A Servant's Heart

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But Jesus called them to him and said, 

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, 

and their great ones exercise authority over them. 
It shall not be so among you. 

But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 

and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, 

even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, 

and to give his life as a ransom for many.” 

- Matthew 20:25-28

The month of June came to an end three days ago.

So here I am again, with the precious lessons of the past weeks safely tucked within my heart, just waiting to be translated into words.

As I have often said before, a blog post deserves more than just a few minutes of my time. It deserves intentionality. It requires a considerable chunk of time looking back at the past weeks, evaluating the significance of certain events, and co-relating the external circumstances with the inner landscape of my heart.

Only then can I begin putting it all into words in a way that gives it justice.

Only then can I give the month a name that sums up the main message God has spoken throughout the past days and weeks.

I realize that words are only a handle that enables us to express and communicate what is happening. It is awesome, this capacity to verbalize a spiritual, emotional experience. But just as no painter can adequately paint or draw a beautiful landscape as his eyes see it, so are words never good enough to describe the reality of a spiritual experience. We will always be limited by our humanness, so to speak.

There is, however, tremendous benefit in the effort made trying to understand and make sense of it all. Pieces in the divine puzzle of life are given as we journey on, and we need to pause from time to time to figure out where they fit in the grand scheme of things. Gradually we get an idea of the overall picture. But it is far from over. There is continuous growth, readjusting our faith lenses, discarding wrong mindsets, and embracing new perspectives.

So here I am again... delighted to find more pieces in this puzzle called life... delighted to find the right words to help me understand what is going on.

The greatest joy I have is in knowing I am never alone in this journey.

I spent the last three weeks of June in Manila, keeping my dear daughter company while her maid went home for her yearly vacation. For three weeks, I prepared meals, did the laundry, tended the garden, and kept the home clean.

And I looked after George, that lovable mini schnauzer, who was not feeling well when I arrived on June 10. As it turned out, I had to take him to the veterinary hospital three times during my entire stay, and followed a daily regimen of specially prepared meals and medication for him.

Happily, as of yesterday, the day I returned to my home city, George was already recovering. 

July 2, 2017

Daughter and me with her pet dog George, 

taken just before I left to go to the airport for my return flight to Bacolod City

An important development while I was in Manila was the pain in my right foot that I began to feel towards the end of the month. On June 23. I woke up with a painful and slightly swollen inner ankle joint.

This has brought another major change to my lifestyle. Now I cannot move as fast as I have been used to. Instead, I have to walk carefully, making sure I don't do more harm to my foot. I will seek medical advice for this in the coming days. But more than anything else, nothing stops me from believing in a healing miracle.

I am believing for healing not only for my physical body, but for many other areas of my personal life as well.

In the midst of ongoing personal battles, battles which are neither of my own making nor of my choosing but leave me with no other option but to face them, I believe God is the Ultimate Judge, and Jesus is my Advocate. Healing in this area is in store, this I believe.

As the spiritual watchman over our family, I am believing for breakthrough in specific areas of need in my children and grandchildren's lives.

For the ministries I am involved in, for my church, my city, my nation, for Israel... I am believing in God's sovereign provision, protection, and power.

On top of it all, I am still adjusting to a home situation where my domestic helper who has served our family well for the past twelve years can no longer work for me.

This is a season of learning to make wise use of my time, and determining daily which is truly important over what is merely urgent. (I wrote about this in a recent post on my Holy Ground blog at wordpress, entitled, Unlearning... to Make Room.)

We need daily wisdom not just for making decisions, but even in the emotions and attitudes that we entertain. Wisdom from above is needed to help us find meaning in the circumstances we find ourselves in.

There certainly is a reason why I am still alive at age 64. I don't want to miss the role God intends just for me in His kingdom purposes at this point in my life.


Indeed, the month of June holds many important lessons for me. But the greatest lesson I am learning is one that has something to do with having a servant's heart.

This is a continuing lesson that one never stops learning. I am often deeply struck by the words of Jesus to his disciples, that He did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.


To serve.

And to give His life.


Every day of His earthly  life, Jesus exemplified servanthood.

Serving and the giving of one's life go hand in hand. Yet, Jesus models for us many other qualities that define the heart of a servant. Like trustworthiness, humility, contentment, hiddenness, and brokenness.

We know very well the end of the story. Jesus came to earth in humility and obscurity, and after His resurrection, He was given glory and honor in heaven and a seat at the right hand of the Father.

There is a long and painful road to honor and glory.

It is the way of the cross, a constant reminder that the really important things I need to learn can only be learned the hard way.

Truly I am grateful to my Abba Father for the life He has given me. Looking back, I realize it was, and still is, a preparation for servanthood.

My sister and I were raised by parents who believed in hard work, and they modeled it for us. Even at an early age, we did not consider domestic chores as something to be disdained or done grudgingly, but a normal part of everyday life, something to be expected, and to even derive joy from.

We grew up seeing dignity in work. Our parents served us gladly, and taught us how to serve them in return. It was a give and take, and we were praised when we worked wholeheartedly, without cutting corners.

