Defying Gravity

Photo taken on board my January 12 flight back to Manila






Through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free
from the law of sin and death.
- Romans 8:2




...being confident of this,
that he who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
- Philippians 1:6




See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
- Isaiah 43:19

Already the first month of the new year is over.

Much as I wanted to document the many incredible things that have taken place in my little corner this past month, it just has been impossible to do that.

The least I can do is write an overview, summarize the main lesson God has taught me these past four weeks, and give January a name as it ends.

In 2011, giving each month a name as it ended enabled me to look back over the past twelve months and clearly see the pattern of how God has been at work in my life.

This year He is bringing me to a much higher level.



I was on an airplane four times this month. This isn't really anything new to me. Those who have an idea of my history already know that riding airplanes has been a part of my life this past decade.

But this time I realized that God was speaking to me not just about physical take offs and touch downs... He was showing me something of greater spiritual significance, something that is to have a deep impact on my life this year.

There are jubilee blessings about to be poured out over me and my family.

This year also promises to be a year of fulfillment and completion. He who has started a good work in me will complete it.

It will be a year of restoration.

The verse written on my heart as God's promise for me this year is one quoted above, taken from Isaiah 43:19.

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

The year 2012 will be year of new things for me. God has spoken: Keep your eyes on me... be sure you are following my lead... for you have not passed this way before.

I sense a different law at work in me these days. I became aware of it in early December when God set me free from the prison of an offended spirit. (Forgiveness Frees!)

God has been waiting to do a deeper work... but the right conditions had to be met.

God intervened at the right time, and activated a new law in motion in my life.

Gravity is a universal law, a downward pull needed to keep us from floating all over the place. However, to enable us to move up higher, and to allow us to travel to distant places, this law has to be superseded by another law... the law of aerodynamics.

This law enables airplanes to take off and travel above the clouds. The law of gravity still operates, but because of the law of lift, the downward pull of gravity is rendered inoperative through the operation of a higher law.

This whole month God has been shifting my perspective, and showing me just how the law of lift is also true in a spiritual sense.

The law of gravity still works, but the law of lift can supersede it. Speed, thrust, flow... these are some of the elements of Newton's law of motion that enable the law of aerodynamics to function.

In my own spiritual life, there are elements that enable the law of lift to work as well. I have discovered that obedience, forgiveness, humility, going back to my First Love... being unencumbered by the things of this world, choosing to let go, descending into heavenly greatness... these are some important ingredients that allow me to soar and not be pulled down to an earthly existence.

We can choose to look at our relationships and life circumstances from the lower law - or we can choose to view them from a higher level.

How easy it is to be legalistic and demand our just dues in any personal transaction we make. Unfortunately this kind of mindset never works to our advantage. No matter how hard we have tried to make everything right in our life, things will still not always go as we expect them to. Some of our best laid out plans are still bound to miscarry.

Grace and mercy... this is the way of the cross. This is the path Christ took.


This month I have become aware of a compassion in my heart that has replaced a subtle demand that people, and even God himself, treat me according to how I want my life to go.

This has been a lesson deeply ingrained into my heart the past many decades of my life, but if I want to move up higher, the lesson has to be re-learned at another level.

Go through life with open hands.

It does not mean that I become a doormat for other people to step on.

Meekness... gentleness... these character traits of the Lord Jesus Christ did not mean He allowed Himself to be trampled on by others.

For me, it means to go through my present circumstances without a heavy demand for others to meet my need, or placing an expectation on them to do things my way.

Meekness is being able to wait for God to act, and trusting that He has the situation in His hands.

Operating under the spiritual law of lift has required me to release people from promises they have made to me and my family.

Looking to human beings to keep their word created in me a dependence on them, an expectation, that was pulling me downward.

I wanted to be free.


Earlier this month, during the personal retreat at Tagaytay, I approached God's heavenly court and released these persons from promises that have remained unfulfilled to this day. By doing so, I sent a clear message to the enemy that I am now looking to God, not man, for the provisions of the promise.

Although it was just a simple declaration, done without fuss or fanfare, doing so brought such an awesome release for me.

The spiritual law of lift enables us to look at others not with judgment but with compassion.

