Defender

My 65th Birthday

Today, Father I rededicate my life to You and fully acknowledge that You are my:

Creator

Redeemer

Sustainer

Provider

Purpose

Protector

King

Lord.

This day I remember You are my Defender.

You establish my boundaries.

Your covenant of peace will never depart from me.

No weapon forged against me will prosper.

I love You my Father, and I want this year to be a year of worship.

Holy Spirit, thank You for Your wisdom!

Jesus, thank You for the salvation You bought for me with Your own blood! You have not only redeemed me once, the redemption You do is ongoing, as You redeem me from my wrong choices, and re-align my faulty perspective to Your perfect vision. 

I dedicate this my 65th year to You - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

I receive a fresh revelation of Your everlasting love.

You have brought me this far, to You I raise my Ebenezer, my stone of help.

Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen,

and called its name Ebenezer, saying, 

"Thus far the Lord has helped us."

1 Samuel 7:12

image source

Truly my soul silently waits for God;

From Him comes my salvation.

He only is my rock and my salvation;

He is my defense;

I shall not be greatly moved.

Psalm 62:1-2

A birthday prayer: Father, You have created me for one purpose, and that is to give You glory and joy in all the things I think, speak, and do. That is not always possible, given my limited perspective and human frailty. Indeed, I am far from being a perfect daughter, and I know You do not expect me to be one. But You do see my heart, how I desire for it to be Your habitation, Your dwelling place. So here I am on my 65th birthday, offering my heart to You. Shape it, mold it, use it for Your glory. Thus far You have been my help, and for all that and so much more, I give You my thanks and my worship. My life belongs to You alone.

P.S. Late post. So thankful for family and friends who make me feel so loved and appreciated!

A few photos of my 65th birthday celebration with friends and family (April 1, 2018 - Resurrection Sunday!)

A belated birthday lunch with my Family Foundations International-Philasia (FFI)  family (April 3, 2018)

A birthday breakfast with sister in law, niece, and grandson (March 27, 2018)

Celebrating First Born son and God-given's 10th wedding anniversary together with my 65th birthday, buffet lunch at Viking's (March 27, 2018):

My 60th birthday - Abiding: The Anatomy of a Birthday

My 64th birthday - The Writing of a Story, the Making of a Life

The Language of Trust

Only One Leper Returns to Say "Thank You."

image source

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back,
praising God in a loud voice. 

He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him
— and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus asked, “Were not all 10 cleansed? Where are the other nine? 

Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?”

Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”

- Luke 17:15-19

The past year's ending note for me is the same one on which I begin this new year.

It's all about gratitude and worship. It bears repeating on this welcome post for 2018, and I quote:

Pastor Joe spoke to us about the importance of gratitude, because it is gratitude that produces worship. Luke in Chapter 17:11-19 writes about the ten lepers who were healed, but only one saw the need to go back to Jesus Christ and thank Him for the healing. We may not be leprous physically, but we all are spiritual lepers on our way to eternal damnation. We are all in desperate need of His healing touch. If we but recognize the magnitude and the depth of what we have been healed from, the spiritual decay, the rottenness, and slow but certain death, then we would waste no time bowing before Jesus and thanking Him for healing us. (An excerpt from my December 31, 2017 blog post, Hiddenness and Manifestation)

What produces gratitude?

A true awareness of our utter depravity apart from God... that I believe is what brings us to our knees before Him.

It is indeed a timely message for me.

I am standing at the doorway of a new season. A whole new adventure awaits. And on this rainy new year morning, I want to start the day, the month, and the year with GRATITUDE and WORSHIP, my two words for this new year.

For a life to be truly meaningful, gratitude and worship have to be given a major role.

But it doesn't come easy or naturally. They are heart responses that take time to cultivate. Like delicate seeds they have to be nurtured and watered. When full grown, gratitude and worship produce many fruits that bring life to any situation.

Gratitude is the language of trust.

Worship is acknowledging my complete dependence on a higher power, the supreme being who is none other than God, the One who created everything and sits sovereign on the throne, and giving Him the glory He alone deserves.

I am thankful to God for the lessons learned in 2017 that serves as the bow that propels me into God's purposes and intentions for me this year. There is a sense of quiet excitement and eager anticipation for what lies ahead. The painful and fearful circumstances of 2016 and 2017 are all heart preparation for me this year. It is the third year from 2016 when I first became aware that I was entering into a battle that was not of my choosing.

Something new is going to be revealed to me. Each day will be a worship experience for me.

I expect 2018 to be a year of recovering all that the enemy has stolen.

This is my year of recovery, payback, and restoration.

Thank You, Abba, for new beginnings.

For He says, "In the time of My favor I heard you,

and in the day of salvation I helped you."

I tell you, now is the time of God's favor,

now is the day of salvation.

2 Corinthians 6:2

Abba, I never, ever want to take Your goodness for granted. I never want to reach the end of the day without acknowledging Your protection and provision.

Let me be like that one leper, who upon seeing he had been healed, turned back to thank Jesus and worship Him. 

Lord use my life as it pleases You, let it be a pleasing aroma before Your throne.

Hiddenness and Manifestation

"Just Before Sunrise"
Zuluk, India

image source

Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

If I take the wings of the morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

Even there Your hand shall lead me,

And Your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”

Even the night shall be light about me;

Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,

But the night shines as the day;

The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

- Psalm 139:7-12

For He says, "In the time of my favor I heard you,

and in the day of salvation I helped you."

