heart.
Seeing no need to hide what he felt,
he wrote with sincerity, and with no hidden agenda.
What he felt was never taken against him.
Pray, dear reader, discern my heart between the lines.
Dinah Maria Craik couldn't have said it better:
"Oh the comfort -- the inexpressible comfort
of feeling safe with a person --
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out, just as they are,
chaff and grain together;
certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping,
and then, with the breath of kindness
blow the rest away."

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Principle of Separation: My Epiphany

So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me...

photo source




So Abram said to Lot, "Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I will go to the left."

Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere--this was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah--like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar. So Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated from each other. Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom. Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the Lord.

The Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, "Now lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward; for all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your descendants forever. I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered. Arise, walk about the land through its length and breadth; for I will give it to you."

Then Abram moved his tent and came and dwelt by the oaks of Mamre, which are in Hebron, and there he built an altar to the Lord.

- Genesis 13:1-18







Today we observe the Christian feast called Epiphany.

This feast also marks the official end of the Christmas season. As quickly as the season has come, it has gone. Without fanfare... and without much ado.

When I was little, Epiphany, also called The Feast of the Three Kings, was such an important event. My sister and I would put out our shoes by the window on the eve of this feast, and wake up the following morning to find them filled with goodies - candies, chocolates, and little toys. It was nothing big or grand, not like a Christmas gift, which usually came in a box and was wrapped beautifully... but the goodies we received at Epiphany were also just as delightful as a Christmas gift, probably because of the story behind it.

While we were sleeping, the Three Kings supposedly passed by, and placed little gifts inside every shoe that they saw.

The shoes had a special meaning, too. The story in the Bible tells us that these men had traveled quite a distance looking for Jesus, to honor Him, and give Him their gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. They were not really kings, they were wise, learned, and influential men, from the East.

This feast is no longer observed today. Children here do not even know the story.

January 6 today has become just another day with no special significance.

It is another Christian tradition around here that has lost its relevance.


The word epiphany literally means "manifestation." This Christian feast commemorates the manifestation of the divine nature of Jesus to the Gentiles as represented by the wise men. These men from the East had studied the movement of the stars, and knew that at a certain period in history, a baby would be born, and this would be no ordinary baby. Somehow it was revealed to them that this baby is of royal and noble birth.

A star would appear in the heavens, and this would be the sign that the birth has taken place.



Journey of the Magi
by James Jacques Joseph Tissot

photo source


The men did follow that star, and this is how they came to the place where Jesus was, and was able to open their treasures and present them to him.

This is so beautiful! Everything about this story makes sense to me. Many things that God has been speaking to me these past months falls into place, like pieces of a puzzle being put together, and I am beginning to see a bigger picture.

The Yahoo Dictionary also defines epiphany as:
  1. A sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something.
  2. A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization

Over the years I have become aware that there are relationships that God has not ordained. But this was made much clearer to me two or three years ago when I looked into the story of Abraham's separation from Lot and began meditating on it.

It was only after Abraham made the decision to separate from his nephew Lot that God showed him the full expanse of the land that had been given him.

It was a decision of faith and obedience.

A few months ago, God impressed in my heart that this year is a Year of Promotion for me. I do understand what this means.

There are new doors that are opening, and I have to be ready to walk into them.

At the same time, there are doors that will be closing, and I must be ready to walk out and move on.

There are new alignments, new kingdom connections, a new path that must be trod, and the road ahead will not always be easy. There will be new assignments. Fresh revelations.

A fresh anointing for the new assignment.

These are not just beautiful words to read... the implications are quite serious.

God is always preparing us for His promotions, but He is also waiting for the right time to reveal them... to manifest them to us.

Having realized these as the new year is now unfolding for me, I shudder... and I tremble.

I do want to be ready and prepared for this promotion.

But honestly, I feel so small and inadequate.

A deeper faith... a radical obedience.

A clean cut...

My feelings of trepidation come from the fact that I have not been consistent in my walk with God the past months.

I just know I have not been obedient enough.

There have been many distractions, I have been busy and pre-occupied.

Somewhere, in the busyness of the past months, my focus has shifted.

He would awaken me in the early mornings, but _________.


That blank represents all the things that have been hindering full and complete obedience.

But these days I really praise God for not getting tired of revealing His heart to me...

There is a call to separate the old from the new, just as Abraham was willing to part ways with Lot, and walk away from him in peace... in graciousness... in humility.

I want this realization to be a turning point in my life.

There may be friends and even loved ones that I need to move away from, even if the decision to do so may be painful. However, I believe the call is not just about friends. There is a call to separation from habits and mindsets so that God's purposes may be fulfilled.

I can only build one kingdom - God's or mine. It can't be both.

The sad truth is that people are prone to build the kingdom of self, no matter what.

It is what one blog author calls our default setting. It is our natural pre-disposition to be so motivated by self.

There comes a point when a decision to make a clean break is very important. I never realized that the idiom a clean break was originally a cheese making term.

Applied to my life, it means to remove myself completely from a "bad" situation.


This is my epiphany, my realization.

Now I hear the fresh call, and my heart wants to obey ... and to be prepared.

God sees the road ahead, and He is giving out the assignment. Again there is a sifting, and a shifting, and a calling out.

The recent lessons God has been teaching me have all revolved around this one thing: there is no turning back, there is a narrow road ahead. There is a need to deal with the sin that easily entangles - pride, the sin of self-focus.

I do not see beyond the bend in the road, but He does.

There is a call to depend on Him alone - not on chariots or horses or even on strategic planning, although these all have an important place.

The issue boils down to radical obedience.

And in the final analysis, obedience is always radical.

Again, there is no other way.


To hammer down these truths that God has been speaking to me, I received some lessons through my favorite yellowbell vine that has grown into a lovely canopy above my front gate.

On Christmas Eve, December 24, strong gusty winds swept through our city pulling down all the branches of my lovely yellowbell vine. It had been such a showcase the past months - abloom with yellow bells, extending above the front gate of our home, it was like a canopy providing a beautiful shade above our front entrance.

But alas, on Christmas morning, armed with a small saw, I had to cut it all down... resulting in a barren, naked, exposed, and forlorn front entrance.

What used to be a beautiful, graceful picture of abundant life, turned into an ugly image of gnarled and twisted branches with no sign of life at all.