The law of compassion is a higher law, one so powerful that it breaks hearts of stone. Many years ago I read this quote in a book I was reading: Treat any human heart as if it were breaking.

I have never forgotten it. Oswald Chambers himself reinforced this when he said,

Stop having a measuring stick for other people.

There is always at least one more fact, which we know nothing about, in every person’s situation.

The first thing God does is to give us a thorough spiritual cleaning. After that, there is no possibility of pride remaining in us.

My Utmost for His Highest, June 17

On January 17, my daughter's domestic helper Irene left us to get married. She had served us well for nearly three years. On the morning of her departure, I could not help but shed tears of sadness. She was a good maid to my daughter and me and has made things a lot easier for us. She would be up at dawn each morning to prepare breakfast and Obedient One's packed lunch. Irene had become so good at preparing a variety of salads, sauces, pastas, stews, and my daughter always enjoyed the delicious meals that her maid had lovingly prepared for her. She kept the house clean, and did the laundry every day. In the evening, supper would be waiting for my daughter when she got home. Even George, my daughter's mini schnauzer was well taken care of.

Irene was a picture of servitude. The heart of her master trusted in her.

As I was thinking of this, I heard God speaking to my heart. She is a picture of the delight that you bring Me when you come to me with a heart of glad surrender and willing submission.


Several times this month, I also had the chance to meet with my friends Rosemarie, Alberto, Gina, Tina, and others for a time of listening to the prophetic messages God has spoken over our nation, and responding in a time of intercession. God is doing a new thing in me, in my family, in our nation. He is looking for those who will respond in obedience, not be hampered or hindered by self-focus or personal goals.

After a time of intercession with dear friends in Manila

God is looking for those who are willing to set aside personal goals to accomplish the higher goals of His kingdom. While it is important to be a good steward of our homes and family responsibilities, God is showing me that these things can be done without making them the priority and without sacrificing the greater plans He has for the advancement of His eternal reign right where I find myself.


On January 29, I returned to Bacolod to be part of the ministry team for a two day seminar that we conducted with the junior high school students of Trinity Christian School. For two days at the end of this month, we did The Question for Young Women at this school. Right before our eyes, we again saw how God set many young people free from their wrong perceptions. God allowed shaky foundations to be dismantled and lovingly brought many of them to a place of building their hope on the solid rock that is Jesus Christ.

Posing with my small group
Front: Christine, Krystel, me, Ruth, Shanice
Back: Rovimel, Kyra, and Trisha

With the junior high school students of Trinity Christian School
after the two day seminar, The Question

So many beautiful lessons...

God wants me to be aware of His moves...

He is calling me to live the examined life... to live my life in the light of His presence!



In the days to come I will take time to post pictures I have taken to go with this end of the month entry.

Indeed, what a wonderful way to start this new year. I name this month Taking Off.

Yes, I am taking off... I am entering my Jeremiah 33:3 season...

Call to me and I will answer,
and show you great and mighty things you do now know.

And yes... in this season, the Holy Spirit is pouring the overcomer's anointing into me!

I received this book as a Christmas present all the way from VA, USA, from my best friend Melanie.

A Sacred Journey

Coconut trees at the Bacolod-Silay Airport
taken upon my arrival this afternoon

Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture.
- Kak Sri




Let another man praise you and not your own mouth;
A stranger, and not your own lips.

- Proverbs 27:2




Do all things without complaining and disputing,
that you may become blameless and harmless,
children of God without fault
in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation...

- Philippians 2:14

In my very first post for this year, I wrote of the special start of the year retreat that my friends and I had at Sonya's Garden in Tagaytay. From January 3 to 5, we were privileged to experience the presence of God in our midst, and we received a fresh word from Him.

God is true to His promise, if we seek Him, we will find Him. But He will not come in the way we expect... for God is indeed the God of the surprise visits. He will come in His own way, and He will say what needs to be said.

He cannot be manipulated... controlled... or forced to fit into our man made molds.

After being in Manila for nearly a month, I arrived back in Bacolod City this afternoon.

