Speaking Life

Raindrops in my jade plant

The God of Israel said,
the Rock of Israel spoke to me,
He who rules over men must be just,
ruling in reverence of God.
And he will be like the light of the morning,
when the sun rises, a morning without clouds,
like the tender grass springing out of the earth
by shining clear after rain.
- 2 Samuel 23:3


And the remnant of Jacob will be in the midst of many peoples
as the dew from the LORD,
as the showers upon the grass 
that do not delay for man
or wait for the sons of men.
- Micah 5:6


 As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,

and do not return to it without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower

and bread for the eater,

so is My word that goes out from My mouth:

It will not return to Me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

- Isaiah 55:10, 11


Let my teaching fall like rain 

and my words descend like dew, 

like showers on new grass, 

like abundant rain on tender plants.

- Deuteronomy 32:2

The worship of convenience is the enemy of true faith. - Rick Joyner 

About a week ago, nine of us went to San Carlos City, a city in the northern part of our island.  It was a cool morning, the dawning of a new day, and the road to this place takes us through winding roads around the mountains of Don Salvador Benedicto. So it really was a scenic route through sugar cane plantations, rice fields, rivers, brooks, meadows, valleys, and pine tree nurseries. Clouds hung low in the mountains, and in some parts, we literally had to go through these clouds. It was a feast for my soul, really such a refreshing delight for me, after having been in the congested and noisy city all these months.

Lyndon had been invited to give a teaching at the pastors' and church workers' gathering that day, and we were part of his intercessory team. 

Only about fifty persons showed up for this event, so we were quite disappointed. Yet Lyndon delivered his message with the same passion and commitment that I have known him to have.

There is really no time to lose. We aim to encourage as many fellow countrymen as we can reach to go down on their knees and regularly intercede for our nation. It is a call to unity, especially for pastors who are the gatekeepers of their churches.

We want to break down the denominational walls that divide and wound us as a people, but it seems such an uphill climb. Reaching out to all of those who are called by His name, our ultimate aim is for anyone who will acknowledge the sovereignty of God as King over our seven thousand and one hundred islands, to bend the knee in humility, and to pray.

Our greatest enemies are ignorance, complacency, plain and simple laziness, and an outright refusal to budge from one's places of comfort. Nevertheless, we are not daunted by this, for that is nearly where each one of us stood at the beginning of our individual journeys. So we are setting out on an information campaign - letting people know what the real score is, in a language that they speak and understand, right where they are.

A year ago, the Central Bank of the Philippines came out with new banknotes. On these banknotes were printed these amazing words:

Pinagpala ang bayan na ang Diyos ay ang Panginoon.

In English, this means, "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord" found in Psalm 33:12.

This is a powerful declaration. The fact that it is printed on every single banknote of our currency has spiritual implications. To say that we are excited about this development is really an understatement, for we are seeing before our eyes that God is pleased by our commitment to continue giving Him the place of highest honor in our land.

Money talks... and in this case, our money says that He is the Lord of our economy.

What we really want people to know is that the Philippines is a nation of prophetic destiny. Being the only Christian nation in southeast Asia, we are a channel of God's blessing to this part of the world.

Our islands are naturally endowed with great wealth in the form of natural resources.

Consider these facts:

The Mindanao Deep has the biggest deposit of concentrated nitrogen in the whole world.

Beneath the South China Sea, right within Philippine territory, lies 213 billion barrels of oil deposits. No wonder, our next door neighbor is very interested and is preying right within our doorsteps, standing guard.

We are the fifth most mineralized country in the world... the number one gold producer in Asia, having the second largest deposit of gold in the entire world. We have the third largest deposit of copper, in Surigao is found the fourth largest deposit of nickel, used in the manufacture of stainless steel. We also have the fifth largest deposit of manganese, and the sixth largest deposit of chromite worldwide.

But more than the wealth of our natural resources, I believe that our greatest wealth are our own people, gifted with a joyful spirit. Hospitality is probably our national trait, as well as a soft heart for God. We are a civilized race, with a set of well-defined and written laws. Intelligent and hardworking, we possess incredible abilities in arts and sciences.

God is changing the season, and He is turning the tide in our favor. Among the intercessors, those who are praying unceasingly for this nation, it is a widespread belief that we are moving forward, and we are believing that God will enable us to accomplish in a year what will normally take ten years.

No longer will the Lord delay His Word for the Philippines. We need to recognize the urgency of this hour... we need to unite... stand together... believe together... and pray together!

We will look beyond the societal ills, the injustice, the corruption, the poverty... we will look up to the heavens, believe that He is lifting us up from the ashes, restoring us to a greater glory than ever before, and together let us declare with one voice that the Philippines is for Christ!

Showers of mercy, grace, and compassion are falling.

I offer my mouth to You, Lord, that You may use it as an instrument for Your glory.  My mouth will speak blessings, and not curse... life, and not death. Make me a channel of blessing to my family - my children and grandchildren, to my friends, and every single person you send my way. 

Yes, I am speaking life to these islands... raising my voice up to the heavens! I will never stop proclaiming that the Philippines is for Christ!


I have been home for four weeks already, and have truly appreciated the precious opportunity to bond with my family as well.

This month we celebrated the birthdays of my two daughters in love, God given and Chosen One.

Below are some pictures I have taken of my loved ones.

A stormy day, lunch at Balaring seaside resto, in honor of First Born's birthday and MBA graduation

Precious grandsons - Full of Hope and Forerunner

Breakfast at McDonald's on Chosen One's birthday - here she is with Worshiper and Full of Hope

First born, God given and Forerunner

At Yakiniku Korean resto, during God-given's birthday lunch... me and my two sons

God-given and First born, a family breakfast on God given's birthday

Forerunner, growing up...

