A Road Named Compassion

"Early Morning Sagada"
Sagada, Mountain Province, Philippines
by Jojo Nicdao

photo source





He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?
- Micah 6:8





Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!”
The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.

- Lamentations 3:22-26

“On that day I will raise up
The tabernacle of David, which has fallen down,
And repair its damages;
I will raise up its ruins,
And rebuild it as in the days of old;
That they may possess the remnant of Edom,
And all the Gentiles who are called by My name,”
says the Lord who does this thing.

“Behold, the days are coming,” says the Lord,
“When the plowman shall overtake the reaper,
And the treader of grapes him who sows seed;
The mountains shall drip with sweet wine,
And all the hills shall flow with it.
I will bring back the captives of My people Israel;
They shall build the waste cities and inhabit them;
They shall plant vineyards and drink wine from them;
They shall also make gardens and eat fruit from them.
I will plant them in their land,
And no longer shall they be pulled up
From the land I have given them,”
Says the Lord your God.

- Amos 9:11-15

My last entry for this weblog was written twenty days ago. It was my intention to write an end-of-the-month post to recapitulate the events of March, and to give the month a name, but I didn't want to force myself to do it then.

There were just too many things going on at that time, and as much as possible, I never want to do a hastily written, haphazard, half-baked blog post.

Now that I have more time, I can re-visit the events of the past weeks and share what God has been speaking to me.

On March 30, just seven days after my return to Bacolod, I was back in Manila. My cousin Bobby was celebrating his 70th birthday on April 1, and he and his wife Girlie were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary as well. Bobby is my first cousin on my father's side of the family; he and I are the only ones from our extended family residing here in the Philippines. The four other first cousins, including my only sister, live with their families in Canada and the USA.

Bobby and Girlie moved to the southern part of the Philippines with their two young children in 1971 when I was only 18 years old. That was over forty years ago. Since then we have seen one another only a few times.

Bobby and Girlie, on their 50th wedding anniversary

This was a good reason to return to Manila, and I am so glad I did.

Bobby and Girlie's eldest daughter Isabel, who is now a successful architect in Maryland, USA, was back home for the special occasion.

Isabel and her American husband, Tom

It was so good to be able to reconnect with her and with the rest of my nephews and cousins.

Three generations: Bobby, his son Jay, and Jay's son Gab.
Jay and Gab are almost carbon copies of Bobby. Amazing!

Bobby and Girlie with their whole family:
Nick (Isabel's son), Toni, Gab and Jay,
Isabel and Tom, Tommee ( youngest son of Bobby and Girlie),
Chinee and Tom-tom, children of Peggy and Butch (Bobby and Girlie's eldest son)

My first cousin Fred and his wife Leila who reside in British Columbia, Canada, were also in Manila. What a blessed opportunity it was for me to be with my side of the family again.

Obedient One, me, my first cousin Fred and his wife Leila

Three first cousins: me, Bobby, and Fred

Compassion...

Grace...

Mercy...

In the less than perfect circumstances of my life, God grants me many opportunities to experience His perfect grace and His abundant mercy.

My only sister was in Manila for almost four months and we had a special time of bonding and reconnecting with each other.

Having been with beloved members of my extended family is just one of the many gifts God has given me this month.

In mid March, Amber Smith, daughter of my blog friend Rebecca (of Life and Godliness) was in Manila for a ministry trip, and we met!

Amber and me

Also in mid March, my friend Louella who now lives in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, was in town for a few weeks, and we took time to see each other, even for just a few hours.

with Louella

When I arrived back in Bacolod on March 23 after my month-long stay in Manila, a garden in full bloom was waiting for me. The days had been sunny in the morning and rainy in the afternoon, providing the perfect combination that plants love. Worshiper and Chosen One had also started a small vegetable garden.

At the Bacolod Silay Airport
"I Love Bacolod" - where the sky is always blue and air is always fresh!

My family, and especially my grandsons Forerunner and Full of Hope, were so delighted to see me!

My dear dogs looked healthy and well cared for.

It felt so good to return to a home that was very clean, surrounded by an atmosphere of love and peace.

My best friend Melanie arrived from Virginia USA on the second week of March. It was a special treat to have her around on my 59th birthday.

The former president of Maejo University in Chiang Mai, Thailand, Dr. Thep Phongparnich, was in Bacolod City for a few days toward the end of March. He was conferred the degree Doctor of Humanities honoris causa by the West Negros University. My sister in law Sue gave a testimonial dinner in his honor and the evening was such a beautiful event, with Filipino dances, songs, and testimonial speeches.

Seated: Dr. Thep and his colleagues
Standing: me and Diana Jantakad, Dr. Thep's Filipina secretary

Our family really looks up to Dr. Thep, for it was during his term that Ernie served in Maejo University for a whole year as a foreign consultant, having set up the curriculum for the International MBA program for the university during that time.

On March 27, my birthday, I literally had a whole day celebration of my special day. My dear friends Melanie, Buddy, Trudi, and Pat came over for breakfast.

Melanie's birthday gift for me, a special necklace (see close up picture below)

My family celebrated the occasion with me by preparing a special lunch.