I tell you, now is the time of God's favor,

now is the day of salvation.

- 2 Corinthians 6:2

Christmas this year was like a slow train coming.

I was in Manila in October, and even then, I had already started buying Christmas presents. In November, I made several trips to the mall to buy more gifts. After my daughter Obedient One arrived from Manila on December 8, she and I bought still more gifts for family members.

Then there were the parties and get-togethers, all in the name of Christmas fun.

Obedient One and I finally finished decorating the Christmas tree on December 23, two days before Christmas Day!

The presents have been wrapped and given away... the gifts we received have all been unwrapped... my dear daughter returned to Manila the day after Christmas... and for several days, all I ate was leftover Christmas food to clear up the fridge.

And suddenly, just like that, Christmas 2017 is over.

Now the last day of the year is here. In just a few hours, we will be welcoming the new year.

Twelve months have gone by so fast! 

Chronologically speaking, I am a year older. 

I am also three hundred sixty five days wiser. 

And there are fifty-two weeks worth of spiritual lessons and personal experiences tucked within my heart.

As the month of December and the year 2017 are about to end, I am writing this blog post to sum up what the past weeks and months have taught me.

There are several truths about God that I understood more clearly this year.

One of them is about the two ways that He moves. For many months, I have been drawing close to God, seeking to align my heart responses to that of His. I have shared in my earlier posts about the inner struggle of faith that I went through in 2016. Generally speaking, I don't think I received any direct response from God. I would pray and seek His face, then from the Bible passages that "spoke" to me I would assume that God was indeed "speaking" to me.

After a while, I realized that I wasn't really sure that was God. It could very well have been just wishful thinking on my part to say that I was hearing from Him. The Bible verses would soothe me, and bring a measure of comfort and confirmation, but to say that I was a hundred per cent certain that God was speaking to me could be mere presumption.

In short, for the most part, I felt God was hidden from me.

I wanted the nearness of His presence, the certainty of specific answers to prayer. But really, there was only waiting, and more waiting, on my part.

Then a few months ago, while reading Graham Cooke's book Prophetic Wisdom, I came across a portion entitled Hiddenness and Manifestation. As I read, everything suddenly fell into place for me.

Here's an excerpt:

A key part of God's nature is the fact that He moves in two ways: hiddenness and manifestation. When we come to terms with this truth, we are set free spiritually to ebb and flow with what God is doing. There are times when God reveals Himself to us and times when He hides. I love it when God is right in my face, speaking into everything He can. But for every time of manifestation, there is a season of hiddenness, where God seems to move away from us. When God hides from us, He is trying to draw us into His presence. Manifestation takes place in our reality; hiddenness happens in His. Hiddenness draws us into a new place in the Spirit.... God is constantly with us, whether we realize it or not. Sometimes He jumps out at us because He cannot wait to show Himself to us, and at other times He hides, drawing us further into Him.

When I understood that I was in a season of God's hiddenness, my inner struggles ceased. God Himself promises in Hebrews 13:5 that He will never leave us nor forsake us. And also, that God desires for His children to learn to walk by faith, and not by sight.

In 1 Corinthians 2:7, Paul talks about the hidden wisdom of God: But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory. Thus, meditating on those words, and other similar passages, I understood that the season of God's hiddenness was essential to the maturing and the nurturing of my faith and wisdom.

Graham Cooke writes, "The simplest way to explain it is to say that manifestation is a time of blessing, hiddenness is a time of building. God desires to bring us through seasons of hiddenness because He wants us to learn the discipline of walking by the Spirit."

Real wisdom is hidden from us until God reveals it to us. He often chooses to do that in the place of hiddenness. Hiddenness is God’s training ground. (Cooke)

David the psalmist understood that hiddenness and wisdom go together. He writes this in Psalm 51:6, “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom” (Psalm 51:6).

And so having understood the season I am in, I went on with my life, secure in knowing that God holds my times and seasons in His hands.

The months of November and December was loaded with opportunities. With me doing full time work as housekeeper, laundry woman, gardener, and pet caretaker all rolled up into one, not to mention my commitment to Family Foundations International as part of the ministry team, and being mentor-teacher of one of the women's groups in our church, there really is no day that nothing is happening.

In November, my dear friend Grace arrived from the United States with the cremains of her husband Max who died unexpectedly while they were on vacation. That was an emotional time for me and my family as we traveled all the way to Kabankalan to attend the memorial service.

Also in November, I coordinated an Ancient Paths seminar for a small group of teachers from Trinity School. Then on the last week, I was part of the training team for the School of Ministry for Facilitators.

Last weekend of November, I conducted a two-day retreat for the Women of Purpose of our church.

On the first two days of December, I coordinated another Ancient Paths seminar for a group of nine.

To join the Father in what He is doing and be part of a ministry that helps set people free from erroneous mindsets about their identity and destiny truly boosts my faith and refills my spiritual tank. At the same time, however, it requires discipline and wise management of time, because on ministry days, I need to wake up before dawn to give me enough time to finish my chores by 8 a.m.

The busyness of November spilled over into December as the new month began.

Make it a December to remember. This was the welcome post I wrote on my Facebook timeline on the first of this month.

And indeed, it is a December to remember.