Full of hope, beaming at his Nana

A special homemade Japanese sushi dinner

 

Little happy feet

Forerunner, in his preschool uniform - so formal looking!

Me and my grandsons

The Philippines is for Christ

 by Steve Kuban

The heavens declare your glory

The nations bow before Thee

And in this place

Let your praise arise

The Philippines is for Christ

Reign, reign Lord Jesus

In our hearts

And In our lives

Reign, reign O Lord of the Heavens

The Philippines is for Christ

Forever your name be exalted

O Lord above creation

And in this place

We lift your song on high

The Philippines is for Christ

 

The Next Level

Reading the Letter 
 by Thomas Benjamin Kennington

photo source

You show that you are a letter from Christ sent through us. 
This letter is not written with ink
but with the Spirit of the living God. 
It is not written on stone tablets but on human hearts.
- 2 Corinthians 3:3 (NCV)







...you have persevered and have patience,
and have labored for My name's sake 
and have not become weary.
Nevertheless I have this against you,
that you have left your first love.
- Revelation 2:3-4




Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord;
    his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers,
    as the spring rains that water the earth.

- Hosea 6:3 




A bruised reed He will not break, 
and a dimly burning wick He will not quench...
- Isaiah 42:3

Today is the last day of June. As I write this my last blog entry for this month, I'm grateful for the opportunity to look back and review the significance of the past four weeks for me.

I left Manila at around noon on Monday, the 25th of June. It had been such a wonderful seventeen-day stay, and as I was tidying up the bedroom, removing the beddings for washing, putting my things away, cleaning up the room and the bathroom, preparing it for my leaving, a lingering sense of sadness filled my heart. 

My daughter is 27, and at that age, sometimes she acts as if she were the mother and I, the child. Nevertheless, I will always be a mother to her, caring for her, and thinking about her needs. And I guess I will always feel sad when it is time to leave her.

But there is more to it than just leaving a loved one behind. Really, this going back and forth  between two cities does something deep to my spirit. It makes me feel like one chapter in my life story is closing, and another just about to unfold.

This is good, because it always gives me a sense of upward movement and growth, a sense that something new is happening. In both cities I have family that I love (my sons, daughters in law, and two grandsons live in Bacolod, my daughter Obedient One lives in Manila), and relatives and friends who are dear to my heart. There are activities that I look forward to. These special relationships nourish and give life to my soul. The events that I participate in engage my spirit, prevents it from stagnating, keeping my spiritual senses alert and expectant.

On the other hand, this now-familiar rhythm of traveling to and fro -- by air, water, and land --  removes from me any sense of permanence... I quickly realize that my life is fluid and is in a constant state of flux and transition.

This gives me feelings of inadequacy for all the things that I know I am supposed to do. There is a sense in which a part of my life remains unfinished, under construction, but also undergoing change and renovation. When it is time for me to leave, many things have to be put on hold for the moment, waiting to be attended to when I return.

I think that personalities who want order, routine, and rigidity in their affairs would go crazy with this kind of life. Any person who wants everything to be under control would find the back and forth movement unnerving. 

One spiritual benefit to be gained from all these is that I become utterly dependent on God. He alone is my anchor and my stability.



During the seventeen days that I was in Manila there were many opportunities to meet up again with dear friends. 

On June 10, two days after I arrived in Manila, my daughter Obedient One and I attended the Sunday worship at the Community of Faith Alliance Church, the church pastored by my friend Alberto. Because it was their church anniversary, a special worship service to commemorate the event was held. We really had such a meaningful time. What made it so significant was what Alberto spoke about: the bridal paradigm in our relationship with the Lord. How important indeed to go through these endtimes with this in mind, that God is preparing His church as He would a bride, that He may present us to our Lord Jesus Christ -- radiant, spotless, dressed in white, without wrinkle or blemish. 

Katrina, a brand new bride, also shared with us the incredible story of how God led her to the love of her life, and how their courtship ended in such a meaningful wedding ceremony.

What moved my heart to shreds and caused me to really break down in tears was when we sang a worship song in response to the kind of love that God has for us, Who Am I by  Casting Crowns.

God used that special anniversary Sunday in Alberto's church to set the tone for the rest of my stay in Manila. A few days later, my dear friends Gina (Alberto's wife), Tina, Rosemarie and I had lunch at our favorite Greek resto - Cyma Greek Taverna in Greenbelt 3, Makati City. These are my dear intercessor friends, and whenever we meet up, time just isn't enough for us to share with one another our personal stories of what God has been doing.


My friends and I are in agreement to intercede regularly for our nation's prophetic destiny as we are in our jubilee season, celebrating the planting of the Christian cross in Mactan, Cebu, 490 years ago, by Ferdinand Magellan, the Portuguese navigator who "discovered" our islands in 1521. These ten years, from 2011 to 2021, are what we consider our season of jubilee, for they mark the 500 years of Christianity in this nation.


Several prophets have received a consistent word from the Lord: that He desires for our nation to be a launching pad for His glory during this jubilee season. For this reason, intercessors for the Philippines are mobilizing everyone to heed this call, doing what we can to make sure that our islands do not miss the important "hour" of divine visitation.


In this season, we are called to take a decisive prophetic stand before the Altar of Incense, that altar of gold in the Inner Court of the Tabernacle where the incense was burned. In the Old Testament, the High Priest took incense from this altar to put in his censer before he could go through the veil to enter the Holy of Holies.

There needs to be enough incense of prayer and intercession, enough brokenness, enough desperation, a critical mass that will move the heart of the Father to hear our prayers and heal our land.

