Songs of Deliverance

This picture was taken by Ut on Sept. 27, 2008, our last day in Chiang Mai

You are my hiding place,

You shall preserve me from trouble;

You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.

Psalm 32:7

On Friday, November 21, I woke up with a song in my heart. It was the song, "Sing Over Me" from Lakewood's album, Cover the Earth.

It was like a fountain of water that kept bubbling over my heart with the lyrics and the melody. I found myself singing it over and over again.

Psalm 32:7, the verse from which the title of the song is taken, also stayed in my heart for the rest of the day.

Ruby and I returned to Bacolod very early the following day, Saturday.

I was really happy to see my husband again. Little did I know that that day would be our last day together here on earth.

I only had two hours' sleep that morning, which is one of the disdavantages of taking the dawn flight. But there were a number of important things needed to be done for the day.

Had I known what would happen within the next twenty-four hours, I would have dropped everything and just chosen to be with Ernie.

When he met me at the gate, I thought Ernie looked a little pale. Although he was his usual jolly self on the surface, I sensed that he was a bit quiet, almost pensive, underneath.

In between my "to dos" we had breakfast, and lunch together. In the afternoon, I went to the FFI office where Buddy, Ruby and I finalized the guest list for the Thanksgiving Banquet we were having on Monday night. (Craig Hill was arriving in Bacolod Monday morning to visit the FFI national office, and to give encouragement to all of us in the ministry team.) Later, in the evening, Ernie and I had dinner with our friends Pong and Rustom.

We got home at around 9:30 p.m. and having had no sleep yet, I fell asleep as soon as my body hit the bed.

At around 2:20 a.m., I woke up to hear Ernie coughing. He was sitting on the couch in our living room. I ran to his side and asked him how he felt. He said he couldn't breathe and asked to be taken to the hospital. Putting my arms around him, I spoke life to his entire body, came against any demonic assignment, and broke the power of the spirit of death over him.

We reached the hospital at about 2:40 a.m. where the Emergency Room staff gathered around him, just as they did two years ago when he had his first heart attack from which he miraculously recovered.

Our friends William and Ruby arrived a few minutes after we did. We began praying for Ernie, and I thought that everything would turn out just the way they did two years ago. We were standing outside the ER and I would just go in once in a while to check on the developments. I was so sure he would pull through.

At around 3:45 a.m. I was surprised to see them begin doing CPR in an effort to revive his heart. Ruby and I stood near the foot of Ernie's bed and began to intensify our prayers for a reversal, a revival, a restoration of health. As Ruby was praying for the resurrection life of Jesus to arise in Ernie, I heard this little voice whispering in my heart: "Ask Me to send the angels who will usher Ernie into my presence."

This was when I "knew" that Ernie was going home. I whispered in his ear, "You have been a very good husband to me, and I want you to know that I love you and I appreciate all that you have done. Thank you."

My beloved husband's earthly life ended at 4:30 a.m on November 23, 2008. At that precise moment, his life in heaven also began.

Below are the lyrics of Sing Over Me, the song God had put in my heart to prepare me for this event:

Sing over me

Songs of deliverance

Lord cover me

With Your mighty hand

Sing over me

God of the second chance

Sing over me

Once again

Once again I'm drawing near to worship

As You're drawing me

Once again You lift my head

You lift my heart to heights unseen

In a moment I am in Your presence

Everything is clear

As I hear heaven's melody

As you begin to...

Sing over me

Songs of deliverance

Lord cover me

With Your mighty hand

Sing over me

God of the second c hance

Sing over me

Once again

(from the album Cover the Earth, by Lakewood)

I thought the song was for me when I was singing it in Manila. I realize now that it was for Ernie, and I was singing it prophetically. "In a moment I am in Your presence, everything is clear, as I hear heaven's melody..."

It was my Father's way of pouring a healing balm over my heart, preparing me for the pain of separation. I have cried many tears, but as the body is still lying in state, we have to face the many people who come to offer sympathy and to condole with us. My cell phone has been ringing, and text messages have been coming in one after the other. Right now, a part of me is still numb, unable to be in touch with the reality of his passing away. I feel like I am just floating and watching myself on a surreal movie. I know that I can only begin to grieve and mourn his loss after the burial on Wednesday evening.

But I do want to say this: " Thank you, my dear Father, for having given me a second chance to be with Ernie. Thank you for that whole year in Thailand, you knew it was going to be our last year together in our thirty years of marriage, and You wanted it to be very special. Thank you, for preparing my heart for his homegoing. You have thought of everything I need way ahead of time."