In the afternoon my friend Melanie, Miriam and I had coffee and pastry at our favorite coffee place, Starbucks.




And in the evening, my dear ministry team family prepared a special birthday dinner for me.

Nikki, Trudi, Ruby, Minerva
me and Pat

It really turns out this way almost each year - my birthday seems such a special event that is celebrated in a special way!

During my brief five-day return trip to Manila, I was able to treat my dear friends Tina, Rosemarie, and Donna to a delightful birthday lunch at our favorite restaurant, the Cyma Greek Taverna in Greenbelt, Makati City.

Clockwise: Rosemarie, Donna, me and Tina

Rosemarie's birthday gift for me, One New Man Bible

On the eve of my return to Bacolod, Rosemarie, Tina, Donna, and I, together with a few other friends spent a night of worship at Rosemarie's home. We listened to Ruth Fazal's anointed CD entitled Joy in the Night. We were on our knees as we worshiped our God and King. It was a wonderful ending to my brief stay in Manila.

On April 4 I returned once again to my home city of Bacolod. The next day my only daughter Obedient One arrived on the dawn flight from Manila. Although she had not yet slept, she joined our whole family for an early lunch at the local beach where we feasted on steamed baby oysters and grilled tilapia and young coconuts.

God given and Forerunner

Obedient One and Full of Hope

The local beach is not the best there is in this country, but I really love this beach for its memories.

Grandsons with their Nana

It is here where Ernie and I would go every Saturday... yes, that is right, we went to this beach E-V-E-R-Y Saturday for the first twelve years of our married life. At the start it was just the two of us, then First Born came into the picture... then Worshiper... and then Obedient One was born. Saturday was our special family beach outing day, and through the years we had acquired a wide assortment of beach paraphernalia like toy buckets, plastic shovels, beach chairs, hammocks, a portable radio, and beach tableware. Name it, we had it.

Worshiper and Chosen One

That local beach in Punta Taytay is indeed a place full of warm memories for me.


On Good Friday our family had our Passover meal. We were complete as a family, and my friend Melanie and her husband Edward were also with us.

Passover candles, Edward (Melanie's husband) in background

me and Melanie, after the Passover meal

On Resurrection Sunday morning we went to the early sunrise worship service at our church. The songs we sang were so meaningful, as was the word that was preached... then good coffee and breakfast for everyone were served after the service.

Obedient One with her two sisters in law

We had a Resurrection Sunday family lunch at the home of Ernie's sister Sue.

God given and First Born

My three children: First Born, Worshiper and Obedient One

Obedient One with her Aunt Lei

Indeed, that day was such a special time of remembering the Lord's resurrection.


The month of March was really beautiful... full of touching reminders of God's mercy and grace.


Compassion... This is the name of the road I have travelled on these past weeks.

Our Creator God never designed us to carry heavy burdens. Whatever our life circumstances have been in the past, whatever painful experiences we have gone through, even if certain people have been unkind, unfaithful, or unfair to us... none of these is a statement of our true value in the eyes of God our Maker.

I am a person of eternal worth in my Father's eyes!

His heart is full of compassion for you and me. His heart is overflowing with love, and He is always finding ways to communicate that love to us.

Jesus invites us to come to Him, to cease from striving, and understand what it means to rest in Him.

The One New Man Bible puts it beautifully:

You must immediately take My yoke upon you,
and you must now learn from Me,
because I am gentle and humble in my heart,
and you will find rest in your lives:
for My yoke is pleasant and My burden is insignificant.

- Matthew 11:29, 30

My yoke is pleasant.

My burden is insignificant.

This burden spoken of by Jesus is literally described "light as a feather" in the original Greek.

As I look back over the past weeks the impression I am receiving is that God's heart is brimming over with compassion for me, and His desire is to let me, His daughter, be keenly aware of the goodness flowing out of His heart.

Whatever conflicts or difficulties we may have experienced in life are definitely not part of His plan or His design. These come possibly as a consequence of our own disobedience or wrong choices... or of other people's wrong decisions that have somehow affected us. Difficulties could also come because of a demonic attack or assignment against us or our loved ones, but never does affliction or adversity come from the heart of God.

He may allow hardships for a season, but always... always... for a divine reason. And I have learned not to give doubt or bitterness any room in my heart when the going gets rough. God is ever near, and His hand of compassion is always reaching out to me!

Yes, indeed... my heavenly Father's heart overflows with compassion! How He desires nothing but the best for each one of us who is called by His name!

And as a result, I am indeed thankful for how God continues to help me simplify my outlook in life. Travelling light... grateful for simple joys... and made happy by simple desires!

As March has come to an end, and April is almost halfway through, I am rejoicing for the way He has allowed me to experience His compassion. It's not that I have never felt it before... but somehow these past weeks I have seen God's kindness and generosity touching my life through the goodness of others!

more birthday gifts and cards

from my sister in law Faith

handwritten card from Trudi

from First Born and God given

from my friend Buddy

My sister gave me a special birthday gift. My sister in law Sue gave a birthday dinner for me on Resurrection Monday. My sister in law Faith sent a gift all the way from California. There were text messages, email, electronic cards as well. Very many blog friends sent greetings.

