An Unexpected Friendship

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Friendship isn't a big thing -- it's a million little things.

- Anonymous

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny 

without leaving some mark on it forever.

- Francois Mocuriac

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart,

and can sing it back to you

when you have forgotten the words.

- Anonymous

Friendship that flows from the heart

cannot be frozen by adversity,

as the water that flow from the spring

cannot congeal in winter.

- James Fennimore Cooper

 Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead;

Do not write them on their tombstones,

Speak them rather now, instead.

- Anna Cummins

We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed.
As in filling a vessel drop by drop,
there is at last one drop that makes it run over.
So in a series of kindness 
there is at last one drop
that makes the heart run over.
- James Boswell

I say good-bye to April with this post, and with it comes another opportunity to look back over the past weeks with gratitude... And my own humble way of giving God the honor for all that He has allowed in my life this month is to give it a name.

Naming the month as it ends enables me to take ownership of what God has entrusted to me, the lines, the paragraphs, even chapters He has added to the story of my life that He is writing.

I embrace the events as they come tiptoeing in, or barging in unannounced... because all of the circumstances of my life, I believe, are gifts of grace from the heart of a loving God. Not all of these circumstances are pleasant, but always, there is a heavenly perspective from which they can be viewed.

During the Elijah House School of Prayer Ministry, one teacher heard God say these very words to her in the midst of a season of pain: Someday in eternity I will explain everything to you, then you will understand.

Wow! Those words gripped my heart as if God were saying them to me.

And I believe He was. Someday... in eternity... God Himself will explain everything to me... then I will understand.

I look forward to that day when I will see Him face to face, and all my questions will be answered.

It's not how we think it will happen. Once I reach heaven, I believe there will be a knowing in our hearts. There will be no need for words, or for explanation. 

As I look back over the days and weeks of this month that is about to end, my mind is filling up with thoughts of heaven for really, despite the busyness and schedules to keep, this month has been such a gracious, gentle one to me.

In His goodness, in the midst of so much uncertainty in my own life, God breaks through and pours so much grace and kindness, my cup overflows... yet He keeps pouring in some more.

There are days when you feel so overwhelmed with His goodness.

As I write these words, I'm back in Manila. I arrived here two nights ago, and in a week's time, I leave the country on a ministry trip.

I left Bacolod City with a tinge of sadness because when I return, my beloved friend Trudi will no longer be there.

Trudi and I first met seven years ago, in 2005, when our team conducted an Ancient Paths seminar in Butuan, a city in the southern part of the Philippines. She was one of the participants who received deep level healing during the small group prayer ministry sessions.

Within that same year, the Lord confirmed that she was to move to Bacolod. Trudi had already been living in Butuan for five years, serving as a lay missionary in one of the local churches in the area. This was a major move for her. She packed all her belongings into a van, including Junbec her cat, her rabbit Norman, and a lizard named Leo. This van took her all the way to Cagayan de Oro where she boarded a ship that was to take her to the island where Bacolod is located.

It wasn't an easy feat for a young woman her age to undertake, but Trudi made it.

She moved into a house not too far from where I lived, and that is how Trudi and I began our relationship. She wanted to be part of our ministry team, so at the start, my role in her life was to be one of her mentors. On top of that, we also wanted to help her get settled down in our city, so I would visit her place often and offer whatever help I could give her.

One night, just a few months after she arrived, she texted me that her rabbit Norman had died. It was raining then, and I knew just how sad she must be feeling. So I offered to come over to help her bury her dear pet. I still remember how we both dug a hole in her garden, in the rain, and we were both crying... and with a little prayer, we laid Norman to rest.

On the morning that my husband Ernie died, Trudi was among the first people who came to be with me. She came with the most practical thing anyone could do - boxes of pancakes and cups of hot coffee for breakfast. She sat outside the emergency room, offering the food to members of my family. It was such a kind gesture I will never forget.

If I were to enumerate all the things Trudi and I have done together, I could end up writing a book!

All I really want to say at this point is that my friendship with Trudi is one I never expected to happen.

Trudi is twenty years younger than I am.

At the start I took on the role of a mentor... a mother who would be there to help see her through the initial stages of living in a new city, and guide her through the stages of becoming an important part of our ministry team.

We have been on countless ministry trips together - within the Philippines... to Singapore... to the Middle East.

And we have done many other things as well - like doing the Elijah House Schools. We've been on boats, planes, buses, trains together.

I do not know the precise moment when Trudi became a dear friend. But I woke up one morning and realized that she is indeed my beloved friend.

This May, Trudi will return to England for good. She knew that her season in this country was ending, and that God was already calling her to a different direction. 

I will miss Trudi... I really will. Even right this very moment I cannot imagine what life will be like without her. I could always count on her to come with me to Starbucks, or to help me decide which suitcase to buy, then drag that suitcase all over town, go to a beachfront to share an early morning quiet moment with... or to the Talisay flea market on a Friday morning looking for cheap bargains. I will miss our Saturday morning prayer time, praying for Israel and for the Philippines!

She is a friend who has been so much fun to be with. There is so much song and laughter in our friendship!

Being Trudi's friend has made me feel very young... like twenty years younger or more! Yet, I can share the pain and the anxieties of my heart with her, and I know that my secrets are safe with her.

Trudi has a very large heart, and because she is not self-focused, she is not easily offended. She is not a demanding friend. Trudi is a very good listener. She has an understanding heart.

When I first met Trudi, she had a restless spirit... but today, seven years later, we can just sit quietly sipping our coffee, and we would not even have to say anything. I see many beautiful qualities today in Trudi that were not so evident a few years ago. I have seen her walk through the many difficult issues of her life and receive healing for them. Yes, Trudi has mellowed beautifully, and I have really watched her grow up to maturity before my very eyes.

But good-byes in this life are inevitable. Seasons come, and seasons go. 

 During my last few days in Bacolod, Trudi and I made it a point to see each other everyday. 

At Delicioso - sharing alio oglio and a plate of cold cuts and cheese.

 

It was such a special way of saying good-bye to each other.

At Jacopo, where we enjoyed lamb biryani, khbuz (flatbread) and hummus.

When I think of my friendship with Trudi, I can't help but think of how good God is in giving me Trudi for a friend. 

Taken after The Question for Young Women seminar

Yes, it is true... a true friend is God's way of taking care of us.

On the day I left, Trudi came over to have breakfast with me at home. After breakfast, we celebrated our friendship by having the Lord's Supper together. What a beautiful time it was for us, for indeed it is because of what Jesus has done on the cross that has brought redemption to our relationships.

Eternal friendships are possible because Jesus paid the price for it.

Last picture together, at my garden

And heaven will be such a wonderful place to come home to... because it is there that we will be spending eternity with people we love - forever, without end. 

There will be no good-byes in heaven.

Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long
To live as friends...

This isn't good-bye but "Fare thee well," my friend. God gave you to me at a time when my heart was grieving for the loss of my husband, and you don't know it, but you have helped bring healing to me. By your selflessness, by your cheerfulness, by your positive spirit, by your kindness, and your humility. You never pretended to know all the answers, you were just so eager to learn new things from me.

You were so right when you said that "our friendship is unique because it crosses many boundaries - age, culture, intellect, and more." I never even thought of that. But did you ever know Trud that I have learned so many things from you? Just by being yourself, you have taught me much.

And yes, I agree with you when you said that "our friendship is special because of unconditional love and acceptance both ways."  Thank you for loving me, Trudi.

I will always love you my dear friend.

Here is my song for you, my favorite of all favorites: Cavatina by John Williams. Whenever I listen to it, I will think of you.

I name this month in honor of our friendship:

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