Expecting the Unexpected

He went out, not knowing where he was going.

Hebrews 11:8

Twenty-five years ago, I was the "ultimate" wife, homemaker, mother, friend, churchworker, Christian.

My home wasn't anything huge or grand, but it was spic and span, the kind that had a place for everything. My garden was well-kept and well-tended. My life was in order. My finances were intact. I have reason to believe that those who knew me secretly envied me.

Yes, I was a perfectionist.

Messes were cleaned up right away. My bathrooms and kitchens were sparkling clean.

I was a stay at home wife and mom because my husband had a good income. I had the great privilege of having household help who lived with us.

Needless to say, in the midst of all this, I also thought I was a "good" Christian. I believe I was kind, humble, dependable, reliable, responsible, approachable, available...name it, I got it! And beneath all this was the subtle, unspoken message to others: "Measure up to my expectations."

There are many other things I could say about the kind of life I used to have.

And I really thought life was all about...ME. Until...

God stepped in and rescued me.


I'll be forever grateful to Him for doing that.

I could have gone through life thinking life was all about me, my plans, my agenda, my home, my family, my ministry, my dreams.

Thank God He loved me too much to let me remain that way. He stepped in and saved me...from myself.

Now, many years later, I've discovered the art of living one day at a time, and genuinely enjoy it.

Sometimes I still struggle, but not for long. There are many days when I can tell myself that the dishes...the windows...the weeding...the re-potting...the new curtains...THE CLUTTER... can wait and I have peace inside.

Slowly, but surely, through the years, I became aware of God's upward call to living an abandoned life.

Abandoned, not the "appearance or image management" kind of life that I used to have.

Oswald Chambers writes:

God makes us as broken bread and poured out wine to please Himself. To be separated to the gospel means being able to hear the call of God. Once someone begins to hear that call, a suffering worthy of the name of Christ is produced. Suddenly, every ambition, every desire of life, and every outlook is completely blotted out and extinguished...

What this means for me is that there are ambitions, desires, and outlook that only served to build my own kingdom, and those were the ones that had to be blotted out. The process is ongoing. And I am constantly asking God to build up and bring to fruition the dreams, desires, ambitions, plans, outlook... that He has planted within me as part of my identity and destiny that He wants me to use to build His kingdom.

-0-

I got a call from my friend Ruby yesterday. She and William are the national coordinators of Family Foundations International-Philippines. Since Craig Hill, the head of the said ministry, is arriving in Manila tonight, they had planned to go to Manila to be with Craig at this time.

It turned out that William had decided not to push through with this plan, for health reasons.

Ruby asked me if I was willing to go with her to Manila to meet with Craig and to be an encouragement to the other ministry teams there that we are raising up. She graciously asked me "if my schedule could be rearranged to include this plan."

A thousand and one things raced through my mind as she spoke. There have been things planned out for every single day on my calendar this week. But I have learned that it is always wise to ask my Father this question, "Is this from You, Lord?" each time a change in plans is needed. And so I did.

There was a peace in my heart, a go-signal for me to go with Ruby to Manila.

We fly out of Bacolod City this afternoon and will be back on Saturday morning.

Somehow, expecting the unexpected has become the norm or standard in my life. Doing so has kept rigor mortis from setting into my heart. It's the only description that I can think of at this point. And yes, I'd rather be prepared for the unexpected than live my daily life on the "business as usual" basis.

It keeps my heart tender, flexible, and above all, undemanding...just ready to live a life abandoned to what the Master asks of me.

When He asks, "My child, do you love Me?"

This is my reply: "Yes, my Lord...You know that I do. Help me to always live my life...in You."

A Great Weekend

It was still raining as we headed east toward the foothills of Mt. Kanlandog on Friday morning, but by the time we reached Mambucal Resort, the skies had cleared up.

For the rest of the weekend, not a single drop of rain fell!

The Lord had indeed answered our prayers for good weather during this seminar weekend.

The governor and her provincial staff left the province of Antique at 5:30 a.m. that morning. Traveling by land, they reached Iloilo City three hours later hoping to catch the 9 a.m. ferry boat to Bacolod City, only to discover that the departure time had been moved to 10:15 a.m. They reached the port of Bacolod City at about 11:30, and the Seminar Hall of Mambucal Resort an hour later.

Buddy, Melanie, Trudi and I were around to welcome them. There were 35 participants in all.