Look at these pictures:








A few hours into the New Year, at about 2:00 a.m., there was a heavy downpour. The first one in weeks. The downpour lasted about two hours, and then toward the early morning, it turned into a gentle drizzle which lasted the whole day.

That was such a beautiful message to my heart. God spoke to my heart through the rains that came to our city right on New Year's day.

I took this picture of my garden at around 9:00 a.m. on New Year's Day. The gentle drizzle can't be seen, but you can see the wet stone path, and the evidence of joy and newness of life!




Look at this picture of my yellow bell plant also taken on New Year's Day. A green shoot had grown right where a branch had been sawed off, just a week before...



God is saying to me: The pain of separation will be rewarded with fresh growth and new life!


I arrived in Manila early this morning after having been in Bacolod City for the months of November and December.

Tomorrow, my daughter Obedient One and I will board our flight to Chiang Mai, Thailand. By tomorrow evening we will be re-united with my friends Ut and Oy, who have so graciously extended another invitation for us to visit them.

I know this trip is a transition point, and I am looking forward to what lies ahead. My heart is truly grateful for the beautiful opportunity He has given me to once again visit this beautiful place. A place filled with beautiful memories for me. And another time to reconnect with dear friends.

In everything I do and say, as the new year slowly unfolds before me, may God alone be honored.


Father, I offer this year to you.

Thank you for speaking to me. I hear your voice Lord... it is calling me to go up higher.


Build in me a heart of faith, a heart of obedience. May my heart be your dwelling place, which is always responding to your call.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Redeemer, Refuge, Strong Tower


A Strong Tower
by C. Dolan

photo source




The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
The righteous run to it and are safe.

- Proverbs 18:10




For I know that my Redeemer lives,
And He shall stand at last on the earth...

- J0b 19:25




Those who trust in the LORD
are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
So the LORD surrounds His people
From this time forth and forever.

- Psalm 125:1-2





Good-bye 2010!

It was only twelve months ago that we welcomed this year 2010 ... and now it's time for her to go.

I always feel a bit of nostalgia each time the year comes to a close.

This year has really been a good one...

It is but fitting to say a word of gratitude to God during the last remaining hours of the old year.

As 2010 ends, these words of Scripture (Psalm 91) resonate in my heart:

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, “
He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.

You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,

Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”


I have held on to the words of this famous Psalm these past years. Through these words, God assures me of His presence, provision and protection; however, it means that I have first made the choice to make Him my dwelling place.


To make God my dwelling place was a choice I made in the early 1970s. I was just a university freshman then ... and God became so real to me... and I knew I'd be a fool not to turn the reins of my life over to the One who created me. This will always be the best thing that's ever happened to me.

God has never left my side through all the seasons of my life. I have come to know Him as Friend... Father... Protector... Provider.

He is Faithful, He is True. He is my Mighty Deliverer.

There are many facets to Him that I still have to discover. As I have often mentioned on this blog, it will take forever to know God.

He is unfathomable! I look forward to a life of endless discovery... and with each new discovery, I know my love... my admiration... my adoration... and my worship of my God will deepen and grow.

There are people who know God only at an intellectual level... but it has been my privilege to know Him as a real person, not just as a picture or a word in a book.

My God has been there for me and my family in the past...

He has been there for me in the days, weeks, and months of 2010.

Yes, my God will be there for me in 2011!

One of my deepest joys in life has been to be with people who also seek to know God in an intimate way... with them I share the same hunger, the same longing to know Him more...

To those who know God this way, He has proven His faithfulness, year after year.

There is a thirst for more of Him... a willingness to give all just to know Him in His fullness...

Such desire leads to a journey that never ends... for the journey to God's heart is one that leads to eternity. It will take forever to know God.

How refreshing it is to be with such people! One feels a sense of freedom, and reckless abandon... a deep joy that cannot be contained.

They live with a sense of not taking things too seriously... of not always having to be neat... or correct... or perfect...

of being able to laugh at one another's mistakes.

Because he or she knows God loves, God accepts. There is room to fail, and to pick up the broken pieces, and to try again.


The words that a person speaks or writes reveal if that person knows God in an intimate way...

Francis Frangipane, one of my favorite authors, writes:

It is not hard to recognize one who has spent extended time at a newsstand: his conversation overflows with the drama of current affairs.... Likewise, people can tell when an individual has spent extended time seeking God. An imperturbable calm guards their heart, and their countenance is radiant with light, as with the morning dew of Heaven.

One can surely tell if that person has spent many long hours with the Father, the Lord Jesus, the Holy Spirit ... in the valleys, in the mountains, in the fire, in the flood...

Spending long hours with the Father, gazing often into His eyes, walking with Jesus in the garden of prayer... it is but inevitable that the character of the Father somehow transfers to you.

One can tell.

There is a certain meekness, gentleness... a certain sense of abandon... a relinquished life.

It is but inevitable...you become like the person or thing that you often behold or think about.


And as the year 2010 is about to end, how reassuring it is to embrace this one fact:

the Father also knows those who are truly His.

And when the hour comes, when the need arises, my God is standing near... His saving hand is ready. He will reach out.

He will not withhold His provision...His protection...His guidance...His care.

Of that I am certain.

I know that my Redeemer lives.

He is a very present help in time of trouble.

I have no doubt. My faith is absolute.


How the enemy wants us to cling to a false religion of self-reliance... wherein one is constantly driven to make sure that his resources are enough provision for the rainy day.


Yes, we are called to be wise and responsible stewards. This is an important part of being an intentional disciple.

But how easily it can become a false religion of works and self-help...

And really, after having taken all measures to be prepared, there is still no fool-proof guarantee.


Job comes to mind.

He was one person who was surely prepared... yet in one sweep, lost it all.

Job learned first hand the vanity, the futility, of trusting in chariots, or in riches.

And it was Job who wrote the famous lines of Job 19:25

For I know that my Redeemer lives,
And He shall stand at last on the earth...


I think I know what Job means ....

Having experienced some of what Job went through...I do believe his words, without the shadow of a doubt...

God has been my Redeemer. He IS my Redeemer.

He is the only One who can help redeem me from my unwise choices.

He redeems my life from the pit.

He is the One who has rescued me time and again.

Led me out of the traps I have fallen into.

Poured healing balm over my wounds, and nursed them.