Somewhere along the full schedule of each day, I neglected my usual time with God. Prayer time was short and perfunctory, very much on my mind was the list of things I needed to do.

Then I developed a cough that wouldn't go away. It wasn't nasty, just stubborn. After two weeks, I realized I needed to seek medical attention for it, before it worsened.

I also realized that I was short on funds, and much as I hated the thought, I would have to dip into my savings again.

One stormy evening, upon arriving from an out of town trip, I noticed that the lights in my home would flicker from time to time. I didn't pay any more attention to that until my daughter noticed one rainy night that the service entrance connections were emitting sparks. I made a mental note to get an electrician to check the cables.

Each night before going to sleep, I would thank God for helping me through the day, and thank Him for His protection for the night. Each morning upon waking up, I would remind myself that I am a daughter of the King, and ask God in advance for wisdom to do things right for that day.

Quick prayers... but not staying long to hear God's answers. I was, after all, in a season of hiddenness. I wasn't expecting any manifestation at that point.

Then money started coming in from unexpected sources. I realized God was meeting my need for funds. Up to today, the last day of the year, there is still more than enough for all the expenses that this Christmas season entailed.

I wanted to get an appointment with the pulmonologist on December 20 to seek advice regarding my cough, but her receptionist said the doctor could see me only on December 22. Because I really wanted to see a doctor, I went to another doctor, an upper respiratory specialist who listened to my lungs and diagnosed my condition as acute bronchitis, and prescribed medication for me.

That night, for the first time in weeks, I was kept awake by non-stop coughing. There could have been something in the medication I was given that triggered the coughing bouts.

I was content to finish the course of treatment from this doctor, howbeit at lunchtime of Friday, December 22, the receptionist called to remind me of my appointment with the pulmonologist. It was nearly 1 p.m. when she called and I was reluctant to go, but a voice in my heart told me it was important for me to keep my appointment.

So I went.

To make a long story short, Dr. Locson said I needed to have a chest x-ray taken to confirm her suspicions. She also instructed me to stop taking all the medications prescribed by the other doctor, and gave me a new prescription. I had an x-ray taken, bought the medicines, and went home just in time for my daughter and me to be at Vikings for a Christmas party that we were attending that evening.

After taking the initial cough medication, I slept like a log until morning. I had peace that God's hand of healing was on me, even though part of the x-ray results read, "beginning or resolving pneumonia." On December 28, seven days after my initial check-up with Dr. Locson, she declared my lungs clear. And my cough was all gone as well.

Again, I was on my knees thanking God for the manifestation of His timely healing and care.

You did that for me, Lord, didn't You? You wanted to show me You care, and that You love me!

I couldn't stop thanking Him.

On Thursday night, December 28, it started raining again. There was a tropical depression on its way to this part of our islands. I was awakened early Friday morning by the smell of burnt rubber. I knew immediately that it had something to do with the service entrance cables. I prayed to God for protection, and for the provision of a reliable electrician. At that early hour, 5 a.m., I texted my sister in law and asked her if she could send her electrician over to my house that morning. Sue replied that she will check the electrician's schedule for that day.

By 6 a.m. the rain stopped, and the sun was shining. The electrician arrived at midday and confirmed that the service entrance connections were all corroded and needed to be repaired. It didn't take him one hour to repair the connection. That evening, the rains started to pour again. It's been raining off and on since Friday night until now. If the sun had not shone on Friday, it would have been difficult for the electrician to troubleshoot the problem. The smoky smell has since dissipated, and my lights are not flickering anymore.

Again, I realize that God was manifesting His care and protection for me! I am not surprised that God would do this for me, but I am amazed at the timeliness of His response.

In church this morning, Pastor Joe spoke to us about the importance of gratitude, because it is gratitude that produces worship. Luke in Chapter 17:11-19 writes about the ten lepers who were healed, but only one saw the need to go back to Jesus Christ and thank Him for the healing.

What produces gratitude? Pastor Joe pointed out that we may not be leprous physically, but we all are spiritual lepers on our way to eternal damnation. We are all in desperate need of His healing touch. If we but recognize the magnitude and the depth of what we have been healed from, the spiritual decay, the rottenness, and slow but certain death, then we would waste no time bowing before Jesus and thanking Him for healing us.

It is a timely message for me, especially because of what God has done for me this month of December.

My heart is indeed overflowing with gratitude for the specific ways in which God met my need: for financial provision, for healing from pneumonia before it could take its toll on me physically, for saving my home from what could have been a disastrous electrical fire. And many other little miracles that have simply gone unnoticed.

I will never forget the message of the Bible lesson that Lyndon gave us on December 4, the first lesson for this month. He said that God is the God of the times and the seasons; even God Himself respects and submits to the principle of right timing.

The prophet Habakkuk asks for the time when answers will come, but God simply tells him to wait for the right time.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time;

But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.

Though it tarries, wait for it;

Because it will surely come,

It will not tarry.

-Habakkuk 2:3

God operates on the principle of kairos, or opportune time. He waits for the fullness of time before acting. In the meantime, the waiting is not in vain. The waiting, or the time of hiddenness, is ground or heart preparation for what He will do.

And there is no question about it. God is a good God. So even while we are waiting for His answers to come, He is already good. His love endures forever. He is faithful to His promises. He is not forsaking us when He is  hidden, He is simply waiting for something to happen in our hearts that will benefit us, not harm us.