There needs to be enough committed intercessors who will not go to God only when everything is comfortable and convenient, but those who are willing to pull themselves aside, put aside their usual earthly agenda, to seek the righteousness of God and do whatever it takes to promote and advance His kingdom. Our overall personal and family agenda and goals are legitimate and not necessarily bad, for we are also called to be good stewards and trustworthy servants. But the malady of this hour is that people are so overtaken with it that the greater goal of building God's kingdom is relegated to a lower priority.

This was the cry of my heart when I awoke one morning and I sensed God's holy presence in the room.

I could only kneel before Him and repent for the way I had been more words and less action regarding this matter. 

I am going back to You, Lord, as my First Love. 

On Monday evening, the 25th of June, I arrived in Bacolod City, fully prepared to conduct a two-day mid-year retreat for the Women of Purpose of our church on the last weekend of this month.

I knew God was calling me to be His mouthpiece in the area of motivating and mobilizing people, both in my own country, and people from other nations as well, to be as those who will take time to burn the incense of intercession at the Altar of Incense in these crucial times.

But for one reason or another, I became ill for two days just before the scheduled retreat, and we had to postpone the event.

I took it to mean that God had other plans for the end of the month.

And as it turns out, He was right.

Early this morning, I was glad to join the Negros Island House of Prayer (NIHOP) intercession and worship time together with a group of committed intercessors for our island.  The NIHOP is only two months old, but it has been on our hearts for many years. God has planted this very dream in the hearts of many intercessors for this city. For many years, a small group of us prayed regularly at my house, also called the Beulah House of Prayer, for our country and for the nation of Israel. But somehow, the number of people never increased, and I just put the dream of a 24/7 House of Prayer for this city on hold.

I know that the calling and vision to start a House of Prayer have also been given to many others, and together, like a band of warriors, some called to be "bows," and some called to be "arrows," we are marching into the God-given destiny for this island.

The task is so great, and my individual efforts seem so insignificant. But then again, I am continually reminded that it is not about me. 

As I end this post, I end it with one of my top favorite hymns - O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go.

This was a hymn that we sang often at the Diliman Bible Church, the church in Manila where the fire of my love for the Lord grew strong during my early years as a young believer. We would sing this with much conviction and emotion, at the top of our voices. Truly, this hymn never fails to remind me of the kind of steadfast and unconditional love that God has for me...  That in spite of my feelings of inadequacy and smallness in the face of such a huge assignment in this season of my life, God will never allow my flickering flame to die. Always at the right moment, He re-issues the invitation and the call.

And my heart cry is, Father, raise me up once more to walk in my calling.

Many times I look at myself, at my feeble efforts, at the unresolved issues of my life, at the enormity of the task ahead of me...  and I wonder if what I do can amount to much.

Just this evening, God reminded me of this hymn, and as I listened to it several times, there has been a strong confirmation and assurance on my heart. Just say "Yes" to the invitation, and respond to the call with small steps of obedience.

The month of June ends for me on a very encouraging note. And the name I have given this month resonates deep within - The Next Level. I know that is where God is taking me, and that is where I want to be.

My life story unfolds in stages, like the chapters of an open book... my life is a letter openly shared on this blog, for others to read and hopefully learn from.

The video for this hymn, sung so beautifully by David Phelps is also posted at the end.

The hymn was written by a blind Scottish minister, George Matheson. Below is the account of how the divine inspiration was given, written in his own words:

My hymn was composed in the manse of Innelan on the evening of the 6^th of June, 1882, when I was 40 years of age. I was alone in the manse at that time. It was the night of my sister’s marriage, and the rest of the family were staying overnight in Glasgow. Something happened to me, which was known only to myself, and which caused me the most severe mental suffering. The hymn was the fruit of that suffering. It was the quickest bit of work I ever did in my life. I had the impression of having it dictated to me by some inward voice rather than of working it out myself. I am quite sure that the whole work was completed in five minutes, and equally sure that it never received at my hands any retouching or correction. I have no natural gift of rhythm. All the other verses I have ever written are manufactured articles; this came like a dayspring from on high. (Information taken from here.)

O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go

 Lyrics by George Matheson, Music by Albert Lister Peace

O Love that wilt not let me go,

I rest my weary soul in Thee;

I give Thee back the life I owe,

That in Thine ocean depths its flow

May richer, fuller be.

O Light that foll'west all my way, 

I yield my flick'ring torch to Thee; 

My heart restores its borrowed ray, 

That in Thy sunshine's blaze its day 

May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain, 

I cannot close my heart to Thee; 

I trace the rainbow thru' the rain, 

And feel the promise is not vain, 

That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head, 

I dare not ask to fly from Thee; 

I lay in dust life's glory dead, 

And from the ground there blossoms red 

Life that shall endless be.

May you receive grace, encouragement, and inspiration as you read this month-end post, and as you listen to this beautiful hymn, my beloved friends.

On Gold Dust, Gemstones, Feathers and Angels

Eternity

 photo source

For thus, says the LORD of hosts:

"Once more (it is a little while) I will shake heavens and earth,

the sea and dry land;

and I will shake all nations,

and they shall come to the Desire of All Nations,

and I will fill this temple with glory,"

says the LORD of hosts.

"The silver is Mine, 

and the gold is Mine,"

says the LORD of hosts.

"The glory of this latter temple shall be greater than the former,"

says the LORD of hosts.

"And in this place I will give peace,"

says the LORD of hosts.

- Haggai 2:6-9

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

 Nor are your ways My ways,"

says the LORD.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts.

- Isaiah 55:8, 9

In just a few more days, I will be returning to my home in Bacolod City.