Buddy, Mel, me and Trudi while waiting for the group to arrive

After a delicious lunch, and an afternoon of rest, the group was quite ready and eager to begin the seminar.

Viewing the Empowering Relationships seminar by Craig Hill on DVD

Beginnings
It was in 2001 that the Family Foundations International (FFI) national office was opened in our country. The Philippine flag was the fifteenth flag to be hung in the main hall of the FFI headquarters in Colorado, USA.

A year before that, a group of us in our church attended the Ancient Paths personally conducted by Craig Hill and his international team here in our city. All of us had already known the Lord for many years and were even serving in leadership roles at that time. But during the teaching sessions and small group ministry time that followed each teaching, we received a deeper revelation of the Father's love, as well as an impartation of our God-given identity and destiny. There was such an impact over our lives that we desired to see others walk in true freedom, released to live out their days in accordance with God's beautiful design and purpose for their lives.

Over the past years we have offered a number of Ancient Paths seminars where participants are given opportunity to turn to Jesus as the One able to heal past emotional woundings and restore a culture of blessing in relationships.

The past weekend was quite significant for me. I realized that there were many "firsts" happening in my life this weekend. This was the first major seminar I coordinated after my return from Thailand. And this was the first time we did an Empowering Relationships seminar. It was a new release, together with Blessing Generations, and I was not sure just how effective it would be for this pacticular group that we were seeking to minister to. This is the first time that we were offering an FFI Ancient Paths seminar to a government group. In addition to the governor, there were 35 local government heads in attendance.

A lovely Saturday morning!

(Buddy took this shot of me on Saturday morning on our way to the seminar hall.)

There has been much prayer on my part offered to God for this event. It also came at a time when my daily schedules were booked with many other concerns.

By God's providence, all went well. The preparations we had done in terms of transportation, accommodations and meals went smoothly, just as planned. Both the teaching and the ministry in small groups were also well-received.

During coffee break on Saturday afternoon

Managing Offense

One of the teachings that has really changed my spiritual outlook is the teaching on offense. I first came across this many years ago when I read a book written by John Bevere entitled The Bait of Satan. I also appreciated learning more about it when we went through the lessons given by Francis Frangipane in his on-line school, In Christ's Image Training Center. Francis emphasizes that we all need to follow the example of Jesus, how He remained "unoffendable" even in the midst of many good reasons to be offended, all throughout His earthly life. In the video series Transformations, this reminder strikes my heart: "You have no right to be offended!"

How very true indeed. Offense is Satan's bait that leads to a deadly trap.

In Ancient Path Level 2, Craig Hill also talks about offense, how harboring it in our hearts brings about a hardening and a barrenness in our souls.

In Empowering Relationships, Craig develops the teaching further. He said that nurturing offense sets you up to be a "seed-carrier" of offense. It is like a bitter root that clouds our perspective and poisons our relationships.

The antidote to offense is of course the way of the cross, humility and forgiveness. But many people, even Christians sad to say, find it difficult to forgive an offense.

It was indeed a profitable weekend, not only for the participants, but also for those of us who served in the ministry team. I consider it a special privilege to be working and growing together with a great bunch of people.

(Below are a few pictures of the ministry team taken during lunch break on Saturday.)

Nikki, Anne and Babette

David, Arlene, Buddy and Babette

Bjorn and Nikki

Trudi Jane

Some of the participants recognized how offense had created walls in their hearts and in ther relationships. A number of them turned their lives over to Jesus, unburdened their guilt and excess baggages, and asked forgiveness from fellow workers they had hurt.

A snapshot of David and me with our small group

The governor thanked us for the opportunity they were given to "rediscover themselves" and said that she was looking forward to more team building seminars with us in the near future.

Group picture of the governor and her local government provincial staff taken on Saturday evening

It was a beautiful and sunny Sunday morning as we left Mambucal. Somehow I knew that in this part of the world, seeds of reconciliation were planted in many hearts, and a ray of light has penetrated dark paths.

View of Mt. Kanlandog with newly harvested sugarcane fields in foreground

Once again, life has triumphed over death!

As we headed back to the city, my heart was full of hope. This was the prayer on my heart:

Dear Father, thank You for giving us the chance to minister to this group. They come from the government sector of our country, and right now I just lift up their lives to you. As seeds of reconciliation were planted in their hearts, may these seeds not be snatched by the enemy. Rather may they take root, grow, and impact the lives of their family members and fellow workers. Shine upon our nation, dear Jesus!