Our plane was parked a few meters away from the terminal building and we had to use the stairs to disembark. As I was walking toward the building, I glanced up at the sky and saw a beautiful rainbow. Quickly, I took my camera from my backpack, hoping to get a shot of the rainbow, but I was stopped by an airport security person who was making sure that nothing obstructed the smooth flow of runway activity.

Whenever God wants to speak hope into my heart, He sends me a rainbow.

Thank you dear Father for that message of hope. It is clearly a sign of Your care and love for me.

He knows. The past days I have been asking Him for something tangible, something to encourage me, and give assurance to my heart that He is doing something in the midst of my circumstances.

Show me... I had been praying.

Show me, Lord, that my present circumstances are a means for my transformation and growth, a means for Your glory to shine through.

When I saw the rainbow this afternoon, my heart leaped.

Through the years, God has been teaching me how to be thankful for the smallest thing that comes my way, be it good or "bad" ... the slightest irritation... the unexpected interruption... the sudden twist in the circumstances of my life...

Every disappointment is God's appointment!

I thank God for taking time, for the methods He uses, to build His character into my heart... to teach me how to be set free from the prison of a demanding, complaining, and fault finding spirit...

Indeed, it is a lifetime process...

The Godhead - the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit - have a school where they teach their willing students the way out, a pathway through any storm or difficulty, a school called adversity.

Adversity is not always as bad as it sounds. Adverse circumstances can be as simple or as small as a certain plan or expectation that doesn't happen the way we want them to.

There is always another way... a better way. In the "either-or" situations of our life, God always has a third alternative, and He is seeking those who will walk down the path of obscurity and servanthood with Him.

He has taught me and yes, I have learned, to welcome adversity as a friend.

This is the journey I am on, my sacred journey.

Becoming more like Him and less like me.

That He might increase, and I decrease.

That His my will, not mine, be done in my life.

It is not an easy road to travel, but I have discovered that God walks with anyone who chooses this path.

I do not want to grow old having become so used to always having my way in anything... and turn out to be a demanding taskmaster in the lives of people around me...

My desire rather is to be a gentle touch, a kind word, an understanding, compassionate heart.

A breath of fresh air!

Changing the environment with my presence... never drawing attention to myself, but becoming a signpost for others to see the Father!

My heart a reflection of the Father's heart.

I want to train my eyes to see what is right and good around me, not what is wrong...

To be able to say... "It is good enough, and now I will enjoy my rest... tomorrow is another day."

To enjoy and savor each moment as it comes, even when hard work is being done, to be able to do it with gladness and a song in my heart ...

That others may drink from my well... and find rest in my healing presence.

Father, help me to be real, to be open with my flaws and my shortcomings... and not try to hide my woundedness.

We may fool others, window dress our spirituality, sugar coat our words, pretend to be kind, or generous.

But God can never be mocked. He sees right through us.

In this season I'm in, Father... I hunger for more of You.


Are You with me? Am I on the right track, Lord? Or have I lost my way?


Then He opened my eyes to see that beautiful rainbow this afternoon... A timely reminder of His promise.


Thank You, my dear Father for speaking to me so tenderly.

Setting the Tone

At Sonya's Garden Country Bed and Breakfast
taken by Lidia, January 5, 2012

In that day the LORD of hosts will be
For a crown of glory and a diadem of beauty
To the remnant of His people,
For a spirit of justice to him who sits in judgment,
And for strength to those who turn back the battle at the gate.

- Isaiah 28:5, 6

It never ceases to amaze me that God has continually given a sense of direction by making me aware of the changing themes and seasons in my life.

For the past two years, I had started the year by visiting my dear friends Ut and Oy in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I called it my "sentimental journey" because Chiang Mai was the lovely and memorable place where Ernie and I spent the last year of his earthly life together. Less than two months after we returned to the Philippines in 2008, Ernie went home to heaven.

Returning to Chiang Mai a year after Ernie passed away proved to be beneficial. It gave me a sense of closure, something that could only happen as I re-visited the familiar places that we loved and re-lived the many memories that we made together in those places.

My Thai friends and I parted ways last January 2011 with the understanding that we would see each other again one year later.

Sometime in mid 2011, however, I had a sense that Thailand was not going to be part of my 2012 journey. And I was right.