Over the recent years, the word "home" has become such an illusive concept for me - for deep in my heart of hearts, I know that my heart's true home is not anywhere on this earth. 

Heaven is my heart's true home.

For now, however, Bacolod City is my earthly home, because that is where Ernie and I built our home, living together as husband and wife together for thirty years, and it is also where we raised our three wonderful children. Two of our three children still live in this city.

Manila is home to me as well, because this is the city where I was born, and where I was brought up by loving parents. And now, for the past six years, our youngest child, our only daughter, has lived in this city... so each time I visit Obedient One, I am also coming "home."

God has been speaking more and more to me about the heavenly home that He has prepared, not only for me, but for all of those who have chosen Him as their God, and believed in Him as their Heavenly Father.

When I turned my life over to God as my LORD and Savior in December of 1973 - about forty years ago - He planted a deep desire in my heart to know Him... the way He wanted to be known.

A line written by A.W. Tozer became one of the motivating factors that fueled my desire to really get close to the LORD.  In one of his books, Tozer wrote these words:

You are as holy as you want to be.

That sentence opened up a well of insights after I went before God, asking Him what those words meant. Over the weeks, months and years of my life as a young believer, God revealed some important answers to me.

I could become as holy as I wanted to be - the choice was mine. I could draw as close as I could to His heart - the choice was up to me. 

If I called to Him, He would hear me.

Only one step taken in His direction would send Him running, with arms wide open, toward me.

If I had a question to ask Him, He would answer me. The answers would not always come immediately, nor would they come in the way I expect them to... but the promise is that He would answer.

If I opened my mouth, He would feed me.

If I sought the truth, and asked for wisdom, guidance, and direction, He would give them to me.

If I trusted Him and obeyed Him... He would entrust me with more faith.

And so on...

The obedience was going to be rewarded, not as a result of my "good works" or human effort, but because my obedience was not only an action, a response to His invitation... it was actually more a platform from where I lived out my choices.

Obedience was both a response and a place on which to stand.

So many things the Lord spoke to me about becoming as holy as I wanted to be... but it was not as easy as these words make it sound. Many of these spiritual truths were learned the hard way.

Through many rivers, mountains, valleys... much pain, sorrow, joy, and delights, God drew me closer to His heart.

If there were wrong things I came to believe, lies, faulty mindsets... sooner or later God would reveal to me that I was in error.  Over time, I came to recognize His nudges, or an inner check in my spirit, that still small voice telling me, "Don't go there, My child. There is danger there. You will be harmed." 

There would be a clarification from Scripture, from a book I was reading, or from a timely message by a preacher, or a Bible study teacher.

God has been faithful to protect those who are His. On this rest my confidence and my security.

Because I love Him, I asked Him years ago to help me pursue whatever it is that He wants for me, and also, to help me stay away from whatever does not please Him and does not give Him glory.

Definitely it has not been a bed of roses. There have been struggles and dead ends, and I have taken many a wrong turn along the way.

But I say it again, God has been faithful. Very faithful.

One of the verses that have continued to strengthen my faith walk is found in 2 Timothy 1:12 --

 I know whom I have believed, 

and am convinced that he is able 

to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

On this blog I have shared my faith walk and my spiritual journey, primarily to give honor to God who is the real Author of my life story, and secondly, to serve as my personal chronicles.

But it is also meant to be an encouragement to any reader who "lands" on these pages.

It has never been my intention to promote a theology, or a doctrine. No reader is ever forced to believe what I have come to believe, but I will always be committed to being a voice of truth and a beacon of hope in the midst of the darkness around us. Far be it from this blog to lead anyone astray.

Understandably, there are those who will read my words and disagree or misunderstand, that is a given. But because it is my choice to bare my thoughts on this medium, I therefore take no issue with that.

But it must be emphasized that this blog will also never become a forum for debate - to prove others wrong or prove me right, or vice versa... because as I have mentioned, this blog is a record of the unfolding story of my life... an honest sharing of where I have been, and where I am now.

My God is continually bringing me to new levels of faith.

These days, there seems to be a lot of shaking going on.

God is shaking everything that can be shaken, so that what cannot be shaken will remain; that what is false will be exposed and removed, and only what is true will remain.

Thus, there is the shaking of our foundations that the faulty structures on which we have built our faith will be dismantled, and new ones put up in their place.

The same reason holds true for the earthquakes the whole world has been experiencing, even the shaking of the family unit, and Wall Street and the world's financial centers - God is removing what will not stand the test of eternity.

He is going to build a new heaven and a new earth, and anything that does not meet His standards is being taken out of the way.

I find this to be true even in my spiritual life and personal doctrinal stand. Over the years, my faith has been shaken a few times. I have had to discard some cherished "truths" after finding out that I had been wrong. Intellectual honesty requires that I keep my heart and mind open to receive deeper truths as I mature in my understanding.

God has also brought me to the place where some denominational labels I had attached to certain beliefs had to be peeled off. 

I thought "holy laughter" was from the devil, until I experienced it myself, and in such an unlikely setting as an airplane that was about to take off, just because I was worshiping God, and asking Him to fill my heart with more love for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Years ago I never knew what a song in the night was, until one night in the early 1990s I heard a song in my heart. And when I described it to my pastor, he carefully and gently told me that it was the Holy Spirit singing a song of comfort to my hurting heart.

I never believed in speaking in tongues, until about two decades ago when I asked the Holy Spirit for a prayer language.  Today, praying in this language has proven to be of tremendous value to my spiritual life.

Many such things God has done for me, when I least expected them, when I was not looking for them, when I was not seeking for a sign.