This is the second truth about God that sums up the month of December, and the year 2017, for me: After all has been said and done, in the end, one thing is sure, the time of God's favor is always NOW.

Paul writes in his letter to the Corinthians:

For He says,

“In the time of my favor I heard you,

and in the day of salvation I helped you.”

I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.

- 2 Corinthians 6:2

I thank God for the times of hiddenness, when He has given me first hand lessons in understanding the deep things of His heart. And I thank God for the unexpected times of manifestation, when He has shown me first hand what His love, His care, His provision, and His protection is all about.

One of my favorite passages in Scripture is found in Jeremiah 32:40, where God says, 

I will make an everlasting covenant with them: 

I will never stop doing good to them, 

and I will inspire them to fear me, 

so that they will never turn away from me.

On that note I will end. This is indeed a December to remember. And this has been a very good year.

Before the year 2017 says good-bye, Abba Father is reminding me to relate to Him by revelation, not by reason, from my spirit, and not from my intellect. He purposely revealed His heart to me in a language I understood.

What a beautiful way to end the year! How it revives me, and fills my heart with hope for better things to come in 2018!

My heart overflows with gratitude. 

Indeed I can never thank God enough for everything He has done for me.

This is my song, my story.

Heart Renovation

Fall of 2013

Virginia, USA

I like spring, but it is too young; 

I like summer, but it is too proud. 

So I like best of all autumn, 

because its tone is mellower, 

its colours are richer, 

and it is tinged with a little sorrow. 

Its golden richness speaks not of the innocence of spring, 

nor the power of summer, 

but of the mellowness and kindly wisdom of approaching age. 

It knows the limitations of life and its content.

- Lin Yutan

Do not let your adornment be merely outward

—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—

 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, 

with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, 

which is very precious in the sight of God.

- 1 Peter 3:3, 4

Blessed is the one who finds wisdom,

and the one who gets understanding...

Long life is in her right hand;

in her left hand are riches and honor.

Her ways are ways of pleasantness,

and all her paths are peace.

She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her;

those who hold her fast are called blessed.

- Proverbs 3:13, 16-18

Finding Beauty in Unexpected Places

The Philippines is a very beautiful country. An archipelago of more than 7,000 islands, there are coastlines of white sandy beaches, hidden inland seas, pristine mountain forests, and verdant valleys planted to rice, sugarcane, and corn.

There are awesome sunrise and sunset views.

Powerful sceneries that depict an uncomplicated pastoral Filipino life, serenity, and simplicity, that would bring healing for one's fragmented and distracted soul.

But of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

And in this country, beauty pretty much depends on where you are looking. 

For our cities are overpopulated, polluted by environmental waste, noisy, fast-paced, and impersonal. In most of our urban centers like Metro Manila, Cebu City, and Davao City, the traffic in most throughfares is incredible, if not downright unbearable.

Large gated subdivisions where the rich and the famous live boast of manicured loans and well-kept estates. They are walled in, somewhat like fortresses, and the gates are manned by armed guards.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is where the urban poor call their home: the shanties constructed of flimsy materials like rusted tin sheets, discarded rubber tires, cardboard, tarpaulin, and throwaway plywood scavenged from the garbage dumps.

Or worse, the sidewalks in our cities where the homeless live, sleeping on filthy blankets, hugging their meager belongings packed in a tiny wooden cart or cardboard box.

Then there's the rest of us, people like me who belong to the wide middle portion of our society's financial continuum. Most of us live in what we call the non-gated communities, open subdivisions accessible to everyone, including vendors and stray dogs.

I try to keep my surroundings clean. Around my home is a well-tended garden of greens, shrubs, and flowering plants. But what goes on beyond that is very much beyond my control. 

A few months ago, the house in front of mine was rebuilt, and sadly, all the leftover debris from the demolition of their old home, plus the leftover sand, gravel, and hollow blocks, are still piled up outside their premises, and it is right across my front gate. It is an eyesore, but there is nothing I can do about it, unless I want to take charge of clearing it up myself.

Across the corner of my house are two neighborhood eateries selling brewed coffee, steamed rice, beef broth and noodles, vegetable stew, and other home-cooked food. These are frequented by tri-cycle drivers for an inexpensive meal, but the noise of their motor bikes, as well as their loud chatter and boisterous laughter, inevitably mix with the soft music and the peace and quiet of my home.

If I am looking for beauty beyond my little garden, I am in for a disappointment.

But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And believe it or not, I have learned to see the hidden beauty and deeper meaning behind what my physical eyes tell me. 

Letting Beauty Nourish the Heart

The same is true of the human heart. Except that the heart is more complex, and far more difficult to navigate.

How effectively the enemy of our souls has devastated the beautiful creation of God, and reduced it to a heap of worthless trash...of pride, unrighteous judgment, self-focus... fit for nothing but the eternal fires of hell.

Were it not for the grace and redemptive hand of God.

To survive this rat race existence while we are serving our time here on earth, there are things our inner lives need to feed on, like solitude, meditation, joy, worship, servanthood, music, prayer, to name just a few.

At the center of this list is beauty.

Beauty has such a deep healing effect on the human spirit.

And I believe that where no physical beauty can be seen, God has equipped us to perceive inner beauty in the ugliness around us.