It must not have been easy for them to teach us, but they kept at it. The training I received in my growing up years complements the training God has been giving me ever since I became a Christian 44 years ago.

Jesus did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, and took the form of a servant when He came to earth.

John the Baptist said these famous words, in reference to Jesus Christ, "He is the One who comes after me, the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie." And he continues, "He must increase, but I must decrease."

...Although Jesus was God's son, he learned obedience through what he suffered.

...He who is first will be last.

...He who wants to be great in God's kingdom must learn to be the servant of all.

...Pride comes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

I could go on and on.

My life has had its share of ups and downs, gladness and sorrow. But the lessons on humility and brokenness get harder and harder, not easier.

Truly I understand that brokenness is God's way of purging deadly pride out of our systems.

And I understand that the way to greatness is narrow.

I also understand that before something can become an internal reality, we need to have external boundaries set up in our lives.

The trials and the difficulties we experience are the external boundaries that serve an eternal purpose.

Jesus was God's son, yet He willingly learned obedience through the things He suffered. What awesome words these are to me.

I am learning in reality what Paul means when he said, I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need (Philippians 4:12). This is the secret to contentment.

Not living with a sense of entitlement or having a grasping, demanding spirit, when things do not turn out the way we expect them to.

I was a moody girl when I was small and would go about with a long face when I did not get what I wanted. But Mama and Papa made it clear to me that there was no place for such attitude or behavior in our home. They did not permit complaining, whining, sighing, or grumbling.

And so whenever I read the Scripture passage in Philippians 2:14-15 that says, "Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,"  it is the voice of my parents that I sometimes hear.

In an age of instant everything, even instant information and instant "relationships", this present generation has not learned the virtue of waiting.

Information can be had at the swipe of a finger. There is no time for heart understanding, or developing deep friendships.

But I am truly thankful that my parents modeled for us the value of delayed gratification. There is great gain in learning to wait.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary,

And the young men shall utterly fall,

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

These are the thoughts going on in my mind as another month has come to an end. God my Father continues to teach me what it means to have the heart of a servant through the circumstances I am going through.

God has designed our hearts to submit, and to obey. But because of the Fall, the natural tendency is no longer submission, but rebellion; no longer humility, but pride and self-glorification.

Indeed, the appropriate name for the month of June is A Servant's Heart. And I welcome the lessons Abba Father is teaching me, even though they do not make life easy or convenient for me.

I trust that the Father knows what He is doing. He is the God of the Divine Exchange. And sometimes, God works in reverse.

Here is a beautiful song that I heard for the first time just about a week ago. It is the perfect song for this season of my life:

Reverse
by Greg Sykes

Beneath every doubt, there's redemption
Beyond what we see, He's at work
Before we believe, He hurts when we're hurting
He works in mysterious ways

Above all the chaos, there's order
After the fire He restores
At the end of the pain, His promise remains
He works in mysterious ways

[Chorus ]
So blessed are the poor and the powerless
All the weak and wounded made whole again
And even what the enemy has tried to use against me
God will use it for my good and for His Glory

[Bridge]
Sometimes He works, in reverse
He works, in reverse
He works, in reverse
He works, in reverse


What looks like the end, is the beginning
His kingdom's not of this world
When we surrender, that's when He takes over
He works in mysterious ways

And when it looks like it's over
He's just getting started
It's just the beginning

Sharing a few photos from my June photo files:

A Filipino dinner hosted by William and Ruby for our friends from
FFI Singapore, Pastor David Lee, his wife Hannah,
and Johnny Elijah Tan.  Our Cebu FFI Coordinators
Pastor Hann Layawan and wife Eva were also with us,
as well as Stef, William and Ruby's daughter,
my nephew Vince, his wife Rhea, and their son Caleb. 

A farewell coffee time with a dear Vietnamese sister Rose Ng 

who is leaving for the USA in just a few weeks.

Breakfast at Kuppa with dear friends Miriam and Melanie.

Worship song at Victory Katipunan on the day after I arrived in Manila. 

This is the prayer of my heart!

My daughter Obedient One and I celebrating Father's Day
at Hanamaruken Ramen in Trinoma Mall after church.
Honoring the fathers in our family:

my father, Ernie's father, my husband Ernie, and my two sons.

Sumptuous dinner with dear friends Lito and Maricel,
Ate Veronica, Ate Chita, Joji and daughter Joanna.
Photo was taken by my daughter.

A beautiful poem:

The Altar
by George Herbert

A broken ALTAR, Lord, thy servant rears,
Made of a heart and cemented with tears;
Whose parts are as thy hand did frame;
No workman's tool hath touch'd the same.
           A HEART alone
           Is such a stone,
           As nothing but
           Thy pow'r doth cut.
           Wherefore each part
           Of my hard heart
           Meets in this frame
           To praise thy name.
That if I chance to hold my peace,
These stones to praise thee may not cease.
Oh, let thy blessed SACRIFICE be mine,
And sanctify this ALTAR to be thine.