It's not really about me. It's about me experiencing the goodness of God in the land of the living.

He has put a song in my heart... strewn fragrant petals of gladness along the way ... He has filled my mouth with laughter!

These splashes of joy that have touched my heart these past weeks are but a tiny glimpse of what God is like! I am truly grateful that He is my God, and that He has called me by name.

My heart rests secure in this truth: There is a coming season of restoration and rest.

Although I wasn't able to write an end of the month post for March, it's not too late to give it a name.

I name the month of March Compassion.




My song for this part of my journey is a beautiful and powerful song by Lincoln Brewster, Power of Your Name. The lyrics and video are posted below. In the instrumental intro, Lincoln's grandmother plays the piano after which the percussive rhythmic beat, the actual sound of the heartbeat of his son Liam taken during a sonogram, is heard. This same beat is once again distinctly heard toward the end of the song as Darlene Zschech sings the chorus.

It give me goose bumps to listen to this song. I can't listen to it just once... something in me wants to keep listening to it, especially as I realize that no human being can make our heart beat so rhythmically... pumping the blood to nourish every cell in our body. It is an act of divine compassion and mercy and grace...

This song is a powerful reminder to me. Every morning, I am to be thankful for the life that I have been given... never to waste a single moment of it, but to use all of it to accomplish the specific assignment and kingdom purpose that God has for me.

Power of Your Name
written by Lincoln Brewster and Mia Fieldes

Surely children weren't made for the streets
And fathers were not made to leave
Surely this isn't how it should be
Let Your Kingdom come

Surely nations were not made for war
Or the broken meant to be ignored
Surely this just can't be what You saw
Let Your Kingdom come
Here in my heart

And I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name
The power of Your name

Surely life wasn't made to regret
And the lost were not made to forget
Surely faith without action is dead
Let Your Kingdom come
Lord break this heart

Oh, and I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name


Jesus Your name
Is a shelter for the hurting
and Your name
Is a refuge for the weak
Only Your name
Can redeem the undeserving
Jesus Your name
Holds everything I need

And I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see this world be changed
By the power of Your name

And I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name

The power of Your name...

Life Metaphor

photo source

Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

- Psalm 139:16

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.
Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot sweep it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of one’s house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

- Song of Songs 8:6, 7




“At that time,” declares the LORD,
“I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people.”

This is what the LORD says:

“The people who survive the sword
will find favor in the wilderness;
I will come to give rest to Israel.”

The LORD appeared to us in the past,saying:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
I will build you up again,
and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your timbrels
and go out to dance with the joyful.
Again you will plant vineyards
on the hills of Samaria;
the farmers will plant them
and enjoy their fruit.
There will be a day when watchmen cry out
on the hills of Ephraim,
‘Come, let us go up to Zion,
to the LORD our God.’”

- Jeremiah 31:1-6




Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

- Isaiah 40:28-31



Then Moses went up to God,
and the LORD called to him from the mountain and said,
“This is what you are to say to the descendants of Jacob
and what you are to tell the people of Israel:

‘You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt,
and how I carried you on eagles’ wings
and brought you to Myself.

Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant,
then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.
Although the whole earth is mine,
you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’

These are the words you are to speak to the Israelites.”

- Exodus 19:3-6

Tomorrow is my 59th birthday.

The 27th of March has always been a very special day, and March, a very special month for me.

I believe it is because ever since I was a little girl, this date has always been celebrated.

Yes, from the time I was born, my life has been celebrated.

I have seen pictures on my baby album... my mother and father beaming with pride over me their first born daughter. When I turned one year old, there was a huge birthday party, with over fifty guests present. There is even a handwritten list in my father's handwriting of all the gifts I received.

Then, every year thereafter, up to the time I turned 18, my birthday has been celebrated with a party.

I look back at all those years today... those years when I have been celebrated as a person. And I am humbled, and deeply touched.

Looking back, I can only feel my heart overflowing with thanksgiving for the kind of upbringing that God has provided for me.

As a child, just growing up and learning to find myself, I remember that I was a bit self-centered. Growing up, there were times when I felt I was merely being tolerated, not really fully loved, and often misunderstood. I remember that deep inside I had certain demands that life turn out for me as I wanted it to.

Well, I believe those feelings are normal of any young person.

My perspective began to change when God gradually revealed His plans for my life, revealed to me that He was my God and Creator... Redeemer and King.

In 1953, I was born into this world... but I know that God had conceived the idea of me and carried me in His heart for millenniums.

And so today, on the eve of my 59th year, my heart is brimming over with thanksgiving to God... for celebrating me.

He sent me parents, a sister, and aunts, uncles and cousins, dear friends... who celebrated and valued me as a person.

Then when the time was right, in 1978, He gave me a dear husband who celebrated me as well.

And today, on this my 59th birthday... I can say that I am surrounded by family members who love me and appreciate me: my two sons First Born and Worshiper, my daughter Obedient One, my daughters in love God-given and Chosen One, and my two grandsons Forerunner and Full of Hope/Mighty Warrior... and numerous friends who truly care.