And I have found out through the years the amazing truth that God is a God of the surprise visits!

Yes, I have discovered feathers a few times, and through them, the Father has spoken a word of confirmation to me for the new season I was entering.

In my last post, I briefly mentioned about the gold dust that was showered on the floor after my friends went through a time of intense warfare, worship, and intercession. I was out of the country on a ministry trip when it happened - but a friend showed me the envelop where she had kept some of the dust. They were not asking for it, they were lost in worship, and the feeling of everyone there when that happened was that God was making His presence manifest.

In early March, my friends and I attended the Gazing Into Glory conference in Subic. In that conference, we had three days of worship, and intercession, as well as listening to various speakers, who I felt were all anointed and gifted in the area of teaching they were giving.

After one worship time, we were surprised to find gemstone crystals all over the carpet. Again, we did not ask for it, nor were we even expecting it to happen, but there they were! Our feeling when that happened was not to question if it was from the enemy, or if it had a Biblical support... instead, what we felt was a deep sense of knowing God was in our midst.

Ruth Filler, one of the speakers that afternoon, mentioned that she knew someone who had literally been up to heaven, and when he came back, he said that he saw gemstones sparkling in the river banks of heaven.

She then admonished us not to focus on the gemstones per se, but rather to seek the God who has given the gemstones as a sign of His favor. Ruth also said that these gemstones are a form of betrothal gifts from God.

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness... seek His heart, seek the essential things, and these things will be given as a by-product, a bonus, of our seeking. Keep your eyes on the Giver, not the gift. Worship the God of the experience, rather than the experience.

The humble way in which she said these things, without a hint of pride or arrogance, was such a lovely encouragement to all who were listening.

God is God alone, and He can be gracious to whoever He wants to be gracious.

I know God fearing people who have seen angels with their own eyes. Does that make them un-spiritual? I don't think so.

If Satan wants to produce counterfeits of what God can do, I think that's not the point here. I believe God is rising up in these last days, showing Himself mighty and strong, a God of miracles, a God of signs and wonders. There will be counterfeits because the enemy is jealous and seeks to lead many astray.

And yes indeed, the deceiver is standing close by. We are not to believe that all angelic visitations and supernatural manifestations are from God. We are taught in Scriptures to test every spirit, the greatest test being that Jesus Christ remains central, and God alone is worshiped and given the glory.

There have been spiritual abuses throughout the ages. But I don't think it's wise to throw out the baby with the bath water. I will hold on to what is true. I will let God encourage me, give Him freedom to shake my belief system... and allow Him to reveal to me things beyond my scope of experience or understanding.

Alma McClure says it beautifully:

"We know that the Lord has vast areas of truth to unfold before us. We want to be open and receptive to all that is OF HIM. His Word is a treasure house, or a deep mine of jewels, and we rejoice to find continually, deeper depths of precious truth. But we want to be sure that it is PURE truth that we are receiving, and BALANCED truth! (For truth out of balance becomes error.) The Lord is faithful to confirm or to expose, so we need not fear, IF WE KEEP OUR EYES ON HIM!"

I just feel so awed and humbled that God would choose to reveal such things to His people today.

Again, this is all part of my desire to be as holy as I want to be. To know Him as much as He can allow Himself to be known. To move up to the next level of my faith.

God is not a God of three dimensions as we know this world to be. God lives in the fourth dimension, the realm of the spirit... and that to me is mind boggling!


In the Old Testament, twelve gemstones decorated the royal ephod of the High Priest, to represent the twelve tribes of Israel. I understand that each of these stones stand for a name of God!

In Revelation 21, John speaks of the new Jerusalem  

"...descending out of heaven from God, having the glory of God. 

Her light was like a most precious stone, 

like a jasper stone, clear as crystal.... 

The construction of its wall was of jasper, 

and the city was pure gold, like clear glass. 

The foundations of the wall of the city 

were adorned with all kinds of precious stones..."   

- Revelation 21: 10-11, 18-19

Given a vision of God's throne in heaven, John could only describe the glorious sight he beheld in these words:

And He who sat there was like a jasper 
and a sardius stone in appearance.

- Revelation 4:3

I think by sending the gold dust and the gemstones, God is choosing to give us a tiny glimpse of the glory of heaven, and to reveal Himself to us in a way our finite minds can comprehend.

He who has ears to hear, let him hear what the Spirit says.

It fills my heart with such a sense of trembling, and awe. Yes, He is God alone, the truth of Who He is is not dependent on any of my limited human understanding or experience.

One of the things God has taught me is to remain humble and teachable, to be willing to unlearn what needs to be unlearned, to give room for the new things He wants to pour into my life.

My heart is to be as a new, supple, and expandable wineskin for the fresh wine of His truth!

He goes way beyond all of what I know of Him at the moment!

Because He is unfathomable, He is unsearchable!

Below is a link to the Gateway Church based in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, where John and Ruth Filler serve as core team members. In their church, God has been pleased to release gemstones and gold dust, sending an angel to bring these gemstones to earth, and so I won't say anything more about it here. There are YouTube accounts about the gemstones that members of this church have received, links posted below, for the benefit of anyone who is interested to hear the personal stories.

Gemologists have been consulted regarding these stones, and after scrutiny it has been determined that  the stones are flawless, having no traces of carbon or air bubbles or other inclusions.

When things like these happen, to keep ourselves on the right track, our focus is to be on the God of the experience rather than the experience itself. Check them out, pray, and let God have the final say in the matter.

My own humble response in all this is that of worship. 

You deserve the glory, my Lord. 

Just let me say how much I love  You!

