New Wine, New Wineskins

 

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No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; 

or else the new piece pulls away from the old, 

and the tear is made worse. 

And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; 

or else the new wine bursts the wineskins, 

the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. 

But new wine must be put into new wineskins. 

- Mark 2:21-22

In keeping with His promise,

we are looking forward to a new heaven

and a new earth,

where righteousness dwells.

- 2 Peter 3:13

It's been a year since I last posted an entry.

The truth is that there was more than enough time to update this blog; there just wasn't enough motivation to do it.

Here I am finally, sharing in mostly general terms the state of affairs concerning my life. Or better still, sharing what I sense God is doing. 

The two months of 2021 have come and gone too quickly. Today as March begins, I must not stay away much longer. 

The 2 Peter 3:13 portion for my Quiet Time today confirms anew the word that God has placed on my heart these past weeks.

New.

Father has kept bringing this word up. It's not a mere coincidence that I keep bumping into it when I least expect it. Surely, God has a message for me that I cannot ignore.

This is what motivated me to open my blog again and write my very first post for this year 2021. Writing my thoughts down always helps me gain clarity. I absolutely agree with Flannery O'Connor who said: I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say.

The Father's word to me these past weeks just fills my heart with quiet anticipation. 

New. 

His ways are always new, just like His mercies, which are new every morning! 

I look forward to the new thing Abba is doing in my life.

New territories.

New conquests.

New realizations.

New perspectives.

By faith, Abraham obeyed when he was called

to go out to the place which he would receive

as an inheritance. And he went out

not knowing where he was going.

- Hebrews 11:8

That Hebrews passage was spoken to me in 2004 when I sensed that my years at the Christian Academy of Bacolod had come to an end. After eighteen years I was being given instructions to fold up my tent and move forward. 

It wasn't an overnight decision, and it required a depth of faith for Ernie and me to take that huge step of obedience.

The journey is far from over. Today as I plead with God and wait on Him for the answers to my ongoing prayers, I know that in giving me this word, He is also giving me a new assignment for 2021.

2020 was the pandemic year that prepared me for many things. I drank it all in, slowly, one drop at a time. Many of the realizations came as hindsight. But I took my time, didn't feel pressured to perform. Somehow I just "rested." After all, the world was on lockdown, and we couldn't go anywhere. The last time I was on an airplane was a year ago.

It doesn't mean I will suddenly shift to Martha mode, but I am now beginning to understand how 2020 was a preparation for 2021. 

Indeed, each season is a preparation for the next. 

It's a new year, it's a new season. 

I can't be on pandemic mode forever. This year it is all about getting up and being willing to leave the comfort zone, adjusting to the new normal, developing a new mindset, embracing a new spiritual worldview, acquiring new skills, and learning new strategies. 

These are essential if I am to navigate the uncharted territories that I feel God is opening up before me.

In September of 2020 William, the head of Family Foundations International-Philasia, caught the dreaded corona virus. Within a week of finding out he was infected, he passed away.

Just like that.

Nobody expected it. Nobody was prepared for it - not his wife, not his family, none of us who were fervently praying for and believing in his full recovery.

He passed away two days before Rosh Hashannah, the day that the year 5781 was to begin.

William's death came as a big blow to all of us in the ministry. He was a faithful man, leading by example, showing us what real humble servant-leadership looked like. He was filled with godly wisdom, never making a decision before being certain of what God wanted. A man of few words, William with his quiet presence exuded strength. We were secure in the clear sense of direction he gave. 

He was gentle yet firm. Compassionate yet discerning.

A leader too good to be true.

And then just like that, without any warning, he was gone.

A favorite line of ours went this way, "Aren't you glad to be doing the right thing with the right people for the right purpose and at the right time?" A huge void replaced this confidence and security that we enjoyed under his leadership.

I now understand how the apostles felt when Jesus died. 

When my husband Ernie passed away twelve years ago, for weeks (and months) after his death,  it seemed like I was surrounded by a deafening silence. Ernie and I could talk about anything and everything. Bedtime chats, followed by prayer for our concerns... Sometimes we were too sleepy to pray, sometimes we fell asleep in the middle of a sentence, but always this was the best time of my day. It gave my day a sense of closure and perspective. 

And so when he was gone, there was suddenly no one to talk to. My world became very quiet.

I never really had anyone to tell how I felt when Ernie passed away. It was just me and the Lord and this blog. 

Eventually I got used to the silence, partly because there was so much to attend to. Life does not stop when someone leaves earth for heaven. And if death is like a wound inflicted on those left behind, in a manner of speaking, there was no time for me to lick my wounds. In real life, you heal as you go.