Because of the severe flooding that affected Bangkok in October and November last year, Ut's parents had to move in with them in Chiang Mai in November. They were tied down with family concerns, and we all agreed that a trip to their place this new year was out of the question.

Unknown to me, God had something different planned for me for the start of this new year, something I never expected or even asked for.

A few days after Christmas, my friend Rosemarie invited me to be part of a personal retreat that she and her daughter Donna were planning for early January this year. I welcomed this invitation with gladness. In response, my heart resonated with a deep y-e-s.

What made it extra special was the fact that my other dear friend Tina was also invited to be with us.

God brings people into our lives for a purpose, and these past months, I could tell that a special kingdom connection was forming between me and these special friends of mine.

On January 3, I was on board my dawn flight back to Manila. The year was so fresh, and my heart was filled with excitement, even though I had no idea about what God was going to do during the personal retreat.

Rosemarie had asked me to share with them whatever it was that God was putting on my heart.

It isn't easy to give words to my feelings these days.

The day before I left, I put away the tree ornaments - all by myself. Without fanfare or much ado. It felt like Christmas came in unannounced, and quietly left, without saying goodbye. We did not have much time to enjoy looking at the Christmas tree this year. And even though this tree continues to remind me of our past Christmases, somehow this year, it stood in its corner, so humble and unassuming. Never demanding to be noticed.

And now, suddenly, the decors were being taken down and stored, until the next Christmas season.

I wasn't unhappy, but there was a tinge of sadness in my heart.

I felt tired of the fleeting and the temporary, felt a kind of homesickness... for something more permanent... something more eternal.

As I packed my bags for my flight, my two dear dogs were on the bed, looking up at me with a quizzical expression on their faces, as if to say, "Leaving again?"

Really, I found myself smiling. Just that afternoon my second grandson Elijah was holding on to me, not wanting to let go... and it's been a while since my first grandson Matthew and I read a book together. These children grow so fast, I thought to myself.

But yes, I had to go, for there was a divine call and assignment that I could not ignore.

As the plane took off, there was an inner prompting on my heart. A voice seemed to say, "Unholy alliances."

I sat up and paid attention. Is that You, Lord?
There was a soft reply, Yes... talk to them about unholy alliances.


The plane landed a few minutes ahead of schedule. I took a taxi to my daughter's pad, and upon reaching it, a simple breakfast prepared by her maid Irene was ready, for which I was grateful.

I hurriedly packed a few clothes in my backpack, and about an hour later, Donna's driver arrived to pick me up. There was a sense of quiet anticipation as we headed toward Tagaytay, a lovely city south of Manila situated on the top of a hill. One of our country's top ten destinations, it has a scenic charm all its own.

We were booked for two nights and three days at Sonya's Garden, a Country Bed and Breakfast place located within a rainforest that Sonya has transformed into a magical getaway.

Below are some of the pictures of the lovely time we had together. The photos will speak for themselves.

But I must mention here that God spoke powerfully to all of us during the devotional and worship times. He did speak clearly about repenting of the unholy alliances that we may have unknowingly entered into, an example of which is found in the story of Joshua and the Gibeonite deception narrated in Joshua Chapter 9.

God is moved by our repentant hearts. When we entrust our relationships to Him, and in faith choose to honor and remain faithful to the covenants we have entered into, He will come to our rescue and bring redemption to these difficult relationships though it may seem that these have somehow ensnared us, or hindered us from moving forward. The story found in Joshua Chapter 10 of God helping Joshua and the Gibeonites win the battle against the five Canaanite kings was a perfect example of this.

My heavenly Father planned this start-of -the-year retreat to bring refreshment. The past months, as I had shared in bits and pieces in my blog posts, I had been through many changes; and whether I was aware of it or not, the truth is that I badly needed a time of respite and reprieve.

The good food that was available to us in abundance, the kindness of Donna in treating us to a relaxing experience at the Nurture Spa on the afternoon of our arrival, the cool climate, the lovely and comfortable setting, a feeling of kinship with my dear kingdom friends, the healing presence of God through the worship songs, and through His word, the partaking of the Lord's supper on the last day of our retreat ... all these and more were put together by God to give each one of us just what we all needed.