The Gateway International Ministry Resource Center (Core Team)
Miraculous Stones in Idaho Church - 1
Miraculous Stones in Idaho Church - 2


You Deserve the Glory
(Lyrics by Aaron Keyes)

You deserve the glory
And the honour
Lord we lift our hands in worship
As we lift your holy name

For you are great, You do miracles so great
There is no one else like you, there is no one else like You
For you are great, You do miracles so great
There is no one else like you, there is no one else like You

For you are great, You do miracles so great
There is no one else like you, there is no one else like You
For you are great, You do miracles so great
There is no one else like you, there is no one else like You





Just Let Me Say
by Hillsong United

Just let me say how much I love You
Let me speak of Your mercy and grace
Just let me live in a shadow of Your beauty
Let me see You face to face

And the earth will shake as Your Word goes forth
And the heavens will tremble and fall
But let me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Just let me hear Your finest whispers
As You gently call my name
And let me see Your power and Your glory
Let me feel Your spirit's flame

Let me find You in the desert
Till this sand is holy ground
And I am found completely surrendered
To You my Lord and Friend

So let me say how much I love You
With all my heart I long for You
For I am caught in this passion of knowing
This endless love I've found in You

And the depth of grace, the forgiveness found
To be called a child of God
Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend (x2)

Just makes me say how much I love You
Oh my Savior, my Lord and Friend

Kingdom Connections

photo source

So the last will be first, and the first last. 

For many are called, but few chosen.

- Matthew 20:16 NKJV 

I woke up at about midnight with a verse on my heart, the one I quoted above. A gentle rain was falling softly, and a cool breeze was blowing. 

Many thoughts started flowing in, and here I am, sharing what's on my heart while they are still fresh.

Earlier this evening, I received a text message from a friend in Bacolod City.

The text message was about a dream that someone had two nights ago.  The details of the dream were not given, except that this person dreamed of an earthquake that struck a southern city in our province, which also shook Bacolod (my home city), and another city - forming a triangle.

We sense that this is a genuine message from God, a message given to alert the intercessors to pray. So we are now on high alert, praying that God will hold this earthquake, and instead, motivate people to pray, draw close to Him, and seek the purposes of His heart for us in our province.

These recent years we have been very much involved in pursuing the prophetic destiny of our country. Whenever I am in Bacolod City, we meet several times a week to study the passages in the Bible that talk about the end times. The studies are done to help us focus on the kind of heart, mind, and even physical preparation that we need to do. 

Part of the preparation is taking the Bible to heart, reading it aloud, and taking seriously what John says in the book of Revelation:

Blessed is he who reads and those who hear 

the words of this prophecy, and keep those things 

which are written in it; for the time is near.

- Revelation 1:3

We are also in the process of putting together a twenty four-hour House of Prayer, where there will be prayer, intercession, and worship going on for twenty four hours.

This is a huge undertaking, and the ground work has been carefully prepared all these years.

God is raising up men and women who are heeding the call, and volunteering to put their skills, resources, spiritual giftings and natural talents together. It is a slow process, but over the past months we have sensed the urgency of the times.

Our group of women in church meet weekly to study the Bible and look at its practical application in our daily lives.

There is also a regular time of intercession - for our nation as well as for the nation of Israel. 

At first our efforts were disjointed and scattered. There was a vision, but it wasn't clear to everyone. 

There wasn't a sense of desperation, and the commitment of people came and went like the tide of the ocean.

Nevertheless, there were those who remained consistent and never gave up.

I am in Manila at the moment. Whenever I'm here, I also join a group that believes in the jubilee assignment for our nation. We meet regularly to study the Bible and listen to prophetic messages given by those who have been given a strong anointing to receive and release such messages.

What I am noticing these months is that whether I am home in Bacolod, or visiting my daughter Obedient One in Manila, the fire of commitment is getting stronger; our joint efforts are getting more and more fine tuned and synchronized.

I am amazed at the kingdom connections that are falling into place.

A few weeks ago, during the Saturday worship and intercession time in Bacolod, there was a shower of gold dust that everyone experienced and saw with their own eyes. I also shared of our experience at the Gazing Into Glory conference in Subic last March, where there were gemstone crystals on the carpet after our time of worship (read my post about it, Heaven Unveiled).

Worship. Warfare. Intercession... This is now the emerging pattern for the times we spend in worship and prayer.

 The Holy Spirit is clearly at work all over the world.

During the recent National Prayer Gathering held in Manila in April this year, Chuck Pierce, Jill Shannon, Robert Mist, and Neville Johnson were among the speakers at the conference. 

The message God spoke through them was similar. God was bringing this nation to a season of testing and refinement - because He is sifting the hearts of those who are truly His.

Indeed many are called... many are invited... but only a few are chosen.

And those who are chosen are those who will heed the call, those who will respond in obedience, not allow themselves to be dissipated, or to be distracted from their assignments for this season.

In my recent blog, I wrote of the season of acceleration that is upon us as a kingdom people.

Kingdom connections are being forged and strengthened. 

That is why I sense that God is leading us to choose our relationships carefully. But it's not just our human relationships that we're being asked to evaluate, I believe God is also calling us to give importance to the strengthening of our relationship with Him.

God is looking at the condition of my heart - in the way that the bridegroom desires for the heart of his bride to be pure, blameless, without spot or blemish.

The ongoing prayer of my heart for this season is that I may continue to advance and build His kingdom, in everything I do.

These days I am just basking in unstructured time ... reading ... reflecting ... listening to worship music 

... being alone with myself ... 

interceding for members of my family and a few of my friends whose names God is laying upon my heart ...

but mostly sitting in silence in God's presence not having to do or say anything... 

doing some gardening...

going to the grocery... 

having lunch out with friends... 

enjoying the weekends with my daughter at the mall ... 

sleeping. 