I cannot ask for more, really.

My life may not be perfect in the eyes of some - but for me, the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places!

O Lord You are the portion of my inheritance
and my cup,
You maintain my lot,
The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes I have a good inheritance.

This is the cry of praise that is on my heart this early morning as I write this post...





And today I will do something very special: I will put into writing my life metaphor. This is the first time I will ever do it, because I haven't really thought much about what my life metaphor is.

I didn't even know there was such a thing as a life metaphor. But a month or two ago, during one Sunday morning, the words of my pastor, Joe Ascalon, struck my heart deeply. As he was giving the message, he asked this question: "What is your life metaphor?"

Off and on, during the quiet moments in the midst of the busyness of these past two months, I have found myself contemplating this question.

I couldn't figure out what my life metaphor was.

Because, really... we don't start out in life with our life goals clearly spelled out for us. These things just somehow begin falling into place, not really intentionally, but more as a consequence of our life choices.

I realize now that we all have a life metaphor that may not be clearly spelled out, but it is there as a motivating, guiding force that leads us.

Without our knowing it, there is an underlying life metaphor that begins to define us... who we are, what goals we reach for.

I returned to my home city of Bacolod last Friday after having been in Manila for 35 days - more than a month. Really, I felt like staying longer in Manila... but there were a number of important things for me to do here at the end of this month.

Now I realize that above all my reasons for coming back on Friday God had an important line for me to hear on Sunday morning. Yesterday, at church, Pastor Joe during his sermon, mentioned one line that caught my attention.

He said, "Establish a life statement and live it out."

Wham! It hit my heart again. Yes Lord, I hear You.

So, last night, I spent time in God's presence... listening to worship music, and thinking of some of my favorite verses.

And suddenly, I saw my life metaphor before me... not written in black and white, but in a picture - a picture of a long road... covered with clouds at some points, shrouded in mist at some points, many rocky places... a few rivers to cross over... meadows of beautiful flowers bathed with sunlight at some points... through valleys, through mountains... and at the end of it, so far away, was a place that filled my heart with such joyous anticipation.

It was my life metaphor... as clear as daylight to me.

My life is a journey to the heart of the One Who loves me.
My life is a response of love to that love.

Wow! I couldn't believe it. All I did was ask the Father to show me what my life metaphor was, and He showed me.

I woke up early this morning to write this post. I played my favorite worship songs...

And He is speaking to me now, not in audible words, but more as a truth realization, and as he "speaks" I am typing the words.

These are the impressions I am receiving:

Your whole life is a journey, a sacred pilgrimage that takes you nearer and closer to the heart of the One who loves you with an everlasting love... My heart!

Your life is a lifetime of drawing near to Me, longing for more of Me, hungering to know Me more, and seeking to obey Me.

And as you are seeking, you are receiving.

What you want, what you long for the most, is what you receive... in full measure, and way beyond what you ask or imagine.

For I am the God who sees your heart. I am the God of the multiplication... who rewards the one who seeks Me beyond what your eyes can see, or what your mind can comprehend.

Your life is a fragrant offering of worship to me. Imperfect as you think the circumstances of your life have been, I am the God who holds the imperfect pieces of your life in My eternal hands.

Your life is not a struggle or a striving... Your life is a river flowing... Your life is a dance... your life is a song.

I have created you not for striving... but for rest.

And indeed you are loved by others... because out of your heart flows My love and My compassion for them! In your eyes are reflected the love of My heart for this dying world. And yet it is never a burden for you... never too heavy for you to carry.

I want you to continue living and abiding in My love as you journey closer to your heavenly eternal home. You impart My peace... you impart My rest... you impart a sense of shalom... you create an atmosphere of worship... in the lives of people to whom I send you.

Amen and amen. So be it, dear Father. So be it, my Lord.

As I journey down this road, I want to be a voice of hope, a ray of light, a word of encouragement, a helping hand, a messenger of faith, a speaker of truth...

I want to be a reflection of the Father's heart...


At this very moment, out of my heart flows a response of love to His invitation for me to keep drawing near to Him!

His words are so clear, and minister deeply to my heart. Heaven is a topic so dear to my heart, it really is a place I am longing to see!

Below are three of my favorite songs for this season, in response to what God has spoken to me.

I pray that you will take time to listen to the songs, and that as you do so, your time spent today on this blog will be a time of personal encounter with the Living God, the One who loves you with an everlasting love.

Oceans Will Part
by Hillsong

If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I'm blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I'll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Oceans Will Part

Eagle's Wings
Hillsong

Here I am waiting
Abide in me I pray
Here I am longing for You
Hide me in Your love
Bring me to my knees
May I know Jesus more and more

Come live in me
All my life take over
Come breathe in me
And I will rise
On eagles wings

Here In Your Presence
New Life Worship


Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom arestanding amazed

Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

Here In Your Presence


Watch New Life Worship sing this awesome song of worship (YouTube)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

- Jeremiah 29:11

This post is lovingly dedicated to my pastor, Joe Ascalon.
Today, I want to say that I love you, and I honor you, and I respect the kingdom assignment that God has called you to do.