He is my Redeemer. The One who gave His own life as ransom payment for my eternal salvation.


For now Redeemer is the word that is foremost on my mind as this year ends.

I cannot thank Him enough! He has all angles covered - He sees even my blind spots... and the areas of deception where the enemy has tried to blindside me.

He is Jehovah El Roi - the God who sees.

In big or small ways, we have all tried to prepare for our future, ... but without a full trust in God, it can be such a heavy load. Sooner or later, fear and anxiety will creep in, and weigh us down...

because one can only do so much...

because in this world, moth and rust consume, thieves break in and steal... markets fluctuate... economies overheat and collapse.

Overnight, a doctor's diagnosis can change the course of someone's life...

And if I have placed my trust in chariots and riches, in my own abilities... then what hope or security is there for me - for the unforeseen, and for the inevitable?

How much planning and preparation will suffice, so that I can sleep each night in peace and total abandonment, never worrying about my future, or about the roof over my head?

I am called to walk in faith... not blind or passive faith, but active faith. When I have done my part to be a responsible steward of what God has entrusted to me, I must also admit that in spite of my best efforts, there is still so much unknown territory ahead of me that is beyond my control.

My God is calling us to look to the heavens... so that we are able to flow through life... graciously, with adaptability and flexibility...

with a sense of deep enjoyment...

with a willingness to be generous without keeping a list...

without weighing others down with a sense of indebtedness...

living life with a sense of reckless abandon... not being reckless in a bad, irresponsible way... but loosening our tight grip on the things of this earth...

motivated by the belief that God is willing... and He is able.


Because I believe that if there is room for mistakes... and failures... there is also room for God.

He will see me through.

I praise God my Father, He is my strong tower. The righteous run to Him and they are safe.

Ultimately, no amount of human preparation will ever be enough...because there really is no substitute for a deep and abiding trust in God.

Only a deep and abiding trust in God will sustain us over the long haul.


As I write these lines, I am listening to Jessie Rogers on my iPod. Her CD Out of the Fire is one that has ministered to me time and time again. I already know most of her songs by heart...

This past hour, I have been listening to only one song, My Refuge. This is definitely my song for 2010.

I have written the words of this song as part of my last journal entry for 2010, dated December 31.



My Refuge
by Jessie Rogers

My right arm
My safe place is in Your heart
You are my dwelling place
You are my safekeeping

My refuge, my refuge
My refuge is in You
My refuge, my refuge
My refuge in in You

My strong shield
My salvation from the storm
You are my hiding place
You are my shelter from the rain

My refuge, my refuge
My refuge is in You
My refuge, my refuge
My refuge is in You

Jesus I depend on You
Jesus I depend on You
Jesus I depend on You
Jesus I depend on You...


My Prayer:

Father,

As the year ends, these are the words that resonate in my heart...

For the things that I have not prepared for...

For the things that I have overlooked...

For the things that I have not foreseen...

For the reversals in my life that I have no control over...

I run to You, my Father...

for sakekeeping...

for provision...

for redemption...

Thank You, dear Father. Thank you.

Jesus, I depend on You.

You are my Strong Tower, in You I am safe.

Thank you for teaching me this truth in 2010.

I will continue to depend on You alone in 2011.

Monday, December 27, 2010

The Dignity of Humility

Christmas lanterns
(Christmas in the Philippines)

photo source




...learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.

For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

- Matthew 11:29-30




He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?

- Micah 6:8




Pride is concerned with who is right.
Humility is concerned with what is right.

- Ezra Taft Benson





A few days before Christmas, Madorra, Chosen One's mom, and my daughter Obedient One arrived from Manila to spend Christmas and New Year with us.

Christmas is that time of the year when family members get together to celebrate this very special season.

This is a season of celebration, and tradition plays a very important role because it helps us remember past Christmases when we were little children and the spirit of Christmas captivated our hearts, filling it with wonder and delight.

For me, this is what I am looking for in Christmas - that sense of wonder and delight that filled my heart as a child...

I recall my mom and dad coming home with a real pine tree, and we would decorate it with the ornaments that have been carefully stored in boxes, the same tinsel and colored balls and lights, the special toys that would be placed under the tree...

then there would be all the food being prepared,

and the gifts being wrapped and then, given away.

A memorable part of all this celebration would always be the special dresses that Papa and Mama would buy for my sister and me, to be worn the first time on Christmas Eve when we went to church for the Christmas Eve mass.

Everything was so solemn, yet there was so much joy and gladness in the air...my young heart could hardly contain the sense of excitement.

After that we would come home to eat what we called the Noche Buena, the Christmas Eve meal. The table would be laden with good food to eat, and it was almost always a family reunion of sorts - with aunts, and uncles, cousins, grandmother and grandfather.

Christmas was always a season to look forward to. The traditions we observed gave me a sense of security and comfort. Because of Christmas, I knew that somehow, no matter what, life was going to turn out fine.

From this little child's point of view, Christmas had a magical quality to it.

But things change over time.

For one thing, I eventually grew up... and childhood became a thing of the past.

I began looking at Christmas from a different perspective...no longer from the lens of a child's eyes, but from my experiences as an adult.



In 1978 I got married and the following year I moved with my new husband to his hometown, Bacolod City. We began celebrating Christmas Eve with his family.

I tried to hold on to what I could of my past Christmases, and incorporated them to the way Ernie and I celebrated this special event.

My Christmases acquired a different meaning because I realized that by combining a bit of the old and the new, Ernie and I were creating new memories, both for ourselves, and for our children.

But seasons come, and seasons go.

We all long for hope, wonder, and delight... but the spirit of true Christmas can only be experienced in the heart; our external circumstances, our beautiful memories, or the sacred traditions that we hold dear...these could never be the source of Christmas joy and cheer.

In the last 32 years of my life I have been through different kinds of Christmas seasons....

in 1982 my mother suffered a stroke, and despite the joy I felt at the birth of my second son, Christmas that year filled my heart with pain.....

in the early 1990s Ernie and I were facing a financial crisis, and Christmas didn't bring me any hope or joy... only a sense of dread and darkness...

in 1994 we were enduring a relational crisis, estranged from our own church family because of false accusations, and deprived of a sense of belonging...Christmas felt bitter and meaningless...

in the early 2000s, I knew God was calling me out of my comfort zone, and as 2003 was ending, I was aware of a major sifting and shifting coming into my life... it seemed like the rug was being pulled under my feet... I had many questions, but no specific answers... and during that particular Christmas season, I felt betrayed and unappreciated...

then in 2008, only two years ago, my husband passed away... I only went through the motions of celebrating Christmas, because deep inside was a deep sense of loss, and my heart felt no emotion, everything seemed like a cold and barren wasteland...