Whatever... there are no oughts for me these days.

Nevertheless, I am very much aware of things that need to be done, issues in my life that I am asking God for breakthrough, but there is just no sense of urgency at the moment. I'm taking things in stride, trusting my Creator Father God is hovering over the dark areas of my life, and He is creating something beautiful and something new!

And yes, in all these, I am thanking God for my kingdom friends... the kingdom connections that God is strengthening for the days ahead.

Farewell, Baby Rowan...

Rowan Tree flowers

Rejoice with those who rejoice;

mourn with those who mourn.

- Romans 12:15

On June 11, 2012, my dear friend "Mrs. Mac" wrote this entry on her blog:

My sweet Rowan passed into the loving arms of our Heavenly Father at 3:12 this afternoon. God gave her a beautiful day for her home coming .. perfect blue skies .. and a beautiful sunset. My how one little gift from God changed so many lives. What a privilege it has been being her grandmother.  My heart rejoices knowing that hers has been made whole.

Thank you to the many readers and friends that have been praying for our little heart warrior. She was born with hypo-plastic left heart syndrome where the left side of her heart did not form properly. Our family will see her once again in Heaven.

Rowan's mom Katie gave birth to her on December 12, 2011. They first found out about the baby's heart condition in August, four months before she was to be born.

This news required the whole family to gear up for the coming birth - and many friends - face to face, blogger, and FB friends -- were alerted for prayer support.

I live thousands of miles away from this family, but Baby Rowan was already on my heart even before she was born.

I have never even met Mrs. Mac personally. But she is today a precious friend.

For her January 2, 2012 welcome post, she wrote these beautiful words:

A new year, month, day .. and calendar page. Last year was sparse for posting on my blog.  We had a second half of the year filled with anticipation, hope and worry with the arrival of our newest grandchild ... after learning that she has a heart condition in August .. that would need surgery soon after birth in December; it was a fast paced, hectic time to say the least.  Baby is home with her parents and big brother.  The whole event brought back so many memories 15 years ago when we welcomed our youngest son, Nathan, that needed TLC and surgeries after his birth.  Such challenges try the soul .. and create unimaginable strength.  Life goes on and we have to adjust.  May the new year bring you strength to face the possible challenges ahead in 2012.  Always be prepared, learn a new skill to help you survive whatever economic/health/weather storms may be on the horizon.

Such challenges try the soul .. and create unimaginable strength.

How appropriate her words are.


We never know what lies ahead, so her words "Always be prepared..." are words of wisdom for all of us to heed.

However, I believe that nobody can ever be fully prepared for the passing away of a loved one.

There is dignity in grief, and I know about walking alone through the valley of mourning. There are no adequate words for it.


Mrs. Mac doesn't know this, but she is one of my modern days heroes. I am one of her secret admirers.

If you ever have an opportunity to read her blog, you will have nothing but great admiration for this mighty woman of God. She has a 15 year old special needs child, Nathan - and her blog is full of stories about how she and her family have weathered this storm, and has helped them tap into an inner strength they never knew they had!

Mrs. Mac lives in North Idaho, "Snowmageddon" she calls her place during the wintertime. It really is a picture pretty place - near Coeur d'Alene and Post Falls, one of the few places I would love to visit in my lifetime.

She grows her own vegetables, maintains her home well, she bakes, cans most of what the family eats for the winter season, churns her own butter... she even makes her own laundry detergent - from scratch.

She has no time to wallow in self-pity - her daily life is full of things to do.

Yet she finds time to nurture her family relationships -- with her husband, Mr. Mac, and each of her children, including her grandchildren, Jacob and Rowan.

Facebooking has become quite an indispensable and important part of modern day communication... but you won't find me there.

I have stuck to blogging, because this is where I can pour my heart out (when I give myself time to do so), and allows me to share with whoever cares to know the recent happenings in my life and in my relationship with my heavenly Father.

Not only that, blogging has helped me connect and be in touch with the heart and soul of my blog friends.

"Mrs. Mac" (Cathy in real life) is one of such blog friends. We may not always have the time to leave comments on each other's posts, and Mrs. Mac probably doesn't know that I visit her blog place more often than she is aware of it.

But on this post, I do want to go out of my way to honor this dear woman for the beautiful way she has raised her children, equipping them for events such as this one.

I know her heart is breaking, but her faith is strong.

My heart bleeds for her daughter Katie, Rowan's mom. Her deep pain over this loss will never be felt by anyone else - except God alone, of course, and probably her own mother, Mrs. Mac.

Yet I also mourn in my own way. Ever since I received news of Rowan's homegoing, I have found myself in tears off and on. Not only me, many of us in the Scarf Sisterhood (Cathy's blog friends) have felt the same way. A common thread runs through our lives which has united us all in this season - praying for Baby Rowan... and now, grieving with her family.

Rowan Tree Berries

 photo source

It amazes me how much love there is in our hearts for one another - and most of us have never even personally met... only in the blog neighborhood do we "visit" and get to know each other.

It is really like heaven on earth, this kind of friendship.

Because in heaven, the language we speak is not the language of spoken words.

The language of heaven is feelings. Here on earth, I have to use so many words to make myself understood... but then I am fortunate to have a few friends who know how I feel without my having to use words. It is the language of intuition.

So to my dear Mrs. Mac, Mr. Mac, Katie, Ryan and the rest of the family ... as you put dear Baby Rowan's earthly body to rest this weekend, and as you go through your valley of grief for this season, know that I am keeping you close to my heart.