Beautiful Autumn, Beauty for Ashes

This is one reason I love the season of autumn. Although I live in a country where the only two seasons we experience are the rainy and the dry (and the in-between cool and misty months), my heart understands what fall represents.

Fall prepares the land for renovation... where the old is shed off, to make room for the new.

November 2013

Virginia, USA

A few days ago during the getting-to-know-you small group session at an Ancient Paths seminar, I asked the participants this question: what is the name of the season you are in right now?

Being the facilitator, I was the first to give an answer. After waiting a few moments to look at the external circumstances of my life and the inner landscape of my heart the past three or four months, I heard this soft voice in my heart saying, You are in a heart renovation season.

That actually caught me by surprise. I had been thinking that I was in a season of waiting, or a season of seeking answers, or even a season of healing and acceleration... 

But when the word "heart renovation" was dropped into my soul, I understood immediately what it meant.

This past year I have seen my heart grieve over a beautiful relationship that I thought had died. Yes, I had prayed much about it, done a few things in hopes of restoring it, and eventually gave up trying, pushing the unresolved issue to a corner in my heart.

Once in a while, however, the hurt would resurface, and I would find myself rehearsing a litany of what had gone wrong and what should have beens.

When I returned to Bacolod end of October, after being away for nearly a month, I needed to pick up where I left off, as far as my home and family relationships were concerned.

I dived right into it, so to speak.

On the very day I arrived, I had dinner with second born son and his family, and enjoyed the grandsons I had missed so much. (First born son and his family had a previous engagement and couldn't join us.)

On November 1, our extended family gathered at the memorial park for the yearly event of visiting the graves of loved ones who had left this earth ahead of us. We had a big breakfast at the park, followed by a family lunch at the home of Manong Boy and Inday Sue (Ernie's sister and her husband).  

November 2 was Ernie's birthday, and our family celebrated that as well.

November 5 is Worshiper's (second son) birthday, and our family gathered for another celebration.

November 13 is the birthday of second grandson, Full of Hope. We celebrated that, too.

In between all these family events were dinners, lunch get-togethers, and friends' birthday celebrations. The month is nearly over, but there are still several events to look forward to, like Ernie's ninth death anniversary tomorrow, November 23,  and Thanksgiving, Filipino style, next week.

There were many things to attend to. The garden needed pruning and the house, a general cleaning. I had to deal with tick infestation in my dogs. Replenish my fridge and pantry. Shop for the Christmas gift giving season. Pray for an ongoing legal battle. Prepare for a women's retreat I will be conducting.

The relationship I mentioned earlier was the least of my concerns and farthest from my mind.

Yet, in the midst of all these external events, I sensed God speak gently to me during that small group session a week ago, I am renovating your heart.

And the first place I looked was that corner in my heart where I hid the pain. 

It was no longer there.

Instead, what I saw was forgiveness, understanding, acceptance, and compassion. Not in bold capital letters... but gently and quietly smiling at me from the corner of my heart.

I could never have done it myself.

I saw beauty where there used to be an ash heap of shattered emotions... a shoot growing from the stump of an old tree.

I saw hope.

And this is just one area that God is rebuilding. But it speaks volumes, really. 

I am thankful for the autumn seasons of my life. When the old is discarded, using the beautiful words of Elisabeth Elliott from her book A Path Through Suffering  that I read twenty plus years ago, "even the fair petals must fall."

Yes, in autumn, even the fair petals must fall.

This is to make room for the new thing that God is doing in our lives.

There is beauty beyond what our physical eyes can see.

With fall comes the promise of spring.

I am more than grateful for the promise of heart renovation.

This is the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes. 

- Psalm 118:23

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert.

- Psalm 43:19

Hope springs eternal...

Beauty for Ashes
(by Mid-Cities Worship)

No longer sin, no longer afraid
You have washed me, white as snow
No longer bound, now I am crowned
Once in darkness, now I know
You save, You save

And You give me, beauty for ashes
And You pull me, close to Your heart
You have turned my, mourning to dancing
That's what You do, that's who You are

Brand new eyes, brand new hands
You have wiped away my past
Brand new day, brand new life
You have pulled me from the lies
You save, You save

And You give me, beauty for ashes
And You pull me, close to Your heart
You have turned my, mourning to dancing
That's what You do, that's who You are

I'm no longer, what I used to be
I am stronger, because You live in me
The old is gone, the new has come
I'm alive!

And You give me, beauty for ashes
And You pull me, close to Your heart
You have turned my, mourning to dancing
That's what You do, that's who You are...

Finding Peace in Obscurity

image source

The Word became flesh and tabernacled among us . 
- John 1:14

With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.

- Isaiah 12:3

...the people who know their God shall be strong, 
and carry out great exploits.

- Daniel 11:32

...the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking,

but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

- Romans 14:17

You must have something big to overcome 
so that you may grow bigger by what you defeat. 
Recognize the giant that is against you. 
Expect to be lifted up above the head of your enemy. 
The enemy exists to make you bigger.
- Graham Cooke

As the month of October comes to a close, I begin this post by writing about another Fall feast, a very beautiful one. This month we commemorated the seventh feast of the Lord, the Feast of Tabernacles, or Sukkot, which is celebrated for seven days, on the 15th to the 21st of Tishrei in the Hebrew calendar. On the Gregorian calendar, Sukkot this year began at sundown on October 4 and ended at sundown on October 11.

