Motherhood: A Humble Grace

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...but grow in the grace and knowledge 
of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.

2 Peter 3:18

I awoke at 2 o'clock this morning, remembering that today is my third child, my only daughter's birthday.

And so many emotions welled up in my heart, so many thoughts... I know for certain Abba was calling me to take time to pause and listen to what He is saying.

In the past He has often done that, but a lot of times I have not been careful to obey. The call of the urgent would always get in the way. This morning, I dare not let the sacred opportunity pass me by.

One thing keeps reverberating on my heart, and that is the word FAITHFUL.

Through the years and seasons of my life, Father God has been faithful.

It is always easy to look at that word intellectually. Of course, God is faithful. After all, that's His nature.

But this morning, the pounding of my heart tells me there's something more. 

He is the faithful God who has given me the unique opportunity to be a mother to three beautiful children.

I don't think I have ever taken time to reflect deeply on how awesome that privilege really is. The years just went by too fast. The requirements of mothering, of nurturing, of bringing up,  teaching life skills, imparting spiritual lessons, not so much by words, but by example... the toll on my physical and emotional well-being... the financial aspect of providing for all their needs...

All this on top of everything else—the daily rigors of making a life, and living well.

The story of my inner struggles, the unsung victories and the private pain the past 40 plus years of my life is known to no one else but God and me alone.

As I was quietly reflecting on my life this morning, I heard Abba gently whispering, "I have never left your side through it all."

I am overcome with emotion even as I write these words, and Bob Fitts' song You Are So Faithful playing in the background.

Dawn is breaking; soon the world around me will awake.

But I don't want to miss this chance to thank Abba Father on such a special day as this, my daughter's birthday, for speaking personally to me, reminding me that He is my faithful Father.

I know I have shared this many times before, but I will say it one more time. At this very moment, thirty five years ago, my husband Ernie and I were at the parking lot of Riverside Hospital, waiting for my birth contractions to progress before checking in at the hospital to give birth to our third baby.

It was in that parking lot that God changed my heart forever. You see, I had felt unprepared to have another baby so soon after our second child was born just two years earlier. I was not sure how I could be a good mother to another child when my two sons were still so small.

God spoke these words clearly to me that cool December morning, "The baby in your womb about to be born is not an accident. The baby (I didn't know yet whether the baby would be a boy or a girl) will be a constant reminder to you of My faithfulness. You will never forget this message in the years to come. Each time you celebrate the birthday of this child, you will remember that I am a faithful God."

Indeed my heart was forever changed. 

Just a few hours later, at about 8 o'clock that morning, a healthy 8 lb. 10 oz. baby girl came into this world.

On my Facebook status for today I wrote this words:

Something very special happens each time a mother brings a child into this world... each time a baby is born. All heaven rejoices at Abba Father's unique and special handiwork. All mothers know this awesome feeling. Today I celebrate the day I gave birth to my only daughter many years ago. What a gift she is to me as I have seen her grow up from infancy to early childhood to teen years and finally adulthood. I know life has not always been easy for her, but she is carrying herself well through the mountains and the valleys. As a mother you wish you could have your children in your nest forever, but of course that is not how life works. At some point you have to let go of them, and let them find and live their own lives, the beautiful life God intended for them. On your birthday, dear daughter I thank God all over again for the gift of you. Thank you for honoring me as your mother. Because of that, you will prosper in all you do, and you will live long in the land God has called you to. My prayer: Daughter, always move up to the next level of your life, walking toward the glorious destiny that Abba Father has prepared for you.

Indeed, motherhood is a unique privilege. Being a mother has taught me firsthand the unspoken truth behind it, in motherhood lies the true meaning of dying to self and becoming a humble servant.

Carrying a child for nine months inside your womb is the easiest part. Imparting life to that human being, way beyond the physical... this is the hardest part, yet the greatest privilege of being a mother.

Footwashing is the word that comes to my heart.

Jesus washed the feet of the apostles at the Last Supper, the night before He died, as an act of humility and servanthood.

To be a mother is to be a foot washer. In more ways than one, being a mother requires serving our children willingly, not grudgingly. Footwashing in my willing service, then through the never-ending intercession that I offer to heaven on their behalf.

I serve my children by praying for them.

I pray regularly for protection, guidance, provision, spiritual growth, endurance, and encouragement.
 
Undoubtedly, there have been many mistakes in the past. Footwashing includes thanking the Lord for His ongoing redemption.

Nevertheless, I am also grateful for the many things I did right.

I am thankful that the faithful God has given me the heart to be faithful to my children. That I never gave up on them. That I remain committed till the end.

In a manner of speaking, their father and I have taught our horses how to cross the river, and they are now safely on the other side.

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We couldn't have done it on our own.

I am so thankful for the humble grace Abba Father has given.

So here I am, 40 years of being a mother... so thankful for the lessons in humility, self-sacrifice, a heart that keeps on forgiving, and never stops believing.

Inevitably, a mother will be blamed for things that she never intended to do. Maybe there is still a wound that is bleeding in her children's hearts, a grudge, a painful memory...

But how often does she have to say, I'm sorry?

Abba Father says. Whatever you have lacked, I have provided, and continue to provide. You can rest in My love.

Indeed, Abba Father is the Ultimate Footwasher. He washes my feet as well.


And today, my heart overflows with gratitude.

Thank You Abba, for the opportunity You have given me to be a mother.

There are still so many things on my heart that I want to say... but for now, this will do.

The Amplified Bible Classic Edition says it beautifully:

For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God]. - 1 Corinthians 13:12


Only in eternity will the full story be revealed.

And only on the day I leave earth will I stop being a mother to my children.

This is a song I sing everyday... I never get tired of it because it is my story... it is my song. My tribute to God's faithfulness.

"You Are So Faithful" by Bob Fitts
Like the sun that rises everyday,
You are so faithful. Lord, You are faithful.
Like the rain that You send,
And every breath that I breathe,
You are so faithful, Lord

Like a rose that comes alive every spring,
You are so faithful. Lord, You are faithful.
Like the life that You give,
to every beat of my heart,
You are so faithful, Lord.

I see the cross and the price You had to pay,
I see the blood that washed my sins away.
In the midst of the storm
through the wind and the waves,
You'll still be faithful, You'll still be faithful,
When the stars refuse to shine and time is no more,
You'll still be faithful,
You'll still be faithful, Lord.