In the area of our deepest pain, God comes to bring healing, comfort and strength. I have experienced this first hand when my beloved Ernie went home to heaven four years ago.

God is near to the broken hearted... precious in His eyes is the death of His saints.

He keeps our tears in a bottle.

May our Father, the God of All Comfort, come alongside your family in this season of mourning.

He is the God who promises to make all things beautiful in His time.

Heaven is our hearts' true home - there God will wipe away every tear from our eyes. And in that land, there are no goodbyes.


To Baby Rowan (A tribute I wrote on the Scarf Sisters blog)
Rowan's Story (written by her mom, Katie)
Baby Rowan (Katie's account of her baby's homegoing)

Rowan Tree - Meaning

photo source

Entering A Season of Acceleration

Night Runners

photo source

If you have raced with men on foot
    and they have worn you out,
    how can you compete with horses?

- Jeremiah 12:5

 “Behold, the days are coming,” says the Lord,
“When the plowman shall overtake the reaper,
And the treader of grapes him who sows seed;
The mountains shall drip with sweet wine,
And all the hills shall flow with it.”

 - Amos 9:13

Upon arriving in Manila from our ministry trip abroad, I spent three days with my daughter Obedient One before returning to my Bacolod City home.

I had been away from my home for more than a month.

Things happened one after the other when I got back:

there were birthday celebrations,

dear friends to share a cup of coffee with,

the weekly devotional lessons on the book of Daniel for the women's group in church were resumed, 

and First Born's recent accomplishment -  a brand new MBA diploma - called for a special family celebration. 

By God's grace, I also conducted a two-day inspirational retreat for the teachers of our church school in early June.

God alone be given glory for what He enabled me to accomplish.

The first thing I noticed when I reached home was that my plants were all overgrown. But it was only a week after I arrived that I found the time to tend my garden.

Sadly, all my plants near the iron fence of the garden was covered with sticky black soot. They discovered it one morning, a week before I got back. My son's explanation seemed the most plausible one. Probably, while no one was at home, an irresponsible driver had chosen to park by our fence to illegally clean his truck's exhaust pipe, dumping all that black substance into the atmosphere. The white myrtle trees were budding, but had become covered with soot. Many of the blooms had fallen off prematurely. Everything in that part of the garden was ugly - the Australian bushes, the pink myrtles, the asparagus ferns, the potted bougainvilleas.

But rather than be dismayed over what happened, I chose to look at it as an opportunity to prune the affected plants, removing all traces of the soot and the greasy residue. 

My maid and I spent two mornings in the garden and when we finished, I was quite happy with the results. 

The past weeks, I had also been having vivid dreams about death.

However, instead of being weighed down by these dreams, I would wake up each morning with a sense of renewed hope. It seemed like God was exposing to me areas in my life and relationships that He wanted me to lift up to Him.

God is never intimidated by the dark areas of our lives - rather He stands ready to instill strength, courage and hope into our hearts.

He is the God who brings order out of chaos and emptiness.

The day after my 59th birthday last March, I made a fresh resolve to choose my friends carefully.

Father God was bringing me to a season of pruning, giving me the desire to choose the words I speak, and to choose the people whom I will allow to speak into my life.

It  felt good to take such a stand. 

These are the last days; there is much work to be done. It seems like we're only scratching the surface. And, whether people are aware of it or not, the season of acceleration is upon us.

Therefore say to them, "Thus says the Lord God:  

'None of my words will be delayed any longer, 

but the word that I speak will be performed,'

declares the Lord God." 

- Ezekiel 12:28

This is a season of breakthroughs upon breakthroughs, a season of cleaning up, and removing what stands in the way.  It is also a season of knowing what God considers His kingdom priorities and partnering with Him in what He is doing.

This is why I had a sense that I was tired of hearing unnecessary words, either from my own mouth, or from others.

During our eighteen days of ministry, God spoke specifically that He will work powerfully through the worship connection - deep is calling unto deep, He wants to strengthen the heart to heart connection.

He also spoke specifically through Isaiah 61, that we are called in this season to receive

a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair (Isaiah 61:3).




The garment of praise is never to be taken off, because in an atmosphere of worship, gossip and evil speaking cannot co-exist.

A filter around my mind is my safeguard against evil thoughts and evil speech:

...whatever things are true, 

whatever things are noble, 

whatever things are just, 

whatever things are pure, 

whatever things are lovely, 

whatever things are of good report, 

if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—

meditate on these things. 

-Philippians 4:8

These past years I have been in a certain difficult relationship where I've been wrongly accused, and much as I have done my best to work at reconciliation, I realize that the healing is no longer up to me. Having done all I can, I sense in this season that God is giving me permission to let go and move on.

I have decided to quit trying.

Again this kind of determination gives me such a feeling of  freedom, of being released from my own human efforts to look good in the eyes of men.

Ultimately, it is what God thinks about me that matters.

In this season of acceleration, nothing must be  allowed  to distract or derail God's purposes for my life.

Well, here I am, back in Manila again. My plane ticket for this trip was purchased a few months ago, even before the dates for our ministry trip were finalized.

Now I realize that my time here will be mostly unstructured. What a welcome transition point to spend time in God's presence and seek more of what is on His heart as the first half of this year draws to a close.

God is birthing new things in my spirit -  He hovers, He broods, He dwells in my darkness... the unresolved issues of my life.

I like how Barbara Yoder puts it: "No darkness, no confusion, no problem has the final word.... God, who is Life, and Light, has the final word."

He brought me out into a spacious place;

He rescued me because He delighted in me...

You are my lamp, O LORD;

the LORD turns my darkness into light.

- Psalm 18: 19, 28