Unlike the two fall feasts that come before it, Sukkot is marked with festivity, gladness, and joy. Also referred to as the Feast of Ingathering, the feast comes after the harvest of the fall crops, and there is a spirit of thankfulness for the bountiful harvest God has provided. 

Sukkot is celebrated yearly as a reminder of the forty years that God cared for the Israelites in the wilderness after they left Egypt. They lived in tents, were miraculously given manna from heaven and water from rocks and springs. While in the desert, their clothes and sandals did not wear out, nor did any of them get sick. During this entire time, God was in their midst, in a pillar of cloud by day, and a pillar of fire by night.

The Hebrew word sukkot is the plural form of the singular sukkah which literally means "tabernacle," a temporary dwelling, like a booth or hut. At the start of this feast the Israelites built booths outside their homes and lived in them for seven days. In doing so, they remembered the time that God tabernacled with them in the wilderness.

God gives the Israelites specific instructions regarding this feast in Leviticus 23:33-44, part of which is quoted below:

Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to the children of Israel, saying: ‘The fifteenth day of this seventh month shall be the Feast of Tabernacles for seven days to the Lord... on the first day there shall be a sabbath-rest, and on the eighth day a sabbath-rest. And you shall take for yourselves on the first day the fruit of beautiful trees, branches of palm trees, the boughs of leafy trees, and willows of the brook; and you shall rejoice before the Lord your God for seven days. You shall keep it as a feast to the Lord for seven days in the year. It shall be a statute forever in your generations. You shall celebrate it in the seventh month. You shall dwell in booths for seven days. All who are native Israelites shall dwell in booths, that your generations may know that I made the children of Israel dwell in booths when I brought them out of the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.’”

Another Biblical reference to the celebration of Sukkot is found in Nehemiah 8:17:

And all the assembly of those who had returned from the captivity made booths and lived in the booths... And there was very great rejoicing.

Even in the face of the difficult task of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, while encountering hindrance and hostility from the enemy in their midst, the Israelites could greatly rejoice in their sukkot. These flimsy constructions caused them to rejoice as they remembered that, just as in the wilderness, the Presence of God was their strength. By His Word and command, the open, fragile sukkah becomes a refuge, a fortress protecting us from every enemy. (The Season of our Joy in First Fruits of Zion)


The main point of the celebration is the fact of God's presence in their midst, and in God's presence is fullness of joy!

David writes in Psalm 16:

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
- Psalm 16:11

Another name for this feast is The Season of our Joy; the week-long celebration is marked by eating, dancing, and singing. Aside from rejoicing in God's presence, there is thanksgiving for the provision of the fall harvest, and the promise of abundant rains for the planting season ahead.

The Israelites depended on agriculture for their daily existence, and adequate rain during the rainy season from November to March was needed to ensure a plentiful harvest. Thus an important part of the observance of this feast is the water-libation ceremony. Each morning of the feast, the high priest takes water from the Pool of Siloam and pours it into a special basin located in the inner court of the Temple. This is the visual prayer for rain, because there truly is a desperate need for rain in the land.

Below is a lovely prayer for rain that is recited on Shemini Atzeret, the day after the Feast of Tabernacles, which is also the official start of the rainy season in Israel.  The tone in the synagogue is a solemn one and the prayer voices the people's anxiety for seasonal rains:

May He send rain from the heavenly towers,
To soften the earth with its crystal showers.
You have named water the symbol of Your might,
All that breathe life in its drops to delight.
O’ revive those who praise Your powers of rain…

There follows six sections, each referring to the lives of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Aaron, and the Twelve Tribes, and their connection with water. As when Abraham was asked to offer Isaac’s blood “like water”; and when Jacob bravely rolled the stone off the “well of water”; when Moses was drawn in a reed basket “out of the Nile’s water” and when he struck the rock and “out came water”. Aaron, the High Priest, who, on the Day of Atonement, bathed “with sanctified water”; the twelve tribes whom G-d brought through the “divided waters of the Dead Sea” and “sweetened their bitter water” in the desert.

After these examples, we ask G-d to remember the merits of these worthy ancestors and remember the goodness granted them all, and for our sake, “not hold back water”. The end of the prayer is dramatic. The cantor calls out: “For You are G-d, who causes the wind to blow and the rain to fall. For a blessing and not for a curse-” and the congregation answers “Amen!” “For life, and not for death-” “Amen!” “For plenty, and not for scarcity-” “Amen!”  (Reflections on Prayer for Rain in Heartland, Christian Friends of Israeli Communities)

Abba Father knows exactly how thirsty the land and people of Israel are! It is significant that in John 7:37-39, Jesus points to Himself as the source of living water:

On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified.

The future prophetic fulfillment of the Feast of Tabernacles is the millennial kingdom where Jesus will reign in peace, righteousness, and joy. Satan will no longer be in the picture. Surely at that time there will be life-giving rains, more than enough water for everyone!

As I look back on the significant events of this month, a lot of thoughts come to mind.

I believe what many Bible scholars say, that Jesus was born, not on December 25 but on Tishrei 15, (September or October in the Gregorian calendar) the first day of the Feast of Tabernacles.