Empowering Relationships

At this very moment, the governor of the province of Antique together with her provincial staff of 40 persons are on their way to this city. Antique province is in another island, so they must have left their province very early to travel by land to the next province, Iloilo, and from there board a fast craft to reach the Bacolod City pier. From the pier, two vans are ready to take the group to Mambucal Resort, a beautiful nature spot located at the foot of Mount Kanlandog, a famous mountain in our province.

They will be attending Empowering Relationships, one of the many seminars being offered by our ministry, the Family Foundations International-Philasia.

I will be the seminar coordinator, and together with me is a ministry team of small group facilitators, assistants, and intercessors. We will be in Mambucal starting this morning up to Sunday afternoon.

This is just one of the ministry opportunities that have come my way ever since I got back home five weeks ago.

The governor and her staff are traveling all the way from another island (the Philippines, by the way, is an archipelago of 7,100 plus islands!) hoping to receive healing and resolution for their fragmented relationships. They are looking to Jesus as their power and their hope.

We have been interceding for this event the past days. Cottage accommodations and special meals have all been arranged and prepared, and we have also prayed for good weather. Good weather is important because to reach the seminar hall from the cottages will require all of us to walk a bit.

Since early this morning, there has been a heavy downpour, and the clouds are overcast. I woke up to pack my bags praying that the weather will improve within the day.

We will be leaving for the foothills in just an hour. I know that this is destiny in the making for all of us who have received this awesome kingdom assignment -- both for the governonr's group, and our ministry team. We have been crying out to God for the healing of our nation. These are just a few small steps heading in that direction.

To my dear blogger friends and readers: please be in prayer for us as we in the FFI team enter enemy territory, seeking to minister God's love and healing to those who are under attack by spirits of offense, rebellion, strife, and false authority.

The Day the Lord Has Made

The Day the Lord Has Made
by Francis Frangipane

At any given moment there exists, at the doorway to the future, two possible realities. The first realm is a darkened world born as a consequence of sin. It's ongoing rebellion toward God, coupled with the unredeemed events of the past, make this reality an extension of hell. Here, conflicts and wars become more wide spread; in this realm, morality degrades into depravity.Yes, and among those who would make a difference, the grip of fear immobilizes their actions. It is of this demonically manipulated world that the scripture tells us to walk circumspectly for "the days are evil" (Eph. 5:16).

Yet, there is another reality, a different "day" that is also accessible to mankind. This second realm is the "prayed for" version of the first reality. It, too, stands ready to reveal itself. This realm is full of miracles, heavenly reversals of evil plots, and divine intervention. Here, sin is confronted, strongholds topple, and iniquity is redeemed by the power of Christ. The enemy who came in one way, flees seven ways in the brightness of this unfolding reality. Scripture has a name for this realm as well. It is called "the day which the Lord has made," and we are commanded to "rejoice and be glad in it" (Ps. 118:24).

Since time began, both of these realities have always existed. The Scriptures bear witness to numerous occasions when people have cried out to God and found the Almighty a willing ally in transforming their culture. When the Israelites humbled themselves, repented and prayed, and sought again the face of God, the Lord intervened, restored their land, and scattered their enemies.Yet, this promise was not for Israel only. Consider also the ancient Ninevites. When they humbled themselves and embraced fasting and prayer, the day of mercy dawned upon their culture as well. In just three days, their entire city went from a people cursed to a people revived and blessed.

Recent Elections
I'm talking about walking into either of two realities, especially because after recent elections many Christians are depressed. My friends, let me remind you: the future of our nation is not determined by an election, but by the faith of the elect. If we continue to pursue God, humbling ourselves and not giving up on our intercession, God can turn this nation toward Him in remarkable and powerful ways.

Yet, let me qualify my observation that "Christians are depressed." I should have said, "A number of white Christians are depressed." The fact is, Barack Obama's victory has filled most African Americans with a profound sense of joy. Indeed, the election of a black president by a majority of Americans from all backgrounds, says that the American dream is coming to pass.Consider the words of our Pledge of Allegiance. Remember, our allegiance is not merely to the flag, but for the "republic for which it stands." Our pledge of allegiance is for "one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all."

The dream called "America" is becoming reality. Even now, with a black man ascending the seat of authority in this nation, hope is swelling in places bound by hopelessness. This breakthrough of racial healing, beloved, has long been on the heart of God. Although there will always be extremists and racists on both sides of the cultural divide, we are at a new beginning in America.
Regardless of who was elected president, the problems facing America are staggering. Threats of economic collapse, conflicts around the world, plus the possibility of a new cold war all await the president-elect. We must pray for him on these major issues, for in his success will be our success (Jer. 29:7).