What a wonderful gift God gave to set the tone for 2012!

Rest... renewal... restoration... provision... beauty...

Because the number 12 has such an important place in the Bible, the year 2012 promises to be a year of fulfillment and completion.

Twelve is a perfect number and signifies governmental perfection. As this year starts, my prayer is that God will redeem me, my family, and those I hold dear in my life from whatever unholy alliances we have entered into. I am believing and declaring that God will indeed rule the affairs of our lives this year.

This is a year of freedom!

He who began a good work will bring it to completion!

He never leaves a work He started half done!

On the morning of the last day of our retreat, Tina and I woke up early and had an awesome time of worship. God did grace us with the beauty of His holiness and the gentleness of His spirit in our midst. There was so much freedom to worship Him at that early hour, and I truly appreciate how God showed Himself to be so real in my life - His presence was almost tangible!

Those three days in Tagaytay were undoubtedly ordained by God to show me that this is the theme of my life this year - restoration, renewal, completion, fulfillment!

Yes, the Holy Spirit is doing a new work in me, and He is pouring the new wine of restoration... and the renewed wineskin of my heart is being made ready to receive it!

And let the beauty of our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands.

- Psalm 90:17

Day 1 - Lunch at Sonya's Garden

Tina's country bedroom



Walking on healing stones at the Nurture Spa

Feeling so relaxed and rejuvenated fter an hour and a half of massage at the Nurture Spa


Our shower area - so beautiful!



Fresh flower petals at a corner of the shower area

Sea shells on strings


beaded gauze curtains




assorted dinner ware for the guests' use


dining room

entrance to our cottage


Day 2 - fresh mangoes for breakfast



Day 2 - dinner at the Verbena Cafe, Discovery Suites



Rosemarie, Tina and me - kingdom friends


"The Fondue Alliance"- that's us!



another cottage at Sonya's Garden


This is the cottage where we stayed

A pebbled footpath leading to a secret garden


Donna


Day 3 - Breakfast



Communion on the last day of our retreat


Tina


Tallit - Rosemarie's prayer shawl


Mother and daughter

Three friends


Three friends - Donna, Lila, and Jennifer


Donna and Rosemarie after a time of blessing




A few parting shots before leaving Sonya's garden

Treasuring... Pondering

Sunset

photo source

When they had seen him, they spread the word
concerning what had been told them about this child,
and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

- Luke 2:19




“Why were you searching for me?” he asked.
“Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?”
But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.

But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.

- Luke 2:49-51

This is not just another end-of-the-month post.

It is also an end-of-the-year post, which makes it very significant.

But more than that, I believe that this year, being one of the most difficult and challenging of all my 58 years, deserves a special mention in my life story.

Honestly, I am surprised at how much my heart has been able to carry.

This leads me to one obvious conclusion: it is my God, my Father, my Protector, my Deliverer, my Redeemer... my All-In-All... Who has built strength inside of me all these months.

When this year began 364 days ago, I had absolutely no idea as to how it would end. All I knew was that it was going to be a year of promotion for me. But God chose not to reveal the exact details of how this promotion was going to happen.

In just a few minutes the sun will set... it will be the last sunset for the year 2011.

Then the countdown for the new year will begin. And the world will rise to a new dawn tomorrow, the very first sunrise for 2012.

As this year ends, I find myself facing very different circumstances. Somehow, I realize that this is true not only for me, but for my family and a number of my friends as well.

My daughter-in-law God-given is watching her own father go through what they call "active dying." Diagnosed in early October to be in the terminal stages of lung cancer, he has experienced a steady decline in his health. I know my dear God-given will celebrate New Year's eve with our family tonight with a heavy heart. Surely my First Born son wants to be there for his wife, but how does one prepare or receive equipping for this? Painful situations can take us by surprise!

I really wish to be a strong shoulder for God-given to lean on, offer an understanding heart for her to draw comfort from... but I realize how inadequate I am for such a deep need. Yes, I might be able to offer her some support, but after all is said and done, only God can be a Strong Tower for her at this difficult time.

At this writing, my second born son, Worshiper, his wife Chosen One, and their baby Elijah, are in a crowded airport in Manila about to board their flight back to our city, so they can be home with us for New Year's Eve. They will arrive tired, and travel weary.