Sukkot is one of the three annual festival feasts when all male Jews were required to come to Jerusalem.  It was also the time when the temple tax had to be paid. Inns were full, and the spillover would reach the surrounding towns. This will explain why there were so many people in Bethlehem (only five miles away from Jerusalem) at the time that Mary and Joseph went there for the census. It is highly probable that the shed Jesus was born in was a sukkah, a hut or booth, constructed in celebration of this feast.

Since everything in the life of Jesus had prophetic implications, in the same way that His human body was a temporary container for His glory, it would also make so much sense for Him to be born in a "tabernacle," a temporary dwelling, as John wrote in John 1:14,

The Word became flesh and tabernacled among us.

In his Commentary of the Whole Bible, Matthew Henry writes: 

It is supposed by many that our blessed Saviour was born much about the time of this feast; then he left his mansions of light above to tabernacle among us (Jn. 1:14 ), and he dwelt in booths. And the worship of God under the New Testament is prophesied of under the notion of keeping the feast of tabernacles, Zec. 14:16 . For, the gospel of Christ teaches us to dwell in tabernacles, to sit loose to this world, as those that have here no continuing city, but by faith, and hope and holy contempt of present things, to go out to Christ without the camp, Heb. 13:13, 14 . (Leviticus 23)

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How appropriate it is then to also call this feast The Season of our Joy!

For indeed, the Savior, the Redeemer, the Hope of the world came down to earth during this feast, and no other than the angelic hosts of heaven proclaimed His arrival to the shepherds in the field.

Like Simeon who had been waiting for the "consolation of Israel" (Luke 2:25), the shepherds and many others in Israel had been longing for their Messiah to come and deliver them from the heavy burden of their circumstances. Both wise man and lowly peasant knew that this much-prophesied and much-awaited event was cause for great rejoicing.

Significantly, the baby Jesus was circumcised on the eighth day after he was born. The day after the seven days of the Feast of Tabernacles is also referred to as "the Eighth Day" or Shemini Atzeret, a separate event but often mistakenly considered as part of Sukkot. 

And when eight days were completed for the circumcision of the Child, 

His name was called Jesus, the name given by the angel 

before He was conceived in the womb. 

- Luke 2:21

This, for me, is the deeper significance of this joyous feast: that Jesus my Hope and Savior chose to come to earth at this season. His first coming was a prophetic fulfillment of this feast, paving the way for hope and rest for all who were weary and heavily laden. Jesus came down to earth the first time in obscurity, hiddenness, and humility, as a Savior and Redeemer, a Suffering Servant, a Man of Sorrows.

This feast will be fulfilled a second time when Jesus Christ returns to reign as the Prince of Peace for a thousand years. His second coming will be in glory, grandeur, and in full view of everyone, as Judge and King.

But this feast also has a meaningful personal fulfillment for me.

Just remembering that Jesus came to earth as a helpless human baby born in a sukkah during the Feast of Tabernacles makes me want to embrace at a deeper level the kind of humility that He had.

Paul in Philippians 2:2-8 stated it so beautifully:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

To think that Jesus was the Son of God, yet was willing to come down to earth as a human being, to be our Deliverer, to suffer an unthinkable death, when He Himself deserved none of what was done to Him... I know I haven't begun to fully grasp the deeper implications of it all.

There's no doubt or question, my deep desire all these years is to be like Christ in my attitudes, thoughts, words, and actions.

But it's a long process.

I am grateful to God for reminders along the way.

The past months, I have gained a new appreciation for the way Jesus lived His earthly life in obscurity.

Since I live alone, most of my days are lived in quietness. The social activities I do outside my home are the exceptions, not the norm.

Living alone, however, doesn't mean an idyllic existence - for there is much that needs to be done. Maintaining the garden, the daily upkeep of my home, not to mention the marketing, the laundry, the cooking to feed myself and my dogs, the banking errands, and so much more, all require discipline and choosing the right priorities for each day.

Yet, despite the physical activity, a major portion of my life is lived in hiddenness and obscurity.

There is much to be said about this kind of life. Jesus was born as a human baby, and grew up in a tiny village called Nazareth. Nobody really knew who He was except Mary and Joseph. Nobody in that village had the slightest inkling that right in their very midst was the son of God.

Nobody really knew that someday that ordinary carpenter's son would be the Messiah, the Redeemer they have all been waiting for.

One of the most beautiful phrases in the Bible that I love is what Mary does - she treasures, she hides, all these things in her heart.

The Bible talks a lot about being hidden.

We have this treasure (the life of Christ) hidden in jars of clay. (2 Corinthians 4:7)

God promises to give us hidden treasures of darkness and hoards in secret places that we may know that He is God who calls us by name (Isaiah 45:3).

Jesus teaches us not to flaunt or display our spirituality, but instead to go to our room and pray, and close the door behind us... and our heavenly  Father who sees what is done in secret will reward us. (Matthew 6:6)

There is a sure promise of protection for the one who dwells in the secret place of the Almighty. (Psalm 91)

The time of hiddenness is when the tree drives its roots downward into the earth. Much of what we see in the spring and summer is the result of the quiet winter months when the world is pretty much hidden under the thick blanket of snow.

Lately I have been reading Graham Cooke's writings about the two ways God works - in hiddenness and in manifestation.

It is when God seems distant and quiet, hidden from us, that He is working to build, equip, and transform.

Perhaps the simplest way to explain it is to say that manifestation is a time of blessing; hiddenness is a time of building. God desires to bring you through seasons of hiddenness because He wants you to learn the discipline of walking by the Spirit.