So, my appeal is that we not be unbelieving as this new day unfolds. Rather let us lift our eyes to the possibilities of God. We have a great opportunity to stand in the gap for our new president and intercede. If we stay the course, we will enter the day the Lord has made, and breakthroughs previously unimaginable will come.

Many Questions
I know that what I am presenting will offend the political and even moral sensibilities of many of my friends. Many will ask, "What about Obama's staunch pro-choice voting record?"

I was a Christian for several years before the Holy Spirit revealed the horror of abortion. It happened in a moment. Perhaps someone was praying for me, but God got through. Likewise, I believe God can get through to our new president. Let's take faith that Jesus Christ could lift president Obama's conscious to the "pay grade" where abortion becomes reprehensible to him.

Let me also say that America did not turn liberal; the majority of Americans in our nation are still right of center. Even in California, voters banned gay marriage. Democrats won because they fielded many candidates that were not liberal but moderates and centrists. They drew upon the discouraged independent and moderate Republican voters, people who felt betrayed or at least let down by the Republican leadership. However, the morality of the nation did not change.

What about Israel? Will the new president turn against the Jews?

The first cabinet position chosen by president-elect Obama was given to Rahm Emanuel. Emanuel is a hard charger, very clever Chicago politician. While partisan, he also is more a centrist rather than a left wing extremist. What you may not have known about him is that he is Jewish. His father immigrated to America from Jerusalem and was a former member of the Irgun, a militant Zionist group active in the British Mandate of Palestine between 1931 and 1948. There is no guarantee that Emanuel will defend Israel, but for those of us who see the possibilities created by divine influence, it is not hard to pray for continued support of Israel by America. I might be wrong, but I do not believe Rahm Emanuel, whose family is very active in their Chicago synagogue, would abandon the Jews nor Jerusalem. I think we can pray with confidence that his counsel as chief of staff would be to stand with Israel during these difficult times.

Both Wings
You have heard me say many times that I believe the great eagle spoken of in Revelation 12 is possibly a prophetic reference to the United States. The fact is, the eagle which Scripture describes as a place of refuge and protection, needs both wings to fly: the right wing and the left. What if this election offers us the possibility to heal the divisions between cultures? To bring hope to our inner cities and actually begin to rise toward our destiny?

I'm not saying I agree politically or morally with everything that Barack Obama believes, but you'll remember that one of his initial plans was to bring God and religion into the Democratic Party. He fought the influences of those in his party who had rejected Christianity and he sought to make the Democratic party a place where faith could exist and even flourish.

So, dear friend, it is not a time to despair; it is time to pray with vision and with hope. If all you see is a "cloud the size of a man's hand," then pray with the faith of Elijah that a mighty outpouring of grace may fall. Let us give God the chance to bring into our world a blessed, prayed-for reality.

One word for those who fear we have elected the antichrist, let me remind you that the evidence that identifies the antichrist is that he dies from a wound in the head and then is miraculously raised to life (see Rev. 13). Until such a sign exists, we should pray for our leaders with confidence.

One last thing about Rahm Emanuel. His family chose the surname Emanuel when they were fighting for Israel's freedom in Palestine (see personal life: Rahm Emanuel - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia). The name Emanuel means, "God with us." I am not naive to assume revival will come easy, but it will never come if we lose faith. Beloved, trust God. All things are possible, even seeing these very days transformed into the day which the Lord has made.

Praying for America

photo credit here

I wrote this comment on a friend's blog just the other day:

My husband and I have been regularly following and praying for the U.S. elections and receive almost daily inputs from our American intercessor friends. We have a prayer group that meets weekly to intercede for Israel, the Philippines, and we have also often interceded for your nation. Yes, America does need a lot of prayers. We have stormed the heavens for this election, sometimes we have prayed with so much passion for your country that we would pray with tears flowing down our faces. How we have prayed for McCain and Palin to survive the media assault on them and to reach the White House proudly wearing their battle scars, in answer to my personal plea, "My Father please use the foolish things in the world to shame the wise."

As soon as I knew who the new U.S. president was, I shed tears...for America.

I am usually very careful about my political views. Political issues tend to create divisions, so I try not to stir up division by being too open about my political opinions.

In this case, however, I am not stating a political stand. Having followed the recent events in America, and having prayed on many occasions for this dear nation, I want to express my personal feelings about something that has become very important to me.