And now comes, Christmas 2010... my 57th Christmas...

This one is so different, compared to all the other Christmases I've known.

It is the first Christmas that I have a second daughter in law, and a second grandson, in my life.

This has brought many changes into my life... and these are days when I am very much involved in domestic chores again. Because Worshiper and Chosen One live with me, I understand that any help I can extend to them is well appreciated as they adjust to life with a new baby.

And before I knew it, the week of Christmas was upon us. The tree had not yet been put up, my gifts were still waiting to be wrapped, and my Christmas menu had not yet been planned.

We did manage to put up the tree, just a few days before Christmas, and as usual, it turned out to be beautiful.

Obedient One and I hurriedly wrapped gifts on December 24, just one day before Christmas.

We all tried our best to have a meaningful Christmas celebration this year, and thanks to Madorra's culinary skills, we had good and nutritious food on our table for every meal. It also gave me so much joy to have Obedient One around; her being here completes our nuclear family.

During this Christmas week, our whole family tried to have lunch together everyday - me, my two sons First Born and Worshiper and their wives, God-given and Chosen One, my daughter Obedient One, my grandsons, and Madorra, Chosen One's mom.

It was easy to come together for meals because First Born and his family live right next door to us.

Worshiper and I did the marketing, while Madorra and God-given did the cooking. Chosen One baked lots of cookies when she was not breastfeeding her baby and we all did our part in cleaning up afterward.

We ate our traditional Christmas Eve supper with Ernie's sisters Suzette and Leila and their families. It was such a quiet evening with no other agenda than family togetherness - the children played games, we adults sat around the table and shared our thoughts and our memories. The meal as always was delicious and seasoned with so much love.

There was the giving out of gifts, and of course, lots of picture taking.

Before the evening was over, we listened to Pastor Bong read the Christmas story from Luke's gospel, then we sang a Christmas hymn, Silent Night, after which we all hugged and kissed one another before it was time to leave.

First Born and his family went to the home of God-given's parents to spend the rest of the evening with them.

Worshiper, Chosen One, their baby, Madorra, Obedient One and I went back home, and waited for the stroke of midnight while sipping hot cocoa, and munching the Christmas cookies that Chosen One had baked the night before.

On Christmas day, we all had a late lunch, then gathered together in the living room to open our gifts.

Christmas this year was so simple for our family - not too many trimmings, or excesses... but it was full of love, warmth, kindness, understanding for one another.


I am gaining many new insights about friendship as well.

This year I have realized that I could look at one failed friendship and be weighed down by it...

...wallow in self-pity because of the unfair false accusations that are being believed about me,

...take an overly aggressive self-protective stance trying to untie the knots of loose talk going around,

...jump to wrong conclusions without checking the facts,

...respond in irritation and offense at a friend who opts to dump her feelings on me and send lengthy text messages to my phone at a time when I just wanted to enjoy the occasion meaningfully with my family...

OR

I could walk the unbeaten path by deciding to turn my back on all this once and for all,

... embrace kindness,

... be understanding and compassionate,

... leave my case in the hands of the Ultimate Judge,

... and choose the way of peace.


After the Christmas Eve service, I approached the friend that had chosen not to be on speaking terms with me. I touched her arm, smiled at her, and gave her my gift and Christmas card. My heart is still wounded from all the lies she continues to believe about me, but I did not want to walk in disobedience knowing that God clearly commands me to forgive a brother who has wronged me.

It was done as an act of obedience because I wanted to honor God... and to walk the way of peace.

I do not need to defend myself, or set the false records straight. I can walk in peace without doing that. This is not to say that I am perfect, or completely innocent of any wrongdoing in what happened.

Somewhere along the way of the friendship, I must have taken a wrong turn, without intending to. That is why I took the first step and gave my gift, an offering of peace.

Now, I am free to offer my gift for God at the altar, and this I believe is the best way to end this year.

In the year that is to come, God is speaking to me about right alignments. He has clearly said that 2011 is a Year of Promotion.

Therefore, my heart has to be free of false attachments.

False attachments is an unhealthy pre-occupation with self... self-focus, the sin of pride which I believe is the sin that easily entangles.

This Christmas God quietly impressed upon my heart that any desire to keep clearing my name, protecting my reputation, making sure that my image is untarnished, that I am never spoken ill of...vanity, whether in physical looks or in what others think of me... is the sin of pride.

That subtle sin that can keep itself hidden and undetected... the sin that easily entangles.

I came across this amazing, timely comment about pride written by David Rhodes:

Pride is the dandelion of the soul.
Its root goes deep;
only a little left behind sprouts again.
Its seeds lodge in the tiniest encouraging cracks.


The lesson I am learning this Christmas is to let go of my need to be right, or even look right. I can let the wrong impression stay. It's okay. God knows.

I learned this right on Christmas Day... and God was quietly speaking to my heart,

Do you see what I mean, my child? I don't want you to be like that...to be so self-protective...to be so defensive...moving heaven and earth...being so overly upset just because something that is not true was believed about you... My Son went through that... and He survived. You will survive it as well. Trust Me, even in this, and you will see the glorious ending to it. Choose, will you defend yourself, or will you let Me do it?


I am humbled that God would speak these specific words to my heart.

Just a few days ago I did write a post entitled With Open Hands. At the time I was writing it, I felt so unjustly and unfairly treated. I was not willing to be the one to make the first move toward peace.

I won't delete that post, for it shows the progression of how God deals with my heart. Right in the middle of that post, I wrote these two lines:

I want the battles that I face to soften my heart,
not to encase it in a protective hard and bitter shell.


I desire to walk away in the dignity that true humility brings,
not in the arrogance of pride.


Within the next few days, I kept praying for God to show me the way. And He did.

To pave the way for promotion, my heart must be cleared of offense... an easily offended heart is a sure sign of pride...