My last born and only daughter, Obedient One, is still out with high school friends. They hardly see one another, ever since Obedient began living and working in Manila five years ago. Living separate lives, yet still united in their hearts by a beautiful friendship, Obedient and her friends are entitled to this bonding time, nurturing a relationship that will grow more mature as the years go by.

God-given is in the adjoining house, in her kitchen, preparing a special dish with a sad heart. First-Born is on his way to the airport to pick up his brother and family who will be arriving in a few minutes.

And so I was alone this afternoon, putting the finishing touches to our special New Year's Eve dinner, our last one for this year.

How different everything is this time!

In years past, I would be assisted by two or three maids in preparing this meal, with my husband Ernie rushing in and out of the house for last minute errands... getting the wine... picking up the pecan pie... or watching a video with the children to keep them quiet.

Then we would get ready to have a traditional family dinner with Ernie's extended family at Vito and Sue's home, to literally welcome the New Year with a bang.

But my nieces and nephews have all married and now have families of their own. The past couple of years, we have not had the usual New Year's Eve extended family dinner.

In a way it seems more meaningful to quietly say goodbye to the year that is ending...

When Worshiper and his family arrives, we will all sit down as a family to thank the Lord for His goodness...

My one and only sister is in Manila. Celebrating the holidays alone, away from her loved ones...

How I wish we could be together at this special season. But circumstances get in the way. And it just is not possible.

And now the table is set. And the soft music from Steve Green's Christmas album is playing in the background. A candle is lit. And my heart is overflowing with love as I lift up each and every member of my family to God.

Be their vision for the new year, dear Father. Even as the sun sets for the last time this year, give them a heart of thanksgiving and hope, as they look back to the past year, and acknowledge that You have been faithful... You have been more than enough.

I remember some of my friends as well:

For Miriam as she carries the hope in her heart for the complete recovery of her husband who had a massive heart attack in October.

For Melanie as she celebrates Christmas and New Year alone while her husband works on an important project halfway around the globe.

For Pat as she faces the uncertainty of the many changes she is experiencing within herself and with that of her family.

For Matt and Amy needing comfort as they grieve the recent loss of their mom Judith.

For other dear friends on blogland facing their own share of personal or family health issues - Elaine, Bellann, Felisol, Saija, Linda, Dee...

It has not been an easy year for me, but as it ends, there are no regrets. And I appreciate these few quiet moments for me to look back.

I find myself thinking these thoughts:

A year of "promotion"? So this is how promotion looks like!


Please do not misunderstand. I am not being sarcastic. I am simply trying to say that looking for that promised promotion required of me to look deeper within, beyond my physical circumstances.

It requires of me to evaluate the events of my past year with righteous judgment, so that I do not fall into the trap of jumping to the wrong conclusions about what people have done, or have failed to do, and what have taken place within the past twelve months of 2011 as a result of things that were clearly beyond my control.

When it seemed that God had cut off my mooring points and felt like I was drifting off to uncharted waters, it was necessary to remind myself that I was in a safe place. In the midst of the darkness, I was not going to lose my way.

Yes, it was easy to react in fear and worry and offense over the uncertainties I faced during the last three quarters of this year. And initially, I did.

But eventually, I learned how to tap into the unlimited resources of heaven available to me... to combat anxiety by choosing to let my case rest in God's hands. I was given grace to respond in faith, obedience, and worship.

Trusting God for the unknowns. Believing He keeps my own heart very close to His.

I started the year with a lot of walking. (January)

And yielding. (February)

And experiencing so much unspeakable and indescribable beauty. (March)

I started the year with Joshua, and through the pages of this man's journey, I saw parallels in my own walk of faith.