It grieves my heart when I try to share my feelings with people close to me and they think they need to defend their stand. Let me clearly state it that I respect other people's political viewpoints and opinions. I have been told that I do not live in America and therefore, that disqualifies me from having an educated, valid stand about the issues confronting them today. That may be true from the human standpoint. But having received a calling to be an intercessor, a watchman who stands on the wall, therefore, I watch and pray.

John 5:19 is one Scripture that has always had an impact on me, in ministry, in prayer, and in personal conduct.

I pray what I feel the Father is revealing to me.

There have been many times when I realize I might not have gotten it right, but this has not prevented me from moving on, gaining momentum, and continue praying. These days, the main issues that have led my husband and me and our group of intercessors here to lift up America as she is on the threshold of destiny are these:

-the rights of the unborn, and

-the sanctity of marriage.

There are also several underlying factors guiding us as we pray:

One of them is the fear of the Lord. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Psalm 111:10

Another is revelation and vision. "Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint." Proverbs 29:18 (NKJV)

The King James Version of this verse reads this way: "Where there is no vision, the people perish."

The big question that needs to be asked is this: if fear of the Lord is increasingly being thrown out of this nation's doors and windows, how will Godly wisdom, revelation, and vision - important ingredients needed in running a country - come in?

But just as Yahweh, the great I Am, revealed His mighty hand in Egypt thousands of years ago, and led His people the Israelites out of slavery under the hardened heart of Pharaoh, we who are praying for America must never cease to believe there is a coming day of God's vindication of His holy name, and an awesome display of His great power.

I continue to hope in the Redeemer and Sutainer of the nations as my spirit cries out within me: "God Save America."

Early this morning I read a couple of blog posts that I feel are too precious not to share with others who might be following my blog. One is "Why We are Pro Life" from Kingdom People, and the other is "Living Soli Deo Gloria Under Obama" from Between Two Worlds.

Andy Park is one of my favorite singers, and one song of his that moves my heart each time I listen to it is entitled: All Over The World. This song is so timely for those of us who are crying out to God for America. More than ever, this is the time to look up in hope:

All over the world

All over the world

The spirit is moving

All over the world

Your river is flowing

Your presence has come

Your spirit is moving

All over the world

All over the world

All over the world

Your spirit is moving

All over the world

Your banner is raging

Your praises are sung

Your spirit is moving

All over the world

Divisions are falling

You're makin' us one

Your spirit is moving

All over the world

You're moving in Africa

You're touching Australia

Your spirit is moving

All over the world

You're working in Asia

You're healing America

Your spirit is moving

All over the world

And over in Europe

Your presence has come

Your spirit is moving

All over the world

All over the world

All over the world

Your river is flowing

All over the world...

(All Over the World, by Andy Park)

A Letter for Rachel

Lion of Judah - Lamb of God

photo credit here

Dear Rachel,

I'm writing you this letter because your mom is a special friend of mine. I know she loves you very much, and when I read her letter to you, something in my spirit was stirred up.


Happy 14th spiritual birthday!

Somehow, I feel that you are not just 14. You're not just 18, either. You are a young woman wiser and more mature than your chronological age. Someone like Mary, who was a mere teenager when the angel appeared to her and announced that she was chosen of God to carry the Redeemer of the world. Her humble response revealed a wisdom way beyond her years.

Do you know what your name means?

The cultural origin of Rachel is Hebrew, and it literally means "lamb."

It has a beautiful spiritual connotation - Innocence.

Having innocence doesn't mean being wimpy, weak-willed, or simple-minded.


It means having the character of Christ in the midst of ravenous wolves. It means that in this wicked and crooked generation, you stand out as a lamb.


I pray for you today Rachel, that true to your name, you will not allow the spirit of this age to take away your God-given innocence.

Innocence is what Eve lost when she bought into the lies of the enemy. Eve allowed herself to be tempted to possess something that her Maker never intended for her. She became wise in her own eyes. She lost her innocence.

Somehow, I sense that the painful and difficult circumstances of your life have not daunted you, or weighed you down. Rather, they have served to strengthen you, propel you into the levels of spiritual growth that your heavenly Father wants for you.

You belong to the "30s and under" generation, Rachel. Together with your contemporaries all over the world, you have a special assignment for these last days!

There is an eternal reason for the events of your life that have led up to this present moment.

One of my favorite songs is Jason Upton's Lion of Judah. Somehow I sense that this song has something to do with your destiny. May that lion's roar deep within you rise up and be heard, in the fullness of God's time for you. Ask God to confirm it in your spirit.