As this year ends, I am so thankful that although I have been pretty self-focused the past weeks, nurturing my offended heart, God took time to open my eyes, and to teach me a clear lesson on humility.

Humble is a name my Father gave me at another season of my life...

Humble means to be meek, to be accepting of another person's weaknesses and shortcomings...

It means putting on grace.... to yield... to give way... to let the other person have the right of way... to give him the benefit of the doubt...to put down my self-protective weapons...and to choose the way of peace.

God has comforted me in the midst of the pain I experienced the past months... and this Christmas I am letting go of the pain, and allowing Him to pour the balm of healing on it.

I am enjoying the simple beauty of this season... and above all, the quiet way that He spoke to my heart at the time I needed to hear Him speak to me.

Once again, God stooped down, to rescue me.

You are the love of my life, and the hope that I cling to...

You Are (by Ron Kenoly and Darlene Zschech)



Here are some pictures of our Christmas Eve dinner with Ernie's family:


Chosen One with her mom, Madorra who arrived from Manila to be with her daughter and first grandson for the holidays


My nephew Vince and his wife Rhea


Worshiper and his cousin Jeff


Ernie's sister Leila and her husband Jay


My son First Born, his wife God-given and their son Matthew (Forerunner)


My second son Worshiper, his wife Chosen One and their baby Elijah (Full of Hope)


First Born, Obedient One, me, and Worshiper


Here's my whole family...we're growing!


This is all of us with Ernie's extended family on Christmas Eve. Ernie's only brother Jun and his wife Faith and their children reside in California.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Woman of Noble Character

Philippine Sunrise

Sunrise in Mayawya
by Nino Carandang

photo source







The woman who gave birth to and raised my husband will always have a special place in my heart.

We fondly called her Nanay, a Filipino word that means Mother.

Seven years ago today, Nanay went home to be with the Lord. She was 84 years old.

For eighty four years, this incredible woman touched the lives of many, especially that of her own family. Nanay was indeed God's gift to us.

She was not a perfect wife or mother, and she never pretended to be. But this is what truly endears her to us. She was a simple woman with a simple faith. In this lies the secret of her strength: her simplicity. She lived a life without many trimmings, without complexities. She did what she knew needed to be done. She did not worry about deep doctrines...but she knew what she believed, and Whom she believed in. Nanay lived out her Christian faith in the way she understood it best. Because she did not have such a complicated way of looking at life, she was able to live a life of purpose.

She lived her life, not for herself, but for others. This is her greatest legacy to her family - her selfless life of service. There was always food on the table in her home. He kitchen stove always had a pot with something cooking in it.

She made her home a place of simple beauty by keeping it clean and neat. Her floors and windows were always shiny. Her bedcovers, curtains, linen were washed much too often. But her home was never just for herself and her family. The door to their home was always open, and people felt welcome to stay at her home for a meal, for a place to sleep.

Nanay had a cheerful disposition...she always had something to laugh about. Her home would always be ringing with her laughter. She loved people, she loved meeting together with family and friends to celebrate.

She was involved in the lives of her children even long after they had left her nest and had lives of their own. She was "Nanay" even to the grandchildren and great grandchildren. Two of her children reside in North America (USA and Canada) but distance was not a deterrent to her. She was never far from our lives. She was confident that she had a place, that she belonged, that she was welcome in our hearts.

Some people are takers, but Nanay was a giver. She was always thinking of what she could give others. Always so thoughtful, always finding ways to reach out...she was never too busy to give me and my family a dish of food, a basket of fruits, fresh fish from the farm, vegetables, a bedcover she had crocheted herself, a part of her heart.

Today is a good time to remember the influence and the impact she had upon my life, for she was the mother of the man I loved. She taught him how to be selfless, and giving, and kind. She brought him up in the fear of the Lord, she imparted her life of simple faith to him.

Ernie was a truly a good husband to me, and a good father to our children, I can only thank Nanay for her godly influence on him that continues to live on in our lives.

She was a woman of faith. It was her faith in God her Creator that prepared her for her dying day. She died in peace, just three days before Christmas. We are proud of the legacy and heritage that Nanay left to her descendants. Surely her memory will live on and her life will continue to be a blessing for many generations to come.


Many women do noble things
but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.


I will always love you, Nanay.

Nanay, just a few months before she died.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

With Open Hands


photo source




I will give you the treasures of darkness
And hidden riches of the secret places,
That you may know that I, the Lord,
Who call you by your name,
Am the God of Israel.

- Isaiah 45:3




One of the purposes of this blog is to be a place where I can keep an account of some significant events on my life journey...like a family history book, one I would like to share and pass on to the next generation, if possible. It is a record of lessons I have learned, my strengths, my weaknesses, my joy, as well as my pain.

Hopefully, in the sharing, my life story will serve not only as an example, but also as a warning. There are pitfalls to avoid, temptations to stay away from.

Only one who has been on that journey can show the way... with authority.



Last year, at about this time, I found myself under very different circumstances compared to this year.

Last year our family was preparing to spend Christmas in Manila. Worshiper was getting married to his fiancee Chosen One. And since Chosen One is from Manila, tradition calls for us to hold the wedding where the bride comes from.

The year 2009 for me was a year of many events. It was my first year as a widow, my first year to bond with my daughter in law, my first year as a grandmother... and I had to adjust to the many changes happening in my life. I remember that as 2009 was about to end, and we were making the final preparations for Worshiper's wedding and our trip to Manila, God spoke to me that I was entering my season of rest.

It is true...on the day of Worshiper and Chosen One's wedding, a sense of peace, quietness and rest did fill my heart...

And as the year 2010 began, I went on an unexpected trip back to Chiang Mai, Thailand. It was a sentimental journey for me, thanks to my Thai friends Ut and Oy who extended the gracious invitation to me... a trip that enabled me to revisit the lovely place where Ernie and I spent the last year of his earthly life, and to put a closure to that period of my life.

That trip symbolized the rest and refreshment that God had in store. Indeed, 2010 was a season of rest for me.

Rest, not in a physical sense of inactivity and doing nothing... but rather like wine being allowed to sit, so that the bitter sediment may rest at the bottom of the container, and the wine be poured into a new bottle. This decanting process allows the wine to soften, to age gracefully, and become sweet in the process.

Only a few days are left before the year 2010 comes to a close, and this time, my days are quieter.