Taking Time to Remember

Chiang Mai, Thailand
September 2008

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits...

- Psalm 103:2





...there is a deeper need yet, I think, and that is the need—not all the time, surely, but from time to time—to enter that still room within us all where the past lives on as a part of the present, where the dead are alive again, where we are most alive ourselves to turnings and to where our journeys have brought us. The name of the room is Remember—the room where with patience, with charity, with quietness of heart, we remember consciously to remember the lives we have lived.

- Frederick Buechner
from A Room Called Remember: Uncollected Pieces

Thirty four years ago today, Ernie and I were married.

Our earthly covenant of marriage ended on the day my dear husband went home to heaven a little over three years ago.

We celebrated our thirtieth and last wedding anniversary together in Chiang Mai, Thailand in 2008.

Unknown to both of us, that last year together was orchestrated by God to be the most beautiful, and most meaningful year of our life together.

I still cannot fathom the goodness of God in providing me with all those memories to keep me warm in the cold and lonely days ahead, helping me deal with my loss.

As I have always written, when Ernie passed away, the grief I experienced did not cripple or devastate me. I was carried by a sense of hope that everything was happening according to an eternal purpose; God knew what was going on. And I knew that Jesus by His own death and resurrection has already conquered death as an enemy.

Nevertheless the pain was deep...gut-wrenching... and can never be put into words.

Honestly, no matter what others say, there is still a little corner in my heart where the grief quietly sits.

But hope is a powerful healer, and here I am today, taking time to remember Ernie on this special day.

The remembering is not with sadness or pain, although I write these words with tears in my eyes.

As I remember my husband, thanksgiving overflows from my heart of hearts, for it's not often that a woman is gifted with a husband the way this man had been a husband to me.

Again, words are never good enough.

All I can say is that it's a great honor for me to have been Ernie's wife. I am truly grateful for having shared his life for thirty plus years. In God's wisdom, my husband was taken home to heaven because his earthly purpose has already been fulfilled. However, there are still many things left for me to do.

March 2012 begins a new and important season in my life; I do not want to miss any of the opportunities God is giving me to walk with Him, and join Him in the kingdom work that still needs to be done.

Today is a good day to pause, and to remember... to reconnect with a point in my past, and to see, as Buechner aptly puts it, where my journeys have taken me.


A month has already gone by, and I am still here in Manila.

On the last Sunday of February I was asked to deliver the message at my friend Alberto's church. It was impressed upon my heart to speak on the topic of becoming an overcomer bride in these last days.

That really is the message I carry in my heart as I have entered this new season.

My intercessor friends and I have met several nights each week to listen to prophetic messages, and to have extended times of worship and intercession for our nation, and for Israel.

God's been showing me that extreme care is needed in dealing with the prophetic... to stay close to His word, to let the prophetic function in my life in a pure way.

As citizens of heaven, we really can live in the realm of glory where God reveals kingdom secrets to those whose hearts are ready.

But He will not entrust His secrets to blabber mouths. We have to know how to handle prophecies and divine revelation. It is easy to always be opening our mouths, spilling out words, dreams, and visions, that God only intended to be kept in our hearts, to simmer, to brew, and to be released through a divine filter of Godly understanding and discernment.

He also will not entrust His secrets to anyone who is not willing to pay the price... of putting God first, of seeking Him above all. Other earthly matters are important, but they fade in comparison to the things of God's kingdom.

Will I be as an end time servant whose lamp is always burning and whose waist is always girded in anticipation of the Master's return?

Or am I distracted, driven by earthly goals, pursuing my own agenda, while the King waits to be heard and obeyed?


Two weeks ago, my daughter Obedient One fell ill, and I realized that it was an attack of the evil one on her because she had chosen to believe many lies about her identity and destiny.

She had just recently come out of a relationship that left her weak and vulnerable to enemy schemes.

My authority as a priest over my family had to be exercised as God ministered emotional healing to my daughter through me, enabling her to break agreement with the enemy, dethrone false gods, and to dis-empower word curses that have been released to her.

God opened the way for her freedom, to be released from a subtle spirit of manipulation and control.

God led us to a throat specialist who took laser images of the affected area and gave a correct diagnosis of what had been ailing her the past weeks. After a daily dose of praise and worship and speaking faith declarations over her life, together with the medications prescribed by her doctor, Obedient One has now fully recovered.

Her joy has returned. And a fresh determination to walk in the purposes of God for her life has also been imparted to her as well.

This is my season of reclaiming land from the enemy.

Today as I remember my wedding day, it is with a renewed passion to advance God's kingdom that I move on.

God's words to me today are also His words of encouragement for this special season:

My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me.”

- Song of Songs 2:10-13

Ernie at 61
November 2, 2007
Khum Khantoke, Chiang Mai, Thailand

At Maeo University entrance
Chiang Mai, November 2007

With Obedient One who visited us in Chiang Mai in 2007 for Ernie's 61st birthday

At Maesa Elephant Camp, Chiang Mai, Thailand, November 2007
This is the Ernie I will never forget - that huge smile and those sparkling eyes!