When William suddenly passed away, it felt like that all over again, albeit in a different sense. He was not just a friend, he was like a father who always knew the answers. I felt orphaned. And of course, I wasn't the only one who felt this way. His wife lost a beloved husband, his children lost a father, we had all lost a friend, a mentor, a leader, a pillar of strength.

For many days, I sat in my rocking chair facing the open front door, and wept. For weeks I had no desire to do anything. I stopped reading my Bible. I stopped writing in my journal. I felt lost, searching for answers and a sense of direction. 

Someone untied the ropes from the moorings, and I was like a boat adrift at sea.

On September 18, 2020, two days after William's death, the year 5781 began. I have read up and taught on the significance and importance of this new year in the Hebrew calendar.

The number 80 is Peh in the Hebrew alphabet, represented by the picture of a mouth. The number 1 is Alef and is represented by the picture of an ox.  The symbolism is powerful. The mouth stands for declaration, and the ox stands for the fatherhood of God. We are in the decade of peh, and in the year of alef.

5781 is the year of declaring God's words. It opens the door to God's purposes for the coming year. It speaks of God’s intervention in human affairs. This is the year when there is a strong anointing to speak out the words of God and see them come to pass in our circumstances. We can boldly declare God as a covenant-keeping God as we receive and take hold of the promises that He has given. 

We just need to speak it out and declare it in faith, in a sense, making a pathway and walking on it.

But it was a dark and sad season for us at FFI-Philasia.

There were many changes even within our family. My daughter Obedient One could not come home for Christmas this year due to stringent travel protocols. Ernie's sister and brother-in-law had to be in Manila for medical reasons. And so our traditional Christmas big family gathering did not happen this year. 

Many things were different, and I truly missed the comfort and security of the familiar.

I was not spiritually, emotionally, or physically ready for any powerful prophetic 5781 declarations. It was all in my mind, but not in my heart.

Then New Year came in, quietly, without fanfare. The usual fireworks were conspicuously absent. Most families in my city did without the New Year festivities and merrymaking that would last until the wee hours of the morning.

Non-stop rains caused major flooding in some parts of our province on New Year's Day. 

If there was any glimmer of hope for better days ahead as we said good-bye to the pandemic year that was, it was undoubtedly dampened from Day One, to say the least.

January 2021 was rainy, bleak, and gloomy... a harbinger of what was ahead.

It did not help that a new variant of the virus was threatening to cause another round of  global lockdowns and anti-covid protocols.

Nor did it help that the USA, the world's strongest constitutional republic, was undergoing a severe political upheaval.

The Lord had actually given me a specific word as the year 2021 was about to begin:

Have I not commanded you? 

Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, 

for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

But I must confess... that word somehow got pushed to one far corner of my brain.

Gradually, and graciously, light broke through.

There was a day in mid-January when I read the John 2 account of Jesus turning water into wine. God spoke to my heart. 

He seemed to say: 

In your desperate end-of-the-rope situations, 

I can turn ordinary well water into the best top-of-the-line wine. 

Your best years are not behind you, 

they are in your present and in your future. 

I invite you to live this year with a sense of expectation, of hope, 

and to know Me as the God who makes all things new. 

Unquestioning obedience is the secret.

That was a turning point.

As the month of February began, I awoke one morning hearing these words with my spiritual ears, 

Moses my servant is dead.

Now therefore arise...

- Joshua 1:2

I knew exactly what those words meant. I knew who God was referring to, and it was not Moses.

First God speaks to me about unquestioning obedience and trusting Him to turn my insipid water into top quality wine. 

Next He tells me it is time to arise.

And also, that new wine must be poured into new wineskins.

One has to be pretty dense not to get it.

Or downright disobedient.

What amazes me is how Abba never gives up on me. His love is tenacious and steadfast. He never lets go. He is getting ready to pour new wine, but first I need to do something about this old and fully stretched wineskin.

Abba Father is inviting me to a new and higher level of relating to Him.

And as this is a very special month, being my wedding anniversary and birthday month, I can only say Yes to the invitation.

Thank You Father for the new motivation, the fresh invitation to discover a new facet of You, a new facet of You never before experienced.

Yes, You are the God Who makes all things new.

Thank You for Your unfathomable grace that always reaches out to me and offers me a brand new start.

It is not all about me... never has been.

It is and always will be all about You.

Now I can say that I am looking forward to what You have in store for me this 2021.