I have been able to afford some time looking over the events of the past months and meditating on the important lessons that I need to remember for this year.

A decanting process has been taking place in my life ... where I would have periods of being still, and then being poured out again.




Being still has helped me know my true priorities.

Being poured out has helped me sort out what is true and what is false in my life.

It is easy to take on false burdens and be motivated by a sense of false responsibility... God wants me to know I am not the savior of the world.

I learned this truth in a painful way. A few months ago, I had a very good intention - to speak the truth in love to someone who I thought was my friend.

But something went wrong. In spite of all my good intentions I woke up one morning finding myself standing outside of her life.

"You're not wanted anymore... you're not needed anymore...you're not good enough for me..." was the subtle message I got.

I was never allowed to explain my side, and a series of false accusations were heaped on me.

Sadly, this friend chose not to be on speaking terms with me... a quite childish and immature stance, in my opinion. But, I got the message... I stayed away.

There is a right way and a wrong way to handle conflicts. I must admit I still have not perfected the art.

The easiest way for me was to avoid her - even if it meant not going to the same worship service where my friends go...the one that Ernie and I attended for the past 30 years of our married life.

Having decided not to defend myself, I chose the graceful exit out of her life. I will honor her decision not to speak to me... Yes, I will stay away.

My friend Trudi spoke to me about this - she said that it was probably my defense and my attack, both at the same time.

Yes, Trudi knows me so well, she got it right.

To say I've forgiven is only partly true. Honestly a part of me still hurts, for being so unjustly accused... and my way of defending myself is to maintain my distance.


Last Monday this person and I found ourselves together at a Christmas dinner, and we sat uncomfortably near each other. But I maintained my stand. I chose to ignore her the whole evening.

I was simply playing the game she started... A few months ago there was a plea from me that we meet face to face, and talk about what happened. But she did not honor my request.

Who knows, maybe at the right time it will happen. Maybe it won't...

My heart wants to say, "It doesn't really matter anymore."

But I won't take that stand. I don't want indifference and apathy to set in.

Let me just put it this way: At this point, I am waiting...sitting still in this relationship, and the bitter dregs are settling to the bottom. After a while, it will be time for me to be poured out again.

In a way, I am thankful that I am often in Manila. It gives me a good reason not to be around.

But truth be said, some relationships are not so easy... I call them "high maintenance friendships" - this is just one example.

To not be on speaking terms with someone is something that we do only in grade school. Such a childish response! And honestly, I wish it did not have to be this way, but I have chosen to be at peace about it. There are things that do not work out the way we want them to.

The Bible says that as far as it depends on us, we are to live peaceably with all men.

Or if we are offering our gift at the altar and remember that a brother has something against us, to lay the gift down, make peace with that brother, and then come and offer the gift.

I hear this, and my heart is ready to obey. But for now, I honestly don't know the right steps to take to make this happen.

Surely God sees my heart, my desire... and I no longer want to be burdened about reaching out and making things right, my way.

It is a treasure of darkness for me, the hidden riches of secret places that the Isaiah 45:3 passage talks about. I don't know what happened, or how I could undo what has been done.

My desire to explain and reach out has been rebuffed... and I do not want to keep playing the martyr.

Lessons I have learned:

Not all friendships are ordained by God. Even Abraham was instructed by God to separate from Lot. Only when he obeyed did God open His eyes to see the wide expanse of land that God was giving to him as part of his promised blessing.

I tried to carry the burden of being my friend's savior. And when I took one or two wrong steps, it was easy for her to dump all the blame on me.

In assuming a role that was never intended for me, it was only a matter of time before things turned sour. And they did.

Another lesson is on forgiveness. It is always easier said than done. And while it is firstly a choice, it is also a process. Forgiveness happens in stages. I believe the mind goes first, the emotions follow. It's that "seventy times seven" lesson that Jesus teaches. It is the dying-to-self requirement that makes it so difficult.

Obedience is the key
. Everything in God's kingdom hinges on obedience. I know my Father will honor my obedience.

The most important lesson I am taking to heart this year is letting go... choosing the gold... moving through forward without regrets...keeping my heart soft.


As the year ends, I let go of my sad relationships with open hands. I know that the love and time and effort I have invested into them are not wasted.

I also accept what is happening with open hands. It is a lesson in maturity, and growing in grace. I don't always have to be right, or correct.

In that person's eyes, I am the one wrong. I am the one blind. So be it.

Self-righteousness is such a heavy burden to carry. I choose to be free from that.

There may still be a better way revealed to me to resolve this relational issue... but for now, I am at peace in the space and distance that has been created for me. I feel a certain pleasure in not having to explain my side...

Some friendships are only meant for a season... and now I'm walking away.

I echo what Felisol said in her comment: I refuse to see myself as a victim, or even as a wrongdoer.

It was simply a case of one person misunderstanding my motives, and how do I remedy that? Only God can change her heart and her perspective.

As the year ends, I am learning to choose my battles, and to fight only the ones that I am called to fight.

I lay down at the feet of Jesus any burden I am not called to carry.

The Father knows I place no demands on anyone to understand me as I want to be understood, or to be known as I want to be known. It's impossible.

I want only one thing - that God be honored in my choices, and that I be an agent of redemption in this fallen world.

In time God will heal our wounded hearts - hers and mine. And I pray that we can go our separate ways as friends, not as strangers.

I want the battles that I face to soften my heart, not to encase it in a protective hard and bitter shell.

I desire to walk away in the dignity that true humility brings, not in the arrogance of pride.


This is part of the rest that I am enjoying as the year ends.

When the night is dark, and the end of the road is nowhere to be seen, God is my companion who understands my weakness, and cares enough to see me through.

It is such a comfort that God does not preach a sermon to me when He knows what is going on in my heart.



This year is surely a different kind of Christmas for me. A quiet one, not too traditional even.

The third one without Ernie...

It has taken me forever to put up the tree... but tonight, finally we will. Over hot chocolate and soft cookies, and Ernie's favorite Steve Green Christmas album playing... our family will hang the tree ornaments that have acquired meaning for us through the years... and together we will celebrate the beautiful memories, even as we make new ones... for the new members of our family.

This has been a year of rest for me, and a year of letting go. Not too many expectations, and a lot of surprise endings.

I am thankful for the love of family and friends. God is showing me who my true friends are... and one truth about true friends is clear - they are not many. Only a handful can be called our true friends.