In graphic terms I understood what it means to be a sojourner, and that as one, I was being called by God to contend for my faith. (April)

Teaching me first hand what it means to stretch out my javelin of spiritual authority over my family and life circumstances. (May)

To be thankful. (June)

To redeem the time. (July)

That there is eternal value in looking at myself as a pilgrim on a sacred pilgrimage. (August)

I went through the land of Jezreel where God spoke this truth to me: Into the prepared ground of my heart, He sows good seed. God Will Sow. (September)

To believe that there is a coming Rehoboth, a spacious place, for me to stand. (October)

On the eleventh month, God gave me important lessons on becoming an overcomer. (November)


And now here I am standing at the threshold of another year. As the year 2011 ends... my deep desire is to be like Mary, the mother of Jesus. I am treasuring up... I am pondering... all these things in my heart.

This is my name for the month of December - Treasuring... Pondering.

One morning, while I was in Manila earlier this month, the sun shone brightly and God surprised me with these words: How does it feel to be out of a dark prison?

His words caught me by surprise because I didn't realize it, but it was true.

I was out... I was free.

There was a new road ahead of me.

For all that this year has been, there is a road of freedom opening up before me!

There's more on my heart - words waiting to be spoken, or written.

But for now let these few parting thoughts suffice:

I am treasuring up 2011 in my heart.

I am pondering on the beautiful opportunities I have been entrusted with -- to grow and become mature, to honor God with my words, my attitudes, and my choices.

More often than not, in sharing my story, I tend to use many words.

But Mary had a quiet heart. She was a woman of few words. She treasured up... she pondered. As I pay tribute to 2011, acknowledging what God has done, I will do the same.



Thank you, Lord, for enlarging my heart this year. You have made my heart large enough, and strong enough, for the many things You have taught me.

Thank you for everything that this year has brought into my life.

Thank You for the promotion! Indeed this year that is about to end is a preparation for better things ahead - for me, and for my loved ones.

As the year ends, these words of Scripture from Haggai 2:6-9 fill my heart with hope:

“This is what the LORD Almighty says:
‘In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth,
the sea and the dry land.
I will shake all nations,
and what is desired by all nations will come,
and I will fill this house with glory,’ says the LORD Almighty.
‘The silver is mine and the gold is mine,’ declares the LORD Almighty.
‘The glory of this present house
will be greater than the glory of the former house,’ says the LORD Almighty.
‘And in this place I will grant peace,’ declares the LORD Almighty.”

Be It Unto Me...

photo source

And Mary said,
"Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word."

-Luke 1:38

And Mary said:

“My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.

From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.

His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.

He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.

He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.

He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.

He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
just as he promised our ancestors.”

- Luke 1:47-55

What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived—
these things God has prepared for those who love him.

- 1 Corinthians 2:9

This has been a different kind of Christmas for me. Very different.

When I got back from Iloilo City on December 20, my son Worshiper, his wife Chosen One and their baby Elijah had already left for Manila to spend Christmas with Chosen One's mom.

As some of you know, Worshiper and his family and I live together in one home. With them away, it was really quiet around here.

I realized that I was all alone...


Five days before Christmas... most pre-Christmas parties had already taken place and the Christmas countdown has begun. During the holiday season, everything around here stops... to make room for the Christmas celebration. Only the shops, the supermarkets, and the thoroughfares are bustling with activity... and within the four walls of most homes, families are busy with the gift wrapping and all the cooking.

There were no Bible studies for me to give, no teaching sessions to prepare for, no healing seminars to coordinate...

So I busied myself with attending to my garden... cutting the grass... pruning the bushes.

On Thursday, three days before Christmas, I went to the supermarket and bought foodstuff to fill the pantry and the refrigerator...

and looked forward to being with my only daughter Obedient One who finally arrived on the dawn flight, one day before Christmas.

The real Christmas celebration here happens on the 24th of December, Christmas Eve. It has been the tradition in Ernie's family to spend Christmas Eve together at his sister Sue's home. And although Ernie and his parents have already gone home to heaven, we have continued with this yearly event.

This year, my son Worshiper and his family spent Christmas in Manila, and First Born son and his family spent Christmas Eve with his wife Chosen One's folks.

It was therefore only Obedient One and I who went to our Christmas Eve family celebration.

In years past there would be a lot of laughter...teasing... noisy young children running around...


We find ourselves at a different season... a different kind of family Christmas... more quiet... more subdued...

As I sat there... posing for the family pictures, it felt like a sacred moment for me. Nothing was expected of me... and neither did I expect anything of the others - I was loved, and accepted... and I loved them in return.