Here are the lyrics of the song:


No one knows the hour
No one knows the day
Jesus is coming soon

All creation trembles
Longing for the day
Jesus is coming soon

There will be judgment
There will be mercy
On that terrible day

Leaders will bow down
Kingdoms will fall down
Have you felt your world begin to shake?

Hear the sound of the Lion of Judah
See the fire and the fear in the enemy's camp
From the sound of the Lion of Judah roaring again

There's a new generation arising
A nameless, faceless, placeless tribe
All they fear is the fear of the Lord
All they hear is the Lion of Judah

All I saw were bones breaking in the darkness
Then I walked into the light
There I saw an army coming from the river
With five stones ready to fight...

Raise up an army...
Raise up an army like Joel saw...

Jason Upton, Lion of Judah

Praying for you,

Crown of Beauty

The Middle Child

Photo of Worshiper with his father taken last Sunday (Ernie's birthday)

We are celebrating another birthday in our family today.

In 1982, twenty six years ago, Worshiper, our second son, was born.


Our eldest son came in 1980, and our only daughter, Obedient One, was born in 1984. Worshiper is our middle child.

Each of our children has a special place in our hearts. When they were growing up, we would always tell them that. First Born is special because he is the first born. Worshiper is special because he is in the middle. Obedient One is special because she is the youngest.

Though they are all grown up now, with lives of their own, each one of them is still special.

Psychology books tell of the middle child syndrome -- the difficulties, the personality disorders that tend to occur, the struggles with low-self esteem, and a host of other things.

I can only thank God that Worshiper has none of that. He has always had a quiet, and a gentle spirit.

In fact, as I begin to think of what to write about this child of mine, memories flood my mind, and I find it hard to decide which ones to include in this post.

The circumstances surrounding his birth will always be deeply etched in my heart. My mother was planning to be with me for my second child's arrival, just as she did when my eldest son was born two years ago.

When I came to know God in deeper way in the early 1970's, I would often talk to my mom about these things. I knew she was struggling about many things, and my heart longed for her to enter into the same relationship that I had come to enjoy with God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. But each time I spoke to her about my new found faith, it would almost always end in disagreement. So I found it best to just avoid the topic, and simply live my Christian life instead of talking about it.

In 1982 Ernie and I had been praying for God to break through her heart. My mother was a very intelligent and highly capable woman and we sensed that we needed to pray to the Father to lead her to the end of herself, and give her a chance to entrust her life to Jesus as her only Lord and Redeemer.

I had already prepared our guest room for my mother who was expected to arrive from Manila in time for my second child's birth.

But just a few days before my baby was to be delivered, my mother had a stroke. It paralyzed the right side of her body, and her speech was greatly hampered. Reluctantly, my husband broke the news to me, as I was due to give birth any time, but Ernie knew I had to know.

Clearly this was an answer to the prayers I had made, but never did I expect the answer to come this way. What happened to my dear mother really broke my heart, but at that point, there was not much I could do.

Worshiper was born at 11:30 p.m. on November 5, 1982.

My heart was grieving for my mother, but at the same time rejoicing at the birth of our second son.


This child is a gift. He has a tender heart, and an undemanding spirit.

When he was four, during the "hitting the pot" game at his birthday party, he burst into tears when the candies inside the broken pot spilled on the floor and the children started scrambling for them. He thought that the children were fighting for the candies. He clung to me asking me to buy more candies right away so that all the children would have as many as they wanted. It took me a long time to pacify him.

When Worshiper was still a little boy, my husband and I never really had to use the "spanking stick" to teach him to obey. We only had to tell him a few times what we wanted him to know, and he would remember.

Another beautiful memory that I want to share is when he was ten years old. It was 1992; Ernie and I were in the middle of a severe financial loss. Ernie and Worshiper were in a department store and Ernie was looking at a beautiful desk diary that he wanted to buy. Those were the days when we did not have much money in our pockets, and even if Ernie wanted to buy it, he did not have enough money for it. As Ernie stood there, he heard this little voice beside him asking, "Pop, do you want to buy it?"

Ernie replied, "Yes, I do... I need to have one like this for my desk."

Then Worshiper asked him, "Well, why don't you buy it?"

And Ernie had to tell him, "Son, I still have to save for it; maybe we can come back for it some other time."

