The man of God came up and told the king of Israel,
‘This is what the Lord says:
“Because the Arameans think
the Lord is a god of the hills
and not a god of the valleys,
I will deliver this vast army into your hands,
and you will know that I am the Lord"'.
- 1 Kings 20:28
Sharon will become a pasture for flocks,
and the Valley of Achor a resting place for herds,
for My people who seek Me.
-Isaiah 65:10
As the year 2019 is about to end, I make a definite stand to recover the voice I believe I have lost. I do this to regain freedom to start 2020 on a clean slate, leaving behind burdens that have weighed me down, and opening up room for fresh provisions for the next leg of my spiritual journey.
It has taken me several months to finish this post. It was begun soon after my 66th birthday blog post was written - eight months ago! I would sit at my desk hoping to add to what had already been written, but my thoughts would just be swirling around in my mind.The words that did come were somehow not good enough.
My philosophy in writing is that it should never be done out of duty but as a delight. And so I put my pen down and simply gave up trying.
I was seven when I first discovered that thoughts could be verbalized.
My grade school teachers taught how writing can be a work of art—well thought out and deep.
I have never forgotten that.
In my prayer room is a filing cabinet where most of my journals are kept.
Then, twelve years ago, I discovered the joy of online self-publishing. When my husband passed away, this blog became my traveling companion in my journey through grief. It also became a chronicle, a silent witness to my life events.
For the most part of this year, however, time to write was a luxury I did not have.
Truth is, I can't afford not to write because writing is one of my emotional tank fillers!
More importantly, it is one of the many ways I worship God. My Abba Father is the One writing my life story, I am just the pen in His hand.
Writing is not only an act of honoring God... for me, it is also an act of obedience.
What I'm saying is that writing is an integral part of my devotional life.
One of the Scripture passages that I treasure is found in Isaiah 50:4 -
The Lord God has given me an assignment.
When the year began I had high hopes of getting closer to God through a daily reading of His Word, prayer, and journaling. Well, the year has come to an end, and I must admit... I have fallen short of my goal.
No self-condemnation here, just acknowledging that I have been preoccupied with too many concerns. Like Martha... instead of choosing the one thing that really mattered, sitting at the feet of her Master, and listening to Him, I have chosen the easy road of distraction and misplaced priorities.
The call of the urgent has deprived me of valuable opportunities to respond to God's daily invitation to deepen my relationship with him.
In place of spiritual fervor and passionate intercession, I have settled into a spiritual plateau of discouragement and emotional weariness.
The garden of my heart has suffered neglect.
I remember a term from my readings as a young Christian in the early 1970s that best describes my present condition. It is the word Zerrissenheit, a German word literally translated as "torn-to-pieces-hood," a state of being fragmented or torn apart.
It's true, I have high spiritual standards, and I am probably just being too hard on myself.
But then again, why not?
In a spiritual war, we cannot afford to let our guard down.
I take to heart these words of Paul to the Ephesians:
Whatever the reason I have arrived at this point, I am grateful that God's hand is always reaching out to me. He has made His presence felt, in the most unlikely places, at times when I least expected.
He is the still point, the strong tower in the midst of the storm.
I hear the Father saying:
Come closer My daughter, you need to defragment and walk in the way of shalom.
This end of the year blog entry is my way of saying Yes! to Abba Father, my humble offering of obedience.
I am picking up my pen once again.
Through this post, I hope to recover not only my voice, but my vision as well... to view the past year from the unobstructed vantage point of heaven, the way Abba Father sees it.
Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
Habakkuk 2:2, 3
val·ley
noun
1: an elongate depression of the earth's surface usually between ranges of hills or mountains
2: a low point or condition
This Scripture passage from Hosea 2:14, 15 has been very much on my heart this year. In the moments that I have picked up my Bible seeking peace and consolation, I have turned to this passage and lingered on it.
It sheds more light on my stony path, even as the new year is just a few hours away.
There are at least three possible ways of looking at any given passage in the Bible. We can look at its historical timeline, the original context in which it was written, taking into consideration the audience that it is speaking to. We can also look at its prophetic timeline, and interpret it in light of the future fulfillment of the passage.
Then there is the personal application, looking at it in the context of our circumstances and hearing what God is saying in the midst of what we are going through.
Wilderness.
The word has a strong overtone. It connotes desert — barren, hot, arid, where nothing grows but thorny plants that can endure the severe environment.
Externally, a wilderness is a desolate place.
And this is where I have been the past months, internally. A place of discomfort, worry, fear, separated from God's presence.
Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
Will bring her into the wilderness...
Allure.
Lure.
I know that a lure is a kind of bait used to attract a fish to bite the fish hook.
To me, it sounds like it's God-ordained.
The passage indicates there's no way I can run away from the wilderness because God is the one alluring me to go there. The circumstances I find myself in—they are all part of His plan.
Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness... Matthew 4:1
In my circumstances, I am gradually pushed back until there is no place left for me to go but the wilderness.
My desire is for comfort, to have things done my way. But what if it is the Spirit Himself leading me up to the wilderness? What if God Himself is engineering my circumstances so that I have nowhere else to go but there?
Although Jesus was a Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered. (Hebrews 5:8)
These past months, I have nurtured a low grade fever of worry, fear, and anxiety. But in truth, I am being given many opportunities to learn obedience.
Trust Me, Abba Father says.
Intellectual trust does not help. I need to learn... learn... and relearn... heart-level trust.
And speak comfort to her...
In the midst of my discomfort, God speaks comfort to me. The New International Version puts it this way: and speak tenderly to her...
He has not led me to the wilderness to scold, rebuke, or point an accusing finger. In my wilderness, God tenderly speaks, God comforts.
The wilderness is not necessarily a bad place.
The word in Hebrew for wilderness is midbar, מדבר. It comes from the Hebrew devar, דבר, which means "word," or deber, which means “speak.”
Wilderness is
A place of total reliance upon God
A place of open miracles
A place of learning about God
A place of learning about myself
A place of learning about freedom
A place of preparation for fruitfulness
An unwanted place
A temporary place
A place of death
source
It also means to put things in order. Jesus often went to the wilderness to get a devar from the Father; John the Baptist operated in the wilderness.
It may be an unwanted place, but it is not permanent; it is only a place of preparation.
God is preparing my heart for total reliance on Him, that I may come to the place of freedom, fruitfulness, and open miracles.
In the wilderness, the anointing of words is crucial. We need to be very careful with the words we speak when we are in the wilderness.
The Lord gave promises and instructions in the wilderness. Even if the physical doesn’t seem to match the promise, I must not forget that a time of waiting and trusting is required.
I call this "spiritual incubation period" for the vision to become reality.
This is exemplified in the words spoken by the twelve spies while they were in the wilderness. The ten spies spoke words of unbelief, and they perished in the desert. Joshua and Caleb spoke words of faith, and they were able to obtain their promised inheritance, even though they had to contend and wait for it to come about.
When we go through a wilderness season, God is doing something. He is putting our lives in order.
In such times, I am reminded to be careful with my words. I will hold on to faith and boldness... give room for faith and trust to grow and mature.
My words and conduct have an effect, not only on my own life, but in the lives of the generations that come after.
Because of Achan's sin, Israel was deprived of sure victory at Ai, an entire nation suffering defeat and setback because of one man’s greed and disobedience. Similarly we may find ourselves today in situations we did not ask for.
My valley of Achor is my door of hope... a place of song, a place of remembrance.
Sharon will become a pasture for flocks,
and the Valley of Achor a resting place for herds,
for My people who seek Me.
-Isaiah 65:10
As I say good-bye to 2019, I am coming not to a dead end but to an open door. The prophet Isaiah mentions the valley of Achor as a place of rest.
This year I have been on a sacred journey through the wilderness. I lost my song, I wavered in my faith, I wallowed in fear.
But the amazing thing I realize is that I was never alone. My Abba Father was with me every step of the way... speaking comfort, restoring hope, rekindling faith.
I will give her her vineyards from there...
It is in my valley of Achor that I receive back my vineyards.
One vineyard is a renewed trust in my heavenly Father, in the midst of uncertainty.
Another is the promise of restored joy and a fruitful harvest.
...and the Valley of Achor a resting place for herds,
for My people who seek Me.
It is in my valley of Achor that I find rest, for it is He alone that my heart seeks.
Such was its physical formation that in a most literal sense the valley of Achor was a door of hope, for in front of the Israelites, as they wound through the pass, there lay at the far end of the vista the smiling vineyards and yellow cornfields and peaceful blue hills of the Promised Land. So does the Redeemer lead those to whose hearts He has spoken, assuring them of reconciliation and peace with Himself. Every winding in the avenue of life reveals a blessing that is richer than the blessings they at present enjoy. They are lured from grace unto grace, and from strength unto strength. Mercy joins hand with mercy. Each good thing received becomes the pledge and the foretaste of a better which God hath prepared for as many as love Him. (from Great Texts of the Bible, by editor James Hastings)







1 comment:
Hello dear Lidj. I found myself thinking of you and came to see if you were still blogging. Life's been so busy and changed so much that I quit following most blogs and didn't even write much on my own. Often when I tried, the words weren't there, and I see the same was true of you. How ironic though that we both learned so much of God's faithfulness last year!
I hope you are doing well. A little bit of me would love to connect again, yet I know that our lives are busy enough that the liklihood of it actually happening is slim. But know that a sister here in America was thinking of you and praying for you this morning.
Much love in Christ, Katie.
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