And I receive God's beautiful gifts with open hands, even if sometimes, the gift comes wrapped in pain, still I know it is precious.



Dear friends, to understand what I am trying to say more fully, may I invite you to read a post I wrote when Ernie and I returned to the Philippines in October 2008, after living in Chiang Mai, Thailand for one year:

Home Again: New Wineskins


Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out,
but to see who cares enough to break them down.

- Anonymous

Monday, December 13, 2010

Giving Thanks




The Angelus

oil on canvas by Jean-Francois Millet





Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,
and comes down from the Father of lights,
with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

- James 1:17




In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

- 1 Thessalonians 5:18






Today we celebrate Full of Hope's first month of life.

On November 13, Andre Elijah was born with neonatal pneumonia and a blood infection that required him to be treated with three kinds of antibiotics within a few hours after he came into this world.

Friends and loved ones offered prayers for the full recovery of this tiny baby, and eleven days later, he was discharged from the hospital, fully healed.


As we celebrate Full of Hope's first month of life, my heart brims over with gratitude.

This baby is like an infusion of fresh blood to our family, a new experience.

In my case, Ernie and I went home with our newborn baby three days after I gave birth. This was true in all of our three children.

This time we had to wait...and hope...and believe... and trust.

God was preparing new faith lessons for us to learn.

I am glad that I did not give voice to fear, but rather held on to hope and life. Many times, during the early days of his life, I found myself saying these words, "Thank You, Jesus."

My heart of gratitude built up my faith, and sustained me and my family through the difficult hours.



But being thankful did not come naturally to me. It is something that I had to learn the hard way.

I used to be a complainer, a fault-finder.

Gradually that changed. God exposed the unhealed anger wounds within, and as I allowed Him to pour His healing balm on them, peace came.

God taught me how to forgive those who had hurt me.

I found out first hand that forgiveness is a major requirement to becoming a thankful person.

As long as I nurtured unforgiveness in my heart, I was demanding and hard to please.

These traits can be hidden, and even I was not aware of the pride and the hardness of my heart.

Forgiveness opens the prison door and sets the captives free.

As in everything, it is an ongoing process. But I am seeing the beauty of having gratitude as the canvas on which God paints the story of my life.

To be thankful in everything, not just for the good circumstances, the material provisions, the plans that turn out the way I want them to, the approval and understanding of friends... no, not just that.

It is easy to have an attachment to circumstances, and to be thankful only when the sun is shining, or when I am feeling loved and affirmed.

I want to be grateful...for life and what it brings. Embracing joy and sorrow, pain and pleasure, sickness and health... being thankful without conditions, without reservation.

Gratitude helps uncover the true beauty hidden underneath the circumstances of our lives.


Worshiper, Chosen One and their baby Full of Hope
December 13, 2010


My dear grandson, Elijah...

Today I bless you with a heart that will learn early in life to forgive... so that it will be a seedbed on which the seeds of gratitude will germinate and grow.

I pray that you will have a heart that is just so thankful for life, grateful to be given an opportunity to live.

The enemy tried to discourage us, planting doubt and fear when you were born...but that evil plan was thwarted, and God turned it around.

And today we are thanking God for you, for your full recovery, for the provisions, for the victory.

As I see you growing, may I be reminded to be grateful.

As your parents gain more experience and confidence at bringing you up, may they do it in a godly way, and may their hearts be thankful for the privilege and the trust.

By our example, may you learn what it is to be thankful. May your heart be enlarged by a grateful spirit, not grasping, demanding, or self-centered.

Today I thank God for you, dear Full of Hope and Mighty Warrior.

I ask God to give you a heart softened by thankfulness, so that it will be a well of refreshing to the people whose lives you will touch.

Love,
Nana


A mini fruity cheesecake to mark Full of Hope's first month



Gratitude is the mother of all virtues.

- Cicero

Saturday, December 11, 2010

No Turning Back

Araro

by Toti Salgado
(used with permission)




No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.
- Luke 9:62




But he who endures to the end shall be saved.
- Matthew 24:13




...Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us...
- Hebrews 12:1




I would like to become unfamiliar with everything in order to see again.
-G.C. Lichtenberg





The Scripture passage found in Luke 9:62 which I quoted above was impressed in my heart one morning about three weeks ago while I was praying for my son Worshiper and his wife Chosen One.

A few blog entries ago, I shared about the difficult time that our family went through when Elijah was born.

God seemed to be saying that we, particularly Worshiper and Chosen One, were going through a time of testing, that the quality of our faith may be purified and strengthened.

Nobody likes tests at the moment that it is happening, but the writer of the epistle to the Hebrews says it so beautifully:


Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful;
nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness
to those who have been trained by it.
- Hebrews 12:11


There is a goal, a fruit... which the writer calls the peaceable fruit of righteousness.

But it is attained only after a season of painful training.

These past weeks, I have continued to meditate on what it means to put my hand to the plow, and to not look back.

The authentic Christian life is not like a sport that I watch on television, or even from the seats in a stadium.

I am not a mere spectator, I am a key player.

And at the age when I am nearing the end of the race, I am truly thankful for my own lessons in perseverance...but the race is far from over.

Above is a beautiful photograph of a Filipino farmer plowing his field. It is entitled Araro, a local word that means "to plow."

I fell in love with the picture - mostly for what it stands for. But also because I am a Filipino, and the photo depicts a familiar scene that dots our rural landscape during the planting season.

I have a fierce admiration for the Filipino farmer because to me, he is a symbol of industry, hard work, and perseverance.

We are a people that have gone through so much testing as a nation... and endurance is almost a national character trait.

Howbeit, it does not apply to all... it is only true for those who choose to go all the way.


And this is what I have been praying for - for all my children. That they will not give up in the fight. That they will persevere.

No chastening seems joyful for the moment...but painful.

And in the final analysis, I believe there are only two categories of people:

those who will hold on in faith, or those who will shrink back in unbelief...

those who will run the race to finish, or those who will turn back midstream and not continue...

those who are willing to learn all there is to learn, or those who will give up when the going gets rough...

those who go through life with open hands, or those who end up disappointed and embittered...

those who have eternity as their goal, or those who are living only for short-lived, momentary pleasures...



I want to be counted as one of those who have endured to the end.