Walking Street, Thapae Gate, Old City,
Chiang Mai, Thailand
December 2007

With Worshiper who visited Chiang Mai in 2007 to be with his dad on his 61st birthday

Still at the Maesa Elephant Camp

With eldest son First Born and first grandson, Forerunner
Three generations - grandfather, son, and grandson
Back in Bacolod City, taken when our first grandson was only a week old
October 27, 2008

Ernie at 62
Ernie's last birthday, November 2, 2008

Maejo University welcome arch

There is joy in remembering...

Remember, by Harry Nilsson

Heaven Unveiled

On the road to Subic

March 1, 2012

And He said to them,

"Go into all the world and preach the gospel

to every creature.

He who believes and is baptized will be saved;

but he who does not believe will be condemned.

And these signs will follow those who believe:

in My name they will cast out demons;

they will speak with new tongues;

they will take up serpents;

and if they drink anything deadly,

it will by no means hurt them;

they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."

So then, after the Lord had spoken to them,

He was received up into heaven,

and sat down at the right hand of God.

And they went out and preached everywhere,

the Lord working with them

and confirming the word through the accompanying signs.

Amen.

- Mark 16:15-19

February was clearly an end of a season for me.

This was confirmed when the cloud began to move in my life, signifying that it was time for me to pull up my tent pegs, fold the canvas, and follow.

It takes a certain amount of willingness... to be on the lookout for what God is doing. And then to obey.

It's not always easy, but the obedience part will always have its rewards.

For one thing, life gets less complicated.

And God's always bringing us to the place where we let go of encumbrances, the weights that hold us down... because the less structured life becomes, the easier it is to follow His cloud when it begins to move.

Get out of your country,
from your family,
and from your father's house to a land that I will show you.
- Genesis 12:1

This was the clear word of God to Abram, and it was a rhema word for me as well. First spoken to me years ago, it was being spoken to me again... a fresh reminder that I am to move out of my places of comfort, and follow Him to a much better place that He was preparing for me.

It sounds like a literal place, but I know that my comfort zone does not only refer to the physical and the natural.

I often get the feeling that God never wants us to become too comfortable.

As long as we are on this earth, there will be no sense of permanence. Everything is in transition...

And as another season of renewal and restoration is upon me, I realize that there are certain places that I need to return to, that God may have freedom to do a clean closure in those areas of my life.

In this season, my heavenly Father is giving me opportunity to break old cycles.

I welcome the change.

On the very first day of March, my friend Rosemarie and I, together with two other friends, were on our way to Subic to attend a three-day prophetic conference entitled, Gazing Into Glory.

How awesome is that?

And when the keynote speaker said these words, "You're here because you want more," I knew I was in the right place.

Because I was at a point in my life where I really wanted more.

I'd been feeling the need to receive a fresh understanding of what faith is all about, for this stage of my sacred pilgrimage.

Many of us hold on to a twisted understanding of faith, but God wants to simplify matters for us.

Faith isn't really about quantity, but often, that's what we've been taught and made to believe.

When Jesus talked about mustard seed faith, He was talking about a kind of plant that started very small, but eventually took over the whole garden. A mustard seedling is a fast growing plant that chokes everything out.

In this season I am asking God to pour that kind of high quality faith into my heart... a faith that takes over all areas of my life.

Not measured, not contrived... but a faith that trusts completely in God.



Many fresh truths were downloaded into my spirit during the conference and I came away feeling ten feet taller!

As a child of the King, heaven is my birthright. As a citizen of that eternal kingdom, I am living right now in the realm of glory.

The enemy deceives, and the things of earth distract.

In our heart of hearts we crave for spiritual realities. But I need not contend for or chase after something that is already mine... All I need do is to enforce it!

And God is opening our eyes to behold these realities in greater measure. He is maturing the quality of our faith, training us to discern the true from the false, all in preparation for His glorious return.

After an extended time of pure worship, we opened our eyes and found gemstone crystals on the carpet.

One of the speakers mentioned that the river banks of heaven are filled with gemstones and precious crystals.

Heaven resonates with pure worship!

In these last days, God is bringing heaven to earth to give us a tiny foretaste of what His kingdom is like.

And He is ushering in a season of the miraculous... signs and wonders to counteract the tide of doubt and unbelief.

The supernatural is part and parcel of who our God is.

To those who believe, heaven is being unveiled before our very eyes.

I took this picture of a portion of Subic Bay during an early morning stroll in front of our hotel.

A gemstone crystal, a souvenir from heaven.

Main speaker, Bruce Allen, and his wife Reshma.

Subic Bay Yatch Club, at dusk

A group picture with some of the conference speakers

John and Ruth Filler from The Gateway Church in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho

More about Subic Bay area here

A Healing Journey

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11

Today February 2012 comes to an end.

I name this month Rophe, the Hebrew word for "healer."

I still find it hard to believe how the recent events in my life unfolded the way they did, but I know that someday, in eternity, I will understand the real story behind the scenes.