We are a family that have weathered many storms individually, and corporately.

Deep issues of the heart are not openly talked about... private things are kept to oneself... but there is communion... yes, there is quiet acceptance... there is love.

As we stood around the buffet table, beautifully prepared by Sue... with her personal touch of elegance and grace ... she prayed this Christmas thanksgiving prayer:

Thank You Father, for the meaning of Christmas... that we are able to celebrate it as a family... thank You for how You have brought us through the past year... thank You for having remained faithful... thank You for the memory of Ernie... for giving him to me as a brother... he has truly blessed my life... Thank You... only thank You... always thank You.

Then we all sat at the dinner table to partake of our Christmas Eve meal as a family.


As I write these words, it's the morning after Christmas... a rainy and windy morning.

It was still quite dark when I awoke... and this verse was already resonating in my heart:

I meditate on You in the night watches...

It felt good to be talking to my heavenly Father at that early hour, even while I was still hugging my pillow and snuggled under my blanket on a chilly morning. I love you, my Father... Thank you for You are completely trustworthy... You are my hope... You are my Strong Tower...

Om this cool December morning, this heart of mine wants to recommit my life to God my Maker.

The words of the beautiful Christmas message spoken by Butch at church yesterday still resonate in my heart:

It's understandable when little children fear the dark... but what a tragedy when grown men fear the light!

God wants us to come out of hiding... and into the light!

God wants us healed... He wants us alive!

Christmas is the time:

to release our fears...

to renew our faith...

to receive, and release forgiveness...

to rebuild relationships.

A better and more timely word could not have been spoken. Yes... as the year comes to a close, steps of obedience will be taken ... small steps in the right direction.

I will learn to put my fears behind me... and like Mary say to God, "Behold I am Your maidservant, be it unto me according to Your word."

Whatever weight or burden I have been carrying, today I turn it over to the One Who is able to do something about it.

This morning I am turning it all over to Jesus my Savior.

My Yeshua Ha'Mashiach.

I put on the garment of praise, and shed off the spirit of heaviness.

I receive the anointing of the oil of joy...

I put on the crown of beauty...

And I decree, declare, proclaim that the promises of the Lord for restoration, provision, and redemption are mine in the coming year!

Indeed, I decree today that I will live in the realm of the supernatural!

Thank You my Father, for a different kind of Christmas... and for speaking to my heart once again.

Our church was packed for the Christmas Eve worship service

This song brought tears to my eyes as we partook of the Lord's Supper

Obedient One and God Given, at our church grounds after the worship service

First Born, God given and their son Forerunner, posing at their Aunt Sue's Christmas tree

Some of Sue's Christmas angels

There's another angel at the top of this tree!

Dinner table all set for our Christmas Eve family meal

Ernie's two sisters, Sue and Leila

me, with Ernie's sisters

Leila with husband Jay

Christmas dessert

rib eye steak, homemade ham, buttered corn, brown rice, potato salad, seafood chowder

the Christmas candles are lit

22 karat gold - edged dinner plates!

gold-rimmed glass

gold plated spoons and forks

Sue's eldest son, Vince, and wife Rhea

Sue's daughter Tisha and husband Jeff

champagne!

Clockwise: Vince (standing), his wife Rhea, Obedient One, Jeff, Tisha, Sue, Vito, Jay, Leila, and me

Obedient One and me, Christmas 2011

another photo of me with my two sisters in law

Standing: (L - R) Vince, Joash, Rhea, Hanna, Jay, Obedient One
Sitting: (L-R) Jeff, Tisha, Vito and Sue, Leila, me with Toby
On the floor : Caleb and Justin



Back in my home, here are a few shots of my Christmas tree:

E is for my beloved Ernie... Christmas was such a special time for him!

Two new ornaments at my tree this year:
special gifts from a dear blog friend, Trish

A Christmas cross

a special Christmas ball

my very own special tree... each ornament has a story to tell!


A lovely quote copied from Saija's blog:

Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us,
that something... so intangible that it is like a fragrance.
It may weave a spell of nostalgia.
Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer,
but always it will be a day of remembrance -
a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.

~Augusta E. Rundel