I wasn't there; Ernie just narrated this incident to me when they got home. But when Ernie told me the story, my heart was so touched. This is what happened. Worshiper got his wallet out from his pocket, took out a ten-peso bill, and gave the money to his father. "Here, Papa, he said, you can use this to buy your diary." Ernie broke into tears right there in the store. Of course the amount was not enough, but we knew that ten pesos was a big amount for a little boy, and he was willing to give it all to his dad.

When Worshiper was eight and just beginning to learn to play the piano, he would often ask me to teach him how to be a "very good" piano player. He already had a good teacher, but because he asked, I taught him one technique that my own piano teacher taught me when I was small. I taught him the importance of knowing how to play the scales on different keys. So everyday, we would sit at the piano, and first we would play the scales on the key of C, then move up to the next scale, until we had played it on all the sharps and the flats... and when he knew these, I would often hear him practicing his scales. I remember telling him a number of times that with such dedication, I believe that someday he will turn out to be a great piano player, and that he will one day play great music for the Lord on the piano.

At 12, Worshiper joined our church's music ministry. And at 14, he became one of our church's keyboardists.

Worshiper has a passion for worship. He was asked to be a keyboardist for one of the bands that played for the Jesus Revolution Solemn Assemblies (Jesus Revolution is equivalent to The Call). And their band has played in several cities here, as well as in Hong Kong.

A few years ago, the Lord has impressed upon my heart that Worshiper has a Levite anointing, and having realized that, I have often prayed for this son of ours, that the path to his God given destiny will never be blocked.

One of his dreams when he was a teenager was to become a "world class missionary." I don't really know what he meant by "world class," but I know that he had a Youth With A Mission missionary from Canada in mind.

There is so much more that I can write about him, but surely there will be another time and place for that.

Today, as we celebrate his 26th birthday, I can only praise God for giving us the honor and the privilege of raising a son like him.

Ernie at 62

Today is Ernie's 62nd birthday.



When he turned 60 two years ago, we had a simple celebration in the ICU. His sister and I had planned to mark the event with a big party, which never materialized because of his heart attack, just the day before his birthday. Nevertheless, true to what God has impressed upon my heart, this particular birthday was indeed a milestone, one that will never be forgotten.


Last year, Ernie and I celebrated his 61st birthday in Chiang Mai. Our two children Worshiper and Obedient arrived that very day to spend the special event with their father and me. Both children stayed for a few days with us in Thailand. That they had taken time and effort to be with us on this occasion made this particular birthday a truly memorable one for all of us.




This time around, for his 62nd birthday, Ernie was able to celebrate the event in a very special way. His sister prepared a sumptuous lunch for our extended family. There was prime rib, grilled peppers, spinach tortillas with two kinds of zesty dip, salad greens with mandarin oranges, sliced almonds, artichokes, and a special homemade dressing of balsamic vinegar, olive oil, sweet basil, rosemary leaves, and dill. We bought a special ube-macapuno cake, with cashew ice cream to go with it. Italian Roast brewed coffee at the end of a hearty meal made everything extra special.

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Celebrating events is something that we need to do. It doesn't even have to be grand all the time. My own personal style is simple, elegant, and above all, meaningful.

When we look at the history of God's dealings with His people, we will understand that He has a calendar of feasts that are to be celebrated every year (See Leviticus 23). God is a God of order, and part of His grand creative design is for His people to enjoy the privilege of fellowshipping with Him and with His people. These feasts are worth noting, for not only are they meant to be enjoyed, they also teach us what we as His people need to do, as far as his overall redemptive plan is concerned.


This morning at church, our pastor began his sermon series entitled The Last Days. Indeed, we are in the last days, but rather than look at this with feelings of dread, we are to look at these events with a sense of joyful hope. One of my best-loved passages in the Bible is found in Luke 21:28 which says: "Now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near."



Something in the way Bro. Mario said, while quietly commenting on Pastor Joe's sermon, struck my heart. He said, "We are in the last days of the kingdom of darkness, and we need to rejoice because it means that we are now in the birth pangs of the kingdom of God and His righteousness!"



What hope those words inspire within my heart!



Among the last parables that Jesus gave about the kingdom of heaven includes references to a marriage feast that the King gives for His son.




God clearly wants us to be a joyous, thankful people, marking the events of our lives with feasting and celebration.

And so on the passing of Ernie's 62nd birthday, I am happy that we were once again able to celebrate it meaningfully, and provided us another occasion to rejoice at the things that God has done in Ernie's life.

I took many pictures of the occasion which I will upload together with this post when the internet signal improves (hopefully within the next few hours).