Six months ago, I entered a season which required my daughter and me to leave a treasured place of comfort, my father’s home... the home where I grew up, where every room is filled with warm and beautiful memories.

I spent long hours in God’s presence, asking Him to show me the way He wants me to go, and specifically, to provide us with a place of His choosing.

In an amazing chain of events, by the end of September, within just four weeks, my daughter and I had packed up, bought all the new stuff that she needed for her new place, and moved into a tiny studio not too far from where we used to live.

I say "amazing" because in September 2011, I was in Manila only on the first and last weeks of the month, and Obedient One was at work on weekdays; she only had the weekends off.

It was officially my daughter’s pad, but I understood that God had an important lesson not only for her, but also for me and the rest of my family.

I gave the place a name: My Rehoboth, Part 1.

In Genesis 26, Rehoboth was the name Isaac gave one of the wells that he dug. It literally means “Room Enough.” The place was tiny, but only in the physical sense. Moving into that place expanded my heart for what God was doing, and my heart was ready.

I therefore looked at this season as a very special season of refining, shaking, sifting, and pruning... for me. I have no doubt that my daughter had her own share of lessons, but that is a story she will have to tell herself. In this season, God was bringing me to a new path. I needed to walk close to Him that my heart may be kept soft and pliable, not hardened or vindictive.

The story of this stage of my spiritual journey is told, though not in specific details, in the blog posts I have written from July 2011 to the start of 2012.

I never expected things to start moving fast, but God was orchestrating everything...It was clear He had a different timetable. And as the spiritual strongman over my family, I knew my role was crucial. Being the spiritual gatekeeper, I wanted to be the trailblazer for a Godly path that my family and the generations after me would walk on.

God honored my prayers.

Yesterday, February 28, my daughter and I had our things packed and ready for our move... back to my father’s home.

I woke up feeling weepy. The tiny pad which I had named My Rehoboth, Part 1 had truly become home to us. Although my home is in Bacolod City, I visit my daughter in Manila so often that this city is a second home to me. Well, as the saying goes, home is where the heart is.

There was a feeling of deep connection to Obedient One's studio although she had only lived here for five months, and I had not even been with her all those months, since I'm around for only a few weeks each time I visit her.

Indeed it had become a place of healing, both for me and my daughter. The tiny cottage opens up to a garden of sorts... a rugged assortment of bushes, fruit trees, vines, potted bougainvilleas, ferns, a vegetable plot... and plenty of green grass. On any given day, there is a gentle breeze. The huge mango tree right beside our cottage gives off a cool moisture.

But once more, the cloud was moving, we had to pull up the pegs, and fold up our tent.

I had just finished my breakfast and the van that my friend Jing had so graciously provided for this move was arriving in a few minutes. As I stood at the kitchen sink, I happened to glanced up and the wall plaque hanging on the wall caught my eye.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord...

“Plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

TO GIVE YOU A FUTURE!

A gentle breeze blew through the window. I put down what I was doing, and welcomed the presence of God. Know that I am the God of your present, but I am also the God of your future... I am the God who gives you hope.

Yes, hope... a sense of good things happening.

Here is the prayer that Obedient One and I prayed during breakfast:

Thank You, dear Father for these past six months. Your presence has been real, and You never left us to figure things out on our own. You have guided us, provided for us...

You have given us a sense of peace, comfort, and well being in this place. We thank You Lord for this place, it has been a healing place for us...

You have been with us on our healing journey.

Now, as we say good-bye to this place, and to this month, our hearts are overflowing with thanks for what You have done. We are ready for the next level, dear God.

You are the God of our future... You are the God of hope!

George, my daughter's mini schnauzer

new leaves on the banana trees

moringa

green mangoes

this mango tree gives shade and coolness to our cottage

beautiful weeds

this is my daughter's pad... yes, we do our cooking outside

lovely yellow blossoms on the vine

the landlady's house

four o'clock afternoon flowers

more four o'clock afternoon flowers


lush ground cover

George's stuff - ready for the move

Father Heart: A Tribute

Jerry and Barb Osbron

Pastor Jerry Osbron passed from death to eternal life on Thursday morning, February 16, Philippine time.

Although we had known that he had been seriously ill the past weeks, still I received the news of his homegoing with deep sadness and grief.

Even if time and distance has separated Jerry from us these past two decades, there is that special place in my heart reserved for him alone.

Jerry, as many of us fondly call him, has always been like a father to me.

I first met him one Sunday many years ago, in mid June of 1979. My husband Ernie and I, only a year married, had just moved to Bacolod City that week. At the top of our priorities was to look for a God-honoring, Spirit-led church, one where solid Bible teaching and a vibrant worship experience were available... a church where our spiritual gifts could be honed for service, a local church providing spiritual authority and covering, one where we could grow as members of the local body of Christ.

We were welcomed at the door by a long-haired, medium built, American man. I will never forget the kindness of his face and the warmth of his smile. His handshake was firm and sincere.

As soon as we stepped into 18, 18^th Street, Ernie and I knew we were home. Somehow we knew... we had found what we were looking for.