As I think of this race that I am in, what comes to mind is a sermon that I heard our founding pastor, Jerry Osbron, often teach about... it is a relay race, the kind where the runners in the team run the entire course one at a time. The others who have gone ahead are waiting at the finish line and cheering on those who are still in the race, running.

Encouragement is needed that we may not waver in our resolve to keep running... to not grow weary in the fight... to endure.

My friend Miriam and I watched The Voyage of the Dawn Treader last night. I read the Narnia Chronicles in the early 1970's when I was still a baby Christian. I never thought I'd ever see these C.S. Lewis and J.R. Tolkien classics turned into a movie... but thirty years later, here I was in a 3-D movie theater watching the familiar story unfold before my eyes in three-dimensional, high-resolution, high-definition, living color!

At the end of the movie, Caspian, Edmund, Lucy, Eustace, and Reepicheep are standing with Aslan on the shore of a great sea. On the other side of this sea lies Aslan's country.

For those who embark on the journey to Aslan's country, "there is no turning back."

My eyes welled up with tears as I was sitting there, listening to these words.

There is no turning back.

Repicheep, that great warrior mouse, lets go of his rapier, and sets sail on his little coracle...toward Aslan's home.

He knows there is no turning back.

My desire is to always look at everything from a new perspective, so that I am not tempted to live my Christian life from a position of familiarity and comfort, where I please myself, and everything is about me and my agenda...

I want to keep pressing onward, ever willing to try out things I've never done, or seen, or experienced before.

What a challenge it is for us, if we are to really live as authentic Christians, to allow God to reveal Himself to us at another level... to step out of the box, and discover yet another facet of God that He's been longing for us to see.

Here are a few lines from The Fellowship of the Unashamed.

It is not clear who really penned these lines, but they have always served as an inspiration to me. I know...it is a high calling, easier said than done. But it always helps me to have a goal to live up to.

I share them here, believing that this is part of our battle-cry for the end-time battle that we will be called to be a part of.

The last battle is not for the weak-willed and the double minded.

It is for those who are determined to endure to the end.


I am part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed.
The die has been cast.
I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.
I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
My past is redeemed,
my present makes sense,
and my future is secure.

I am finished and done with low living,
sight walking, small planning, smooth knees,
colorless dreams, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position,
promotions, plaudits, or popularity....

My pace is set, my gait is fast,
my goal is Heaven,
my road is narrow,
my way is rough, my companions few,
my Guide reliable, my mission clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred,
lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice,
hesitate in the presence of adversity,
negotiate at the table of the enemy,
pander at the pool of popularity,
or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ....

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Obedience Is the Key


Mother and Daughter

0il on hardboard painting by Natalia Tejera




You are your child's keeper until she's mature enough to keep herself.

- Laura Ramirez, in Keepers of the Children




Who then is the faithful and wise servant,
whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household
to give them their food at the proper time?

It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so
when he returns.

Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.

-Matthew 24:45-48




And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

- Galatians 6:9




Today is Obedient One's birthday.

Obedient One is my youngest child, and my only daughter. She was born twenty-six years ago today.

One of the greatest joys that a mother can ever have is to see her children grow up into fine and mature individuals - learning from their mistakes, capable of making wise decisions, and able to weather the storms that come their way.

I have made it a point to be with Obedient One on her birthday ever since she moved away from her hometown to work in the big metropolis of Manila almost almost five years ago.

But this year I have opted not to leave Bacolod City because of the birth of my new grandson three weeks ago. Worshiper and Chosen One live with me, and I wanted to be available... to help, encourage and support them as they enter this new season of their life.

When I woke up early this morning to pray for my daughter, the words of Scripture quoted above came to my mind.

Truly this dear daughter of mine has been such a joy to my heart... for she is an obedient girl.

Obedient...faithful...wise...trustworthy.

She doesn't make hasty decisions - she thinks about them, weighing the pros and the cons carefully, praying and asking God for guidance, considers the consequences.

In her growing up years, she always wanted to obey her parents. She has not given us heartaches, and she has not done anything that would be a disgrace to us.

She is a woman of great intelligence and many abilities, but she has remained simple and unaffected all these years.

She has inner strength.

I am encouraged by her kindness and generosity.

Obedient One is a giver.

There are many beautiful and precious stories about this dear daughter that are tucked in my heart...

There are a few I have written on this blog...three of which I would love to share with you today. May I invite you to have a glimpse into my heart for my daughter by clicking on any of these three blog entries:

It Will Take Forever

Another Good-bye

To My Daughter: If I Could


My dear daughter, my Obedient One,

I bless you today dear daughter with divine connections and open doors of opportunity.

As I write these words, it is 5:46 a.m. and the morning songbird has just come to my bedroom window - singing its usual morning song, a message of hope.

I remember how you loved to hear this bird every morning!

So faithfully gracing our lives by its simple cheerful song...just like you.

You have graced and brought a song to my life by what you are.

May God reward you for your obedience and your faithfulness.

Truly you are a trustworthy young woman... and you have known first hand the value of delayed gratification. You are not impulsive, yet you do not withhold good when it it is in your power to give it!

Therefore, I have seen with my eyes how God is promoting you...letting you reach new territories even though you may not be aware of it.

But in due time He will open your eyes to see how far you have gone.

Remember this, obedience is the key to great reward.

Your obedient heart is paving the way for God to promote you and draw you closer to His heart.

You are a wise and faithful servant... God is honored because you fear Him, and you are careful with your words and your actions!

For a young girl like you, living in a huge city, you have kept yourself pure and untainted by the evil that surrounds you.

I have kept praying for God's hedge of protection to be with you every minute of the day, and God has heard my prayer.

May God continue to teach you the many wonderful lessons that He has in store for you...

I am proud of you, and I believe that you are accomplishing the things that God has created you for, one step at a time.

Not many mothers are blessed to have a daughter like you...so I thank God for giving me the joy and the privilege and honor of raising you.

Thank you for the love you have shown me, your brothers, your sisters in law, and your nephews!


With much love always,
Mama


Obedient One with her mini schnauzer, George
taken on Christmas Eve, December 24, 2009


This is me with my three precious daughters - one mine by birth, and two by marriage to my sons - Chosen One, me, God-given, and Obedient One
taken on December 26, 2009


Obedient One and me on New Year's Eve, December 31, 1009