Developing an ongoing walk with God by the power of the Holy Spirit is a discipline. Practicing faith is a discipline. Hiddenness is God’s way of establishing these disciplines in your life. Once established, they prevent the enemy from invading your life and touching you, because regardless of your emotions, you know how to find the presence of God; you have a constant assurance of His presence and His commitment to you.

Understanding the fact that sometimes God is hidden and sometimes manifest will ground you in your faith and help you to have a more consistent walk with Him. Whether it’s a ‘‘good’’ day or a ‘‘bad’’ day, you will know how to live in the grace of God.
From Understanding Hiddenness and Manifestation by Graham Cooke

Oswald Chambers wrote these striking lines in his devotional My Utmost for His Highest: "Has God trusted you with His silence - a silence that has great meaning? ... When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible, with absolute silence -- not a silence of despair but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation." (October 11)

We live by faith, not by sight. - 2 Corinthians 5:7

I like how the New Living translation puts it: For we live by believing and not by seeing.

The life of faith is developed in the back burners of our lives.

As I have often heard it said, the battle is won on the strategic planning board, not on the battlefield. And the battle is fought in our hearts first.

Bill Johnson once said:

Once you kill the lion and the bear in private,

God will trust you to kill Goliath in public.

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When I think about the events of this month, I can't help but be amazed at how God my Abba Father has quietly orchestrated every single day.

After getting back from Manila in early July, I made a tentative plan to visit my daughter again in late September. However, without a clear go signal from God, I needed to wait for confirmation before finalizing my plans.

In September I was given an opportunity to go on a ministry trip to Cagayan de Oro (CDO) for the first two weeks of October. The timing seemed perfect. From CDO, I would go directly to Manila and stay there till the end of the month.

However, this meant I would not be around for the birthday celebrations of two of my grandchildren: Joyful One's on October 8, and Forerunner's on October 20. Moving the schedules to a later date would mean I could not be back in time for our November family celebrations which begin on  November 1.

After much prayer, I had peace about pushing through with the original plans.

I arrived in Cagayan de Oro on October 3. The CDO seminars were scheduled only for Thursday and Friday evenings and whole day Saturday for two consecutive weekends. This gave me plenty of alone time during the day. I was hosted by a wonderful couple in their lovely home, and while they were away at work, I had the whole house to myself.

After almost two weeks in CDO, on October 15, I boarded my Sunday morning flight to Manila.

Since my daughter leaves early for work each weekday and gets home late in the evenings, I also spent much of my time in Manila by myself.

This month has really been a delightful month spent in solitude and serenity.

There were chunks of time for me to be in God's presence, something that I have longed to have.

During the Sunday worship I last attended at Victory Katipunan, Pastor Raymund spoke on the narrow gate as being the path to life that very few discover.

What a confirmation of the lessons Abba Father has been teaching me this month! Indeed the narrow gate is a hidden gate, and not many find it.

I arrived from Manila yesterday afternoon. Re-invigorated, renewed, and refreshed.

In the evening I attend the worship service at Victory Bacolod at the SMX, SM City. Pastor Jason preached a timely word on the foolish and the wise builder. This concluding message for their 16-week series entitled Redefined cemented the lessons God had for me this month of October.

It is in the hidden and obscure seasons of my life that God is teaching me true wisdom. Wisdom not as the world gives, in the center stage and under the bright lights of fame and acclamation, but in the quiet corner, in the secret place, even when it seems that God is far and nowhere to be seen.

How thankful I am to God for He has been steadily building my faith in Him, through the circumstances of my life!

And as this month ends, I am ready to face the remaining months of the year 2017, and ready to embrace what lies ahead of me in the year 5778, the year of new beginnings.

October has been very much a peaceful month for me. With this peace has come a gentle kind of joy... not exuberant, bubbling over, or showing off... but low key and inconspicuous, like a weaned child sitting contentedly in the lap of his mother.

I name this month, Finding Peace in Obscurity

Our family had an advanced celebration for the birthdays of Joyful One and Forerunner on October 1.

On October 3, I boarded my flight to Cagayan de Oro.

awaiting boarding at the Silay pre-departure lounge

Cagayan de Oro: October 3-14, 2017
God's presence was clearly felt during the two weekend seminars where most of the participants received spiritual breakthroughs and release from deep seated emotional bondage. My dear friend and fellow ministry team member Giok Tin arrived from Davao City to be with me during the Financial Foundations seminar.

The time I spent with the team was fruitful and encouraging.

Ancient Paths Basic Seminar in CDO

October 5-7, 2017

Beautiful roses from Lyn's garden!

at the Ostrich Farm

October 9, 2017

lunch with Richard and Giok Tin at Bibgy's

October 12, 2017

coffee time with Pastor Lloyd and Ric

October 13, 2017

last night in CDO with the team

October 14, 2017

One bonus privilege I enjoyed while in this city was the time I spent with my first cousin Bobby and his wife Girlie, and their family.

delicious lunch with my cousins and their family

at the Del Monte Clubhouse, Bukidnon

October 8, 2017 

Metro Manila: October 15-29

lunch with my dear friend Elvie at Pamana Bistro, Makati City

October 26, 2017

with daughter Obedient One and her pet dog George
October 29, 2017