As a newcomer to the city of Bacolod, almost 33 years ago, I was missing my mother and my father. My husband and his family were very kind to me, but the love of a good father can never really be given by anyone else.

Jerry became my spiritual father from Day One. He always will be.

And this is why, even as I rejoice that he is finally home, where he has longed to be, my heart grieves the death of this man who has loved me and my whole family with a love so selfless and so unconditional... I dare say, there will never be a person like him in my life.

I know that all of us who came under the shelter of his love feel the same way. He taught not so much by words as by example.

Nevertheless he was an anointed teacher. He was an avid student of the Book, and offered us golden nuggets of Bible truths Sunday after Sunday. His teaching was not meant to remain as mere information but challenged and fired us to apply what we heard in our daily lives. We never wanted to miss going to the worship services because we knew what was in store. Going to the 18^th Street church was always a worship experience. Jerry and Barb taught many of us how to worship God freely, openly, and from the heart. We were known as the Baptist Conference Church of Bacolod, but we were probably the only Baptists who raised our hands in worship in the early 1980’s.

We would have a different home Bible study every night of the week... the Monday nights at Tito Awi and Tita Apa Valderrama’s place, the Tuesday nights at Nora Tinsay’s... the Wednesday nights at Baby and Stella Mora’s.... Then on Sunday afternoons, a group of us gathered for what we called Body Life meetings at the living room of the Osbron Residence also on 18^th street.

And in between all those days, there would private counselling sessions with Barb and Jerry for our personal concerns. They never said “No” to any of us. They listened... they prayed. The welcome mat was always rolled out for us.

We felt loved... we felt accepted... we felt valued and cared for.

Jerry was often reprimanded by his leaders for being too “Charismatic” in his ways, but that did not deter him.

He opened his home for counselling to the city of Bacolod. He is a prime example of a second mile Christian. He would even give from his own pocket to help people who were in financial need.

When a daughter of one of us was attacked by malicious vandals, her name in bold letters written on the walls of her school together with some unkind adjectives, Jerry would wake up early in the morning to paint over those words.

From him we all learned what it meant to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.

From him we all learned what true forgiveness means... I will never forget what he said about forgiveness.

“You know you have forgiven when you touch the scar on your arm, and it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Even as I write these words, I cannot help my tears from falling.

He worked tirelessly, giving Bible studies to the farm workers of our members... one by one the outreach daughter churches were born...

He was a man who believed in advancing the Kingdom of God in this part of the world.

If there is one word that can describe Jerry Osbron, it is this word: father.

He walked his talk. He lived before us the Father heart of God.

When a friend of mine found out she was pregnant outside wedlock, she went to Pastor Jerry, broken by guilt and shame. What was his response? He put his arms around her, and said, “Dear daughter, you are not judged and condemned, you are accepted and loved as you are.”

He offered to baptize those who had chosen to follow Jesus through the waters of baptism, even if they were not going to become members of the church he pastored. He allowed open communion, meaning that any believer, be he a member of BCCB or not, was welcome to the Lord’s Table at this church.

Again, we knew that the leaders of his denomination had reprimanded him for this.

His reply? We have heard him say this often enough: “I would rather err on the side of mercy than on the side of judgment. For I am secure in my calling – first and foremost I am called to build the kingdom of God and bring people to heaven. It is never my desire to build my own kingdom.”

Words will never be enough to tell the many stories in my heart about this great man of God. Several times he and his wife had visited Ernie and me in the middle of the night, to help me deal with an angry, unforgiving heart. This example of kindness and love melted my heart to pieces.

Jerry was the person who gave me spiritual understanding when my heart was hungry for something more and something deeper. He said, “Your heart is hungry for the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Open your heart to him. He is going to help you soar above the clouds, way above conventional Christianity. Give Him permission to take you beyond the limits of your comfort zone.”

To this man, my mentor and spiritual father, I owe much of what I am today. He taught me how to turn to God for my spiritual hunger to be fed.

“I can only teach you so much. But God is a bottomless well of living water.”

He taught me how to be filled with the Holy Spirit, and how to be a prophetic intercessor.

He taught me how to unlearn the cerebral Christianity that I held on to in spiritual pride... instead, he showed me the path of emptying my heart, that it may be filled with true spiritual riches.

There is a special place of honor in my heart for this man. To me, he is one of God’s greatest gifts.

I will always be grateful to him for having been a model, but of course... the glory belongs to God alone.

Those of us who sat at the feet of Jerry Osbron for the fifteen years that he pastored the Baptist Conference Church of Bacolod can say with confidence that in truth, this man can be given credit for laying the strong and solid foundation of this local body of believers.

Pastor Jerry was a kingdom person. His life was a living sermon.

Farewell, dear and beloved Jerry. I know that the loving Father has already welcomed you into His presence, and I have no doubt that as He put His arms around you, He has already whispered in your ears, “Well done, good and faithful servant... welcome into your eternal rest.”

Though we are sad for the physical loss, our hearts rejoice that you have reached Heaven’s shores.

We will see you again in Eternity. Thank you for your life. You have been such a blessing to all of us, more than words could ever express.